Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic If You Only Knew 5/15

Thank you to folc4evernaday and Morgana for beta-reading this for me. I would also like to thank Demi, Nostaliakick, and Endelda when I was stuck on some major scenes. This chapter was a long time coming, I know. The next chapter will not take me as long to write. Enjoy.

If You Only Knew
Part 5

The sound of the clock in the bedroom ticking away was beginning to grate on his nerves. The piercing stare Lois was giving him from the bed was agitating him. He knew she was angry. He could hear her heart pounding. He turned to look out the window catching the sight of Lana's pickup truck parked near the gate that separated the Irig and Kent farm. 'That's why I didn't know she was here.' he thought to himself.

"So? You're gonna ignore me here too?" Lois' voice reached his consciousness and he groaned inwardly trying to regain control of his emotions. On one hand he was thrilled to see her. He'd missed her like crazy since he'd been in Smallville, but finding her fighting with Lana agitated him. With everything else going on with the farm, his dad's health and the finances with his parents the last thing he needed was try and negotiate peace between the two women. What Lana had been doing half-naked in his bedroom he didn't know and he really didn't care at this point. He'd ordered her to get dressed and leave, but it seemed she was taking her sweet time in doing so.

“I’m not ignoring you, Lois,” Clark replied as he turned towards her. “I didn’t expect you to come to Smallville.”

“Did you expect me to wait in Metropolis forever for you? You showed up in the middle of the night and pretended I wasn’t even there,” Lois reminded him as she placed her hand on his shoulder. “Then I show up and there is a strange woman clad only in a towel.”

Clark looked at her with tenderness in his eyes. He didn’t invite Lana over, he had told her before he had a girlfriend.

“I told Lana -” Clark began.

“This isn’t about her. This is about us. Clark, you didn’t call. You didn’t even wake me up that night you came home,” Lois stammered the anger seeping through her voice as she turned away. “What is going on?”

“Lois, I called last night and this morning at least three times,” Clark admitted. “You must have already left for the airport. I’m sorry, but I have had other things on my mind.”

“Like your parents’ finances?” Lois asked as she turned back to her boyfriend. “I can help, if you let me. I have enough money saved from my Kerth ...”

“No,” he said abruptly. It wasn’t about the money, it wasn’t about her being here. It was the pain he felt that he wasn’t fast enough, good enough to save everyone especially those he loved most. “This isn’t about money, Lois. You can’t fix this. I can’t fix this. No one can fix this. I have work to do in the barn,” he told her before leaving.

Clark was ecstatic to have Lois in Smallville. When he felt the familiar sound of her heart beating earlier, his heart skipped a beat until he realized she wasn’t alone. Now he wasn’t sure what to do with her here. He knew he should be relieved that she came here to help him. He knew he should be overjoyed that she was offering to help him and his parents. He was, yet at the same time it reminded him of how he kept falling short. He was Superman and there was still so much that was out of his control. Overwhelmed with the emotions threatening to overtake him, he stormed out of the bedroom.

He was angry.

Angry with Lana for showing up unannounced.

Angry with Lois for fighting with Lana.

Angry at his dad for not telling him how bad things really were.

Angry at this mother for hiding how bad their finances really were.

Angry at himself for not seeing what was going on.

***

Lois jumped off the bed and followed Clark. She heard the sound of heels on the hardwood floor in the living room and sighed in relief. ‘The sooner she leaves the better.’ Truth be told she did feel a little bad about how Clark had found her fighting with Lana. That wasn’t exactly how she’d imagined their reunion going, but the things that woman had said…

The front door closed and she heard Lana pleading with Clark, “If you change your mind you know where to find me.”

“Lana, just go,” she heard Clark yell from outside.

Curious, Lois stepped out onto the front porch. Clark was walking back toward the barn, not even looking back. Lana was standing at the end of the driveway looking at him with a perturbed expression on her face.

“Buh-bye now.” Lois gave an exaggerated wave as she watched Lana Lang stalk up the hill toward the cherry red F350 she’d seen parked there earlier when she’d arrived. Lois wore a smug grin as she watched the young blonde climb into her truck covered in the now damp, formerly manure infested clothing she’d arrived in.

Lana threw her a glare but didn’t say anything. Lois watched as she dropped something into the grass by the driver’s side of the door with a smile.

‘Oh, no you don’t,’ Lois thought to herself, running up the hill. She picked up the red pocketbook Lana had dropped on purpose, tapping on her window with a irritated grin, “Lose something?”

Lana studied her, seeming to contemplate her next move. A soft moo from the fence caught Lois’ attention. The Irig’s cow didn’t seem too keen on their current neighbor. Lana lowered her window and took it from Lois with a jerk. “Don’t come back without calling.” Lois warned.

“Whatever.” Lana rolled her eyes, jerking the truck into gear with a hard push. The tires spun and Lois watched her attempt to speed away and catching herself in one of the many potholes on the farm.

Lois laughed, turning back to the Irig’s cow, petting it on the head, “What’s wrong? You don’t like that little hussy either?” A loud shriek and door slamming could be heard from where Lana was currently stuck in the soft mud on the side of the Kents’ driveway. The cow let out a low moo and Lois sighed, “I guess we’re going to have to help her out in order to get her off this farm and away from Clark, huh?” The cow grunted. “I’m going. I’m going,” Lana shouted.

***

“What am I going to do with those two?” Clark grumbled, the calf, giving him a look as he entered the barn. He went to bale some hay, trying to focus on anything but the confrontation from earlier. The calf let out a short moo and his facial expression softened as he looked up at him. A memory flashed through his mind as he recalled the first time he’d helped his dad bale hay. He’d had an audience back then too.

//“Remember to keep a good grip or….”

“Oh!” He fell down on the dirt floor, looking up at the calf that had grabbed the pitch fork from his hands. “He did that on purpose!” He accused to his dad.

His dad let out a chuckle, “He’s still learning and growing. Just like you.”//

Clark put his hand on the calf’s head and scruffed the little bit of hair on the top. He took in a deep breath, left the calf, and started baling the hay at super-speed. Overcome with emotion, he moved through the barn like lightning, thankful for something to help push away the memories and pain that enveloped him. He had to work off some his aggression. He had to keep moving. He had to keep busy. If he stopped then he’d be left alone with his thoughts and that was not something he was ready to do. He wasn’t ready to deal with the pent up frustration he had at his current predicament. He wasn’t ready to deal with his anger at his parents. He wasn’t ready to deal with his anger at Lana or Lois or even himself. All he wanted to do was disappear into the business of keeping the farm running. It was the one thing he could do to help. He couldn’t save his father from his heart attack but he could do this.

He came to a stop, staring at the mountain of bales of hay in front of him. He let out a heavy breath, uncertain where to divert his attention next. He had to keep moving. Momentarily he thought about leaving to do a patrol around Metropolis but quickly squashed that idea. With Lana lurking around that was just asking for trouble.

To this day, Lois Lane was the only person he’d felt comfortable in sharing that secret with. That should have been his first clue when he and Lana had been seeing one another. He was too blind back then...desperate for normalcy even though he wasn’t normal. Lana was never someone he could have imagined sharing his life with or his secret with. He thought back to his teen years, recalling the tantrums she’d thrown at him for everything from helping a friend to what college he wanted to go to. He could only imagine what her reaction would have been if she’d discovered Clark Kent was in reality a strange visitor from another planet.

Lois had been different. She had accepted all parts of him blindly without even realizing he and Superman were the same person. She didn’t care about labels or what others were doing. She cared about what was right and fighting for those that couldn’t fight for themselves. It was one of the many things that had made him fall head over heels in love with her from the start.

He stepped outside the barn, taking a deep breath as he took in the sun and spotted the tow truck with Lana’s cherry red F350 on the back of it with a large chunk of mud hanging on the back tires. He chuckled, watching Lana climb into the front of the tow truck. He overheard her barking orders at Glenn, “Don’t you think this changes anything!”

“Yeah, yeah,” He heard Glenn say as he cranked the truck up and began to pull out. “Only call when you need somethin, eh, doll?”

“I’m not the one that called!” Lana spat angrily.

Clark chuckled, turning his attention back to the farmhouse where Lois stood on the front porch.
Their eyes met for a moment. He wanted to go to her. He wanted to talk to her but at the same time he just couldn’t bring himself to move. Her gaze fell and then she turned away and walked back inside.

***

Martha felt lost as she stood in front of the coffee machine for the millionth time. She had spent many hours in the hospital the past few days with the smell of disinfectant, stale coffee, and beeping heart monitors all around her.

Jonathan’s surgery had gone off without a hitch, he was resting peacefully in the recovery room. The doctor had told her it would be awhile before he woke up, yet she wanted nothing more to be next to her husband. When the doctor had told Martha the good news about the surgery she had released the breath she had been holding and sighed. She heard the reassurance of his voice and the unbidden hot, salty tears trailed down her cheeks. So here she was in the surgical waiting room as the cold liquid hit her taste buds and she grimaced at the brown liquid that was being passed off as coffee.

The past few days with Jonathan in critical condition had been very exhausting even on Martha. She had sat next to him every moment she could listening to the hospital equipment beep and hum that she swore she heard them in her sleep. The nurses had told Martha to go home several times to get some rest, but she just couldn’t leave Jonathan. After she had convinced the nurses she wouldn’t leave her husband, they had put a cot in his room for her and that is where she had slept. The old hospital was nothing like home, but a home was nothing without Jonathan.

Now that the surgery had occurred she felt a little bit at ease, but still worried about her husband. As she stood in the small surgical waiting room with two other families in it she began to watch them. One of the families was a young Latino family with a little girl who looked to be about four-years-old and a boy around the age of two; the mother held the boy as the little girl colored and the father talked to the doctor. Martha wondered who the family was waiting for until she caught a few words in Spanish that it was the children’s grandmother who had suffered a heart attack just like her Jonathan. Unlike Jonathan, the grandmother wasn’t going to make it through the night. The father of these young children would lose his mother; his children would lose their grandmother. Martha’s heart ached for the young children who would likely not remember their grandmother.

Martha walked out of the waiting room trying to escape the confines of the confusion she felt. The heartache, the smell of death, and the gratitude that her husband was alive. Martha had felt many things the past few days, but gratitude had not been one of those things. Now as she felt pity for the young family and those little ones; she wondered if one day, her and Jonathan would be there to witness their own grandchildren be born. She walked down the halls aimlessly trying to figure out what to do next. She couldn’t sit in the waiting room drinking stale coffee drinking stale coffee watching more families hear bad news. It occurred to her that Clark needed to know about his father. Even though, Clark hadn’t asked about Jonathan when she had found the payphone, she dialed the farm.


When she didn’t receive an answer she left a message on the answering machine. Martha figured Clark was outside working or doing some of his Superman duties.

When she thought about it she had not heard about any Superman sightings the past couple of days. In Smallville, it was unheard of to hear about Superman most days unless it was something worldwide. Yet as parents’ of the Man of Steel, Jonathan and Martha had kept track of his sightings by subscribing to the Daily Planet even when they lived in a different state. Superman wasn’t out patrolling like usual; which meant his dad’s heart attack was eating at him more than he let on.

Martha needed to talk to her son or someone who could get through him. She knew a young lady who could help Clark see the light, who loved her son just as much as she did. Lois Lane was that woman.

***

Lois paced back and forth in the dining room not sure what to do. She wanted to talk to Clark, yet she knew he didn’t want to talk to her.

She was hurt.

Frustrated.

She needed to do something. Frustrated with Clark for hurting her, for not talking to her, for shutting her out.

He had so much on his mind, she knew that, but he was not communicating with her. How were they supposed to be in a committed relationship if they didn’t communicate? It seemed like he was something once again like a few months ago before they took that next step in their relationship.

She needed to do something to help. Suddenly it came to her; the broken tractor outside didn’t need fixing - it needed to be replaced. It had to be decades old. If Clark wouldn’t let her help pay the outstanding bills then she would buy a new tractor as a gift to his parents.

After she made a few phone calls around the tractor supply companies in Smallville she finally found a tractor similar to the one that was outside near the barn. A new tractor would benefit the Kents’ bring the farm even a little bit then it might aid in the financial strain. With the tractor ordered and set to be delivered in a couple of days, Lois felt at ease.

Lana’s truck had been towed away, finally, so Lois knew it was time for Lois to find out about Jonathan and Martha. Since Clark wouldn’t tell Lois how Jonathan was doing; Lois would go to the hospital and find out for herself. She figured Martha wouldn’t mind the company.

***

Lois pulled into the visitor parking lot of Smallville Memorial Hospital. When she left the Kent Farm she could hear Clark working on the broken tractor. She knew he could be out saving lives instead he was working on a broken tractor. Right now Clark was being as stubborn as the darn tractor. Lois was hoping that if she talked to Martha she could figure out how to talk some sense into Clark.

She walked up to the information desk where an older gray haired lady sat.

“May, I help you,” the lady asked barely looking up at Lois.

“Yes, I’m here to see my father-in-law,” Lois lied as she knew full well that she would not be able to receive the information without being related to the patient.

“Patient’s name,” she responded as she looked up at Lois.

“Jonathan Kent,” Lois stated hoping that she would not be found out since the Kent’s were so well-known in Smallville.

“Miss Lane, everyone knows who you are.. You don’t have to lie to see Mr. Kent. We know that Clark is your partner at the Daily Planet and that the two of you have been dating for a few months. Well, sorry, some of us do,” the older lady explained in a hushed tone. “I live down the road from them. He is in Room 204.”

“Thank you,” Lois replied flabbergasted on how everyone knew everyone in this small town. She could go around Metropolis without anyone knowing her business yet in Smallville within three hours she realized the tow truck company knew about her fight with Lana, the tractor supply company knew the Kents’ tractor had been broken for years, and that most of Smallville knew she had been dating Clark.

Lois walked down the hallway of the hospital with the pictures of the Chairmen’s of the Board on the walls. Every hospital was the same even though the pictures hanging, the plants, and the chairs were different. This hospital was just in a smaller town and needed a much needed remodel.

As Lois walked through the hallway looking for Room 204 she didn’t see the other woman walking around the corner. Lois fell to the ground and if it was any other time she would be angry but right now she was just embarrassed.

“I’m so- Lois,” Martha stated as she reached down for Lois’ hand. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to see you, Martha. He needs our help,” Lois pleaded with Martha as she stood up. She didn’t mean to drop the news on Clark’s mom like this especially with what was going on her husband. Lois needed to do anything possible to get through to Clark even if it meant going to his mother.

“Let’s go see Jonathan first, then we can about Clark and his other profession and why he is spending all his time working on a tractor that doesn’t work,” Martha explained as she put her hand Lois’ shoulder.

Both women walked down the hallway together side by side. They knew together that one way or another both of their men would get better with them by their side.


TBC