Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Newsworthy 9/25

So, this is actually one of the first conversations I wrote for this story, long before anything but the first chapter existed. Looking forward to hearing what you think of it!

Aargh...I knew this line was coming, and I cried again anyway! Darn it! This is just devastating - that he can't see that Clark needs to exist so that he can be Superman, that his life as Clark is what emotionally grounds him and allows him to don the persona. Lois murdered Clark with that article, stole the stability of his Clark life - now she can see the true consequences of her actions. Heartbreaking (but so well done!).

So very, very sad. Is there any way to step back from the cliff face that is behind you? Lois has killed Clark Kent, so how else can Clark be anyone but Superman all the time? He no longer has any other option. Lois took it away from him.

I know this Clark and this Superman have nothing to do with the one from the Christopher Reeve film, but that's how he treated his Clark Kent persona... as unimportant, as something to mock, and make fun of... not as who he actually was. This is why L&C spoke volumes to me. It never made sense that Clark would look at his life in this manner. Clark Kent is the hero; Superman is merely a means to an end.

The world may not need Clark Kent, but Martha, Jonathan, James, and Lois do. You demonstrated that very well by that dinner scene at the beginning. They NEED him, and HE needs them to NEED Clark. If only for an hour a day. He needs to be able to turn off the persona and be himself for part of a day. Nobody can last long (even if they don't need to eat or sleep very much) if they spend their entire life in the limelight. Sometimes, even actors, need to step off the stage and take off the mask.

I understand Lois's tears, as she was the one who stuck the knife in Clark's heart and killed him, but I wanted her to stand up and yell, "I NEED CLARK KENT!" Yet, how can she say that, when it was she who killed him? I feel as if she's MacBeth's wife, trying to get rid of the blood on her hands.

So sad. I have no idea how either of them can be rescued from this point. They have reached a stalemate. Thank goodness you have written many more parts! Phew. It can't get any worse than... I didn't write that. Ignore that sentence. PLEASE! Can this be the worst? Knowing your stories, I'm guessing it won't be. I settle down in my corner with my hands covering my eyes, peering through my fingers to see what shoe you'll drop next.

I have been following your story with mixed feelings. On the one hand, I love your writing, absolute love how you portray the characters. On the other hand, it's such a sad story that I'm always at the verge of skipping the next part. But I never can, because it's also really beautiful.
All this time, I'm wondering if you're going to put your toys back in the box - if that is possible anyway. The whole premise does not make it very likely. I keep hoping anyway.

Thanks for sharing.

Wow.

Like Bakasi, I don't see a way out of this. Fortunately, I'm not telling this tale. I have confidence that you will, after showing us Lois' heart (filleted and diced and sliced and totally shredded and completely exposed) and her pain, you will allow Superman's support team (Jonathan, Martha, and James) to convince Superman that Lois deserves the same second chance that Superman got with the world after Nightfall.

Of course, Lois will have to convince the doubters that she would be a good addition to the team. Right now that doesn't seem very likely. You are doing such a wonderful job of showing us the depths of grief and regret (for her actions, for her lost opportunities) that it would almost be a shame to resolve this dilemma somehow.

Please note that I said "almost." I'm sure you'll give Lois some peace. And I'm sure that Clark will come back. If Clark's attitude toward his flashy alter-ego ("Superman is what I do. Clark Kent is who I am.") is still valid, he'll eventually realize that he needs to get out of the Suit sometimes. And if his compassion wasn't crushed out of him by Lois' story and by Nightfall, if he hasn't transferred that focus from individuals to the world at large, if he hasn't started keeping track of the lives he saves like a giant pinball machine (Ding! A life saved! Whack! A crime prevented! Boing! A disaster averted!), he'll see that Lois is in just as much pain as he.

Now, I'd like to comment on the style of this story.

Writing in the present tense is hard. It's very difficult to maintain the focus on the "now" moment without slipping into the universal, all-seeing eye narrative style. Very few people can write this way.

And you're one of them.

Were I to be asked, I wouldn't recommend this technique for any writer. But so far you have not only pulled it off, you've made it a necessary part of the way the story is unfolding. You've pulled us into Lois' mind and heart and shown us both in real time! This is so hard to do (I repeat myself), but you have captured it - and Lois - for us with your style.

And I have grown to love the little parenthetical asides, too. They are even more difficult to master, but you are on top of them all the time. They intrude without intruding, stretching out the "now" that we're in as we see Lois' thought bunnies skitter about almost aimlessly but always making it back home. It really contributes to Lois' sense of aimlessness and loss of situational control, two things she's lived by for so long but which she now must live without (and it's tearing her mind and heart into pieces).

I wasn't sure about any of this at first, but for this story it not only works, the story wouldn't be anywhere close to being this powerful without you telling it this way. I applaud you, Anti-K. Not only are you telling us a new tale, you're telling it in a new way, and you're telling it with skill and sensitivity. Were there a Kerth award for style, you'd sweep the voting and win going away.

Thank you.

Dammit. My allergies are flaring up again.

All that time at dinner, smiling, watching his family. Clark Kent is the mask now, a charade acted out for his family and for Jimmy.

It's a good thing that Lois (or Lois as she was) has a slight tendency to cry foul on that kind of BS.

This line had me screaming, "No!" One of the aspects I've always loved about Lois & Clark is that Clark is just as important as Superman. You can't have one without the other. (Well, Virginia does bring up the point that Christopher Reeves plays it that way but the movies aren't the same as the show.) Superman alone is a shell and you're showing that so well.

Lois' belief in Superman and support was always so critical and we can see Clark is lacking because of that as well.

Joan

Lois killed Clark and Superman is killing himself.

Wow. And I thought the previous parts had been powerful.

Have I mentioned lately that your writing style for this story fits it perfectly? The myriad parenthetical comments and false starts to sentences perfectly captures Lois's uncertain and confused state.

If I started quoting all of the lines that affected me, I would be quoting pretty much this entire part, but one of the lines that hit me hardest was, . The lines that sucker-punched me, though, were the ones where Clark was stating so matter-of-factly that his being Clark Kent was just a selfish fantasy and that Clark wasn't needed.

Looking forward to part 10.

Joy,
Lynn

I think I am as numb as Lois is right about now / / / .

Oh. My. Goodness.

What Clark is revealing is so much more painful, so much more damaging, so much more...hopeless. For the first time (honestly so far in this story) I'm even wondering if this can be fixed . And I tend to be quite the 'hold out' for the 'happily ever after' ending usually...


This is where I really started to worry. Lois' remark was about as close to 'Lois' as I've seen so far in the story--I loved her comment for how normal it sounded . And I loved it for how annoyed she was. Lois annoyed at Clark: Classic. Perfect. Normal.

Clark didn't take the bait. He normally would have. He would have smiled. Responded. Volleyed it back right at her.

It felt so foreign that he wasn't 'in' the conversation. That chemistry, that carried through so much, is just...gone.


Me either. WOW. If he is 'here'--thinking that being himself is something that he can no longer be because he doesn't deserve to be so--he is just completely off the mark. Gut-wrenching.

These two paragraphs hit me harder than the final blow of:


And that was only because I was still reeling from the initial shock of Clark being so far 'off'... thinking that selfishness equated to being who you really are and want to be. It's heart-breaking to think that someone, someone so good, could also be so lost.

The only consolation in my head--cause I've been trying to 'spin' this now for a few days --is that he's telling all of this to Lois. He's not being 'on' for her--The Clark Kent at Dinner. 'Clark Kent' for his parents, for Jimmy/James. They see him as getting better. Taking that second helping onto his plate. Smiling. Lois--now--knows so much more.

Clark's always felt that connection to Lois, right from the beginning. I think he knows that he won't be able to fool her, for long anyway. He needs to be able to tell someone how lost he is...and he can't afford to hurt/disappoint the ones that were sitting at the dinner table. Lois though? She's already hurt him. She's not 'in' the group. I think there's solace there maybe for Clark.

Maybe by being a safe confidant, someone that Clark can honestly be miserable with, Lois will become so much more. And knowing Lois--and how stubborn she is--maybe she'll be able to pull Clark out of the scary place he currently is in.

Please? I hope so....cause I'm running out of ways to 'fix' this. And that, Anti-K, is a complete testiment to how amazing of a writer you are--making me analyze this story frontwards, backwards, and upside down .
Laura

I was made aware that my feedback might be considered as negative. I certainly didn't mean it that way. I was trying to say that the way you portray your characters - you make me feel with them and ache for them. I enjoy reading this story, even though it makes me kind of sad to see Lois and Clark in so much trouble. I hope you understood it that way.

Yay! Finally getting a chance to read this! (It's been a long, long week.)


I love this.


An this is where it hurts for her, because she knows she could have genuinely felt like a part of this family.


Ooh, is Lois going to talk to Clark a bunch when she goes off to bed later?


Ah, to be swallowed up by the idea of "celebrity" status. The pain has to be extra deep for him now, because he knows that they knew he's Clark.


Even before then. From the first moment Superman appeared, the man was swallowed up by the avatar.





Yay!





Annnnnnnd there's the knife in my heart.



Lois, here's where you tell him that's not true and how much you've missed him.



Aaaannd...I'm crying along with Lois. So, so, so sad. Lois, go to your room and start talking to Clark, hoping he'll hear you. Please? Pretty please?

Hey, you missed your posting schedule. I hope everything is okay with you and your story! I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next.

Hey, so sorry I'm late replying and posting! My sister came for a week-long visit, which meant that on top of work, I wasn't getting a lot of sleep either. And, as I'm sure you all could have warned me, that means I ended up sick. But I'm feeling better now, and starting to catch up on everything, so I'm back -- sorry to keep you waiting! Thank you for all the feedback for this chapter!

Glad you enjoy it even the second time around, groobie! I count it a success when it's emotionally compelling even when you know what's coming.

Things definitely are bad, aren't they, VirginiaR? I HOPE there's a way back from all this, but we'll see -- the end is proving somewhat troublesome, so who knows what will happen? Ever since discovering the differences between Golden Age Superman (which the CR movies are based off of) and the modern age of Superman (which L&C is based off of), I have realized how much more I love the idea that Clark is the person and Superman the disguise. Though it didn't start out that way, this story has become something of a way of exploring what it would take to turn our L&C Clark into something more closely resembling CR's Superman. I'll try to ignore that you said things couldn't get worse, but don't blame me - the next parts were already written BEFORE you wrote that!

It is a very difficult premise, bakasi, I completely understand (and I didn't see your feedback as negative at all). I have a hard time addressing it myself, and I'm the one writing it! I don't know that I can promise everything will be put back the way it was, but I'll do my best to leave them at least vaguely recognizable.

Thanks for such lovely feedback, Terry! I do see a way out for the characters -- it's just getting smaller and farther away all the time! There will be some resolution, though I think at this point Lois has to convince the readers, as well as Clark's family, that she can be an asset rather than a liability. I'm very relieved that you enjoy the writing style; it is very different, and I worried about whether it would be readable or not, but it did seem the best way to tell the story. The best way I know to write in present tense is just, basically, NOT to think of it that way, but to think of where Lois is in her head at all times. As to the parenthetical asides, I really like doing them, but try to limit myself (and speaking of, you seem to have quite a good grasp of them youself!). I love the way you called them 'Lois's thought bunnies,' because that's exactly what they are and how I use them! Thank you, again, for such lovely encouragement (and for your vote in a new Kerth category ), and I hope the rest of the story doesn't disappoint.

Love the way you phrased that, Bean22, about Clark being the mask now! That really is the crux of it, isn't it?

Clark DOES need someone knowing him and believing in him, scifiJoan -- excellent point! That's one of the reasons I've really enjoyed writing James in this story, to see Clark getting that support from someone in a completely different capacity, sort of as a way of showing that he really needs, not just anyone, but LOIS to believe in him.

Very true, SJH. Hopefully, there's some hope around here somewhere, though!

Thank you, Lynn! This is an incredibly emotional and introspective story, so I was delighted to hear that it is ringing true for you!

I always enjoy your feedback, LMA, precisely because you don't hold back. So I hope you don't take it wrong when I say that I smiled to read that you were beginning to wonder if there was a way back for Lois and Clark. Lois herself doesn't know that they can recover (to use that dreaded word again ), so it makes me feel like I did my job to hear that the reader is wondering the same thing. I, too, really liked the line about Lois sniping that she needs food multiple times a day, and it is heartbreaking that Clark didn't respond to it as he would have once. We're finally getting past the polite niceties -- the socially acceptable lies, as groobie called them -- and seeing what really lies beneath. Clark does see Lois as something different from his family, but whether that's a good or bad thing, I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Not weird at all, LWhite! I'm glad you're enjoying the slow build of the story, particularly since I worried (and bothered my beat-readers) quite a bit about the timing and pacing of this story. And hey, glad that you're happy about the extra chapters -- I should know better by now than to think that I'll be able to keep to a shorter word count!

It would be nice if Lois started talking to Clark under her breath, wouldn't it, DC? But as much as Clark chose silence as his defense against the expectations of the world, Lois has kind of chosen it as a way to avoid her guilt, too. Sorry I made you wait an extra long time for the next chapter!

Thank you, everyone, for reading and reviewing! I'll try not to leave you hanging so long again!

And thank you for the good wishes, Virginia -- I really hadn't realized so much time had gotten away from me!