Chapter Thirteen
Despite Cat’s insistence on talking about Lois’ love life, the lunch was nice. Lois decided that she’d never given Cat the credit she deserved, either professionally or personally. It was nice having a good friend who was a woman, even if Cat’s idea of evening entertainment was stuffing the dancers’ G-strings at Chippendale’s with dollar bills.
In between the frequent bouts of laughter, though, Cat always came back to urging Lois to come clean with Clark. Give him a chance, she’d said. Let him make the call.
Lois didn’t know how to tell her that he’d already made that call. And, in Lois’ baseball double-talk, she was out, not in. She couldn’t even qualify for Clark’s class ‘Q’ league.
In her motel room – an inexpensive chain on the far side of the city from the airport – she sat on the bed and looked at her wedding band. It was simple, almost plain, with two small diamonds on either side of an engraved heart. It was also the most beautiful thing she owned.
She’d wear it for one more night. Before she took her clothes with her to Perry’s guest room, she’d give it back to Clark with a wish that he’d find a good woman to spend his life with. It wouldn’t be her, of course, but surely there was someone out there for him, someone he could trust and love and cherish.
There was no one out there for her. She couldn’t imagine any man being as worthy of her trust and love as Clark, any man who she would cherish for the rest of her life except him.
*****
They passed each other in silence the whole day until he asked her, “Have you seen the latest news?”
She shook her head in his general direction. “No, been too busy.”
Clark reached out and handed Lois the Planet’s latest afternoon edition as she closed the latch on her suitcase. “It’s done,” he said quietly. “MPD and the DA’s office served the warrants this morning. They got all the major players in the city. The ones across the river in Gotham, too.”
She took the paper and nodded without looking at him. “So Intergang is finished?”
“It is in Metropolis. There’s still some cleanup going on as far west as Iowa and as far south as Virginia, but everyone in the New Troy branch is either behind bars or on the run with no support. Bill and Perry both think that they won’t be back any time soon.”
She read the headline and scanned the first two paragraphs. “Anything firm on Bill Church’s possible involvement?”
He shook his head. “Not that I’ve heard, but the police and the DA’s office have just started putting pressure on the people they’ve arrested. Right now he’s not speaking on the record to anyone in the media, but if he’s dirty, we’ll know about it pretty soon.”
“I hope we know sooner than later. Have you talked to Louie yet?”
“Yes. Kim, too. Neither one of them was happy to be part of what Louie insisted was a sting operation. He’s concerned about the hit his reputation will take when he cancels our upcoming gigs. Kim eventually calmed down. She does want to talk to you soon, though. I think she’s upset that you didn’t trust her with the truth.”
The parallels between her situation with Clark – he didn’t tell her about being Superman – and the situation with Kim – Lois didn’t tell her the whole comedy team thing was an undercover assignment – stuck a knife in her heart. As uncomfortable and awkward as the conversations with Clark had been, they would be just as difficult with Kim. The similarity was that both deceptions were at least partially justified by the need to protect the innocent. The difference was that Lois would be the one confessing the deception, trying to justify it in the name of safety for Kim.
It was all true, too. But that didn’t mean she had to like it. Truth – at least, this truth – was a double-edged sword. It didn’t escape her that this particular blade would cut both ways. And it would be a most difficult lunch meeting. Surely Kim wouldn’t attack her either verbally or physically in public.
Or she might. With Kim, one never quite knew how mad she could get.
Lois sniffed and rubbed her nose on her sleeve. “I’m not looking forward to that conversation.”
He paused as if thinking about saying something unhelpful involving a shoe being worn on someone else’s foot, but he didn’t. Instead, he asked, “So, you’re all packed?”
She nodded again, still without looking at him. “Yes. I’ll be out of your hair for good after today. I’ve already checked out of the motel I was in last night. Perry told me I could use their guest room until Cat’s spare room is ready. My old apartment is rented out to someone else now.”
He sighed. “If that’s what you want.”
“That’s what needs to happen.” She hefted the suitcase with both hands and turned to look at him. “I hectored you into this fake marriage. Now that the assignment’s over and we both have our jobs back, we can – can get the annulment and go back to the way it was before.”
She wished she hadn’t made eye contact with him. He looked stricken, as if he’d just been told that his parents had died.
He held her gaze for a long moment, then softly said, “There’s at least one important thing that we can’t go back to.”
“What’s that?”
“You not knowing that I’m Superman.”
She dropped her chin to her chest and squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them again. “No. I can’t ever forget that. But you have to believe that I’ll never tell anyone. I won’t even hint about it.”
“The thought never crossed my mind, Lois.”
The ghost of a smile tickled her lips. “Never? Not even once?”
He shrugged. “Well, yeah, it did once, but I knocked it down, dragged it down an alley, and beat it to death with a big stick.”
She almost laughed, then forced herself once again not to cry. “I’m so sorry, Clark.”
“Sorry for what? I put you through some real hard times the last few weeks.”
“You didn’t deserve the lousy treatment I gave you. Or all those terrible accusations I threw at you.”
“But I—” He stopped, then lifted his hands as if surrendering to her. “Look, let’s just agree that neither of us deserves a good conduct medal for our behavior toward each other during this investigation and let it go at that. Okay?”
She pressed her lips together and nodded. “I’m still sorry.”
He moved closer, close enough to touch her, but his hands fell to his sides and stayed there. “I’m still sorry too. Can we stop there? No more mutual self-recrimination, please.”
She sniffed and tried for a grin. “Still trying to one-up each other, aren’t we?”
He shook his head and sighed. “I’ve resigned from that competition. I can’t beat you at that game.”
A little of the old Mad Dog Lane fire flared up. “Oh, thanks so much for that. You’re so kind and thoughtful.”
His lip twitched. “I aim to please, ma’am. Do you want me to take your suitcase to your car?”
The fire fizzled out and she put the suitcase down. “Sure. And – thanks.”
Cat’s repeated admonitions to tell him the complete and unvarnished truth rang in her mind again and she made a momentous decision. It was past time to come clean with Clark, and she would wager everything in her life on his reaction to the next five minutes.
If she won, it would be worth everything.
If she lost, it wouldn’t matter in the slightest.
He leaned over and gripped the handle, but she put her right hand on his left shoulder and stopped him. “Wait, please. I – I have some things I want to say – no, some things I need to tell you first.”
He released the grip and stood. Her hand slid down his arm to his hand where his wedding ring rested and she held on to it as if it were a lifeline. “Okay,” he whispered.
“You promise to listen and not interrupt me?”
“I promise. You talk, I’ll listen and hear what you have to say.”
“Good. I hope it’s good, anyway.” She squeezed his hand harder. “When we first – we first started this assignment – and you told me what was really going on – you tried to tell me something important and I stopped you. I thought you were going to tell me that you loved me but I understand now that you were trying to tell me that you were Superman. And I stopped you again just before we went to the courthouse for the wedding. You were going to tell me then, too.”
She paused and waited for him to correct her, but he remained silent. She took a deep breath and continued. “When you flew us out of that dead end alley I thought I’d been shot and killed and an angel was taking me to – to wherever angels take newly dead people. Then when I realized you’d flown us out of there I got mad and scared all at the same time because I thought you’d lied to me but I understand now that you didn’t tell me when we first met because you didn’t know if I’d print the story or not. Then all that crap with Lex happened and you didn’t know if I’d tell him about you being Superman either accidentally or on purpose and right after he – after he jumped you didn’t tell me because you were afraid I was in a really bad place emotionally and you’d have been right. I don’t know how I would have reacted.”
She stopped and wiped her face with her free hand. “Then I didn’t want you to tell me that you loved me because I was afraid you’d be saying that just because you wanted me to feel confident and secure around you and I was stupid and scared and I pushed you away. Same thing when we got – when we went to the courthouse. I was scared you were going to say it just to make me feel better and then back out when we filed the story and I – I couldn’t face that.”
She looked into his eyes – his deep, compassionate, confused eyes – and decided to jump off the high wire without the safety net. Or maybe she was base jumping without the flying jumpsuit. Whichever metaphor fit the situation, she plowed on gamely. “I tried to hint to you how I really felt but you didn’t ever react like I thought you would and I was scared that you’d meant it when you’d told me that you loved me that day in the park but then the other day when you said that I’d driven that love out of you I got even more scared but Clark—” she held up her left hand and showed him her own wedding set “—I don’t want an annulment. I don’t want a divorce. I don’t want to move out and I can’t move on. I love you. I want to be with you. And please don’t think that I’m saying this because I know who else you are because Superman wouldn’t be the hero that he is if you weren’t inside him making the decisions for him and being his conscience and wearing the suit and carrying all the responsibility he carries – the responsibility you carry.”
She finally lost the battle to hold back her tears and her eyes overflowed. “So it doesn’t matter to me how you feel about me – well, that’s not really true, it does matter – but what I mean is that whether or not you love me I love you and I want to be a real wife to you and you to be a real husband to me. I want to keep these rings and wear them proudly and work with you to write about the bad guys and wait for you when you come back to me after a difficult rescue or bad crime scene and help you remember that all the good you do is all you can do and we’re all the better for it. I want to share bylines with you and come home with you and let you cook for me and I’ll do the dishes all the time.” She pulled his left hand toward her lips and gripped it with both of hers, then kissed his ring finger. “I love you, Clark Jerome Kent. If you don’t love me I’ll still love you. If you still want an annulment I won’t fight you but I’ll still love you. And if you think it’s best for me to leave the Planet or the city or the Eastern seaboard I’ll go but I’ll still love you.”
Their joined hands slowly fell between them and her gaze dropped to follow them. “I’m an idiot, Clark. I’m the worst kind of fool, the kind who pushes away the best person in her life, the best friend she’s ever had or ever will have, just because of ego and pride and fear. If I could change anything in my past, I’d change the way I treated you and looked past you and ignored you just because I was so very stupid and scared. I only hope that someday you’ll find it in that big heart of yours to forgive me.”
She cast about in her mind for more to say, but for once she was talked out. A HALO jump stood for High Altitude Low Open, the kind of dangerous parachute jump military Special Forces made behind enemy lines. The jump she’d just made was a HANC – High Altitude No Chute jump, the kind of thing the Air Force euphemistically called a Zero Survivability Situation. There were only two choices – be saved by Superman or punch a deep hole in the earth when she landed.
Actually, she realized, Superman couldn’t save her this time. Clark was the only one who could keep her from shattering against the ground.
The moisture in her eyes clouded her vision and she felt rather than saw Clark step closer to her. His voice whispered into her ear, “Is it my turn to talk now?”
She nodded and braced herself. Here it was, the mortal blow from which she would not recover, could never recover. Her heart lay bare before the blade of his next few words.
“Good. I have a question for you.”
She pressed her eyes shut. “What is it?”
He pulled her into his arms. “Why didn’t you say any of this before? Why did you keep it from me?”
Her hands became fists against his back. “I – I didn’t want to put any pressure on you to – to pretend that – pretend that you—”
He laughed softly. “You and I are both complete morons.”
“What do – why would you say that?”
“Because there’s no reason for me to pretend that I love you, Lois. I love you for real. And everything you just said goes double for me.”
What?
Her head jerked up and her heart almost stopped beating. What did he say?
He must have read the confusion in her eyes. “I don’t want an annulment either. We’re married and I don’t give a rat’s patootie how it happened because I want us to stay married. Oh, Lois, I have loved you since I first saw you in Perry’s office that first day at the Planet. If you leave Metropolis after saying what you just said I’ll hunt you down wherever you go and beg on bended knee for you to come back to me. I’m so very sorry that I was such a stupid idiot and hurt you. I want you to forgive me and – and I love you.”
His lips found hers and she melted into smoke. Her arms wrapped around his massive chest without any conscious decision on her part. Her heart started beating normally again, then accelerated.
His hands, free from constraint, snaked around her torso and enveloped her. She slipped as close to him as their clothing would allow as her eyes overflowed down her face.
She was determined never to let him go again.
*****
At first, Clark was stunned as Lois told him that she loved him. Then he was ecstatic. Then he felt as full of love for her as he ever had in his life. Her sobs only bound his heart to hers more tightly than ever, and he knew she’d meant every syllable she’d spoken.
As they kissed, her hands began pulling his shirt up and rubbing the bare flesh on his back. He hadn’t laid a single finger on her since she’d first moved in except to return a friendly embrace she’d begun, and he’d never tried to push the envelope a single millimeter. But this embrace was different for him – it was passionate, it was blazing hot, it was free and open and eager and hungry. He wanted her. Right now. On the floor, on the table, in the bed if they could make it that far. He didn’t care.
It wasn’t just him, either. Lois was responding to his touches as if she’d been waiting for him for years. It was time to take advantage of that. They were married, after all.
Take advantage—
No. He couldn’t take advantage of her, not in this vulnerable state. She might not care afterward, but he would.
So he called on all of Superman’s immense strength and power and managed to move her back about four inches.
“Lois, wait!” he panted. “I – I need to tell you something else.”
Her eyes were unfocused and her lips were parted. “No,” she muttered. “No more talking. I want you now.” Her mouth opened and she went for his throat.
She’d never wait for him to tell her again how sorry he was, but there one thing he had to say before this got any more up close and personal than it already was. “Please! I promise – uhh! – I promise to be quick!”
Still panting, she leaned back slightly. “It better be real quick.”
He gently took her left hand in both of his and knelt before her. “Lois Lane Kent, I love you more than I love my own life. Will you stay married to me?”
She goggled at him for a moment, then threw back her head and laughed aloud. “Yes, you big lummox, I’ll stay married to you!”
“Thank you.” He stood and drew her close again. “Now where were we?”
Her face shone like the desert sun. “We were on our way to a much-delayed honeymoon.”
“That’s what I thought.” Before she could speak or move, he lifted her in his arms and walked quickly to the bedroom door. She laughed again and reached out to twist the doorknob and push the barrier open.
“I hope you locked the front door, Clark. I don’t want to be interrupted now. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”
He tossed her five inches into the air, super-sped to the front door and locked it, then zipped back to catch her before she realized he was gone. “It’s locked now.”
As he carried her into the bedroom, she said sternly, “You’d better not do everything at that speed.”
He grinned and kissed her softly. “I can be super-slow if I want to be.”
“Good.” He lowered her to the bed at a pace that wouldn’t challenge an arthritic snail. She took advantage of the situation and unfastened his belt. “Maybe not quite that slow,” she whispered.
He leaned down and kissed her again. “We have all the time we need to get the pace right. In fact, we have the rest of our lives to work on it.”
Her smile lit face again. “That sounds so wonderful. The rest of our lives.”
“I love you, my beautiful bride.”
Liquid filled her eyes again and she ran her hand through his hair. “And I love you, my darling husband.” She kissed him deeply, then said, “I swear that I’ll never keep anything from you again.”
He smiled back. “I give you the same vow.” As he bent to apply his lips to her neck, he muttered, “You know, I really did earn that green belt.”
She chuckled. “You should find a teacher and keep going, then. I’d love to spar with someone – ohh, that feels so good – uh – someone I can’t leave a bruise on.”
He kicked off his shoes, then bent to remove hers. “Do you want me to call Cat for you and tell her you won’t be moving in with her after all?”
“You touch that phone and I’ll break it over your super-dense head! Now come here so we can mmmph!”
He didn’t care what she had planned to say. And if her return kiss was any indication, neither did she.
*****
Cat stood in the long evening shadows cast by the streetlights and frowned at Clark’s front door. She was uncharacteristically unsure of her next move.
Find Lois, Perry had said. Call me as soon as you do and let me know how she is, he’d ordered. I haven’t heard from her since this morning and I’m worried about her, he’d confessed.
Cat was worried too.
Lois’ Jeep was still in the building’s parking area, but there was no luggage inside. The hood was cool to the touch, so she knew it hadn’t been driven recently. There was no sign of forced entry to the apartment, no hint that anything was amiss inside. And the lights were all off, which might mean that they had been so exhausted that they were both asleep.
But she still had to find Lois.
Cat sighed and started hunting for Clark’s spare key, something she knew about from Lois’ rants about his unreasonable down-home Kansas trust. Her fingers found it above the door jamb, right where she’d expected.
At least the door was locked. That argued for Lois’ presence. According to her, Clark would have left the door open for any bum off the street. A quick turn of the key and Cat slipped into the apartment, silently closing the door behind her.
She’d been here once before, with Jimmy and Lois, back when Clark had first joined the staff and had just rented the place, and the transformation was dramatic. The look had been early condemned rat-trap back then – now it was clean and fresh inside, from carpet to ceiling, and a deep sniff told her that someone was using cleanser on a regular basis. A quick glance toward the dining area let her know that Mr. Green Jeans was still also Mr. Clean Jeans. And she thought he’d had an open floor plan, but the bedroom had a door now, one that was open only an inch or two.
But she wasn’t here to evaluate Clark’s living conditions. She still had to find Lois. Maybe she was asleep on the couch?
Then came a clink of glass and a rush of water from the tap. Her quarry stepped out of the kitchen and dabbed at the corners of her mouth with one finger.
The brunette’s face was scrubbed clean of makeup and her hair hung down to her shoulders, unbound and unkempt. The only garment Cat could see on her was one of Clark’s KU jerseys, a sleeveless one which hung down just below her hips. Her eyes were at half-mast and her walk was slow and slightly erratic, and there was a preoccupied smile on her lips.
“Lois?!”
Lois tried to jump straight up and twist into a defensive crouch at the same time. She tugged the hem of her jersey lower on the way down from her jump and barely managed not to fall to the carpet. “Cat!” she hissed. “What the f— what are you doing here?”
Fighting laughter, she said, “P-Perry sent me to find you. What are you doing here?”
Lois crossed her arms, seemingly half in defiance and half in an attempt at modesty. “What do you think I’m doing here?”
The obvious conclusion came to her mind and slid out of her mouth before her mental filter had a chance to engage. “Clark.”
“What?”
“I think you’re doing Clark.”
“Why you redheaded—”
“I guess you two made up, huh? Good thing you’re already married.”
“Will you be quiet!” Lois hissed again. “He’s sleeping!”
“You wore him out already?”
Lois huffed and put her hands on her hips. “Cat, will you please just go? We’re both fine!”
She couldn’t help but sing, “Nothing could be fine-ah than to be with Lois Lane-ah in the mo-o-orning.”
“It’s not mor – that doesn’t matter! Out! Now!”
“Lois and Clarkie, sittin’ in a tree—”
“Will you please shut up!”
“I guess you listened to me after all,” Cat giggled.
“Pretty smart conclusion, Cat.”
Both women snapped their heads toward the bedroom door where Clark leaned against the jamb wearing only a pair of loose gym shorts, his glasses, and a satisfied smile. No shirt on his massive chest blocked Cat’s view of the rest of him. “Now that you’ve found Lois,” he said casually, “is there something else you need?”
Cat stared at him, totally mesmerized. She’d known from the first day she’d met him that he had a really good physique, but even with the diffused light from outside she could see this – this nearsighted Adonis come to life before her. He was Michelangelo’s depiction of David. He was Hercules without the beard he sometimes wore in the ancient statues. He was Perseus after putting down Medusa’s snaky head. He was Apollo by Gian Bernini, although Lois didn’t resemble the accompanying Daphne in the slightest. He was the envy of every body builder in the world, not to mention the living, walking dream of most of the women currently living.
He was incredible.
Or, maybe Lois was his Daphne after all. Except she certainly wasn’t trying to get away from him. Clark could be her Apollo any time, Cat thought.
The room turned fuzzy for a moment, then Cat realized she’d forgotten to breathe. She pulled in several deep breaths and shook her head to clear her vision, then looked up at Lois again.
The little minx had moved next to Clark and had slipped under his arm. She grinned at Cat and said, “Okay, like Clark said, you’ve found me. Please tell the editorial worrywart that we’re both fine and that we’ll be back in the office sometime this week to finish up our paperwork for reinstatement to the Planet.” The couple’s heads turned toward each other as if telepathically locked. “Uh—” muttered Lois “—probably much later this week.”
“Um – yeah. Sure. I’ll tell him.”
Their obvious love for each other, their shared desire laid immodestly bare and out in the open, made Cat jealous for a moment. It was probably why she thought of it.
She shouldn’t ask. A rubber-armed robot in her head began chanting, “Danger, Cat Grant! Danger, Cat Grant!” It would be better if she didn’t ask. It would be far healthier for her if she didn’t ask. It was altogether a bad idea to ask. In fact, Lois would probably go completely ballistic on her if she asked.
So she asked anyway.
“Ah, Lois, sometime later, when the two of you aren’t too – um, busy – can I – can I – you know – borrow Clark for a little while?”
Lois slid in front of Clark and her eyes stabbed at the intruder. With a voice full of razors and freshly-whetted knives, she asked, “You want to borrow my husband? Really? What do you think that I think about that idea?”
That was a full-bore, full-force Mad Dog Lane glare. It was one of the most frightening things Cat had ever experienced. The looks Lois had given her in the newsroom over the past years were pallid ghosts compared to this molten steel.
Cat backed up a step and raised her hands. “I – I think he’s your guy and I want to keep on breathing and I’m sorry I said anything bye!”
She was out the door and halfway to her Porsche before she realized she had neither locked the door nor put the key back where she’d found it.
That would have to happen later. Much later. She wasn’t about to get in range of Lois Lane today, not to return a key or do anything else. Cat was going home to call Perry and let him know that Lois was fine, just fine, that Clark was fine, just fine, and that they weren’t faking the marriage any longer. Then she planned to take a long cold shower and think about glaciers.
She hoped it worked like it was supposed to. A cold shower was one thing with which she had precious little experience.
