So very nervous about doing this! I haven’t written fic forever – no one around here probably remembers me! – but it was such a favorite pastime of mine in college. I was feeling a little nostalgic this past summer, so I decided to re-watch the pilot… and then some wink When I finished the end of season 1, I realized that I’d never done a BatP/HoL rewrite in my fic days; I was more of a season 2 girl (just check the archive, lol). Anyway, I’d forgotten how painful that rejection in the park was… and so I changed it and wrote what I wished would have happened: that Clark had shown a bit more resolve when Lois turned him down. In re-watching season 1, there were just so many times that Lois showed more than just “partner-ly” feelings for Clark (she can say what she wants, but girl was jealous of a “look” Dr. Baines gave Clark in the pilot ep, and she’d only known Clark for .7 seconds…. so whatever). Anyway, I wanted Clark to go after her a bit more. I’m sure it has been done before, but I couldn’t help but write my own version… so for old time’s sake, here it is. I found that I was pretty rusty, but I did enjoy writing it! I imagine it'll be 4 or 5 parts, and I'll try to post every few days or so. Thanks for reading!

A huge thank you to KathyB for being an amazing beta-reader: characters, plot, title, whatever I needed, she was there. This story is a thousand times better than it deserves to be simply because she was kind enough to lend her time and talent. I love that after all these years, she still knows these characters like the back of her hand. You are fantastic, Kathy! And thanks also to one of my dearest L&C friends, Kaethel, for reading this earlier and giving me some terrific feedback.

This one’s for all my FoLC friends, most of whom have moved on to other fandoms or just moved on in life in general. Here’s to our meetings in Baltimore, Boston, Scranton, North Carolina… to 20 years ago and to carefree college days… traveling to meet each other, writing fic, checking the boards, IRC chatting, and not worrying about much of anything! I miss those days, but I will always be grateful that this crazy, beautiful show brought us together.

All I Ask
by Tracey <supertlc19@aol.com>
_____________________________

The short walk from Luthor News Network to Centennial Park was torture. Torture, because with every step he took, he knew that he was nearing the moment when he would change their relationship forever. But really, what choice did he have? It was either that or let her waltz off into the world of LNN on the arm of Metropolis’s most ruthless criminal. He refused to do that – at least, not without a fight. Not without telling her.

They were at a crossroads now. The Daily Planet was gone, and the job which bound them together wasn’t there anymore. Luthor had proposed; Lois was considering. Clark could feel her slipping away from him, and there wasn’t anything he could do to stop it… except tell her. Tell her and pray that she’d listen – really listen – to him.

Pray that she’d see him – them – the way he did.

When they’d left LNN, she’d started talking, but she’d stopped when it had become clear to her that he wasn’t in the mood to chat about the excitement of working in the network news business. She’d asked only one question he’d actually answered: “The park?”

He’d just nodded; for this conversation, he’d have preferred to be someplace less public, like his apartment or maybe hers, but she was working and he knew she couldn’t go far. So… Centennial Park it was. At least they’d gotten out of that sterile, soulless building Luthor owned. From the second Clark had set foot in the lobby, he’d felt like he’d been choking on the superficial arrogance of the place.

For the last several minutes, they’d walked in silence, the only sounds around them the cars, the horns, the shouts, the general din of the city. As they’d neared the park entrance, he’d noticed that she’d begun taking shorter, slower steps, and all he could think was that she was trying to slow their arrival because she’d sensed the shift in his demeanor. Somehow, she could read him; she knew he was about to change it all.

They had barely made their way into the park when he started talking. He knew that he had to get it out before he lost his nerve. He needed to tell her that… well, that he needed her. Needed, loved, desired, treasured, and a million other verbs and adjectives that came to mind when he thought of Lois Lane. She was a part of him, and it was time she heard it from him. He took a deep breath, trying to calm the suddenly nervous thudding of his heart. He may be Superman, but he was about to lay himself bare at her feet; even superheroes had their limits when it came to love.

“Lois,” he started. It was cautious, and when she looked at him, there was concern and slight panic. He couldn’t stop though; he was all in this time. “When I thought about losing my job at the Daily Planet, saying good bye to Perry and Jimmy and everyone… I realized something.”

He paused, gathering his nerve, and shifted his weight to one side as they walked. “I realized that I could lose all of that and still go on. I realized that there was really only one thing that I didn’t want to live without.” Clark stopped walking, making sure he had her full attention. “And that… was you. Seeing you every day, working with you, just being with you…”

At that, she broke in. “Well, that’s why you should come and be my partner!” Lois rubbed a hand reassuringly across his upper arm, as if her touch alone could convince him.

She was trying to turn it back around to partnership; she was trying to salvage them and give him an out. He loved her and hated her for it at the same time. She knew where he was going his impassioned speech. Frustrated, he stepped in front of her, turning, asking her without words to sit down next to him on the bench they were passing. She followed his request, looking a little lost. “No, Lois, listen to me. I’m not talking about partnership. I’m talking about… us.” The stress of the last word was deliberate, the emphasis unmistakable.

He watched her eyes widen fractionally, like she couldn’t believe he was saying it out loud. He would’ve told her to sit down if she hadn’t already been; if that had thrown her, he was about to up the ante.

“I have been in love with you for a long time.” He said the words slowly and clearly, so there was no mistake. “You had to have known.” And it was true; there was no way Lois could’ve worked beside him for the last eight months and missed the way he looked at her, lingered near her, touched her with a combination of eagerness and awe.

By calling her on it, he knew she’d take him seriously. There would be no misunderstanding here. He’d put it out there: Lois, I know what a sharp, perceptive woman you are. I’ve watched how you read people. I know you are completely aware of how I feel about you.

He wondered if she’d remember how she’d warned him not to fall for her practically within 5 minutes of meeting him. He wondered if he should tell her that it had been too late, even then. Clark Kent had already fallen in love with Lois Lane.

Her eyes dropped, but she didn’t deny it. “I mean, I knew…” she trailed off, looking unsure of what to say next. “I mean, I guess I knew… that you liked me, or were attracted to me.”

There was a pause, and he steeled himself at the look on her face. He knew what that pause meant. Every man in the world knew what that pause meant.

“Oh, Clark.” She was looking down again, seemingly unable to meet his eyes. His expression was probably completely pathetic right now, but he couldn’t help it.

When she did look at him again, her face was pained and her voice strained. “I’m sorry… I just don’t feel that way about you… romantically. You’re my best friend, and the only partner I could ever stand to work with. I admire you, and I respect you, and I do love you… as a friend.”

And even though he’d known the words were coming, they still hit him with the force of kryptonite. No amount of respect or admiration could soften the blow, though he knew she’d tried. He looked away and ran a dejected hand through his hair as he stood, needing space from her.

One last question, one last thing he had to know, and then he’d leave her alone. For all his bravado earlier about fighting for her, right now he just felt like curling up in a very un-Superman-like ball and licking his wounds. “And what about Luthor? Do you love him?”

At his question, her eyes skittered away. There was another pause. This one didn’t hurt so bad; it was a good sign. “I don’t know,” she said. “I mean, I have feelings for him. I haven’t said yes yet.”

Thank God. Her vague, disjointed answer gave him hope. He didn’t know what attracted Lois to Luthor, but whatever it was, Clark was certain that she wasn’t in love with the billionaire. Flattered, sure… dazzled, maybe. But in love, hopelessly and eternally? She wasn’t. He knew that.

That information made his next sentence easier. He’d already told her his deepest feelings, so this request should be a snap. Maybe he was going down, but he wasn’t going without a fight. This one woman had made him feel so much in the time that he’d known her; he couldn’t walk away completely. He wanted more time – preferably days and weeks and months with her, but if she wasn’t going to give it, he’d ask for something smaller. She was about to say something else, he could tell, but he interrupted her before she could. “Then do something for me. A favor.”

She closed her mouth, and whatever words had been on the tip of her tongue vanished. “A favor?” she repeated.

He sat back down beside her and reached for her hand – he wouldn’t have dared in any normal situation, but this was about as far from normal for them as they could get. “You know how I feel about you, now. And I guess…. I know how you feel. But this is it for us, Lois. Do you get that? I won’t work for Luthor. We can’t be partners anymore. And now that he’s asked you to marry him… if you say yes, I probably won’t stay in Metropolis. Everything that has kept me here will be gone… my work, my friends…” He paused, and the pain was palpable. “You.”

“But Clark, it doesn’t have to be like that!” She began to pull her hand away, and he knew that she was preparing to fight again for their partnership.

He held on. “I’m not trying to hurt you, Lois. Believe me, that’s the last thing I’d ever want to do. But I can’t stay here, live in the same city with you, see you at professional events… and watch you in a relationship with someone else. Over the last few months, I realized that whether it’s Luthor or anybody else – I just can’t do it.” He drew in a deep breath. “So… as your best friend, I’m asking for one more thing from you.”

She was watching him warily, and there was a slight sheen to her eyes that hadn’t been there before. “What?”

Clark shifted on the park bench, facing her more fully. He gathered what was left of his courage and just asked her. “I want you to go out with me. On a date.”

She looked stunned, as if he’d just asked her for the moon. Maybe he had.

“A date?”

“A date,” he repeated, adding emphasis to the word. “That's all I ask. I want one evening where it’s just you and me: no Luthor, no job, no leaving. A night where I can treat you the way I’ve always wanted to… because I always thought we’d have that first date, you know? Do you remember our first investigation together? I asked you to have dinner with me practically the moment I moved to the city.” He laughed, but it was more self-deprecating than humorous. “I’ve loved you since the day we met, Lois.”

She wasn’t saying anything, and after a moment, he continued. “So I’m asking for that date again. Maybe not as a beginning this time… maybe more as an end. Before we move onto the next chapter of our lives… new jobs, new relationships, whatever… I just want that night.”

The shock was still evident on her face, more so even than when he’d said he loved her. It was almost like she’d expected that to some degree, but didn’t know how to handle what he’d just asked of her. After a beat of silence, Clark finally let go of her hand and stood up. He wasn’t going to wait around to get rejected a second time.

Before he went, he faced her one last time. “I know it’s a lot to ask. Just think about it, please? And if you decide to, come by my apartment tonight, around 7. If you don’t come, I’ll know your answer, and I won’t bother you again.” He reached down, cupping her cheek in his palm and tracing her jawline with his fingers. “I’ll always love you, and I’ll always want you to be happy.”

And with that, he stepped away from her, slipping his hands into the pockets of his khaki pants. He walked out of the park without looking back, unsure – but knowing that it was quite possible – that he’d just said good-bye forever to the woman he loved.

==========

Lois sat on that park bench for a long time after he’d gone. She’d watched him walk away, waiting for him to turn around and tell her it had all been a joke; he’d just been kidding around. He didn’t really love her, hadn’t just asked her out on a date, and that sure, he would come work at LNN and they’d be partners just like before.

Just like before.

She mourned those words, because nothing would ever be just like before. Why did they have to go and mess everything up?

And when she said ‘they’, she meant both Clark and Lex. Lex, who’d bought the Planet, and then went right ahead and made the wholesale changes he’d promised he wouldn’t make. Lex, who’d turned her world upside down by asking her to marry him – when really, they’d only been dating a short while. Talk about sudden! And every date they’d ever been on had been formal, almost like he was courting her. Dinners, operas, banquets and events… good grief, she’d never even seen him without his suit and tie, and she was supposed to be thinking about spending the rest of her life with him? She was so mad at him for rushing their relationship!

And then there was Clark, whom she’d just spent the better part of a year with and who’d come to be her best friend in that time. She’d had the best year of her life, both professionally and personally, with the Kansas country boy by her side. Sure, they’d started out a little rocky, but it was only because Lois Lane had an admittedly difficult time trusting people. She’d been unsure of his motives, and she hadn’t liked being saddled with the greenhorn reporter when they’d first met.

However, in the weeks and months that had followed, she’d come to learn that Clark was the rarest of breeds. In fact, she’d never met anyone like him, probably never would again. He was green, sure, but he was just as a good a writer as she was; his style was different, but it complimented hers perfectly. Together, they’d broken some of the biggest stories the Planet had ever seen, and professionally, they were amazing. Personally, she’d entrusted him with some of her deepest secrets, and to her knowledge, he’d held every one of her confidences. She’d come to rely on him and feel secure knowing that he had her back, no matter what. He might not always agree with her, but he’d always treat her with respect. And almost a year later, she could now say that she couldn’t imagine working with anyone else. She not only wanted Clark beside her... she needed him there.

That’s why she’d called him today. When the job at LNN had opened up for her – Lex had made sure of that – she’d immediately thought of Clark as well. She knew that he hadn’t gotten a new job yet, so it was perfect. They’d start together at LNN, and she could still be his partner. He’d still be beside her every day.

Except it wasn’t perfect, and she was so mad at him right now for changing everything.

He’d said that he loved her. Loved her! He was her partner and her one constant, the person she knew would always be there for her… and now he loved her?

She knew what “love” did to relationships. Her “loving” home growing up had been a constant source of pain as her parents fought bitterly over her father’s workaholic personality and subsequent unfaithfulness. She’d watched her mother turn to a bottle to dull the pain, and Lois had been confronted with adult issues long before she was ever ready. She’d tried to spare Lucy the brunt of it, becoming almost a motherly figure for her, but once Lois had turned eighteen, she’d been kicking the door down to get out, with Lucy not far behind.

But, unbeknownst to her, she hadn’t quite escaped yet; in college, she’d lost a friendship to a guy who turned out not to be worth her love anyway. Paul was the first in a list of mistakes she’d make in the romance department in the coming years. In the end, she’d just been embarrassed at her behavior and sad she’d slept with someone who could claim to love her one week and then be dating her new frenemy the next.

The worst of the mistakes, though, had come when she’d first started at the Planet. Things had been going well; she’d been building a reputation for good work, and she’d been feeling like she was making a difference in the world. Her writing was helping people, and that was important to her. But just when she’d started to feel comfortable, Claude had slithered out of the woodwork and taking a liking to her; as first she was flattered, but undeterred from her work. He was persistent, however, and soon she had fallen for him, thinking that this time was going to be different.

This time, she’d thought, she was in love with a man who not only shared her passion for journalism, but who was also smart and talented, well-traveled and worldly, and, not to mention, good-looking and charming. This time, it would work. So she’d given him her heart that night, and in the morning, she’d been devastated to realize that she’d woken up with a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and that wolf had taken not only her pride, but her story in the process.

He’d told her that he loved her, too.

She sighed. So, really, who could blame her if the very thought of love made her want to run screaming?

Truth be told, she hadn’t even stopped to think about what to say back to Clark once he’d admitted that he loved her. In fact, she’d barely heard him before she was shaking her head, thinking No, no, not again, to herself before she’d told him that she just didn’t feel that way about him. At that point, she’d only been trying to save herself from another disaster of epic proportions. Even though she knew in her heart that Clark was not a Claude, she couldn’t help but back away. She wasn’t ready to go down that path with another co-worker, and she definitely wasn’t willing to let one of her relationships become fodder for the gossip mill again. It didn’t matter that the Planet was gone; Metropolis was one big, citywide, gossipy newsroom when it came to the journalism business. The news that she and Clark were more than partners would’ve been all over the Metropolis Press Club faster than Superman could fly across the horizon.

Superman. Now that was another can of worms entirely. Yes, she still had feelings for the superhero; in fact, she’d been thinking that she should talk to him, too, before she made any decisions about accepting Lex’s proposal. But now with Clark’s declaration that he loved her – and with this date he’d asked her on – she just felt like she couldn’t add one more thing to the mix. Her emotions were stretched thin enough as it was, and truly, one or two stolen kisses with the superhero was not – no matter how she tried to stretch it in her imagination – a relationship. And even if she said something to Superman, deep down she knew his reaction would probably be a gentle, “I care about you, but I belong to the world,” noble, self-sacrificing statement that would only serve to hurt her, as nice as he’d try to make the rejection.

Kind of like she’d done with Clark this afternoon.

Ouch. Knowing that she’d hurt her best friend like that was a tough pill to swallow. She knew what it felt like to be on the rejected end, and it wasn’t fun. When she’d turned him down today, she’d expected him to turn and walk away; he’d surprised her, though, with his request for a date. One evening for them to be together… like a couple.

Now what was she supposed to do about that? Not show up and break his heart for a second time? How awful a person was she? And it wasn’t like he was asking her to meet him at a chapel in Vegas… he was asking her to have dinner. They’d had dinner together a hundred times since he’d started work at the Planet. She’d been to his apartment more times than she could count; heck, she’d even spent an entire night there once when Barbara Trevino had been intent on extracting her revenge, and Lois had been terrified enough to run to the one person – besides Superman – who had always made her feel safe.

And she wasn’t engaged yet; as a matter of fact, she and Lex had never even said they were exclusive to each other… which, truthfully, made her think yet again how strange it was that he’d asked her to marry him. She hadn’t even introduced him to her family, they hadn’t spent any holidays together… he’d once caught her in her robe eating ice cream out of a carton and she’d almost died of embarrassment. And yet he thought he knew her well enough to marry her?

The whole thing was absurd. In a few weeks’ time, she’d been asked for her hand in marriage by a man whom she truly didn’t even know that well, lost the job she loved and the workplace that felt more like a home, and now she was on the verge of losing her best friend as well because she didn’t feel as strongly for him as he felt for her.

Lois pushed off the park bench, standing up angrily. Well, it wasn’t doing anyone any good, just sitting her wallowing in self-pity. She’d figure out what to do once she got home. Even though there were still a few hours left in the workday, there was no way she was going back to LNN now and finish her orientation; she wouldn’t hear a word anyone said to her.

She grabbed her briefcase from beside where it lay beside her on park bench and started off in the direction of Carter Avenue, her footsteps quick and staccato against the stone path.

==========

Lois wished she could say that she’d arrived home in a far better mood than when she’d left the park, but that wasn’t the case. For the entire cab ride home, her thoughts had crisscrossed between Clark’s declaration of love and Lex’s proposal on the plane. Two men, two vastly different personalities, and yet they both claimed to love her. But did either one, really? And how was she supposed to know?

And how did she really feel about Lex? Clark had asked her point blank if she loved the billionaire she’d been dating, and the best she’d been able to come up with was, “I have feelings for him.” What did that even mean? That didn’t sound like the answer of a woman in love.

Tossing her briefcase down by the door, she moved into her apartment, kicking her heels off as she passed by the couch. She made her way into her bedroom, unbuttoning the muted pink suit jacket and shrugging it off her shoulders. Shedding the clothing that smelled faintly of the offices at LNN helped her mood slightly; she wished she could shed the memories and emotions of today as easily. She couldn’t help thinking that everything in the last few weeks had happened too fast, like there were deadlines in her life, unbeknownst to her, that had to be met: date a billionaire, fall in love, get married before you hit thirty. Like someone had put her life in overdrive suddenly and she was struggling to catch up. Would she even be considering Lex’s proposal if the Planet hadn’t been bombed?

Probably not, came the truthful answer. If she and Clark were still working as partners at the Planet, if she was still going about her normal everyday life, she probably would have thought about Lex’s proposal and then told him that it was too soon, that they needed to get to know each other better before they decided on something that would change their lives so drastically.

But that drastic life-change had happened anyway, in the form of the bombing at the Planet. And wasn’t it just a tad too coincidental that the Planet was destroyed just after Lex had bought it, and then Lex just happened to have an opening at LNN all ready for her? Coupled with what Clark had already said about Lex – he’d warned her several times to be careful – didn’t it seem strange that her life would shift so dramatically, all at the same time? If she was the suspicious type, it wouldn’t take too much stretching to imagine that Lex had somehow engineered it all.

But wait, wasn’t she the suspicious type? She was an investigative reporter, for goodness’ sakes! True, Lex had never done anything to make her uneasy, but wasn’t it her business to see beyond the external? What had she told Clark that one time – to “rip away the veil of secrecy and expose the naked truth”? And logic told her that Lex hadn’t made it to the top by being an especially nice guy to everyone he met. He had to have some skeletons in his closet.

Maybe tonight, she would ask Clark to be a little more forthcoming about his dislike of Lex Luthor. If he knew something, she needed to know it, too.

Wait… tonight. She stopped short as she reached into her dresser drawer for pair of lounge pants to match the t-shirt she was already wearing.

Their “date.”

What was she going to do?

If she went to his apartment tonight, he’d think she was agreeing to the date. And she didn’t want to give him the wrong idea; she’d made it clear in the park today that she just didn’t feel that way about him. It wouldn’t be fair to him to spend the evening as his date if she was even considering Lex’s proposal at all. It would just hurt Clark even more if she went over to his apartment, even as a good-bye kind of date, and then accepted Lex’s proposal just days later. Plus, it had killed her to hurt him this afternoon – she knew for a fact she didn’t want to be the cause of any more pain for him.

But even still, an uninterrupted evening spent in Clark’s company didn’t sound all that bad right now. Everything had been so hectic in the last few days; following the bombing at the Planet, she hadn’t seen Clark much at all. If they could actually sit down and talk to each other, maybe she could get him to see that this whole “Iove” thing was probably just a reaction to the changes going on in their lives. If she thought about it like that, she didn’t really blame him; it was hard getting up each morning, knowing that their jobs were gone, their partnership effectively ended, and now, even their friendship was on rocky ground. Maybe all they really needed to do was talk and assure each other that they’d never be out of each other’s lives completely; she recognized that a friendship like theirs didn’t come around all that often. At least, it didn’t for her; she could count on one hand the people that could stand her for more than a few hours at a time.

And – her next thought came quickly – if she didn’t show up tonight, she stood to lose Clark completely. He’d already said in the park that if she didn’t come, he wouldn’t bother her again. Lois knew him well enough to know he was a man of his word. He would take her absence tonight as proof positive that she didn’t want anything to do with him, and he’d be out of her life and out of Metropolis as quickly as he’d come.

And she couldn’t let that happen. The thought of never seeing Clark set her chest aching and a strange hollowness in pit of her stomach. She had to figure out a way to get him to see reason and for them to stay friends.

That thought propelled her to throw the lounge pants in her hand back into the drawer. They’d never do if she was going to go to Clark’s apartment tonight. She needed something nicer. Not too nice, but nice. Would a dress be too fancy? He hadn’t said what they’d be doing; he’d just said come to his apartment. But work clothes wouldn’t do, either… he’d seen her in enough suit jackets and skirts to save his life. Maybe those jeans Lucy had convinced her to get when they were out shopping that one time? The cream-colored denim showed her figure well, especially her legs. They looked good on her, she knew, even if they weren’t her usual style. And they went perfectly with her burgundy blouse. Besides, it wasn’t a crime to want to look nice for a date-that-really-wasn’t at your best friend’s apartment, right?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the shrill ringing of her telephone. She glanced over at it; she really didn’t feel like talking to anyone right now… but what if it was Clark?

She made her way over to the nightstand and plucked the phone from its cradle before it could ring again. “Hello?”

“Lois, darling. How are you?”

Lex.

It hadn’t occurred to her that the caller could be him. As if she didn’t have enough to deal with right now. She plopped down on the bed next to her.

“Oh, Lex. Hi.”

“I’m so glad you’re home. When I called LNN and asked to speak with you, and they said you’d stepped out and hadn’t returned. I was worried about you. Is everything all right?” His smooth, polished tone held just the right amount of concern, and for a moment, Lois felt guilty about cutting out of her orientation early.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to worry you. I just … had some things to take care of this afternoon,” she hedged, not wanting to get into specifics. “I’m fine.”

“Wonderful. I was hoping that we could have dinner tonight. I’m eager to hear about your first day and what you thought of the network. I trust you fit in perfectly.”

Well, she wouldn’t go that far, Lois thought; she’d been interested, sure, but she’d also felt a more than a little overwhelmed and out-of-place. At first, she’d been happy to be around the news again, but after a while, she had started to ache for the newsroom at the Planet. That was where she belonged. LNN had felt like trying on an expensive dress; beautiful and sophisticated, but not quite her style, and definitely not something she wanted to wear every day.

“It was very nice,” she hedged, but thankfully, she didn’t have to elaborate any more before he responded.

“Excellent. I’ll look forward to hearing more about it tonight. Would you prefer I send a car at 6 or 6:30?”

“Oh…” She took a breath, trying to find the words to tell him she didn’t want to come to dinner. There was no way that she could tell him what she was really planning to do this evening. Even if they weren’t technically engaged, she had a feeling Lex wouldn’t understand her having dinner at another man’s apartment, even if the man in question was her best friend. “Actually, Lex, I’m feeling pretty tired after today…. you know, with it being my first day and all. I think I’m just going to relax tonight.” She didn’t mention exactly where that was happening. “Thank you for the invitation, though.”

There was a surprised pause on the other end of the line. Lex Luthor obviously wasn’t used to hearing no. It only took him a moment, though, before he recovered. “Of course,” he answered smoothly. “I shouldn’t have been so presumptuous. I was anxious to see you. Please accept my apologies.”

“Oh, no, it’s okay. Another night?”

“Of course. How is tomorrow? It’s supposed to be a beautiful evening; we’ll dine at sunset on the balcony.”

“That sounds good.”

“Wonderful. I have a meeting until seven, so shall we say seven-thirty? I’ll send a car.”

“No, that’s okay. I can drive over,” Lois said quickly. She hated being anywhere without a means to leave when she wanted to – not that she would ever say that to Lex. She grabbed the pen and small pad of paper that always sat next to her bedside and jotted down “Lex tm night @ 7:30” in hasty scribble. “I… uh…I’ll see you later. Good night.”

“Good night, my dear. Enjoy your evening.”

She replaced the receiver, eager to get off the phone. There was a tiny part of her that felt relieved at not having to see Lex tonight; she didn’t feel like putting on a show and playing up how much she loved the day touring LNN and meeting her new colleagues. Colleagues that didn’t include Perry or Jimmy or Jack… or Clark.

But she wasn’t going to think about that right now. She was going to go over to Clark’s and hopefully gain some clarity on the whole situation. Spending time with Clark had a way of centering her and putting things in perspective, both of which she desperately needed right now.

Lois glanced over at the digital clock on her nightstand. She had a little over two hours before she was supposed to be at his apartment. Good. Lois stood up and made her way to the bathroom, grabbing a towel from the linen closet as she passed by. She had time to shower, dry her hair, re-do her makeup, and make a final decision on the perfect outfit.

Most importantly, though, she had time to think about what she was going to say to him once she got there. There were a thousand reasons why partners at work shouldn’t be partners in a romantic relationship. She’d just have to spell them out for Clark and cross her fingers that he was listening. She didn’t want to lose his friendship. Not now, not when she had so many other things happening in her life.

==========

Lois pulled onto Clinton Street a few minutes past seven. She took a deep, fortifying breath as Clark’s apartment came into view. This was it. Thankfully, she found a parking space right in front of the building, and she parked the Jeep quickly, her motions on autopilot as her attention centered on what she was going to say to Clark.

Lois took the few steps up to Clark’s door slowly, clutching the railing. Her mind was still in turmoil; turned out, two hours of “getting ready” time hadn’t been enough time at all to plan what she was going to say. She’d gone through a million rehearsals in her mind, but in the end, nothing had sounded exactly right:

Dating would mess with our partnership. Of course, as of right now, they didn’t have jobs at the Daily Planet anymore, so technically, they weren’t partners at work. And he’d told her today that he wouldn’t work at LNN… so they couldn’t exactly mess up a partnership that wasn’t there.

You’re just not my type. Well. What exactly wasn’t her type? Tall, dark, and handsome, with an admittedly great body? A guy with whom she could talk and laugh about all kinds of subjects? A guy she enjoyed being around, even when he was driving her crazy editing her copy? Someone who complimented her, cared about her well-being, and valued her as a person? That wasn’t her type?

You would get tired of me, annoyed with me, frustrated with me, and you’d leave me. That seemed a lot closer to the truth of why they shouldn’t be together romantically… but when she’d thought about it, there had been so many times in the last year when she hadn’t exactly been the nicest person to him. In fact, they’d argued, fought, been annoyed, been frustrated with each other…. and every time, they’d found their way back. They’d found common ground, apologized, made up, forgiven each other, and moved on. If partnership was like marriage, as she’d once said herself, they actually didn’t have a bad one.

In fact, they had a pretty great one.

Truly, instead of finding lots of convincing reasons why he shouldn’t love her and why they could never be together like that… she’d only confused herself more. Because the more she thought about it, the more it seemed like Clark Kent might just be…

Good for her? What she needed?

In the end, she’d decided not to think about it anymore. She’d pulled on those cream-colored jeans she’d thought about earlier and paired it with a soft burgundy top that always made her feel just a little sexy when she wore it. The sleeves were three-quarter length, the material soft and flowy. She knew the color looked good on her, and the neckline was suggestive without being revealing. A pair of diamond studs and a long, thin gold chain completed the ensemble, and, after a spray of her best perfume, she was ready to go.

Physically, anyway. Her head was still a mess, but she’d thought that she’d still have the ten-minute ride over to Clark’s to figure the whole thing out.

Until that was over, too… and she still wasn’t sure what she was going to say.

Which brought her to where she was right now, staring awkwardly at his front door, her hands shaking slightly as she raised one to knock. The soft sound echoed against the wood, and she stood there for a moment, frozen, afraid that he hadn’t heard her. It had been hard enough to do the first time; she didn’t want to have to knock again.

Just then, she heard footsteps against the landing. He opened the door swiftly, as if he was afraid she’d already disappeared because he had taken too long. Her name was a quick exhalation from his lips. “Lois.”

“Hi,” she whispered.

==========
tbc