Kal-El went about his days on the ship as privately and unobtrusively as he could, but he knew he failed. Everyone watched him. The women his clone had abused feared him, on a primitive level – even if nobody openly acted as if he made them uncomfortable.
Back on Earth, when he had revealed his existence, he had met with unrelenting terror from all but a few people – the world’s leaders, who would never show him fear, and of course – Lois and Lex.
He was still haunted by memories of encounters he had had.
Crashing, creaking metallic sounds. Move fast. People in danger. Cringing, terrified people – needing rescue, but not from him. I am not my clone. I won’t hurt you. No good. No good . He had to force his aid on people trapped – not too many times, but enough that each encounter tormented him in memory. His clone loved inciting fear, and Kal-El abhorred it.
One time in particular, Lois had actually apologized to him – she witnessed his emotional aftermath – reading between his brittle mask of expressionlessness. It isn’t you. It’s who you look like. It takes time. As if Lois had ever owed him comfort.
He’d of course known that her reaction to the two Clarks had been filled with stark terror – but her words of comfort had done little to help him – even if it was proof that people could learn to deal with him. He hated hurting anyone with his presence. The Clarks felt that way too, but they didn’t have the actual guilt of failing an entire world. They accidentally looked like a tyrant... the tyrant was his own fault.
In the year he had been free, he couldn’t forget Earth. He couldn’t forget Lois. Her steely gaze that would soften sometimes when she felt sorry for him. He could have easily loved her. But that is why he had to stop thinking about her. He couldn’t ever actually hope to recreate the vast miracle that had been Clark and Lois – he could only ever stay as far from that place as possible – as far from Lois as possible, and never give her reason to fear again.
He sighed. He had to do something. He had to make himself useful . But how? Right now, he had no assigned duties, and he felt it. The respectful behavior of his people – still treating him as their leader – second only to Zara and Ching, made him uncomfortable. He did his own self-care, eschewing the aid of attendants.
_____
Kal-El shook with reaction. She had contacted him. Lois Lane had contacted him.
Another lonely bleak day of just existing, and he had returned to his room after offering his aid to Zara and Ching in the daily efforts of rebuilding a deeply damaged society. The pretendership had taken a huge toll on his people. To be part of something that they were helpless to stop had been deeply scarring to many. Nobody openly blamed him – it was enough he did it himself. He couldn’t even look Vina in the eye – he knew her thoughts – she had shared her memories. He knew what his clone had done, and had made her do.
The message was a recording – instant communication not possible based on how far apart they were. They needed help. They specifically wanted to keep the numbers down, and they wanted him to be one of ones who came to help. This request had to come from Lois , and possibly Lex – he couldn’t imagine the world’s leaders feeling secure enough with his own intentions to ask for him specifically. On the other hand, the two resistance leaders would have been loathe to trust anyone else. Lex probably had pushed for Zara – but Lois would have denied that.
Secrecy of course, at least in the beginning.
Resolutely he went to ask Zara and Ching for permission.
________
“I will go with you,” Zara said
“You are having a child,” Kal-El protested. “Would you risk your child’s life?”
“I would go in her stead,” Ching said.
“Lois asked for me, specifically,” Kal-El argued calmly. “If you are needed, I will let you know. Is this satisfactory?”
Zara and Ching exchanged glances and Zara nodded.
“You are permitted to go, Kal-El. They need you, and I know Lois will trust only a very few of us to help. You must seek out further help if you think you will need help.”
“I will. I do promise. Of course I will return. I do not belong on Earth.”
Last edited by L; 03/19/17 12:33 PM.
