They were both up with the sun. And Clark knew that neither of them had slept much the night before. He’d heard her thrashing around, trying to get comfortable in the bed without much success. The noise had subsided around four in the morning, and he’d napped on the couch off and on since then.
Breakfast was uncomfortably quiet. Neither of them seemed to want to talk. Clark thought he understood Lois’ mood, but he knew she didn’t understand his.
He had to tell her before they signed the license.
He couldn’t tell her that he loved her – she couldn’t or wouldn’t return that love. To her, they were just friends and coworkers. Good friends, yes, but nothing more. She loved him – like a brother.
He had to tell her about Superman. And he had to do it before they left for City Hall.
But he didn’t know how.
She’d already told him that she didn’t want him to tell her anything life-changing before she went back to ruling the roost at the Daily Planet. She’d insisted that she didn’t want him to tell her anything truly important while she was in such a vulnerable state. She’d made it clear that he wasn’t to say anything important that he might think she wanted to hear.
That made two fairly important things he couldn’t bring up in casual conversation with her.
But that was before they’d decided to get married. Surely that changed everything. Surely she’d want to know that he was the also the guy who flew around the city – the world, really – doing good deeds and catching crooks and saving lives and stopping runaway trains and helping little old ladies across the street. He couldn’t imagine her not wanting to know.
She pushed back from the table, her scrambled eggs half-eaten and her toast untouched. As she began rattling around in her purse, he stood and cleared the dishes.
A thwack of a leather purse hitting a wooden table accompanied an exasperated sigh. “Nuts,” she muttered.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, really. I’ll need to get my birth certificate from my safe deposit box once the bank opens. I thought I had it with me.” She stood without looking at him. “I assume you already have yours.”
“It’s in my lockbox under the floorboard. I’ll get it before we leave.”
“Yeah. We should talk about setting up a joint account, too.”
He clamped down on his reaction and managed to sound calm. “No reason to if we’re going to get it annulled later. We can just keep on splitting the checks fifty-fifty.”
*****
She was glad that she was facing away from him. That way he couldn’t see the tears in the corners of her eyes forming when he used that horrible word.
Annulment.
Somehow it was worse than talking about a divorce.
Either way, her heart was pierced through and through by his offhand dismissal. She had to get control of herself and she couldn’t do it in the dining room. Not with him across the table from her.
The bathroom was her refuge. She burst through the doorway as if it were a piece of tissue paper.
She soaked a towel with her tears but managed to suppress the sobs. To hide the redness in and around her eyes, she took extra time with her makeup and her hair. She might feel like crap today, but she was going to look good.
She put on sweats to save her nice clothes for later. As she pushed through the bedroom door, Clark turned from the window and said, “Can we talk about something?”
He was going to lie to her and tell her that he loved her just to spare her feelings. He was about to perjure himself to ease her pain.
And she couldn’t let him do that. She cared too much for him.
No, she berated herself. You don’t just care for him, you love him. And you can’t tell him, either by word or deed. And you can’t let him lie to you about it.
“I don’t think so, Clark. I think we should just do some light housework or straighten the books on the shelves or wash the breakfast dishes instead.”
He froze in place and blinked at her. “Uh—” he managed. “I think this is important.”
Her tone was cool but not biting, and her volume was as low as she thought he could hear. “We talked about this already at the beginning. I don’t want you to tell me anything you think I want to hear. And I especially don’t want you to tell me something just to make me feel better so you’ll feel better. Let’s just accept this for what it is and move on.”
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then said, “This is really important to me, Lois. And I think you’ll think it’s important too, once you hear it.”
She shook her head. “No. Save it for later. Much later. But not now.”
Regret kicked her in the backside as she saw the shimmer of pain flow across his face. Then his expression cleared. “All right. We’ll do this your way.”
*****
With their gear from the club in the back of the Jeep, Lois steered toward City Hall. Clark was babbling like he was in love with his own voice and she wished he’d just shut up.
No, that was unfair. He couldn’t have been looking forward to this morning either. He was just talking because he was nervous.
“I walked across the street to Parker’s Jewelry this morning while you were at the bank and picked out a wedding set. It’s not junk stuff, but it’s not very expensive either. I hope you don’t mind.”
“No, I don’t mind.”
“I knew we’d need something for the ceremony. You can check it out and if you don’t like it we can go back and trade it for something else.”
“I’m sure it’s fine.”
“I went on-line last night and got the details for the license,” he said. “There’s no waiting period for couples over twenty-one. All we need is our birth certificates, two witnesses, and our signatures on affidavits saying that we’re not married to anyone else.”
She nodded. “Uh-huh.”
“The license itself is only twenty-five dollars. I’ll pay for it if that’s okay with you.”
She turned in front of the old building. “Sure.”
“There are two judges on duty all day today, so we shouldn’t have a problem getting in quickly.”
The Jeep slid into the parking spot and she killed the engine. “That’s fine.”
She opened her door and got out. She’d chosen one of her better pantsuits today, a soft blue-green outfit. If she couldn’t have a real wedding dress, she wouldn’t wear a dress at all.
Apparently Clark hadn’t made any more effort than she had. He wore one of his older sport coats with unmatched slacks and no tie. That was probably for the best, she thought. It would keep her from strangling him with it.
Or maybe strangling herself.
He followed her as she stalked into the building, checked the directory for the marriage license office, and marched to the elevator. There were three other couples who seemed to be heading to the same floor as they were, and their embarrassed smiles grated on her nerves. She hadn’t slept well, and had been awakened at around six o’clock by a terrible dream she couldn’t remember now. The only remnant of it was a fading fear of being wrapped up in something – probably the sheet she’d fought with as she was waking up – a something that impressed her as being something else altogether.
Clark had finally run out of chatter, and the silence in the elevator was broken only by a passionate kiss from the youngest couple riding with them. As they reached their destination and the door slid open, the couple broke the kiss, and the young woman chuckled nervously. “Sorry,” she said to the rest of them.
Another woman laughed softly. “Just save it for the end, honey, when the judge tells him he can kiss the bride.”
The man with the second woman added, “Better yet, save it for the honeymoon or you’ll be in there all day.”
Six people laughed and blushed. Clark and Lois weren’t among them.
*****
Cat nudged Jimmy’s arm. “Make sure you get a good shot of the deputy mayor when the clerk starts talking about specific numbers. I don’t think he’s on board with the street maintenance part of the budget.”
“You don’t have to bug me. I got it.”
She turned and sighed. “Look, Jim, I know this isn’t the kind of story you used to get when Clark and Lois were reporting, but you’re still a professional. What you do impacts me and vice versa, so let’s not sink this provisional partnership before it gets started.”
Jimmy sighed back. “It’s not you, Cat, honest. It’s – well, the news room isn’t a happy place like it used to be.”
“I know. Everything’s new, nothing’s in the same place, the ladies’ room looks more like a locker room in some very toney gym, and I still can’t get used to the ramp where the steps used to be. I nearly tripped on it yesterday morning.”
“It’s not that. I mean, it’s not just all that, and I haven’t seen the ladies’ room. The men’s room looks like something on a spaceship. The whole thing is – well, even the Chief doesn’t smile as much as he used to, and when he does, it’s not as bright. People don’t talk to each other about personal stuff like they used to, and when they do they don’t laugh as much. Now that CK’s gone, it’s like someone cut the heart out of the place.”
“What about Lois?” Cat whispered.
Jimmy glanced at her and shrugged. “I miss her too. She’d yell at me and gripe a lot, but she always pushed me to be better. Perry’s the only one who does that now, and he doesn’t do it as often as he did. Last week I heard Myerson tell Eduardo that he was thinking about putting his résumé into circulation.” He shook his head. “I’m just not happy at the Planet anymore, and I think a lot of people feel the same way.”
She would have answered – she wanted to answer – but her attention was diverted when the elevator door at the far end of the hall opened. Three smiling couples got off, looked at the list of departments on the wall, and turned to walk hand-in-hand toward the Justice of the Peace’s office.
The fourth couple wasn’t smiling. Nor were they holding hands. They both looked for all the world that on the whole they’d rather be in Philadelphia, feeding each other to the crocodiles at the city zoo.
Then she recognized their faces.
No – it couldn’t be!
It was.
Cat grabbed Jimmy’s arm and yanked him along with her. “Emergency! Come with me right now!”
“What? Where are we—”
“Clark and Lois are getting married!”
She felt him stumble for a moment but she yanked him back to his feet and kept pulling. Something was wrong, badly wrong, she just knew it. And somebody had to fix it.
*****
Clark was far too aware that he and Lois didn’t fit with the other three couples walking with them. He could have reached out and taken her hand in his, but was almost afraid that she’d jerk it away from him and throw a punch at his head. It was like walking beside an angry porcupine.
No – not angry. Not really sad, either, or scared or frustrated or – he didn’t know how she felt. And that put him on edge. They hadn’t always gotten along in the past, but he’d always known how she felt. He could read her emotional state better than he’d ever read anyone else’s, even his parents’.
Except now.
All he could tell was that she was not happy. Not that he blamed her, of course – if he’d been coerced into marrying a woman he loved like a sister but not like a lover, he’d be less than thrilled too. And he knew it wasn’t her fault. It was his.
He was concerned at how his parents would react when they found out. But Lois’ parents? Judging by what he’d seen of her relationship with her family, someone might need a surgeon before that conversation was done.
Without his really realizing it, they’d drifted to the rear of the group headed for the judge’s chambers. He glanced at Lois again, but she was still staring straight ahead, striding unevenly as if approaching a firing squad. Her face had paled and her mouth was pressed into a thin line on her face.
She looked like she’d rather die than marry him.
*****
Out of the corner of her eye, Lois saw Clark nod to the others in their accidental wedding party and gesture for them to go ahead. The oldest of the other three women smiled at Lois for a moment, then tilted her head as her smile faded into apparent concern. The woman leaned toward Lois as if she were about to say something, but Lois took a half-step backward and said, “Clark, is the fee in cash or do they take plastic?”
Clark’s head jerked toward her and he blinked in surprise, then said, “I think they prefer cash or a check. I have enough in bills in my wallet.”
“Good.” Lois slid another six inches away from Clark as the woman who’d almost spoken to her gave her a look of concern. Then she glanced over Lois’ shoulder for a moment and almost smiled.
As Lois wondered what that was about, the young couple who’d kissed so enthusiastically on the elevator opened the license clerk’s door and giggled into the office. At almost the same moment, Lois felt a tug on her elbow.
Clark’s backing out, she thought with something approaching relief, then realized that the touch was on the elbow on the other side from where he waited. Someone else was there.
She turned to see Cat and Jimmy standing there, displaying nervous postures and obviously fake smiles. “Lois!” Cat called out. “Congratulations, girl! You finally got him!”
Lois tried for a fake smile of her own. “Yeah, he chased me until I caught him.”
Jimmy reached out to shake her hand. “I’d offer my congratulations, too, but you’re supposed to tell the bride ‘Best wishes.’ So – best wishes, Lois.”
Cat took Lois’ arm in hers and gently guided her away from the office door. “Hey, Jim, why don’t you try to calm the groom down? I want some girl time with the bride.”
“Sure, Cat. Just be careful how much you tell her.”
*****
Cat knew something was terribly wrong when Lois didn’t respond to Jim’s deprecating comment. She pulled the reluctant bride ten feet up the hall and quietly said, “Come on, Lois, talk to me. You really don’t want to be here, so why are you here?”
Lois’ eyes flashed with a hint of the old fire. “Maybe I have to get married, Cat. Ever think of that?”
Cat shook her head. “Any other man, I might believe that, but Clark wouldn’t kiss your cheek unless he knew you’d be happy about it. And he for sure wouldn’t knock you up for any amount of money or influence unless you were already married. So no, I don’t believe there’s a chance in Gotham that you’re pregnant.”
Lois sighed. “It’s – complicated.”
“Complicated like in page three, line fourteen?”
Cat watched Lois’ eyes narrow in confusion, then suddenly flare in comprehension. “What do you know—”
“Easy, Lois. Perry recruited me to give him the code phrase. And before you ask, I have no idea what any of them mean. So don’t tell me about that. Just tell me why you’re breaking his heart.”
“Who says I’m—”
“Shh!” Cat pulled Lois closer to the marble wall. “That man has loved you since he met you. Not one woman he’s met since then has even tempted him, not even me, and I don’t need to tell you about that shot to my ego. He’s about to marry his dream girl, but instead of floating among the clouds he looks like he’s about to get lynched. So don’t try to lie to me.”
Lois glared at the other woman for a long moment, then hissed, “What about my heart? You think I look like I’m enjoying this? We’re really getting married because we have to!”
“I told you not to lie—”
“It’s for the act! We’re locked out of a lot of family venues if we’re just living together! We have to earn a living and we can’t do it without the marriage license! Now do you understand?”
Cat took a slow breath and let it out just as slowly. “Yes. I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions.”
“It’s okay. I probably would have done the same thing if our places were switched.”
“No,” said Cat. “You’d scratch my eyes out for looking at Clark the way you’d like to look at him. And the only jumping you’d do would be on my head with both feet.”
Lois returned Cat’s smile. “You’re right. So you’d best keep away from him, even after the annulment goes through.”
“Annulment, huh?” Cat’s head tipped to one side and frowned. “Is Clark on board with that?”
Lois looked away from her and in the general direction of the judge’s door. “He brought it up just this morning while we were cleaning up after breakfast. This marriage will change our legal status, but that’s all that will change.”
“Huh. You don’t exactly sound like you’re thrilled with that situation.”
Lois looked back to Cat. “I’m not. Not one bit. And if you tell him that I really will clobber you.”
Cat shook her head and smiled. “You’re a good, honest woman, Lois. A bit stupid sometimes, but still good and honest.” Before Lois could ask what that remark meant, Cat nodded toward Clark and Jimmy. “I think the clerk is almost ready for you two.”
*****
Jimmy waved Clark to the wall opposite Cat and Lois and far enough from them to mask their conversation. For several long breaths, they just stared at each other, then Jimmy put his hands on his hips and quietly demanded, “CK, what’s going on? If you’re marrying Lois, why do you look like someone just drowned your favorite kitten? You should be deliriously happy.”
Clark glanced at Lois and shook his head. “I really wish I could explain it, Jimmy, but I can’t. It doesn’t involve just me and Lois.”
Jimmy sighed and shuffled his feet. “You do realize that what you just said makes no sense at all, don’t you? Especially since I know you don’t believe in open marriage.”
“Yes. And I wish I could make some sense out of it.”
“Okay. I think you’re nuts – I think you’re both nuts – but I’m going to support you because you’re both good friends. You got witnesses yet?”
“Ah, no, I think we were just going to grab another one of the couples getting married and enlist them.”
“Absolutely not! I volunteer Cat and myself to be your witnesses. You just tell us where to stand and where to write down our names. And I want pictures before you leave, too. Trust me, you’ll want them later on. Hey, you have a ring for her, don’t you?”
Clark nodded. “Of course I do. I’m not that big an idiot.”
Jimmy gave him a sideways glare. “Up to about ten minutes ago I would have agreed with you.”
“Hey, I – wait, here come the ladies. You can tell Cat what she’s volunteered for.”
“I heard that, guys, even if I didn’t understand it. Jimmy, what did I volunteer for?”
Jimmy braced himself as if expecting an explosion from her. “You and I are going to be their witnesses and I’m going to take pictures.”
Instead of becoming angry, the tall redhead grinned to beat the band. “That’s a wonderful idea! Assuming it’s okay with Lois, of course.”
Lois nodded. “I think it’s wonderful too.”
“Then it’s settled! How many rolls of film do you have?”
“We’re almost in the twenty-first century, Cat. No film. It’s a new digital model with a four-gig memory card, 1.2 meg resolution, computerized auto-focus, and a three-inch viewscreen. So it won’t matter if you flinch, the shot will still be one of my best ever.”
“Great! Hey, do you guys mind if we put this in the Entertainment section? With a shot of the two of you together, of course.”
Whatever Cat had said to Lois, it appeared to have relieved some of the tension. She and Clark glanced at each other for a moment and then nodded together. “No problem,” they said in unison.
Cat and Jimmy exchanged a quick look, then Jimmy moved to Clark’s side. “I’m with you, CK. Until you guys kiss, of course.”
*****
The bored clerk took down their information without saying anything other than the minimum number of words required to gather the information. He had both of them sign the license register, then the license itself. “Make sure the judge signs it or you won’t be legally married. Twenty-five dollars even.”
Clark nodded and handed him the cash. He rang it up, attached the receipt to the license with a paper clip, and pushed it back at them. “Next,” he called out.
Clark was surprised as Lois took his hand as they entered the judge’s office. He leaned down and whispered, “Feeling better?”
She gave him a small smile and nodded. “Yes, I am. You?”
“I am if you are.”
Her gaze turned thoughtful. “Maybe Cat was right after all.”
“Right about what?”
“Tell you later. It’s time to get married.”
Her light tone and open expression surprised him again. Maybe she didn’t hate the idea of being his wife as much as he’d feared, even if it was in name only. Or maybe she was flipping from one emotional extreme to the other because she was bipolar and had never told him about it.
Whatever. It was too late to worry about it now.
If someone had asked him about the ceremony later, he couldn’t have said much because it went by too fast for him to register it. He was just glad that Lois was smiling and that Cat and Jimmy seemed cautiously happy.
The part he remembered best was when Lois put her arms around his neck and kissed him. It was more than a friend kiss or a sister kiss but a bit less than a lover’s kiss. Still, any lip-to-lip contact with Lois made him smile. And it was long enough for Jimmy to get three different angles.
Jimmy shook his hand, then waited for Cat to unwrap herself from Lois. It was a day of surprises for Clark, this time because Lois seemed to welcome the contact with the other woman. Something good seemed to have happened between them in the hallway.
Jimmy gently shook Lois’ hand as Cat coyly smiled at him. “Congratulations, Clark. You’ve done a better thing than you think you have.”
“Thanks, Cat. I think.”
She laughed and encircled his neck with her long arms. With her mouth beside his ear, she whispered, “Give her time and space. She’ll be fine. Just don’t jump into anything without talking with her. And be sure to listen close when she finally does talk to you.”
“O-kay.” Before he could puzzle out what she meant, she released him at almost super-speed and pulled him toward Lois. Jimmy lifted his camera and called out, “Okay, you two, say ‘wedding night’.”
There were shots of Lois with Cat, Clark with Jimmy, and one with all four, taken by the bride from the next pair to wed. Jimmy even got more shots of Clark and Lois kissing.
When Clark saw the bride-and-groom pictures in the camera’s viewscreen, he knew he looked like he’d been clocked with a two-by-four. But he wasn’t sure what Lois was thinking about.
Surely she wasn’t thinking about – no, of course not. They were just friends, at least as far as she was concerned. He couldn’t possibly – honeymoon – with her. Aside from the fact that he feelings for him didn’t run that deep, she still didn’t know he was Superman. And that was a bridge he was absolutely unwilling to cross.
Although the shots of them kissing didn’t convey friendship as clearly as Clark had expected it would.
And somehow, in all the excitement and bustle, he never asked Lois what she and Cat had discussed in the hallway outside the judge’s office.
*****
He unlocked the apartment door and nodded for her to enter first. She stood still, played with her fingers for a long moment as if she were waiting for him to say or do something, then she said, “Thank you.”
No pressure, he told himself. Not on Lois, anyway. Don’t press her about anything.
She waited beside the door until he entered, then she locked up behind him. “You’re not still putting a key under the planter outside, are you?”
“No, you finally broke me of that old Kansas habit. Now I just hang it on a nail above the door.”
Lois looked shocked for half a second, then she laughed nervously. “Not bad for an adlib. Remember it so we can use it in one of the routines. It might get a chuckle or two.”
He grinned back. “Sounds good to me. I know it’s a little early for dinner, but we didn’t get lunch. Want me to cook something?”
She shook her head. “I think a turkey sandwich would work for me. Is there any tea made?”
“If not, I can make some in a jiffy.”
“I recommend you use a tea pitcher instead. Peanut butter-flavored tea hasn’t made it this far east yet.”
It was a good line, so he chuckled at it. But her expression didn’t match her words. As he thought about it, her tone of voice didn’t either. She looked, sounded, and behaved as if she were nervous about something.
She had to be worried about the wedding night. Or, rather, she had to be worried that he expected there would be traditional nuptial activities – sex – on their wedding night, despite what the discussions they’d already had on the subject.
He opened the refrigerator and let the cool air wash over him. Oh, if it were only true about tonight’s activities.
But it couldn’t be true. Not as long as Superman stood between them like the Colossus of Rhodes, staring Clark down every time his mind started down the sex path.
Pushing those thoughts aside, he made a turkey sandwich for each of them and poured out the last of the tea. He pulled down his glasses and checked his pantry – sure enough, he’d need to go shopping tomorrow. They were low on bread, tea, and sugar, along with some of the spices he liked to use and several staples.
He walked back into the dining room and set Lois’ plate and glass down with a small flourish, then went back for his dinner. Her tired-sounding “Thanks, Clark,” followed him.
“It’s no trouble. I’ll have to go shopping tomorrow morning before lunch. We’re out of or low on a bunch of stuff.”
She took a drink and set her glass down hard, which seemed to surprise both of them. “Sorry,” she sighed. “I – guess I’m a little nervous about tonight.”
He swallowed the bite he’d just taken and frowned. “Why?”
“Well – I – I know we said no – uh – no – physical contact once we’re married – but I thought – I mean – I know guys expect that kind of thing on the wedding night – and I thought you might—”
“No. I don’t.”
Her shocked look was back, along with an open mouth and a pale face as if she hadn’t seen the sun in months.
“Look, Lois, what I mean is that I don’t want you to feel pressured into my – our – into doing something you’ll regret later. I haven’t forgotten that this is primarily an undercover assignment.”
She took a sharp, shallow breath. “No, you – of course. You’re right, of course.” She stood abruptly. “I’m sorry, the sandwich is good but I’m not hungry now and do you want the bed tonight?”
Her gaze wasn’t on him. She was looking past him, probably at the floorboards near the front door. “No,” he replied softly. “You take the bed. Let me know when you’re done in the bathroom so I can brush my teeth.”
One sharp nod and she stumbled toward the bedroom. The door closed behind her with a solid click, and he heard the sounds of a wounded woman changing clothes.
He’d hurt her. How, he didn’t know, but he had. Maybe he could find out tomorrow.
Or he could just go find some Kryptonite to swallow. It might make him feel better.
*****
It was the ultimate rejection.
Clark had to have known what she’d offered him. There was no way he could have missed it. And he’d turned her down. A guy just doesn’t turn down a chance to climb in the sack with a woman – any woman – unless she utterly disgusts him.
But that kiss—
He’d fooled her with that kiss. She believed that it had started his train of thought down the track she’d wanted – or, at least, the one she thought she’d wanted – to travel with him. She would have given ten-to-one odds that he’d shyly and reluctantly agree to lie down beside her.
It had never entered her mind that he’d flatly refuse her suggestion.
And he hadn’t even let her tell him that she was more than somewhat in favor of the idea. He’d derailed her without leaving her any hope at all that he’d change his mind.
Maybe – maybe she didn’t disgust him. Maybe he just wanted to have sex with a woman he really loved. Surely there weren’t very many women in his past. If he’d resisted Cat Grant so determinedly, it was probable that he’d strictly limited his collection of bed partners.
That, at least, told her that he had some discernment and taste.
She thought about the kiss again. He certainly wasn’t gay. She’d kissed a couple of gay men in the past, and while her gaydar wasn’t always spot on, the kiss always gave them away. Kissing a gay man had always been like she’d imagined it would be to kiss Lucy passionately. That thought always made her want to gargle with battery acid afterward.
Clark’s kiss hadn’t been anything like that.
Yet he’d pushed her away.
If she didn’t disgust him, didn’t make him want to follow Lex to the street from his balcony in Lex Tower, then the only other possibility was that he simply didn’t love her.
Which meant that he had lied that day in the park.
Which also meant that he’d been about to lie to her right after they’d left the Planet, when they’d sat on his couch and she’d stopped him from telling her – something. Something that had to have been “I love you.”
What else could he have been trying to say?
It didn’t matter now. They were married in name only. They were husband and wife for the sake of the investigation. And as soon as they broke the story, she could let him go find a real wife. She’d take the legal blame, if there was any. Anything he told the judge would be fine with her. She wouldn’t argue or fight or get in his way at all.
Whatever it took to end this federal disaster of a marriage.
She finished changing and walked into the bathroom. The mirror stared back at her accusingly.
She could almost hear the word ‘Coward’ coming out of the glass.
