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Joined: Jul 2010
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KenJ Offline OP
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The hardest part about not receiving FDK is the fact that I have no idea if the story is 1) engaging, 2) believable, 3) in line with your expectations.

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Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
Joined: Jun 2013
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Overall, this story is excellent. I can definitely imagine Dean and Teri as the Shadow and Margot.

There are a few little things that made me shake my head, though.

Like this:

Quote
“Depress the clutch…”

She interrupted, “Clutch? What’s that?”
I find it hard to believe that Lois, who in LnC canon was born in 1967, had never heard of a clutch. She would have been learning to drive around 1982 - 1983, a time when manual transmissions were still readily available (in fact, my parents didn't buy their first automatic transmission vehicle until 1985, and when I was learning to drive circa 1992 - 1993, they had me practice on their manual transmission vehicles).

Even if Lois had only learned to drive an automatic, she would surely have at least heard of a clutch, especially since she broke a story on a car theft ring in the pilot in 1993 by pretending to be one of the thieves.

Other than that, the story is good and believable, and I like the links to the music. One of my former students from 7 years ago was a fan of music from the 30's and 40's, and also of reprints of comic books from that era, so I sent him a link to this story via Facebook today; if he likes it, maybe he'll come around here and join the boards, or at least let me tell you what he thought.


"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”

- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883
KenJ Offline OP
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Hi Anne,

Thanks for the FDK!

Originally Posted by Annie B.
Overall, this story is excellent. I can definitely imagine Dean and Teri as the Shadow and Margot.

There are a few little things that made me shake my head, though.

Like this:

Quote
“Depress the clutch…”

She interrupted, “Clutch? What’s that?”
I find it hard to believe that Lois, who in LnC canon was born in 1967, had never heard of a clutch. She would have been learning to drive around 1982 - 1983, a time when manual transmissions were still readily available (in fact, my parents didn't buy their first automatic transmission vehicle until 1985, and when I was learning to drive circa 1992 - 1993, they had me practice on their manual transmission vehicles).

Even if Lois had only learned to drive an automatic, she would surely have at least heard of a clutch, especially since she broke a story on a car theft ring in the pilot in 1993 by pretending to be one of the thieves.

I have two children, both around Terri’s (Lois’s) age, a daughter born in ’68 and a son in ‘72 and neither of them know how to drive a stick. I would imagine that as part of the car heist gang, she only stole automatic transmission cars.

Originally Posted by Annie B.
Other than that, the story is good and believable, and I like the links to the music. One of my former students from 7 years ago was a fan of music from the 30's and 40's, and also of reprints of comic books from that era, so I sent him a link to this story via Facebook today; if he likes it, maybe he'll come around here and join the boards, or at least let me tell you what he thought.

I would be very interested in hearing what your former student has to say.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj

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