Superman and The Shadow Matchmaker Chronicles Volume 0.5 8/26
Rated PG-13
/ “text”/ indicates telepathic communication
*text* indicates bold
<text> indicates thoughts
{text} indicates over the telephone
Universal Locator designation Alpha 023 x Gamma 004 x Tau -120 – Prime
Universal Locator designation Alpha 025 x Gamma - 086 x Tau 142 Alt 25 Shadow
Preeviously
“And I will pretend that you are Lois.”
“And if something happens and this never gets straightened out?”
“I guess that you could actually become Lois. Would you mind that … terribly?”
“I don’t know. I need to see how things go.” After saying that faux Lois lifted her left hand and admired the ring newly placed upon her finger. She started smiling as she did. She was imagining, in her mind’s eye, being engaged to Lamont and with Clark there, it wasn’t very hard to imagine. She let her imagination run wild and in a state of confusion started acting like it was Clark that she was engaged to. Absently she said, “Funny about this thing ... I look down at it ... I'm surprised to see it there ... and I think about what it means ... and about you...”
Clark replied, “Don’t you mean, Lamont?”
Coming out of her fog, somewhat she replied, “Uh, well, yeah. And I wonder if he will actually propose … when I get back, if I get back. I guess, I’m just being silly, but I want to pretend that it is actually you that I’m engaged to.”
Clark thought for a second, before he replied, “That would probably be the best thing to do. We have to look and act like a happily engaged couple. I’ve told you about some of the things that got in the way of our engagement so you can think of how long it took you to finally put it on.”
Getting into the spirit of the thing, faux Lois replied, “That, too ... We've been through a lot.”
In the spirit of humorous banter, Clark replied, “'A lot?' Lois, salmon swimming upstream don't have the mating trouble we've had.”
Faux Lois was watching him and smiling as he cooked. She settled into a chair and said, “Yeah, but now we're just this old, almost-married couple... And we'll be like this forever. You cooking, me watching.”
Clark teased, “You're never cooking?”
Faux Lois replied, “It's not really something I do.”
Clark replied, “It really isn’t something that the other Lois does either. I always thought it was lack of time.”
“We are so alike in so many ways. In my case it’s lack of talent. Who needs to cook as long as room service is available?”
“I’ve learned a lot this week, but I guess there's all kinds of things I still have to find out about you.”
Faux Lois smiled and replied, “And me about you. There's no really
big surprises, right?”
Teasingly, he asked, “Did I mention the flying?”
Standing up, she put her arms around his neck and said, “Yes, you did. I only marry men who fly.” She stopped herself, and said, “Maybe I shouldn’t say that. Maybe it should be … I only marry men who fly or who become invisible. What else is there to learn about you?”
Reaching over his shoulder, she swiped her finger across the spoon he had been stirring the spaghetti sauce with and then stuck said finger in her mouth to taste it. She let out an “Oooooooo,” sound and then said in a rapturous tone, “Delicious.” Impulsively she kissed him. Caught up in the instant, forgetting for the time that this was faux Lois, Clark responded and kissed her back.
Just then the phone started to ring and it broke the spell. Both realized just what they were doing and separated. As they did, Clark picked up the phone and answered, “Hello? Hi, Jimmy. Yeah, a little busy ... What? Yeah ... okay...” He hung up the phone and said, “Jimmy says we have to turn on channel six...”
As Clark moved to the living room she followed and as he grabbed the remote she said, “Wait, I was just gonna find out all this juicy stuff about you...”
Clark smiled an enigmatic smile as he clicked on the TV. As he did, centered in the frame was a run-down suburban home. The voice over was that of the sleazy Australian Top Copy Anchor, “Tonight, 'Top Copy' takes you live to the home of Miss Leigh-Anne Stipanovic...”
The picture of the house dissolved to be replaced by a shot of a marginally pretty, in a trailer trash sort of way, woman in her late twenties. The Chiron across the bottom of the screen gave her name, Leigh-Anne Stipanovic. She had a slight, but pronounced southern accent.
The reporter shoved a microphone in her face and she apparently answered a question that had been asked off microphone. Tearfully, she said, “Yes, it's true... I can remain silent no more.” She paused for a second before she continued, “I ... had Superman's love child.”
Clark’s mouth dropped open and faux Lois stared at him. In a sarcastic tone, she asked, “Is this one of the big things I was going to find out. What would Lois have said to this? At least I know that Lamont doesn’t run around on me.”
“Wait, I have no idea what this is all about. I’ve never seen that woman before in my life.”
“Why would she be claiming that if it wasn’t true?”
“It could be an extortion racket. She may just want money.”
“I guess we’ll have to see about that.”
And now:
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 8 –
1995
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
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Universal Locator designation
Alpha 023 x Gamma 004 x Tau -120 – Prime
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Clark called for faux Lois early the next morning. He had picked up coffee on the way to her apartment. When he knocked, she was dressed and ready to go. She had picked out one of Lois’s dress pant suits. The blouse had a high neck with extensions on the collar that were tied into a big floppy bow under her chin. She had her bag over her shoulder and accepting the coffee, said, “Okay, here we go.”
Descending to street level, they entered the Jeep and faux Lois got into the driver’s seat. Once they were both belted in, she started the engine and with her foot on the brake, put it into drive. She checked her mirrors and pulled into traffic. She was a careful driver and they made it to the underground parking lot of The Planet without incident. They chatted as they approached the elevator. Clark said, “Don’t worry, you’ll do just fine. Remember, we can excuse any faux pas by attributing it to the amnesia. The people in the bullpen are just going to be happy to see you back.”
As the elevator opened onto the bullpen, the first to see faux Lois emerge was Perry. He had been at Jimmy’s desk looking at some photos. Seeing her step off the elevator, he smiled so wide it threatened to split his face. He dropped the pictures on Jimmy’s desk and moved to intercept Lois as she descended the ramp. He was there, at the foot of the ramp when she arrived. He threw his arms around her and asked, “It’s good to see ya’. How are you Darlin’?”
Glancing at Clark for encouragement, faux Lois replied, “Oh, I’m fine Perry. I still have some gaps in my memory, but we hope that they will close up. Right now, I think I just need to get back to work. One thing, though, I think I should stick with Clark, if you don’t mind. What do you have for us?”
“We’ll ease you back into things. There’s a press conference this afternoon. Be ready if they open it up for questions.”
Clark replied, “We’ll be ready, Perry.”
Just as he said that, someone clicked on the newsroom TV and a tape of the "Top Copy" broadcast was playing. On TV was Leigh-Anne. Sitting next to her on the ratty couch was her son, Jesse, who appeared to be about 3 ½ years old.
Everyone in the newsroom, and especially, Jimmy were watching in rapt attention as Leigh-Anne talked about her son, “’Course, he's got my nose and my ears. But the eyes and the cheekbones, they're his daddy's alright.”
The Top Copy reporter on the scene fed her the next question, “And Leigh-Anne, Superman never visits the child? Is that right?”
Obviously going for the emotional appeal, Leigh-Anne started tearing up as she replied, “Only in our dreams. I'm constantly showing Jesse pictures of his daddy, so he won't forget. But it breaks my heart, you know. A boy needs a father.”
Demonstrating that this was a recording that they had made earlier, a staffer grabbed the remote and fast forwarded to the next section. Again, Leigh-Anne was laying it on rather thick, going all out on the emotional angle.
“... These years have been so hard. Sure, I've always hoped that Superman might give us a little loan or something to get on our feet. But mostly I just want him to...” She openly sobbed before she continued, “See his boy.” As she finished, she broke down weeping.
Perry had finally had enough, and shouted, gruffly, “Turn that trash off!”
There was a scramble for the remote and then the TV was off and everyone rapidly returned to their desks.
Jimmy wasn’t deterred however. He approached, Perry and asked, “So Chief, you don't think there's a story here?”
Taking pity on Jimmy, partly because of his youth and partly because he was a pet, Perry answered, “The story, Jimmy, is the crazy times we live in when anyone can get media coverage with a cock and bull story like that. We, by the way, won't be wasting ink on it.”
Faux Lois and Clark had gone over to her desk and Jimmy approached, “What do you think, C.K.? I mean if
I was Superman and had, you know, his looks ... his muscles ... tight pants ... women fallin' all over
me ... I sure might be tempted to...” He stopped speaking when he noticed that Clark was simply staring into space and not paying the slightest bit of attention to him. As he walked away, he muttered, “... Or not. Probably not. Wouldn't be a thing I'd think about.”
Perry was frustrated and it showed in his voice, “Could we get back to the
real news, here? Clark, the President of Tanzor is in town for the signing of a peace treaty with Fostonia. That is the press conference I was talking about.”
Snapping out of his funk, Clark replied, “Yeah, they've been enemies for a century. There are die-hards in both countries who don't want the treaty.”
Perry nodded, acknowledging that Clark was on top of the story and said, “You and Lois get on it.” Soto voce, he asked Clark, “How
is this engagement thing, anyway? You two must be happier'n pigs in slop.”
Just then faux Lois approached and her expression was anything, but happy. The thought that this could be Clark’s child was getting to her. She nodded to Perry and said, “What’s going on?” before she exchanged a look with Clark.
Perry didn’t seem to notice and he continued, “I was just sayin' how happy you two must be...”
Faux Lois seemed distracted as she replied, “What? Sorry, Chief ... I ... didn't sleep much last night.”
Clark chimed in, “Me, either.”
Jimmy and Perry shared a knowing look. They must have had a squabble.
Turning to faux Lois, Clark said, “Perry wants us to cover the President of Tanzor's arrival.”
Lois was less than enthusiastic as she replied, “Fine.”
As they turned away and picked up their things suddenly, Clark started to smile.
Jimmy interrupted their preparations. “Hey Lois, what'd you think of that babe who says she had Superman's...”
Clark interrupted, preemptively, “Jimmy.”
Faux Lois was stiff and over cordial as she replied, “Oh? 'Babe?' Is she a 'babe?' Clark, do you think she's a 'babe?'”
Clark was on the defensive as he replied, “Uh, I ... didn't really notice.” He crossed to faux Lois and taking her arm started to guide her toward the elevators.
Not to be deterred, Jimmy called after him, “'Not notice?!' How could you possibly not no...”
Clark silenced him with a glare.
Turning to Perry, he asked, “Is he okay?”
Perry replied, thoughtfully, “Aw, people in love always act screwy, Jimmy. Alice and me may be on the rocks just now... But I remember a time when
we didn't get much sleep, either.”
As they were waiting for the elevator, Clark asked, in a low tone, “You alright? Lois, we talked about this last night...”
Barely above a whisper, faux Lois replied, “I know.”
Clark tried to divert her, “So we'll just go to the President's arrival and try to forget all about...”
Stepping closer, she said, “Look, the story's as good as written. The guy arrives, waves, says peace is good, surprise, surprise. Not a good use of our time.”
The elevator doors slid open and they stepped inside. As the doors slid closed he could see Perry and Jimmy watching, so he put an arm around faux Lois’s shoulders.
When the doors were closed and they were alone, he said, “I got a good look at the boy she claims is my son. He looks to be about three and a half. For one thing Superman was created less than three years ago and at the time he would have been conceived, I was on the other side of the globe.”
With a determined look, faux Lois said, “Yeah, but with your flight ability, that can be discounted.”
“But, don’t you see, it would have been me, Clark Kent, me, not Superman.
“Since the press conference is going to be so predictable, there is a better use for our time.”
Responding, Clark asked, “Oh? And what might be a
better use of our time?”
Looking up, into his face, faux Lois said, “We could ... you know ... check out this Leigh-Anne person...”
Clark chuckled, “You know, you are really starting to sound like Lois.”
“Is that good or bad?”
“No, don’t get me wrong. It’s good. Keep it up and you might even fool me eventually. But no. Perry's right. Covering it just gives her credibility! This'll be over tomorrow...”
She gripped his lapels and said, “Well, I think that's naive. Our job is to
expose this hoax!
Prove to the world that...” She started to shake with emotion as she continued, “My fiancé ... The man I love... Never....
would never... Do what this woman says he did.” As she released his crumpled lapels, she said, “I’m sorry. Look, I’m not Lois, but I can’t help it. You’re so like Lamont, it’s like you are him and this is happening to him and me.”
“I don’t mind. It’s the situation. Of course he didn't! Uh, I didn't... Trust me, this story’s gonna die!”
Faux Lois spoke with resolve, “And I’ll be the one to kill it. Look, all we have to do is walk in there and if she doesn’t recognize you, there’s our proof.”
“Proof for us maybe, but if we say anything it could expose my secret identity.”
There was a ding and the elevator doors slid open to reveal the underground parking garage where the Jeep was parked.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
As faux Lois drove up to the house, they couldn’t get any closer than the end of the block because of all of the TV vans, equipment and reporters that jammed the street and yard of Leigh-Anne’s house.
As faux Lois and Clark approached, there was a stir as she was recognized. Everyone knew how close Lois Lane was to Superman and they could see the look of determination in her eyes. It was as if storm clouds were gathering. A major confrontation was in the offing and they all wanted to see the fireworks. The crowd parted like they were the Red Sea and faux Lois was Moses.
As they approached the porch that led up to the front door, it opened and Geraldo Rivera emerged, dabbing his eyes with a handkerchief.
Clark recognized him. “Geraldo?”
Geraldo looked up and saw faux Lois and Clark. When he did, he addressed faux Lois, “Hi, Lois. Boy, I've covered some tragic stories before... But
this...” Unable to go on, he simply waved his hand and left. Clark stared after him.
As he did, the door reopened and Leigh-Anne stepped onto the porch. She was dressed shabbily, but neatly. She wanted to look good, but she was going for the sympathy factor.
Addressing the crowd, she said, “I forget. Which of you kind people did I say was next?”
The other reporters started shouting and waving their arms attempting to get her attention. Faux Lois was standing in the front of the crowd and simply said, “Hello, I'm Lois Lane...”
It was obvious that Leigh-Anne recognized the name and was both shocked and pleased. She played up her southern drawl as she said, “Lois Lane... From the
Daily Planet? Come on in!” Using a scarf around her neck, she started dabbing at her eyes. Then she said, “I feel a woman should tell my Story.”
Remembering the conversation that she and Clark had had, when Leigh-Anne didn’t recognize Clark, faux Lois released a silent sigh of relief. She could now be fairly certain that Clark was innocent.
As they followed Leigh-Anne inside, Clark leaned in close to faux Lois and whispered, “Just repeat to yourself, hoax, hoax, hoax.”
Faux Lois nodded and whispered, “Hoax, hoax, hoax.”
As they passed through the door, faux Lois was still whispering to herself, “Hoax, hoax, hoax,” but the sight that greeted her eyes stopped her in her tracks. Clark, who had been close behind her actually bumped into her and they both stared, stunned by what they saw.
Jesse, the three and a half year old son of Leigh-Anne was carrying a full sized sofa across the room, balanced on one hand. A feat fit for a Superman.
In a reproving tone, Leigh-Anne addressed Jesse, “Jesse, Honey, we have guests.”
Faux Lois and Clark were both shaken. Faux Lois pasted on a feeble smile and said, “Excuse us a second.”
They stepped back outside and leaned against the wall for support. Faux Lois hissed, “Well? Well?”
Clark hissed back, “
I don’t know! It … It’s impossible.!”
She hissed back, “Impossible?! Impossible?!”
Clark, still mystified by what he had seen, challenged, “Why do you keep saying everything twice?”
Once they had finally gotten themselves somewhat together, they both peered around the doorframe. When they did, they saw Leigh-Anne point to where she wanted Jesse to put the sofa. He set it down gently and patted it before he left the room.
They finally stepped back into the room and looked around. The room was a shambles from a long period of abuse: Cracked plaster, boy-shaped holes in the walls, splintered furniture.
Faux Lois, apparently a bit awkward with children, approached Jesse. She tried to sound friendly as she said, “Hi, Jesse. I'm Lois. I'm here to be your mommy's friend so she'll tell me the
real,
true story of your life.”
Jesse, with childlike directness replied, “I don’t like you.”
Faux Lois had a frozen smile on her face as she replied, “I see.”
Jesse pointed at Clark and said, “I like him.” As he said this, Jesse ran and grabbed onto Clark’s leg. There was a soft thud as they collided.
Clark looked up from Jesse, where he was clinging to Clark’s leg and smiled weakly at Lois.
Leigh-Anne had been only half watching, her mind on how to craft the interview to her benefit, but seeing this, commented, “Wow, he's usually shy with strangers. Shall we get started?” Tentatively, she touched faux Lois’s arm and indicated the sofa. Uncomfortably, she glanced at Clark and saw that he was with Jesse. She thought <I guess if we split up we can cover more ground. I’ll talk to Leigh-Anne and he can talk to Jesse,> and moved to sit next to Leigh-Anne on the sofa.
Clark had always been good with children so he felt comfortable with having Jesse follow him around as he checked on the damage that had been done to the house. He examined the edges of a boy shaped hole in one wall. As he did, he asked Jesse, “So. Jesse. You're a pretty strong boy. How'd you get so strong?”
Jesse just shrugged his shoulders in response.
Spotting a small football, Clark picked it up and asked, “Ever play catch?”
Smiling, Jesse supersped into the dining area and held up his hands to accept Clark’s throw.
Clark was stunned and said, in a weak tone, “Gee. And you're really, really ... fast.”
Leigh-Anne was tracking how much interest her story was generating and had her TV on, tuned to LNN.
The scene shifted to the outside of the building where the peace conference was to be held. In a voice over, the anchorperson said, “We now bring you live coverage of the Metropolis Peace Conference.”
As Clark looked on, he slowly sank into a sitting position on the floor in front of the TV, the anchorperson said, “We're at the Tanzorian Consulate Building where President Florio has just arrived. Tomorrow he signs the peace treaty with Fostonia, with whom his country has a long history of hostile relations.
Suddenly, a movement out of the corner of his eye attracted his attention and looking n that direction he saw Jesse floating cross-legged in mid-air next to him.
Faux Lois was distracted from her conversation with Leigh-Anne by seeing Jesse floating. The more she saw the harder it was for her to believe Clark’s protestations of innocence.
As they watched, the limousine pulled up to the Consulate. There were crowds of spectators and reporters, constrained to remain behind barriers that had been erected by the police.
The voice over continued, “Today's ceremonies include a welcome from federal and local government officials that...”
As they watched the limo approach, a squad of several dark suited Secret Service types, in reflective sunglasses and earpieces, trotted to the limo and one opened the door.
Unknown to anyone, an international terrorist, who was a master of disguise, called simply Anonymous had infiltrated the ranks of the security squad. While the other men scanned the crowd, he let a small silver transmitter with tiny antenna slip down one side of his leg until it rested on the curb. He stepped back into the squad as the President, in formal military-like garb, emerged from the car. He waved to the crowd then started moving slowly toward the building, surrounded by Secret Service guys.
A light was visible on the side of the transmitter and after a preprogrammed delay it started to transmit a high pitched hum
The hum gained in strength and increased in pitch until it was beyond normal human hearing.
Jesse put his hands over his ears and said, “Bad noise.”
Clark started to reach for his ears also, but then fearing that he would reveal something, refrained.
Leigh-Anne responded to Jesse, “What noise? I don’t hear anything.”
Clark knew that there was something afoot, so he said to faux Lois, “Uh, Lois … I’ll be right back,” and made a hasty exit. As quickly as he could he made his way back to the car. Opening the rear door, he entered, did a spin change and exited the other door at super-speed so that no one would see him.
The hum continued to grow more shrill and it was apparent that the audible noise coming from the transmitter was incidental. It was broadcasting on the frequency used by the security squad. The Secret Service types all began reaching for their earpieces. All but Anonymous. Suddenly the noise became a SHRIEK and all the guards grabbed their ears and crumpled to the ground. Anonymous thrust a hand into a pocket, which was clearly holding a gun, moved swiftly to the bewildered President. “Right this way, Mr. President.”
He started to hustle the President toward the side of the building, rather than the main entrance, when he was interrupted by the arrival of Superman.
Superman zeroed in on the transmitter and crushed it. Immediately the secret service types started to recover and stand while Superman went to the President who was now standing by himself, somewhat dazed.
Superman asked, “Are you all right, Mr. President?”
The President was shaking his head, as he replied, “Yes, yes ... One of my men acted very quickly and...” He looked around. “Where did he go?”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Meanwhile, faux Lois had been conducting the interview, or more accurately, since she was not as experienced as the real Lois, allowed Leigh-Anne to talk.
“Oh, he spoiled me somethin' awful. Cheese from France, chocolate from Switzerland ... 'Course he can get to all those places in two shakes.”
Faux Lois had already experienced some of that so she was able to reply, “I'm familiar with that, yes.”
Leigh-Anne continued as if faux Lois hadn’t even spoken, “But I would just keep sayin' to him, 'Super,' I'd say... I called him Super ... 'Super, the gifts are nice, but I want you to love me like an ordinary man.'”
Faux Lois muttered, “Uh-huh.”
Leigh-Anne gushed, “And you know what he would do? He'd ... cook for me.”
Faux Lois, choked out, “He’d cook for you?” The more she heard the more the doubts crowded into her mind. She reached for a glass and took a sip of water.
Leigh-Anne really started to lay it on think as she said, “Please, I beg you, don't ask about our ... intimate ... relations. Suffice it to say, they don't call him 'Super' man for nothin'.”
At that one faux Lois almost choked on her water.
Leigh-Anne asked, “You all right, sugar?”
Faux Lois replied, “Yes. Yes, I’m okay.”
Leigh-Anne gushed, “I can understand if he's no longer in love with me. The flame that burns so bright, only burns so long.” She continued to go for the emotional impact and turned on the water works, “But I have my little boy to think about!”
Faux Lois had worked enough with Lamont and had read enough of the real Lois’s articles to spot a possible flaw. She decided that she needed to see some hard evidence. “You know, in all fairness to Superman, you haven't really offered any hard proof that ... well ... he even knows you.”
As if she was a lawyer in a court of law presenting evidence, Leigh-Anne produced a framed photo of herself and Superman outside a cheap motel. She had her arms around him in a quasi-romantic pose and showed it to Lois. “No? How 'bout this?”
Instead of increasing her doubts, the picture shored up faux Lois’s confidence in Clark. She knew Clark and Lamont better than this woman ever could. She had seen Lamont in various guises and Clark with and without his glasses. The man in the photo was probably NOT Clark. He had been telling the truth and a feeling of relief swept over her.
She almost missed what Leigh-Anne was saying. “Now don't go printing that. 'National Inquisitor' and 'Tattle Tale Weekly' are fighting for the rights.”
Faux Lois thought, <And there’s the motive for her lies. We’ll have to see about this.>
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Meanwhile, Anonymous had to report his failure.
Once he had, the rebel leader, a fiery zealot in his thirties, replied, “It's unthinkable you failed today. We're not paying you for failure! Now the old fool's canceled most of his public appearances.”
Anonymous replied, “But not all. He has a soft spot for kids, which means he
is a fool, and he's attending charity events for the little creatures.”
The rebel leader pounded the desk in front of him as he replied, “Fostonia is the historic enemy of my country. There must be no peace treaty.”
Anonymous snickered and said, “A nuclear missile's going to be launched from your country which'll destroy the capital of Fostonia. Who's going to sign a peace treaty?”
The leader said, “But you need the launch codes. And only the president has them.”
Anonymous picked up a tabloid and said, “I'll
get the damn launch codes. But I'm going to need a little help.”
He turned the tabloid so that the leader could see the picture of Jesse floating next to Leigh-Anne. The headline read:
”Flybaby Needs SuperDad.”comments go here TBC
