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#264867 07/17/15 08:08 PM
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Feedback folder.

This story is almost finished. I'm still writing it, but I think it's probably got another 2 or 3 chapters at most.

Feli


"It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating."- Simon Pegg
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Pulitzer
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Let me be the first one to comment on this story.

Quote
By the time he got to Macon, he felt strong enough to fly. Momentarily he considered turning in the rental car there and flying the rest of the way, but instead decided to conserve his energy and return it at the next town.

Bourg-en-Bresse wasn't a particularly large city. It was an easy matter to track down the rental car agency and pay for the car - and the window repair. Then he found a deserted spot and took to the sky.



Clark flew high over the main road between Geneva and Chamonix, scanning frantically for traces of Lois and Luthor. The road was practically deserted; so far he'd only seen two vehicles since leaving Geneva, and he was starting to worry that he'd missed them.

You have done a lot of research on the European roads and it shows. We can see that Clark is as familiar with this area as he is with Metropolis and New Troy. This adds a lot of realism to the story.

Quote
He felt rather than saw the kick aimed for him, one that would push him over the edge of the cliff face. With a superhuman effort, he rolled at the last second.

The momentum of the vicious kick missing caught Luthor off guard. Unable to get his balance back, he pitched forward over the sheer drop ahead.

Clark made one wild grab at the falling man and missed, the pain of his action causing him to curl into an agonised ball.

Lex's madness is very evident here. Who is the real freak? Certainly not Clark, his adversary's determination to kill him, Clark tries to save his life. In the end proving he is the real human.

Quote
“We need to get you to a hospital.”

“No!”

The vehement exclamation was followed by a groan. She glanced at him, seeing the beads of sweat collecting on his forehead. “Clark -”

“No hospital,” he repeated. “All I need is -”

Lois cut him off in frustration. “Time and sunlight. I know.”

She put the car into gear and turned it around, heading back towards Paris.

Don't worry Clark, she's learning! grin


Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Wonderful chapter, Feli clap clap clap

You had me at the edge of my seat, nervous/excited to see what would happen next. The suspense you created was very impressive--especially for your first story. Your word choices, the details, the emotions penetrating from the character's actions...everything...it all so very much added to the feel of urgency in this part.

Like Morgana mentioned, the detail of the names of the towns as they rolled by added a lot. You've really put Lois and Clark in France notworthy.

Really looking forward to these last few parts. Getting back to Paris...Clark hopefully heading back to Metropolis with Lois after that grovel.

Great job!
Laura


"Where's Clark?" "Right here."

...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.

~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Great dramatic part. Lex is no longer a threat, and Lois and Clark are together again, headed back to Paris. She just needs to convince him to come back to Metropolis for a WAFFY ending. smile


You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie. wink
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Features Writer
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Delightful chapter. I second what everyone else has said.

Great job. Looking forward to the next part.


Cuidadora

"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor

"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly

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"Time and Sunlight, I know". Had me laughing out loud in the office...

Again kudos on you first multi-chapter effort. Love it.

Mike


Create all the happiness you are able to create.
Remove all the misery you are able to remove.

Jeremy Bentham

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You really make Luthor a nasty, mentally unstable fellow. First, Lex kills his henchmen because he merely threatens Lois's life, and then he's throwing her in locked trunks and hitting her upside the head with his gun. (I was really hoping for someone from the French bus to notice and get involved.) It's an all 'nobody but me can hurt Lois, 'cause she's my gal' sort of love. Yea for Clark's speedy (if not to him, but for us) recovery. I could definitely understand him getting mad (er... furious) at Luthor for beating Lois up. Too bad, it made him forget that Luthor had Kryptonite and probably had more. (Since Luthor isn't an eggs all in one basket kind of guy.) Looking forward to seeing how Clark explains his absence in Vienna. smile


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.

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