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#264724 07/11/15 06:50 PM
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Feedback folder.



"It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating."- Simon Pegg
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Originally Posted by NostalgiaKick
WARNING: This chapter contains a character death!

I can assure you, nobody will cry :P

Originally Posted by NostalgiaKick
He'd never met anyone else that would consider keeping lead foil in their shoe, just in case they ran across Kryptonite.
And I thought I was smart for keeping a pair of latex gloves in my dashboard! laugh

Brava! For being your first attempt at a longer story, you're developing quite a plot here... May I ask where you drew inspiration from?


Go I Know Not Whither and Fetch I Know Not What
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I actually have always wondered why Lois or Clark for that matter would not keep a sheet of lead foil on their persons for cases just like this. I believe I have read one other story that had something like this but it was long enough ago that I don't remember what it was. Lets just say it is not a common plot device. I did love Lois' comment "Why do you think it takes me so long to get through customs?". Customs would be the least of her worries, the TSA security checks now...

Great chapter and as HiddenMoon said an absolutely great first long form effort. I await each chapter.

Mike


Create all the happiness you are able to create.
Remove all the misery you are able to remove.

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Originally Posted by Mike M
I actually have always wondered why Lois or Clark for that matter would not keep a sheet of lead foil on their persons for cases just like this.


Just my two cents: one could think that a thin layer of lead wouldn't be enough to stop the radiations emitted by kryptonite... I'm glad it worked in this case, though! wink


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Originally Posted by HiddenMoon
Originally Posted by Mike M
I actually have always wondered why Lois or Clark for that matter would not keep a sheet of lead foil on their persons for cases just like this.


Just my two cents: one could think that a thin layer of lead wouldn't be enough to stop the radiations emitted by kryptonite... I'm glad it worked in this case, though! wink

Might be but it seems often a coat of lead paint, which would probably be less than the density of lead foil, can stop Clark's x-ray vision so I don't know how much it would take. We also do not know the level of radiation that Kryptonite puts out it might be a very small level that is just deadly to Kryptonians. Since all of this is made up arguing physics while discussing issues regarding a man who can fly might be considered a bit absurd... rotflol

Mike



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Originally Posted by Mike M
[Since all of this is made up arguing physics while discussing issues regarding a man who can fly might be considered a bit absurd... :rotflol
Loool... You're so right! laugh


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Originally Posted by Mike M
I did love Lois' comment "Why do you think it takes me so long to get through customs?". Customs would be the least of her worries, the TSA security checks now...

Hahaha, yeah. I haven't flown internationally since 2000, but even the domestic flight security is a lot tighter than it used to be here in Oz. Good thing these stories are set in the 90s...

Originally Posted by Mike M
Might be but it seems often a coat of lead paint, which would probably be less than the density of lead foil, can stop Clark's x-ray vision so I don't know how much it would take. We also do not know the level of radiation that Kryptonite puts out it might be a very small level that is just deadly to Kryptonians. Since all of this is made up arguing physics while discussing issues regarding a man who can fly might be considered a bit absurd...

The physics of it interests me, but you're right lol.

To be honest, this story has been the product of being home all day with two toddlers and watching too many crime shows. I love my girls but looking after two kids under the age of 4 isn't exactly mentally stimulating- though it is exhausting!



"It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating."- Simon Pegg
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Great and exciting chapter, Feli clap...

I agree--being your first longer story, I'm really impressed with the storyline...the pace, the overall feel. You have me waiting each week for another post smile. Just simply can't get enough of this story!

I had never read anything about using lead foil to cover Kryptonite--what a really great idea! And the fact that Lois can keep a piece of it tucked into her shoe? Love that wink.

The race to see who can get there first. Who will win? Can Clark protect/save Lois? So excited to read more hyper.

Great job!
Laura


"Where's Clark?" "Right here."

...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.

~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Smart solution with the hidden lead foil...just funny that Lois is basically admitting to herself that it's a matter of time before bad guys with Kryptonite will inevitably kidnap her. laugh


You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie. wink
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Another great chapter! This is a story I eagerly await each update! I'd also never guess this was your first long story. Like LMA said, great premise, and the story flows so well with its pacing and its A and B plots. clap

Mike M wrote:
Quote
I actually have always wondered why Lois or Clark for that matter would not keep a sheet of lead foil on their persons for cases just like this. I believe I have read one other story that had something like this but it was long enough ago that I don't remember what it was.

Are you thinking of A Question of Trust by Raconteur? Clark carries lead foil in that story.

I'm also surprised lead foil doesn't make more of an appearance in fanfiction. And in this story, since it's Lois who carries it, my first thought was how thoughtful of her to protect Clark. Nice to see proactive Lois using something new instead of relying only on her martial arts training.

Love the discussion about fictional physics. If something regarding science doesn't make sense to me in a story, I give the author the benefit of the doubt, figuring it makes sense in the universe of the story. lol



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Pulitzer
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Lead foil was carried by both Lois and Clark in Volume 7 of my Matchmaker Chronicles set titled Clark and Lois - Two Universes.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

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Quote
WARNING: This chapter contains a character death!
Spoiler alert, there, Feli! How about putting such things in a spoiler box, so not to ruin the surprise for the rest of us who expect henchmen to die (especially Lex's henchmen).

Quote
“You keep that in your shoe?” There was a trace of his usual humour in his voice.

“Why do you think it takes me so long to get through Customs?”
lol

That was pretty smart thinking of Lois to have lead foil in her shoe. I'm not really familiar with the substance, but wouldn't it be heavier than tin foil? Does she put it in all her shoes? wink

Quote
The element of surprise only worked in Clark's favour for a few moments. While he was somewhat restored by the sleep and the sunlight, he was only as strong as a normal, human, male. His adversary not only had the benefit of years of martial arts training, but he fought with the strength of madness.

The fight was brief but vicious, the two men trading kicks and punches as they both vied for the upper hand.
Um... Lois has years of martial arts training as well. Why doesn't she step in to relieve the tiring Clark? Wouldn't saving them be more important than not stepping on his sensitive male ego? (The only reason I can think of for her to just stand there.) Just wondering.

Quote
“Thank you, Henri. I knew I could count on you.”

He held out his hand for the gun and Henri handed it to him.

“But no one threatens Ms Lane.” As he spoke he fired one shot into Henri's abdomen. The big Frenchman toppled out of the container.
If anyone had doubts about Lex's sanity, he kindly reassured everyone with this scene that there wasn't any left.

Quote
“Where is Luthor taking Ms Lane?”

“Can't ... tell you” the dying man gasped out. “He'll ... kill me.”

“He already has.” Clark stated bluntly. “Even if I could get you to a hospital, it wouldn't make a difference.”
Good point, Clark.

Quote
Clark leant back, still keeping pressure on the gunshot wound. Chamonix was a small town high in the Alps, near the Swiss border almost 400 miles away. Somehow, he had to get there before Luthor, or he knew Luthor would disappear into the fortress he'd mentioned to Lois.
How exactly, indeed. Luthor has a head start on him and Clark has no powers.

What happened to the Kryptonite? Does Lois still have it? Does that mean that Luthor has it again? Does Clark have it? Or was it accidentally left in the shipping container?

I really liked the tender scene between Lois and Clark in the shipping container. Very sweet. Too bad their plan didn't account for Lex coming with backup. Can't wait to see if they make it to Switzerland or if they remain in Paris (as the title suggests they will. wink ) I really like your action sequences. Well written.


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Lead foil does crop up from time to time in fanfiction, but it doesn't seem to be a common solution. There was a bit in Wendy Richards' story The Healing Time (which I thoroughly recommend, if you haven't read it) where Lois makes a parcel out of a sheet of lead.

Originally Posted by VirginiaR
What happened to the Kryptonite? Does Lois still have it? Does that mean that Luthor has it again? Does Clark have it? Or was it accidentally left in the shipping container?
I'll sort all the loose ends out smile

Originally Posted by groobie
just funny that Lois is basically admitting to herself that it's a matter of time before bad guys with Kryptonite will inevitably kidnap her.
You know, I hadn't actually thought of it like that...laugh

Originally Posted by VirginiaR
How about putting such things in a spoiler box, so not to ruin the surprise for the rest of us who expect henchmen to die (especially Lex's henchmen).
Showing my ignorance here... what's a spoiler box?


"It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating."- Simon Pegg

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