TOC ~
Part 10
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Alt-Metropolis – May 1987
“Secrets”
~ - ~
“Thank you, Detective.”
Lois looked around the quad. After assuring herself that she’d interviewed everyone that she needed to, she tucked her notepad into her purse and started to walk toward the university newspaper office. Suddenly, a sense of unease swept over her and her instincts prickled. After working for the Met-U Press and the Daily Planet for three years, she knew to trust her instincts for a story. Lois stopped walking abruptly, causing another young woman to bump into her. The woman grabbed her arm reflexively to keep her balance and Lois was hit with a torrent of emotions and images.
Lois was so shocked by what she had received, that it took her a moment to recover. Okay, so Debbie hadn’t leapt from her dorm room window to commit suicide then, but how to prove it without giving away her secret?
The young woman walked toward a group of nearby students, her backpack slung over one shoulder. How could Lois expose her crime while remaining safely anonymous?
‘This is how Clark feels,’ Lois thought to herself. Lois knew that he occasionally used his abilities to help without exposing his secret. But Lois had already spoken with the police and most of the eyewitnesses, so she wasn’t sure that an excuse of ‘overhearing something’ would work.
Lois looked at the perpetrator and felt an urgency to act as the woman pulled a lighter from her pocket. She must be thinking of destroying the evidence. Lois weighed her options. She could follow the woman, befriend her, or sneak into her room, but Lois didn’t think the evidence would last that long. As the ambulance pulled away and the police started packing up, she realized that unless she wanted to let a murderess walk, she needed to act now.
But, whom could she trust? Her eyes rested on the dour-faced Detective Henderson. She’d dealt with him before and she knew he was a good man. Could she do this without revealing herself? Was her secret worth it?
As the culprit started edging away toward a dark grove of trees, Lois threaded her way through the packs of grieving college students toward Henderson and his partner. She almost turned around as memories of military experiments rose in her minds’ eye. The ever-present phrase, “dissect you like a frog” reverberated in her head, but she steeled her resolve and tapped Henderson on the shoulder.
“Detective, can I have a word?”
“Lane. I thought I answered all of your questions already.”
Henderson’s partner, Kowalsky, gave her arm a back-handed tap and chimed in. “Suicide jumper, note found, case closed. Now beat it, Lane. I want to get home to catch the last of the game.”
Lois ignored Kowalsky and grabbed Henderson’s coat as he turned to leave. “What if I said I have evidence that this wasn’t a suicide?”
Kowalsky snorted. “Yeah? Well, I searched that room and the only evidence I found was a suicide note that said I get to go home now.”
Lois ignored him again. “Come on, Detective. It won’t take long.”
Henderson’s pursed his lips and then nodded. His partner groaned, but Henderson shut him down. “Can it, Kowalsky, or I’ll insist on finishing the Barrows casework before we leave tonight.”
Henderson followed Lois until they were out of earshot. Lois tipped her head in the direction of one of the groups of students. “See the brunette in the blue sweater with the Met-U backpack, the one walking past Joe Malloy? She pushed Deb from the window and murdered her.”
Henderson shook his head. “I already talked with her.” Henderson flipped open his notebook. “Annette Westman. She was in the library at the time of death.”
“She lied. She has a draft of the suicide note and Deb’s engagement ring – a princess cut diamond lined with sapphires – in her pack. There’s also a spare key to Deb’s room in the front pocket of her jeans, the little coin one on the right.”
Henderson’s eyebrows lifted. “Motive?
“Jealousy and revenge. I don’t have the specifics.”
“And you came by this information, how?”
Lois’s mind raced. “One of Deb’s sorority sisters saw Annette put the items in her pack and told me.”
“Which one?”
Lois pointed and Henderson shook his head. “I already interviewed that girl. Try again.”
“I overheard Annette talking to herself.” Lois kept her expression passive, but her heart raced.
“That one was definitely a better story. Now, how about the truth?”
Lois stared at him for a moment. “I just know. What will it hurt to check it out?”
“It’s starting to sound like you’re involved, Lane. How about this for a story: You and Ms. Westman are friends and wanted the engagement ring for yourselves. You wrote the note together, pushed Ms. Shumaker from her dorm room, and now you’ve had a change of heart. I’ve seen criminals turn on their partners before. Did you plant the evidence on your partner?”
The quirk in the Detective’s lips made Lois hope he didn’t really believe she was involved, that he was just giving her a hard time for wasting his, but it was clear that he wasn’t going to bend if she didn’t give him something. Lois turned to look at the perpetrator; Annette was almost to the edge of the quad. All right, she’d give him the truth. “Would you believe I’m psychic?”
Henderson’s eyebrows lifted minutely. “Uh-huh. And how did you come across this information? Are you a mind reader from a distance?”
“Earlier, Annette and I accidentally collided and she grabbed my hand to keep her balance. That’s when I saw and felt the things I told you.”
“I’ve been working homicide for too long to believe it, but I’ll play along, Lane. Okay, what do you get when you read me?”
Lois stared at him for a moment and then offered her hand. Henderson looked at her askance. “Without touch, I only get random strong emotions,” she explained. Henderson took her hand.
“Besides the amusement you feel at me losing my mind, you are worried about someone you love and some part of your body is giving you a twinge of pain right now.”
“Huh. My dad is sick. I pulled my back a few days ago helping him.” Henderson narrowed his eyes at her. “Just emotions from a distance?”
“Strong emotions. Sometimes I get random thoughts by accident.” Lois pointed at his partner. “Like earlier when Kowalsky’s tapped my arm I felt that he’s cheating at something, cards maybe, and is nervous you’ll realize it. As a side note, it doesn’t take psychic abilities to see that Kowalsky wouldn't recognize evidence if it appeared by magic in the form of a jelly doughnut.”
Henderson stared at her, his lips quirking up at the jab at his partner. “Well. That sounds eerily accurate. Okay, Lane. You've been a pretty straight shooter until now and I’ve had sketchier tips.” He tilted his head toward the milling crowd. “Let’s go check it out.”
They walked back to the police cruiser and Henderson nodded to his partner to follow. Kowalsky grumbled, but accompanied Henderson while Lois trailed behind. Annette fumbled her lighter, dropping it into the grass when Henderson called her name.
“Ms. Westman, I’ve been informed that you may have evidence regarding the death of Debbie Shumaker in your pack. Will you consent to a search?”
Annette turned around and clutched her pack to her, her eyes wide. “That’s ridiculous. What evidence?”
“A copy of the suicide note, Ms. Shumaker’s engagement ring, and a key to her dorm room. Do you consent?”
Annette froze, a half-smile on her lips, and then suddenly she bolted. Kowalsky shouted, “stop!” and awkwardly sprang after her, but ended up sprawled face-first in the grass as Annette leapt past him. Lois was ready with an outstretched leg and Annette stumbled and went down. After a brief struggle, Kowalsky pinned her and Henderson pulled three drafts of the suicide note and an engagement ring from her pack.
Henderson stared at the items and then glanced back at Lois in speculation. “Kowalsky, please search her for a key. Front coin pocket of her jeans on the right.”
Kowalsky pulled a small, silver key from Annette’s right front pocket. “Room 306. It’s the room of the deceased, all right. Annette Westman, you have the right to remain silent…”
Henderson met Lois’s eyes and offered his hand in thanks.
Lois took it and stared at the detective for a moment and then smiled as relief poured into her. Henderson was going to keep her secret. She had never believed that she would be able to entrust her secret with anyone, but here was a police detective whom she could trust. Although he could destroy her career by blabbing her secret, she knew he would not. Pleased, Lois pulled her notepad from her bag to get some additional quotes. She couldn’t wait to write up her story.
~ - ~
Alt-Metropolis – July 10, 1997
~ - ~
Clark stood like stone at the door, staring as if the wood could calm his racing heart. But the undulations in the wood grain remained silent and refused to give him courage. He finally shook his head at his own foolish thoughts and raised his fist to knock. Lois opened the door first, a bemused, knowing smile tugged at her mouth as she stepped back and invited him inside.
He took a few hesitant steps into her apartment and then stood there feeling lost as to what to do next. A frantic, internal battle raged in his mind. Clark kept willing his thoughts to stillness, imagining a blank wall, but each time he succeeded, another thought or memory, one he did not want Lois to know, would pop into his awareness.
Before he could get his thoughts off the internal hamster wheel, Lois shoved a roll of aluminum foil under his nose. The randomness of the act shattered his circular thoughts enough for him to look a question at her. Lois laughed.
“Trust me. It’s weird, but it’ll help. Make a helmet out of foil. It will block our thoughts from each other and give you some privacy until you have learned some control.”
Clark took the foil and within a heartbeat, fashioned a football helmet. He set it on his head.
“How’s that?”
Lois grinned. “Elaborate, but effective.”
She set her own foil skullcap on her head and Clark saw her shoulders relax.
“How does it work?” he asked.
“Somehow, the foil blocks the sending and receiving. Once you’ve gotten the hang of it, just imagining it there will protect you from wayward thoughts coming in or going out. Eventually, it’ll become second nature, like controlling your super hearing or strength.”
He trusted her and as soon as he stopped trying to control his thoughts, they calmed down. She gestured toward the couch and they both took a seat next to one another.
“Well, I’m sure you’ve got a lot of questions,” Lois offered.
“That’s putting it mildly,” Clark grinned.
“Ask. I’ll answer if I can.”
Since their connection had been revealed, he hadn’t been able to stop reviewing his life in view of this new information. Time and again, whenever he’d felt overwhelmed with loneliness or fear, the feeling of reassurance, companionship, or support would wash over him. To know that it was a living, breathing person, *this* woman, made him feel connected in a way he hadn’t since his parents had died. Clark searched his mind for a place to start and his first major rescue popped into his head.
“The train derailment when I was sixteen, you helped me know how to lever the car out of the water, didn’t you?”
Surprised at his question, she nodded.
“How did you know what to do?”
“I, uh, spent a lot of time in the army snooping. I often watched the special ops training sessions, especially those they didn’t want anyone to see. I learned some useful skills.”
The silence deepened once more before Clark spoke again. “Thank you, Lois. I don’t know what I did to deserve your help, but thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Clark.”
“How… do you know how this works?”
“Well, there’s my theory and then there’s the science. My personal theory is that Kryptonians are telepathic. It’s the only explanation that makes sense to me. A lot of people with so-called psychic abilities were tested against me, but I haven’t experienced anything with anyone that compares to you.”
“Tested?”
~
Lois hesitated briefly. Keeping her past a secret was an ingrained habit and she was loath to tell him the most painful aspects of her life. However, she’d also been waiting years to share everything with Clark. There really was no reason to hold back now.
“When I was eleven, my mother and sister died in a car accident. I told you that before. What I didn’t tell you was that my father … he hadn’t been living with us for a couple of years, but he came for me. He knew of my abilities and wanted to study the feasibility of using psychics in the military, so he enlisted me into a special army division. They called it Mental Espionage and Psychic Warfare, or MEPWar.” At Clark’s sympathetic look, she grimaced. “No. The lab rat years were not pleasant.”
“Oh, Lois. I’m sorry.”
She smiled sadly and looked away. “So, the science. People feel and think constantly. What the scientists in MEPWar discovered was that human thoughts generate a measurable, high frequency energy wave. These thought waves are around us all the time, but most people learn to filter them as babies when the synapses and neural pathways become more defined.”
“So that’s the ‘sending’. As for the mechanism of ‘receiving,’ that was still a matter of debate. My father thought that it was a function of the mind as a separate, spiritual ability; Mensa thought it a physical function of my Amygdala where emotions, especially fear, are housed. Brain scans showed that the shape of my amygdala differs slightly from other people, so he assumed that was the source of my ability.”
“My experience is that I not only intercepted the thought waves of the people around me, I learned to interpret them. My mother called it a gift, my father a defect. Mensa thought it an evolutionary genetic mutation. He wanted to experiment, to…to operate, so he could figure out how to replicate the change in others. When I realized they wanted to cut me open, that my father wasn’t going to protect me, that’s when I knew I had to get out.”
“You must have been terrified. My dad was so afraid that the government would come and get me if they knew what I could do. He told me that they would dissect me …”
“… like a frog,” Lois finished.
The old fear of dissection hung between them. Her luminous gaze connected to his horrified stare and she felt a shiver run up her spine. “Without knowing it, you helped me. When I felt your joy at learning to fly, I knew I could escape. I started investigating laws and regulations. I snuck into Mensa’s office and began gathering the evidence I needed before taking it to the authorities. After exposing them, the army didn’t have any option but to shut the program down.”
The expression on Clark’s face was filled with awe. She knew that learning to adapt to his burgeoning powers had been a lot to deal with, but he’d had the supportive memories of his parents and, unknown to him, her help.
“Learning to deal with super hearing and x-ray vision as a kid was difficult enough. I don’t think I could have handled knowing everyone’s thoughts.”
“Being a child in Metropolis was hard. There are so many people and before I started to filter, I heard and saw everything from everyone that I met. Once my mother realized what was wrong, she did her best to shield me until I started to grow out of it. My sister helped, too. Lucy was so innocent that her thoughts were like a breath of fresh air, so I spent as much time with her as I could. If not for my mother and Lucy, I think I would have gone crazy.”
Lois chuckled. “My sister Lucy always said I knew things simply from sheer force of will.”
Clark tipped his head back and laughed at that. “That I can believe.”
“My childhood wasn’t all bad. I had you when things got rough. Through you, I could escape to the quiet countryside when things were overwhelming at home. I rode the tractor with you and your dad. Or helped you and your mom weed the vegetable garden. I’m as glad as you are that they found you. I learned from their love and acceptance that people weren’t all bad. Without that, I think I would have given up on humanity.”
“You’ve been alone since your mother and sister died, haven’t you?” he asked. She could hear the empathy and curiosity in his voice.
“Yes, and no. Not completely. I had a friend.”
“Star. I knew that you two had been roommates for a few years. I interviewed her when I decided to look for you. It sounds like she was the last person you talked with before leaving for the Congo.”
“She knew about my abilities. It was good to have a girlfriend that understood.” Lois decided not to tell Clark when or where she had met Star. Deciding to tell Clark everything about herself did not extend to sharing Star’s secrets. Lois would ask her for permission when this was all over.
“Everyone else I kept at arms length.” Lois refocused on Clark “Although I tried, I could never completely shut you out.”
Clark squirmed under her intense gaze. He wondered again what she knew about him. Did she know every mistake he’d ever made? Every torrid teenage fantasy, every thought he’d had about not just the other Lois, but her as well? He was relieved when she continued her explanation and cut through his swirling, panicky thoughts.
“I was glad you stayed with me, though. The control you learned as each new ability appeared helped me, too. By the time I got out of the military, I had learned to shield myself from the thoughts of others. For a while, I closed myself off to everyone just because I could, but I’ve always had an insatiable curiosity. Also, I had a strong sense of justice. As I time went on, I began to hate closed doors, especially those put in place by the powerful and greedy, so I started to use my abilities in my investigations.”
“I know there is a privacy line I shouldn’t cross. Sometimes I walk really close to that line and I still make mistakes. I tried to be selective about reading people during my gunrunning investigation and I missed things I should have seen coming. After I got caught by Lex Luthor,” she paused and shuddered, “I learned what depravity really looked like.” She chuckled morosely. “After Luthor, the rest of humanity started to look almost angelic in their imperfections.”
~
The atmosphere was heavy with her revelation. He’d read her articles about Lex Luthor in the Daily Planet archives. He’d also had a chance to ask questions of Perry, Cat, and James. Lois had removed one of the single biggest threats to Clark’s life by bringing him down.
“Thank you, Lois.”
“You’re welcome,” she smiled. “For what?”
“For putting Luthor in jail. You very likely saved my life.”
“Luthor had the Kryptonite. I knew that, but didn’t know how to get it away from him without tipping him off.”
Clark nodded. “After the mayoral debates between Perry and Tempus, it was common knowledge that Kryptonite could hurt me. Just a few weeks after my ‘debut’ as Superman, I figured out that Luthor was orchestrating a series of tests for me. I had figured that Luthor was dirty, then, but I didn’t know just how dirty.”
Clark chuckled. “I naively confronted Luthor and started a yearlong attempt to gather evidence while doing my best to outwit him, all the while trying to keep myself safe. That all ended a few days before I left for the other dimension when Luthor tried to kill me using Kryptonite bullets.”
His investigation, hampered by fear, had gone nowhere. He’d been a coward, but Lois? Lois had put everything on the line and brought him down. He’d be forever grateful that Luthor had failed to kill Lois as well.
“I didn’t know it was you, but when you went missing in the Congo, I felt it. I was in Malaysia on the trail of some human traffickers and I suddenly felt cut adrift. Lost. It took me twice as long as it should have to wrap up that investigation and then I went back to Smallville.”
“Back to Lana.”
Clark didn't’ miss the flat tone in her voice. He shook his head and smiled wryly at himself. “Stupid, huh? I felt so lost that even Lana’s brand of love was better than the emptiness I felt. I craved that connection with you and when I couldn’t find it…” he trailed off. “Why didn’t you ever contact me?”
“I never knew your last name. I also figured that if you wanted to meet me you would have just flown to Metropolis. Besides, by the time I got out of the military and had learned control, I craved isolation.”
“That sounds lonely.”
“Yes, and no. The emotional distance felt … safe, especially with you. By the time I had the know-how to find you I decided not to try. I think I was afraid…”
“Afraid? Of me?”
“Not of you specifically, but of letting someone get inside my barriers.” Lois chuckled and rolled her eyes. “I saw enough psychologists growing up to know how conflicted I was, how strange it felt to want an emotional intimacy with someone and at the same time want to keep everyone out. I read a lot of books trying to figure out if I was psychotic or just a coward.”
“Lois, you are the most emotionally mature person I’ve ever met. My whole life I’ve guarded myself, never letting anyone get close for fear of being discovered. Sometimes I don’t even know what I’m feeling. You? You are so articulate and self-aware. It’s hard for me to believe you’d be afraid of anything.”
Lois shrugged. “Remember how violated you felt when you thought I’d been reading your mind? As a child, I felt invaded constantly. Once I knew how to keep others out, the solitude was blissful and I wore my independence like armor.”
“What about professionally? Did you ever tell anyone?”
“No one at the Planet. I had a couple of senior partners when I first started interning, but I kept colleagues at a professional distance. I never told Perry, but he knew about me. I’m not sure when he realized it, but it was unstated between us for a long time. He knew unofficially and I knew he knew. It worked really well for us. The only person that I’ve ever told purposely was Inspector Henderson. That was terrifying, but necessary in order to catch Annette Westman.”
“And personally?”
“Personally, I had Star and for a long time, that was enough. I never told anyone else. Every once in a while, the desire for … companionship would entice me, but after a few failed attempts at dating, I gave up. After Claude tried to steal my work, I refused to work with anyone else, either. Perry understood, but the other staffers didn’t. That’s how Mad Dog Lane got christened.”
Clark heard the bitterness in her voice. She had already told him that the lurid rumors he’d heard about Mad Dog Lane and a French correspondent weren’t true, but she hadn’t tried to correct them. Clark knew he shouldn’t ask, but he couldn’t stop himself. “No other boyfriends?”
She barked out a wry laugh. “Come on, Clark! I told you the whole truth during our game night. Let me put it this way, if you could read your date’s intentions like a bad novel, would you still go out? I did try, but like I said before, the men I met were more interested in an easy physical encounter or in obtaining my story notes than in me, so it never went anywhere.”
“As I child I’d learned more than I ever wanted to know about romantic relationships. My parents provided a terrible model.” She looked at him with tenderness. “The only kind of marriage that ever interested me was what your parents had; trusting, respectful, unconditional, but I figured I’d never find someone that could accept me. You need all three for a real friendship and without friendship, a relationship really can’t last, can it?”
Clark’s parents had been best friends, they had respected each other, and their acceptance of him and each other had been unconditional. A relationship like his parents’ was exactly what Clark wanted, too. And he knew in the deepest part of his heart that *this* Lois was his best friend. Despite knowing everything about him, despite his shabby treatment of her since his return, she was still helping him, comforting him, protecting him.
With a clarity that would never fade, Clark knew that he loved her. Had loved her all along. Until they had kissed in the conference room yesterday, he had thought his love for the other Lois would never fade, but now he knew that wasn’t true. Oh, he’d acknowledged the intense attraction, and it’d taken only a couple of days to see how truly remarkable his Lois was in her profession, but he had written off anything deeper as an echo.
He’d had it backwards.
Would Lois believe him if he told her? Could she trust him? Maybe not if he tried to explain with words, but if he bared his thoughts and feelings to her, maybe she could believe that what he felt was sincere.
Tentatively, Clark reached up and took off his foil helmet. He set it on her coffee table and then leaned forward to remove Lois’s cap as well. Her eyes were wide and shining, but she didn’t move away. He heard her heartbeat trip and settle into a gallop as he took her hand. Clark closed his eyes and focused on his feelings for her, of friendship, respect, acceptance, and love.
A heartbeat later, he heard her gasp and then the feelings rebounded tenfold back to him. When he felt her love for him flow through him, he thought he might burst. He opened his eyes in time to see Lois lurch forward to throw her arms around him. He pulled her close, closed his eyes, and let the feelings fill him up.
They stayed locked in an embrace for an endless moment before her tremulous voice answered his unspoken declaration. “I love you, too, Clark.”
He pulled back and placed a hand against her cheek. She met his gaze and he heard her heartbeat accelerate as the emotions between them shifted. He licked his lips and glanced down at her lips even as she leaned forward to receive him. It was a soft kiss, tender and hopeful and full of longing. Nothing like the heated exchange in the conference room, but infinitely better for its honesty. When it ended their eyes locked again as a pulse of energy sizzled between them.
Clark slid his arm up her back to frame her face with both hands as her skin flushed and her pupils dilated. He caught an image of them intimately entwined, their clothing rapidly disappearing and he smiled wickedly. Lois grinned back, but didn’t break eye contact. He leaned in to kiss her again when the phone rang.
“Ignore it,” she groaned as Clark’s lips whispered across her cheek and over a closed eyelid.
The phone stopped ringing abruptly after two rings and then after a brief pause, it rang again, twice.
Lois stilled and pulled away from Clark then, her mind shifting to serious thought.
“Ignore it?” Clark asked.
Lois shook her head. “That’s one of my sources and there’s some kind of trouble. I’m sorry, Clark. I need to go.”
~
TBC
