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Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 179
Hack from Nowheresville
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OP
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 179 |
This story is a sequel to Blooming Time. Please, read it first! Complete Story Any comments?
Last edited by Millefeuilles; 02/19/17 01:28 PM.
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Joined: Apr 2013
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,331 |
All I can say is where have you been all this time. These two stories are just amazing. The characterization is just so perfect. I always say that if I see Dean and Teri when I read the story then you have hit the characterization nicely and I see nothing but Dean and Teri when I read your two stories.
I just love the revelation part of the story. Definitely a Lois initial response but then that was colored by her love of the man as she sees how Clark/Superman has treated her even after she was so heartless to him/them. She sees the love the man has for her and it quickly outweighs the annoyance she immediately felt when she made the discovery.
Finally the ending has the proper amount of resolution and is open ended. The only thing I would have added would have been a stuttering Clark when she dropped the bombshell of the final sentence.
Please keep writing!
Mike
Last edited by Mike M; 02/19/17 12:03 PM.
Create all the happiness you are able to create.
Remove all the misery you are able to remove.
Jeremy Bentham
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Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 179
Hack from Nowheresville
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OP
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 179 |
All I can say is where have you been all this time. These two stories are just amazing. The characterization is just so perfect. I always say that if I see Dean and Teri when I read the story then you have hit the characterization nicely and I see nothing but Dean and Teri when I read your two stories. Mike... What can I say but THANK YOU. I'm overwhelmed. Really. After reading many perfect stories in the archives, this means a lot to me. My wonderful Beta, Cuidadora, must take a LOT of credit to smoothing out the rough angles. (English is NOT my first language.) I just love the revelation part of the story. Definitely a Lois initial response but then that was colored by her love of the man as she sees how Clark/Superman has treated her even after she was so heartless to him/them. She sees the love the man has for her and it quickly outweighs the annoyance she immediately felt when she made the discovery. That's what I wanted to convey... Her heart to heart with Superman earlier in the evening changes everything: Lois is able to see the man behind the disguises (and the 'shield of steel') Finally the ending has the proper amount of resolution and is open ended. The only thing I would have added would have been a stuttering Clark when she dropped the bombshell of the final sentence. Are you so sure Clark understands Lois knows? I'm not. As a matter of fact, I wrote it so it could go both ways. Lois's previous questions are ambiguous, so Clark may not think she knows CK=S. After all, she said, “This one time, let’s pretend Superman didn’t visit you first and blabbed away my secrets. Or that you didn’t do it before.”, and then she asked, “You do know each other rather well, don’t you?” I will! Muses, RL and Beta willing! (but there won't be a sequel called Squirming Time!  )
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Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 247 Likes: 10
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 247 Likes: 10 |
I agree with Mike, these 2 stories are just fabulous. The atmosphere you weave is perfect. I love how you put just enough in the descriptions to make your point, but never get bogged down in it. Thank you do much for sharing with us!
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Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 179
Hack from Nowheresville
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OP
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 179 |
I agree with Mike, these 2 stories are just fabulous. The atmosphere you weave is perfect. I love how you put just enough in the descriptions to make your point, but never get bogged down in it. Thank you do much for sharing with us! Thank you for reading, PuffyTiger! I wondered about the descriptions, and now, you've put my mind at rest! Lovely FDK like yours is a balm to the writer's soul.
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Joined: Apr 2010
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,660 Likes: 10 |
Bravo!  There are so many great points in this story its difficult to know where to begin! Yet, she was standing in front of his apartment door, anxiety gnawing at her insides, half-wanting to turn tail and flee to the safety of her loveless home. This is a good description of what a home can be without laughter and love. Love can warm the loneliest places and right now, that is exactly what her apartment is ...loveless. There was one chance in a hundred Clark would be dead drunk by now and sleeping it off. WoW! If Clark could get drunk the question is, would he? Clark remained silent, while he settled more comfortably into his battered couch.
He wouldn’t make it easy for her, would he?
No, he wouldn’t, her inner voice whispered. Why would he?
Unless…
Unless he was already over her. Unless he was pulling a Rhett Butler on her.
Could he? So quickly?
Lois gasped. Rhett Butler? Love it! She's really beating herself up! She went on, “I liked him. I still do. But… I’m not really comfortable with him. Not like—” Her gesture encompassed it all.
Clark opened his mouth, and she hastily bade him silence with another glance, fearing that if she were interrupted, she’d never have the guts to bare her heart one more time.
“It was pleasant dating Lex. And, in a way, exciting. Going to Italy… Exploring places I could never see otherwise.” She paused, willing Clark to understand. “It took me a whole afternoon waiting for Superman to know I-I merely wanted to be a-a tourist in Lex’s world.”
Would Clark find her shallow and mercenary? Maybe. She had to take that chance.
‘Lex… He made me feel as if he would do anything for me. Give me everything. It was… intoxicating, I suppose.”
Lois raised her eyes from her scrutiny of the kitchen floor; Clark was looking at her without condemnation, but with an irony that puzzled her.
“But, in the end, I could not talk with him. We never were friends.” She swallowed, and added, more slowly, “I missed you.” This entire section is priceless. In a few words the relationship between Lex and Lois is summed up. She was curious, flattered and intrigued by his world, but only to visit. Lex was an illusion. In the end, thankfully before it was too late, Lois realizes what truly matters. “Indeed, Mr. Kent. You can begin by telling me all you know about Lex.”
She patted his chest encouragingly. “And afterwards, you can tell everything about Superman.” Get out another cup on oolong tea, this is gonna take awhile. Your understanding of the English language is exquisite. I hope we see more of your work.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 179
Hack from Nowheresville
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OP
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 179 |
Bravo! There are so many great points in this story its difficult to know where to begin! Thank you! I'm really trying!  Yet, she was standing in front of his apartment door, anxiety gnawing at her insides, half-wanting to turn tail and flee to the safety of her loveless home. This is a good description of what a home can be without laughter and love. Love can warm the loneliest places and right now, that is exactly what her apartment is ...loveless. Yes, it is... This is why Clark's had become a better home than hers. There was one chance in a hundred Clark would be dead drunk by now and sleeping it off. WoW! If Clark could get drunk the question is, would he? This is Lois's childhood trauma speaking... And she answers that question on her own, in the following sentence. This is a conditioned reflex, not what she really believes. And no, I don't believe Clark would get drunk, either. He has a moral backbone made of steel. Clark remained silent, while he settled more comfortably into his battered couch.
He wouldn’t make it easy for her, would he?
No, he wouldn’t, her inner voice whispered. Why would he?
Unless…
Unless he was already over her. Unless he was pulling a Rhett Butler on her.
Could he? So quickly?
Lois gasped. Rhett Butler? Love it! She's really beating herself up! She is. And I'm sure Lois is a fan of Gone with the Wind. Loving romance novels, how couldn't she love that masterpiece? She went on, “I liked him. I still do. But… I’m not really comfortable with him. Not like—” Her gesture encompassed it all.
Clark opened his mouth, and she hastily bade him silence with another glance, fearing that if she were interrupted, she’d never have the guts to bare her heart one more time.
“It was pleasant dating Lex. And, in a way, exciting. Going to Italy… Exploring places I could never see otherwise.” She paused, willing Clark to understand. “It took me a whole afternoon waiting for Superman to know I-I merely wanted to be a-a tourist in Lex’s world.”
Would Clark find her shallow and mercenary? Maybe. She had to take that chance.
‘Lex… He made me feel as if he would do anything for me. Give me everything. It was… intoxicating, I suppose.”
Lois raised her eyes from her scrutiny of the kitchen floor; Clark was looking at her without condemnation, but with an irony that puzzled her.
“But, in the end, I could not talk with him. We never were friends.” She swallowed, and added, more slowly, “I missed you.” This entire section is priceless. In a few words the relationship between Lex and Lois is summed up. She was curious, flattered and intrigued by his world, but only to visit. Lex was an illusion. In the end, thankfully before it was too late, Lois realizes what truly matters. Thank you. That part just flowed when I wrote it. I'm afraid I portrayed Lois as a little more honest with herself than the series's character... Being honest, I suspect many women would love to be tourist in Lex's world for a while. And the real irony is : 1/ Superman will take her where she wishes to visit. 2/ Lex did "anything for her", bombing the Planet, but at this point she doesn't know it. “Indeed, Mr. Kent. You can begin by telling me all you know about Lex.”
She patted his chest encouragingly. “And afterwards, you can tell everything about Superman.” Get out another cup on oolong tea, this is gonna take awhile. Your understanding of the English language is exquisite. I hope we see more of your work. Yes, it will be a LONG discussion. Poor Clark! At this point Lois connected some dots, and she guessed that Lex was somehow responsible for the Planet not being rebuild. (After all, if Clark/Superman told her Lex was fishy...) However, she has no idea of the extent of his manipulation. Lex should beware. Thank you for your encouragement! I'll go on writing, if I can. (I have the beginning of a longer story (that I began writing before these 2) that I may finish one day.)
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 719
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 719 |
Both your stories are incredible, lovely and deeply sweet. Thank you for posting and I hope to read more of your work.
Silence is violence. End white supremacy based violence
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Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 179
Hack from Nowheresville
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OP
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 179 |
Both your stories are incredible, lovely and deeply sweet. Thank you for posting and I hope to read more of your work. Thank you! I'm really grateful for your FDK, especially as I ADORED Long Strange Trip, a story that remains one of my favorite fics. (I haven't read the sequel yet, as being a newbie to the boards, I didn't even realize there was a sequel in progress...) And I'm very grateful that I'll read more of your stories in the future! 
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 719
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 719 |
Thank you!!
SISL is complete now, and the third sequel is WIP, but a quicker write since I'm not engaging as super heavy exposition - still going for heavy story of course
Silence is violence. End white supremacy based violence
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