Darth Michael: Hi Michael!
Always our favorite time of the week.
With cannoli filled with cream and chocolate?
LOIS: Of course!
CLARK:
Will they eat in her laundry room?
No, that was another story entirely.
Gangs? In *her* neighborhood?
That was Clark's point.
And Clark lets her stay there? Or Lex, for that matter?
LOIS: /cat/ ‘lets me’ ?
Probably best not to go there.
Or contemplating a 500 yards injunction.
CLARK: So, you're saying I have to watch her apartment from my apartment?
*shakes head with annoyance* Fine!
Is he going to read the Metropolis Star next? Or LFI?
LOIS: /shock/ I can’t believe you’d read that filth. And in *public*!
CLARK: /puts away the Star/ /blushes/ There were funny comics?
He wasn't sure or he couldn't tell the difference between the comics and the "real" stories with bright colorful pictures?
Unless Lex kisses like her father?
Explains why she wasn't anticipating their honeymoon night.
Like the one where she is chained above a vat of boiling acid?
LOIS: Silly! That’s the one where I put together all the clues to the drug lord’s hideout and Superman sweeps in to make the arrest. I get a Pulitzer and Superman carries me off to his castle in the clouds to make love to me.
SUPERMAN: That's not *quite* how I recall the incident with Miranda.
LOIS:
What if Lois was the one doing the blackmailing herself. That way, she has a reasonable out without losing face. Plus, she could tease Clark without actually having to put herself out there.
LEX:
He and Kara really *are* related.
LOIS: Who's Kara?
CLARK: Kara? Who? Huh? I don't know! I swear!
LOIS: Uh-huh. I bet.
CLARK: No, really. Who is she?
Huh. That’s a coincidink…
LOIS: No such thing.
Yeah, you wouldn’t want to have the competition know that you’re peddling yesterday’s news as a headline.
Lois received scandalous photos yesterday? That type of YESTERDAY'S news?
Later, at the liar’s anonymous meeting:
KAL-EL: Hi, I’m Kal-El, and I have a problem.
CROWD: Hello, Kal-El!
Yes, probably best not to go as oneself to these Justice League meetings.
No, the female lead character was Linda King.
LOIS: Linda? Hmmm. No, I can't say I recall her. What does the skank look like?
CAT: /decides Linda doesn't know the definition of phrase/ Right…
I guess things depend on one's POV.
JIMMY, PERRY, & CLARK: Nope, she's not acting like a goodie, goodie.
RALPH: Put a nun's habit on her, I wouldn't be able to pick her out of a line-up.
But Clark prefers triangles.
CLARK:
But only if I get to play 2 out of the 3 parts.
LINDA: That can be arranged.
CLARK: And Lois plays the 3rd.
So, is he falling for her act?
LOIS:
Gotcha!
CLARK: I can't believe you doubted me, man.
That’s a new one.
CLARK: Jackpot!
CLARK: I don't know HOW I knew Linda was your blackmailer, Lois. It was just a feeling I had and she admitted it, so I went from there.
LOIS: She didn't have any more pictures of me, then?
CLARK:
*crosses finger behind his back* I can't say that she did.
We…she did earn it /huh/
LINDA: Whose side are you on, exactly?
Whichever side burns with a brighter fire, I'm guessing.
CLAUDE: Maybe, but she certainly didn’t get it for her horizontal skills.
LOIS: I believe he meant my investigational skills.
Busting a corrupt politician in a tax scandal?
No, I believe that was Cat Grant's story.
What about when she announced her engagement? Or when she will announce her dumped fiancé’s suicide?
She didn't write up those stories.
A side job to pay the bills until she gets paid for her freelance work with the National Whisper?
CLARK: *taps mouth* Then what are these?
Oh? She’s not alone in it after all? And here I figured she snuck the camera after one of her nights of passion with Paul.
She could've done.
LINDA: I certainly wouldn’t let him have naked pictures of me. What do you think I am? Stupid? Never expected the film to have been used, though.
Exactly.
At least, now we know why you turned out Linda in part 3 of 4.5. /thud/
You also know why this story stretched into more than 3 parts.
Linda sure was unexpected.
Glad to hear.