Hi FoLCs!
This is Kerth Quiz #5 - Best Comedy
Instructions are blatantly copied/linked from last year’s Kerth Quizzes (or even further back than that).
SPIFFY DISCLAIMER THINGY! All the stories featured in this quiz qualify for the Best Comedy Category, but this quiz is not a stamp of recommendation for nomination. There are other stories which qualify for this category, but this quiz only covers 10 randomly chosen ones.
Recommendations for other eligible stories are *very* welcome and encouraged!
QUIZ RULES: Two points for getting the story and author from the quote; one point for getting it from the excerpt. Specify which is which, or you'll automatically get one point instead of two. (Also, don't forget to mention which number you're answering.) Open hard drive and archive, *don't* forget to snip the excerpts in your replies, and don't forget the spoiler space when you post in the replies thread. Plus, shiny gold stars for those who recognize their own stories (which, sadly, is harder than it looks, but mostly in the Epic and Long Story Categories though).
The DEADLINE for entries for this quiz is Friday, January 29, 2016, by 11:59 p.m (Pacific Time Zone).
Please post your answers
HERE .
Good luck!
Susan
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QUOTE #1:
Never Look Like This Guy Again!
QUOTE #2:
“Lexi Luthor, yousa bad man!” he shouted, throwing himself into the fray and grabbing the baby. “Yousa hurt babies … and yousa wouldn’t save Naboo either!”
QUOTE #3:
"I meant your costume," Lois explained. "Cat told me that she'd seen you wearing a Superman costume earlier today."
QUOTE #4:
“I know, honey. She’s a bad sister-in-law.”
QUOTE #5:
“Phone home.”
QUOTE #6:
When nothing else will do, Scribbles is the one for you!
QUOTE #7:
“I’m destined to be a pain in the ass.”
QUOTE #8:
Thalia put her hand on her hip. "Well, if you gave me a nicer place to work, maybe the stories would be better."
QUOTE #9:
Jimmy turned to his boss. “So, Chief, how long do we keep this up?” he asked.
“Until the day is over, or until Clark realizes he's an April Fool,” said Perry, grinning. “Whichever comes first.”
QUOTE #10:
At this point, a bit of a crowd was beginning to form around the two women, interested in what the outcome of this would be. "I say you should get her, Lois," Jimmy shouted out.
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EXCERPT #1:
Restore the brilliant colors to bodysuits, capes, briefs, boots – all your cosplay and Halloween costumes. Experts in clothing care since 1966, Utopia Products brings professional cleaning to your home, and it’s fast and easy. Just place items in the basket, give ’em a dip, then remove and rinse. That two or three second immersion instantly removes sweat, oil, bomb stains, dirt, and beer to leave your costume as bright as new. Not for use with metal, pearls, or glowing stones.
EXCERPT #2:
"Let go of me!" Lex pushed the hyper Gungan away. "Don't you see? If Krypton never explodes, then Superman never comes to Earth. If Superman never comes to Earth, then I shall rule Metropolis, and then America, and then the world!" He laughed evilly, then stopped, realizing that he sounded like a Scooby-Doo villain.
EXCERPT #3:
Lois wasn't sure exactly why he appeared to be so distraught over Cat discovering his Halloween costume ahead of time. It wasn't as if it was some national secret or something. And even if Clark had wanted to surprise everybody, he had clearly accomplished that by changing costumes. The only reason he'd be this upset would be if Cat was right and he actually was Superman. But that couldn't be, could it?
EXCERPT #4:
He watched her with his mouth agape, as she rolled her eyes melodramatically and turned into him. She grabbed him by his open jaw and before he could even process what was happening, her mouth was on his in spite of his squirming, searing and passionate and dear God was that her tongue?
EXCERPT #5:
Jonathan parked the car on the edge of the field and husband and wife held hands as they traipsed towards a small object. As they approached, they saw that it was unlike anything they had ever encountered. It looked like some sort of a spaceship, but one too small to hold an astronaut.
They drew back suddenly when the hatch opened. As they peered in, they could discern a small, tan figure with elongated digits.
EXCERPT #6:
If while busy flying about, fixing broken fences or helping out the local fire brigade, you’ve busted your favorite or only pair of glasses and are in need of a quick fix, come on down to Sherman Optical, the only place in America nobody is bound to recognize your face.
EXCERPT #7:
The scene was sweetly romantic and utterly revolting. “I think I’m going to hurl,” TJ said sarcastically.
Tempus dipped his finger into the cranberry sauce and took a lick. “Ugh! Me, too. I think she really did make this herself.”
EXCERPT #8:
"What do you mean? I thought you liked working under my bed. None of my childhood monsters ever complained to me about residing there. Isn't that where imaginary beings like to congregate?"
"The locale isn't the problem. The problem is your lack of housecleaning. All your dust bunnies kept mating with my plot bunnies, and these stories are the result."
EXCERPT #9:
“Superman,” his wife repeated. “I know he's a busy person, but Jimmy says he managed to corner him at a rescue this morning, and that he agreed to make some time to meet with us.”
Clark stared at his wife. “Um, Lois?” he began. “How could Jimmy have spoken to Superman this morning?”
“By getting to the scene of the rescue before he flew away,” Lois answered as if it were natural. “It's lucky for us, really; about five seconds after agreeing to the interview, he got called away to a fire.”
“But,” Clark continued after a long pause, “I was sound asleep this morning!”
Lois gave him a mildly annoyed look. “I know,” she said, “and if you want to get the exclusives, Clark, then you'll need to step it up and quit being such a lazy-bones.”
EXCERPT #10:
"I'd take this as a lesson," he said. "Never, ever make fun of a woman's cooking! Never! The same thing happened to me the time I told Alice that she should learn how to bake from my mother." As he handed the towel to Cat, he let out another laugh, shook his head, and then shuddered at the thought.
