Yikes - that was pretty gruesome, what they did to Gino! I'm glad that Lois found him, but ouch. I'm not sure about the rating - maybe you should make it PG-13 just in case? But then again, I'm super squeamish and more of a fluffy bunnies and kittens kind of person, so I'm not sure how valid my opinion is
As for your other question - I've always gone with Hobbs. I feel like I checked that one time way back when for a story I was writing. Can't remember the script it was in, though.
I like that you brought Gino back later on in the story. Glad he's okay - or as okay as he could be - and still helping Lois. I like the line where you said Lois could understand him if she touched him.
“I remembered hearing something about an uptick in missing teenagers whose parents had died when Trisha mentioned Bev’s and Sharon’s caretakers dying.”
Lois nodded. “The police went at the problem from the wrong direction. The girls weren’t running away because their families had died. Their families were dying because someone wanted those teenagers to disappear.”
“I bears an eerie resemblance to our celebrity murder victims, too, don’t you think.”
The cab pulled up in front of the police station and after paying the cabbie, Lois and Clark got out. Clark motioned for Lois to go ahead of him and placed his hand on the small of her back and ushered her through the front door. Lois smiled at him.
“And the man in the turban?”
Lois stopped at the front desk and her expression darkened. “Klaus Mensa, or as his colleagues started to call him, Fat Head. Inspector Henderson, please,” Lois requested from the desk clerk.
Compliments on your A-plot. I like how you've woven Klaus Mensa, Lois's father, Lois's powers, the murders, even some of the sub-plots from the show (like the robotic boxers) into this story. I don't have a talent for A-plots at all, so I really give credit to the people who can pull them off! I know the amount of time and planning that goes into trying to do that successfully!
Sorry I've been a bit behind here - I see that you have part 12 up as well! Off to read!
Tracey
