Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic The Apartment (4/4)

Description: Sequel to The Letter. Superman has taken to heart some of the things Lois said in her letter. What will happen when one of Lucy's granddaughters turns up to contest part of Aunt Lois' will?
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Chapter 4

"Lauren." Clark was staring at her in shock, his mouth wide. Suddenly the shock changed to joy and she saw his eyes light up and his mouth curl into a smile. "Lauren. I'm so glad you've come round. You left so quickly last night. What happened?"

"I, uh." She gulped. "Maybe I'll tell you later, okay? Can I come in?" She looked up at him, hopefully.

"Sure." He moved to the side and opened the door wider so that she could enter the apartment.

"Do you want to watch the James Bond movie, then? I never watched it last night." His voice was bright and cheery.

Lauren turned around to see him closing the door. When he turned back and met her eyes she could see his genuine desire to make her at ease - to make her happy - written all over his face. She'd run out last night, before they had watched even a second of the film. He'd been meaning to watch a film that evening, even if she didn't come around. Yet, he'd obviously decided not to watch it once she left. Probably, he hoped she'd come back another time and they could enjoy it together.

The only question was … why would he want her to come round again? Was it a 'friend only' thing, or was there a chance that he could feel something for her, the way that she felt for him?

But after all her constant cyclical thinking last night at home … she'd come to the conclusion that he couldn't. Either he just didn't want a relationship with a women, or he'd been in love with Aunt Lois - and probably still was, if the depth of her love for him was any indication, or he'd be reminded of Lois whenever he saw her, or he would make the same decision to serve the world rather than love …

He was still waiting for an answer and she was just staring at him.

"Lauren?"

"Uh, no. I'm not here to watch a movie. At least, not tonight." In fact, she didn't really know why she was here … except that it had something to do with regrets … and not having any. It was the same reason that she'd come round last night - not having regrets. She didn't want to regret not 'going for it' with Clark. But that was before she knew he was the Clark. Clark Kent. So … this night's regrets, or the reason for not having regrets was probably more to do with cowardice. She'd toyed with the idea of never seeing him again, due to fear of having to confront all his history, all his celebrity. But that was cowardly. Aunt Lois would never have run from such an awkward situation just because she was afraid to face it. The reason she'd never told Clark her feelings … was due to him being dead! But now … he was somehow 'alive' again … with a new identity.

So she'd convinced herself to come. But had no idea what to say, what to do, now that she was here.

"Is everything all right? You said you'd tell me what caused you to leave …" There was a gentle smile on Clark's face

"I said maybe …"

"Then if we are not going to watch a movie, and you're not going to tell me, then … why are you here?" His smile had faded, to be replaced by a concerned frown.

"I … can we just sit? And maybe talk. And a coffee would be nice."

"Of course. Coffee." Clark nodded, acquiescing to her desire to change the subject, and strode into the kitchen. Lauren stood in place, unable to move. If she took a step towards the kitchen, towards Clark, then she was bound to blurt something out. Something inappropriate, or embarrassing, or worse. If she moved to the couch then she could drop into her familiar position. They'd slip into watching the movie, and she'd let the evening just drift on …

She lifted her hand to her forehead, unable to make a decision. How did she want to proceed? Did she want to confront him, or just let everything meander on as normal? She was still in that position when Clark returned from the kitchen. He placed two mugs onto the coffee table and sat on the couch. "Lauren, please sit down." He spoke gently. She drifted over to the couch, almost as if invisible strings were pulling her to Clark. She perched at the very far end. Further from Clark than she'd ever placed herself, even on the very first visit, when he was a stranger. "Lauren," Clark sighed and then smiled, encouragingly. "Please tell me what is wrong." He lifted a hand and motioned up and down, clearly indicating her choice of seating and her uncomfortable stance. "Please."

Lauren forced herself to shuffle along and settle back, after picking up her coffee. "I'm sorry Clark. I can't say … yet." Clark opened his mouth as if to plead with her again. She could see the distress on his face. He hated to see her hurting. Whether that was just his natural compassion, which had led him to devote himself to saving the world for sixty years, or whether it was because he had … feelings for her, she didn't know. She desperately hoped it was the latter. "No, Clark. I'm sorry. Just leave it, please." She cut him off before he could say something. "Maybe we should watch the movie."

"If that’s what you want, Lauren. But I have to let you know that I'm worried about you. You know you can tell me anything. At least let me know that you are not in trouble, or worried about something."

"It's nothing to worry about, Clark. I'm not in trouble. Really, I'm not." She had to repeat herself at the look on his face; a look of true concern. Suddenly a passage from Wanda and the Entrepreneur came back to her and she remembered Charlie constantly worrying about Wanda, and how she got herself into trouble. With what Lauren now knew, she recognised that Clark must have been constantly worried about Aunt Lois, mostly because of her propensity for life-threatening situations, but also because of his hero complex, and feeling responsible for the safety of the world. "If we watch the movie, maybe I'll relax and feel like opening up," she offered in the hope that he would drop the subject - for now. Maybe she would know how she wanted to approach this situation by the time the movie was over.

"Okay." Clark reached forward and picked up the remote from the coffee table. "T.V. on," he spoke into it as he relaxed back. Once the T.V. had sprung to life he spoke again. "InstaWatch. Nation of Deception." Lauren watched as half the screen displayed a picture of the James Bond movie, and the other half of the screen listed alternative choices, in case the remote had misinterpreted the instructions. Lauren smiled to herself, glancing down the list and seeing National Deception 1 & 2, Natural Detection, The Nature of Deception, Natalie Note: Teen Detective, and 'Wallace and Gromit's' Cheese of Deception.

When she heard a chuckle come from beside her she turned to see Clark trying hard not to laugh. "Cheese of Deception?" she questioned. He nodded and his grin grew even more. "Maybe we should watch that next?"

"Maybe," he replied and turned to beam at her. She grinned back, and all her worry dissipated. Clark was still Clark. Even if he did have a pretty awesome and awe-inspiring second job. Even if he was half a century older than her. Even if she was in love. Even if he didn't love her back.

He was still Clark. Her best friend. The man who comforted her through the worst of her grief when Aunt Lois died. The man who made her laugh, and smile. The man who made her heart pound with a single look.

There was no need to worry, no need for nerves. Whatever happened tonight … if she told him how she felt, or if she instead revealed she knew his secret, or even if it was just a completely normal night … she knew that everything was all right. Clark would always look after her, always be her friend.

She felt a weight lift from her chest and a gentle smile settled on her face. She leaned back into the comfortable cushions and watched as the movie started and the familiar production company opening credits began to roll up. She was momentarily thrown back to the previous evening, at home, after her abrupt departure.

She'd watched The Resurrection of Al Capone, after doing as much research on Clark Kent as she could in two hours, and it had been the exact same production company. The internet was full of information, but pictures were actually few and far between. Still, she'd found enough to confirm her suspicions, and leave her with not even a sliver of doubt in her mind, especially once she had discovered that Clark Kent's father was called Jonathan, so he was 'Jonathan's son' - Jonson - and that his mother's maiden name was Clark. Needing to understand even more about this extraordinary man she'd gone to the only other source … the movie. While it had shed light on a few questions, she now understood why Aunt Lois had refused to watch it, stating that it was too far removed from the truth. Lauren could now read between the lines of that comment too. Clark Kent didn't actually die. And the scenes between Lois and Superman … well they were utter fiction.

And this new revelation also explained why she'd left her apartment to The Superman Foundation. It was really the only way to leave Clark something in her will without raising even the tiniest of suspicions. Legacies in wills, especially legacies of homes, were very popular. There would be no questions raised.

The iconic 'Duh du-dl-uh-duuuuuh de de de, duh du-dl-uh-duuuuuh de de de,' music began playing and James Bond walked through the 'bullet's eye view' then shot at the screen. Lauren jumped a little at the gunshot as she'd been too lost in her thoughts. Clark turned at her sudden jerk and smiled. He lifted his arm and put it round her shoulders then drew her close. Her heart skipped a beat. "Is this okay?" he asked. She nodded, mutely, while looking up into his face. "I've heard it's the most action-filled Bond film yet. If you are feeling a little jumpy … maybe I should just stay like this." He grinned and she realised that he was trying to distract her in his generally friendly manner. When she didn't laugh in agreement, or make a comment back, he frowned. She saw a little crinkle in his forehead as he drew his brows together. "Lauren?" He sounded serious again.

She couldn't think, she couldn't breathe. Her heart was racing. The calm, brought on by her realisation that everything would be alright, had vanished. This was the very scenario she had been hoping for last night when Clark had suggested watching a movie. But everything was different now that she knew who he really was. And she still didn't know what her motivation for visiting this evening was. She knew what her true heart's desire was, but she also had a very pragmatic side. Part of her knew that some people had responsibilities that came before love. And part of her also knew that she was not worthy of what she wished for. Her view of herself … her ego … was pretty low.

And she knew she could never live up to her Aunt. This man … this Superman … had loved Aunt Lois with a rare passion … if Lauren understood everything she'd learned from the internet, from the Wanda Detroit books and from her Aunt. And she, in no way, compared to the legend that was Lois Lane.

"Clark," she choked out on a strangled breath. Tears welled up and immediately rolled down her cheeks.

"Oh, Lauren. Please tell me what's wrong. Whatever it is … I'll make it better. I promise."

"I need …" she paused and licked her lips. Clark tightened his arm around her shoulder. It was so like her hopes from yesterday evening.

"What, what is it you need?" His face was so close. His voice so gentle.

"I …" Again she paused, unable to speak the words, but getting more and more lost in her fantasy. Passing the point of no return she gave in to the desire of her heart and pushed up, her lips meeting his.

Clark parted his lips in shock. He'd been worried about Lauren since she fled, suddenly, last night. His relief, at seeing her at the door, had been great, but only lasted a few seconds once he realised there was still something wrong. He'd been trying to encourage her to open up, but also wanted to be a truly supportive and understanding friend, and not push where it wasn't wanted. His comforting 'arm around the shoulder' had resulted in a most unexpected … but not unpleasant … outcome.

He pulled away, gently pushing against her shoulders. While the meeting of his lips with hers had been brief, he still felt their loss, significantly. He had no misconceptions about his attraction to this small women in his arms. She'd been in his dreams almost every night since her first visit. But he was also under the impression that this attraction was only because his subconscious was using her as a substitute for Lois. She deserved better than that. She deserved someone who could love her as Lauren, rather than Faux Lois. Someone who could grow old with her rather than look only three more years older at her funeral. Someone … who wasn't old enough to be her grandfather.

Lauren moaned, almost inaudibly, and pushed back up to meet his lips again. Clark was prepared this time, and pushed again at her shoulders. She opened her eyes and dropped her head, moving away. Clark felt her moving away emotionally too, and regretted his actions immediately. He'd hurt her and that had not been his intention.

"I'm sorry, Clark." She pulled further away. "I should never have done that. I'll go." She moved to stand and he tightened his hands on her shoulders.

"No. Lauren, don't. You did nothing wrong. I'm the one who pushed you away. And not for any reason that you think."

"Clark … I …"

"Lauren," he interrupted her, then paused and sighed. "Tell me what's wrong, please?" When she didn't continue, or reply, he lifted a hand from one shoulder and brushed it across her cheek. "Why did you come tonight? Why did you run last night? What's going on?"

Clark watched as Lauren's eyes sparkled brightly with moisture and sadness. She tilted her head into his hand and he automatically cupped her cheek. Her eyes closed as she burrowed into his palm and a tear escaped, travelling down her cheek and into his hand.

"I need to know something, Clark," she whispered, her eyes still closed.

"What?"

She opened her eyes and lifted her head up straight. "How you feel about me."

Clark pulled his hand away suddenly, as if burned, although that was not physically possible. He should have seen this coming when she'd tried to kiss him. But the kiss itself had come as such a surprise. He'd never suspected that Lauren had a romantic interest in him. She was always so vibrant and full of energy - not counting any moments of grief, which were now less frequent than they had been. She'd never shown any signs of nervousness, or flirtation. Nothing which would have clued him in to this scenario. She'd been the perfect 'friend'.

Plus, he had to admit, that he'd compared her to her Aunt. Lois had taken months to warm up to him, and a year or more to fall in love. He'd expected the same of Lauren … Not that she'd eventually 'fall in love' but that she would take time to create some kind of emotional attachment, such as friendship.

Possibly he needed to tell his subconscious to stop comparing her to Lois. She was her own woman.

"I must admit that I'm attracted to you. But I have to be honest … I think it's because you remind me of someone. And you should be loved as Lauren, not as a substitute for someone else."

"You're attracted to me?"

"Truthfully … yes." He stood and began to pace, running his hand through his hair. "But it's more complicated than that, Lauren."

"What's complicated about attraction, Clark." She stood too. "I think it's one of the simplest things in the world."

He shook his head slowly. "There's so much you don't know, don't understand."

"But I do." She stepped forward. "I understand better than you realise. You see … I'm just like my Aunt. She was in love with a man called Clark. She would have given up everything to be with him. I'm just like her." Clark sucked in a shocked breath. Lauren thought she was 'in love' with him. She wasn't just talking about attraction. "But I don't want to be," she continued. "She never told him. She never got to spend her life with him." She paused and gulped. Clark watched her as her, barely visible, Adam's apple bobbed up and down. "I need to know something. Aunt Lois missed out on something … special … in her life. I don't want to miss it … if there is a chance. I need to know. Is there a chance. Could you … love me, the way you loved her?"

"What?" Clark paled and stepped away.

"At least … I think you loved her. I know she loved you, and I've read her books five times, remember. I can read between the lines. I even went home and watched The Resurrection of Al Capone last night, and I re-read a lot of your joint articles. Then there was the memoirs that Perry White published. He … he said that when you died he lost a great reporter, but he also lost a son, and he was convinced that you were in love with her … that you two would get together in the end."

"Lauren, I …"

"She regretted never telling you. I'm just like Aunt Lois, and I'm not like her too. She was in love with a man named Clark Kent. I'm just like her. But, she never told him that she loved him. I don't want to be like her in that."

Clark looked down at his feet and put his hands in his pockets. Turning away he took a few steps before turning back. "You're nothing like her. She used to frustrate me. I'd worry about her all the time. Always be on edge. Never relaxed." He took his hands out of his pockets and raised one to gesture at her. "With you, I feel at peace. It took me months to earn her trust. You trusted me immediately. She took two years to figure out I was Superman. You took two months."

As those words hit the air - verbalised, rather than hidden away in the corners of his mind - Clark realised that Lauren really was nothing like Lois … and yet he was still attracted to her. He still … wanted her. His heart began to pound in shock and wonder. He loved Lauren … because she was Lauren.

"I know you loved her. Probably still do."

He nodded. "Always will." He knew the truth of his statement, but he actually wasn't thinking about Lois at that moment. He was letting himself truly see the small woman standing in front of him, offering him her heart … her life.

"I know. And I know that you love the world. Superman's capacity for love and compassion is … never ending. You have room in your heart for so many people … for the whole world. But, what about individuals, friends … what about romantic love. Are you sure there is no room in your heart for another?"

"I think …" he paused and stepped forward. "There is." Reaching up a hand he cupped her cheek as he had done back at the beginning of this conversation. Ever so slowly he lowered his head until his lips brushed hers. Clark felt a breath whisper past his lips as Lauren sighed. He straightened back up and watched as she opened her eyes, dreamily.

"Lois left me a letter," he began. Lauren nodded but he could see a sudden wariness in her eyes, as if she were afraid to hear what was coming. "In it she told me to live again. Well, I started doing that a few months ago, but I have to admit that, while I'm seriously enjoying having a life, my new career … whenever you visit it feels like when Lois and I were partners, I feel 'alive'. She also told me to love again. She wanted me to find someone who would love me. She wondered if that person would be just like her … or completely the opposite. Strangely enough … she is both. That person is you. Oh, I don't think she ever suspected that it was literally you, Lauren, but you fulfil her criteria, perfectly."

"Are you saying you love me?"

"I'm saying I could love you. I possibly already do. I know I'm actually severely attracted to you. I know that I respect you. I miss you when you are not here. I … I want you in my life. In fact, the first day you visited, my subconscious seemed to know that you belonged here. And now I know that it's not just the apartment that you belong in, but it's me you belong with. Lauren, I'd like to give this a try. If … if you think you can deal with all my complications."

"Clark …" She let her eyes wander around his face. "No regrets," she whispered to herself. Pushing up on her tiptoes her lips met his and, this time, he didn't push away.

THE END

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