LEX LUTHOR frowned when the sky suddenly turned dark. His vast intellect, far beyond that of those who might be generously called his peers, told him that it was caused by a meteorite coming far too close to Earth. He heroically resolved to stop it!
The next day, the ignorant scientists at EPRAD finally noticed the meteorite and eventually came to the conclusion that their intellectual better had already reached. The smartest scientist said "We should call LEX LUTHOR for help!" Everyone agreed with this decision. Even though they were nowhere near as smart or wise or clever as LEX LUTHOR, they at least had this much intelligence; all except for one moron who said "What about Superman?" (Because he read too much of the Daily Planet and bought into their lies that Superman was actually good for something).
"No!" They corrected him. "We need LEX LUTHOR, the greatest leader since his namesake Alexander the Great of Macedonia, and a worthy successor of that name and legacy! He alone is smart and brave enough to help us, and benevolent too! Far better than that alien who arrogantly calls himself 'Superman' when someone like LEX LUTHOR is around, who clearly has a better claim to that title!"
At last, their foolish comrade saw sense, and they all went to the palatial home of Metropolis's gracious benefactor, to ask him for aid.
"Why, of course!" LEX LUTHOR said magnanimously. "As it happens, I already developed a device last night that will save us all!"
"Not so fast!" shouted a voice, and everyone looked out the window to see a certain garishly outfitted alien sneering at them. "I'm Metropolis's best hero, not LEX LUTHOR! I'll prove it by stopping the meteorite all by myself!"
"No, stop!" LEX LUTHOR tried to warn him, but the pompous alien paid no attention. He flew off into space and hit the meteorite so fast that he exploded into tiny bits.
LEX LUTHOR sighed and activated his machine. It caused the meteorite to slow down and land safely in a LexCorp research facility, where it could be studied and mined for valuable ore to benefit all mankind.
"Oh, LEX LUTHOR, you saved us!" Shouted the scientists. But LEX LUTHOR was too modest to accept their thanks, even though he rightly deserved it.
That night, LEX LUTHOR went on a date with his sexiest girlfriend Lois Lane, a reporter for LNN who used to work for the Daily Planet until she realized her rightful place in the world was at his side. He told her about how he had saved the world and about Superman's death.
Lois shook her head. "I always knew he was an idiot," she said. "I'm glad I don't have to write those fake stories about him for the Daily Planet, anymore. You're the real hero, LEX LUTHOR! We should make you the president and head of the U.N.!"
LEX LUTHOR laughed. "Maybe someday soon, my love!"
THE END
