Aaaand here we go again!
It was past time, actually. The stress of their marital pretense was getting to Lois. She’d started thinking of – and occasionally voicing – snide little comments about Clark’s actions, or lack thereof, and his reasons for doing or not doing something.
Sounds like she's getting all the fun of being married but doesn’t have to suffer through sharung a bed with her husband. Poor Lois, so much pent up energy, and no release valve.
She forced a laugh. “Knowing Jimmy’s appetite, he probably ordered extra sandwiches so he could eat them and not let them go to waste.”
“At least, not to anyone else’s waist.”
They'll be insufferable once they're back but keep making those stand-up remarks.
CAT: At least they won’t be all lovey-dovey all the time, or locked in the supply closet.
She desperately hoped it wasn’t too late.
Maybe she needs to take a hot shower and then towel off in the bedroom?
He was, of course, sitting at his desk, marking up the front page of the next morning’s edition, frowning at it as if attempting to force it to conform to his exacting standards.
"Poodle made poo-poo at dog show" by Ralph Spagoda.
Being here at the Planet might be partly very difficult and partly a joyous occasion for Clark, but apparently Lois needed this place almost as much as she needed to breathe.
Duh!
TEMPUS: Hey! Copyright!
“Got to keep up my reputation as a hard case. Clark, it’s good to see you too. I’ll hug you if you promise not to kiss me.”
All three of them laughed at that, and Clark gave Perry a quick man-hug, complete with two almost-simultaneous back-pats. As he stepped back, Clark said, “Not that I don’t enjoy seeing you again, Chief, but I make it a matter of policy not to kiss other guys.”
Worried his wife might get any ideas and start kissing other guys? Preferably of the non-terrestrial persuasion?
Maybe Cat was a far better reporter than he’d thought. And he’d never thought of her as a bad reporter, just one with misplaced professional priorities.
LOIS: Yes, professional. Uh-huh.
He regained his balance and blushed a little. “Isn’t the brave knight supposed to rescue the damsel in distress and not the other way around?”
Well...she did.
LOIS:
![[Linked Image]](https://cosgan.de/images/smilie/figuren/e075.gif)
CLARK:
![[Linked Image]](https://cosgan.de/images/smilie/froehlich/e025.gif)
He grinned at her. “I just can’t see you as a damsel in distress, Lois. The role just doesn’t suit you.”
![[Linked Image]](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/4a/00/ff/4a00ff6754a2fc5ca464523f9f9a5050.jpg)
I think Louie wants to make sure Clark doesn’t sneak out on a Batman hunt after our late show.”
CLARK: You go bar hopping with Bruce *once*--
LOIS: /clears throat/
CLARK: Fine, *three times* and all she can go on about how I keep tracking him down when I'm in Gotham.
PERRY: I thought Lois said 'Batman hunt'...?
“Har and har. We’ve also got a show at a youth center tonight at seven. I don’t think we’ll need a code phrase for that venue.”
Like they wouldn't have needed one at the orphanage last year?
Lois pushed the last of her sandwich in her mouth. “Mph tmph.”
Cat frowned at her. “How rude, speaking with food in your mouth.”
“It’s okay, Cat,” said Clark. “At least this time she kept her mouth closed while chewing.”
LOIS: Smph mim ladmph. (See? I'm a lady.)
As Angelique, she ran a modeling and escort agency that’s a front for prostitution, gambling, running numbers, and a little bit of judicious blackmail to keep the doors open and the cash flowing in.
She's quite the entrepreneur.
ANGELIQUE: What's between my legs paid for what's between my ears.
As far as I could find out, Benton hasn’t killed anyone, but he likes to beat up guys.
On the plus side, he is apparently *not* known for liking to beat up women.
Perry shook his head. “I just can’t believe that Bill Church is Intergang’s top dog. I play golf with that man. He gives millions to any number of charities, and his companies pay good money to their employees.”
LEX:
Lois lowered her gaze to the table. “Lex Luthor did too, Perry.”
LEX: My words! I kept telling them that I'm innocent.
“You’re working with Bobby?”
Cat smiled. “When I can, yes. And I found out that he likes my fried chicken with black-eyed peas.”
Lois returned a half-smile. “Just think of the money I could have saved if I’d known how to cook.”
Priceless!
Clark deliberately didn’t look at Lois as he thought, Partner, you have absolutely no idea how much self-control I have.
LOIS: Hmm...apparently I have to dress myself up as a chocolate chip cookie, then? You know, nude, with big chocolate chips covering strategic places plus some smaller sprinkles for effect?
All three of the others looked at him as if he’d spoken in an obscure Martian tribal dialect.
CLARK: Hmm...no, that wasn't Martian. The White's roll their R's more and the Greens have this peculiar lisp.
Lois didn’t say anything, but her brows drew together and she looked away from her partner. Perry sighed silently. He’d thought that their sham marriage would cause problems, and it appeared that he’d been right.
Yeah, they probably need to be locked into a BnB room with a bed and a shower and not let out for a week.
Same thing in Gotham City. They’ll execute their warrants the same time as we do ours.”
Next day...
Gotham. Batman kicked down the doors of *three* suspected Intergang Kingpins in Gotham, sending the rest of them for the hills.
BATMAN: What? The police wasn't doing anything.
He grinned at her. “Don’t sweat it, honey. After this story breaks, you can just about name your salary and benefits when you come back.”
Yeah, she can name it. Doesn't mean she'll get it.
“I sure was. Smallville High. Go Fighting Crows!”
Most of the kids in the audience turned back to the stage and laughed. “The Fighting Crows?” Lois mocked.
Yep. They've all sworn a vow of chastity-
CROW: No, only that we'd father no children!
LOIS: So, *that* explains our marital issues.
![[Linked Image]](https://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/vulture/2016/05/09/game-of-thrones-ep-3/09-game-of-thrones-6-3-005.w710.h473.jpg)
“Lois, how many of these boys and girls know what copyright infringement is?”
One fifth-grade boy in the second row wearing glasses and a pocket protector holding four pens and two automatic pencils jumped up and waved his hands. “I do! I know what it is!”
Sheldon Bender, Jr.?
I was right?
Even if it was just as friends.
![[Linked Image]](http://expert2.be/smilie/pix/tapfoot.gif)
Yes, I can see how this is getting closer to the finish line. Say, why is there a 'bridge closed' sign straight ahead?
Michael
or 
?
and "Vae Victis" to the baddies.
coming first. Thanks for the kudos, y'all! But first, the reveal. Michael, my most faithful beta reader on this flight of fancy, has anticipated some of my best twists and turns - and had his head spun around by some others.