Previously on Seed of Doubt...
"I remember when you first went to Metropolis," Jonathan said, smiling. "I remember how excited you were for the opportunity to follow your dreams. But more than that, you said you wanted a normal life."
"To find a woman to love and have a family of my own," Clark finished for him.
"Mmm-hmm." Jonathan nodded. "I hoped you would manage to make that dream a reality. But I was worried for you too. I knew you could never make a life with someone unless she knew your secret. It was a terrifying thought. But when you found Lois, and once your mother and I met her, we knew. She was the one for you. She alone could be trusted with the enormity of the secret we three have shared for almost thirty years."
"I know," Clark agreed. "Not a day had gone by since I met Lois that I haven't been grateful that our paths wound up crossing. She completes me in a way that I never thought was possible. Having this baby with her, regardless of his or her actual parentage...it's my every dream come true."
"Well, there's one piece missing," Jonathan said.
"A marriage."
"Only if you think the time is right," his father cautioned.
Clark nodded. "I think it is. Now that Lois knows everything, and I mean everything, and I know that she still accepts and loves me, yeah, I think I'll ask her soon. Just...not quite yet. It's so early into our relationship as a couple - as a completely honest couple, that I don't want to get ahead of myself. I want Lois to really have a chance to decide for herself if she wants to marry me, and not feel like it's just the next logical step for a couple who are expecting a baby."
Jonathan reached into the breast pocket of his shirt. "Then you'll want this." He handed a slip of folded paper to Clark.
Clark looked at it curiously for a second before accepting it. He unfolded it to find that it was a check, made out in his mother's neat handwriting. The amount it was written for staggered him.
"Dad, what is this?" he managed after a minute, peering up at his father, who bore a self-satisfied smile.
"That's a little something to get you two started," Jonathan said.
"This is not a little something," Clark argued, shaking his head. "I can't accept this."
"You can and you will," Jonathan said, closing Clark's hand over the check. "It's yours. Use it as you see fit."
"Dad, I can't take this. You and mom need it more than I do. I make a good salary at the Planet. And I've been saving up for a ring for a while now. I have more than enough stashed away for what I've been thinking about getting for her."
"Then use it for the wedding, or for the baby," Jonathan said gently. "This is your money. Your mother and I started saving from the day we found you. We bought a lot of bonds, when we could. Some years, we were able to put away more for you than others, that's true, depending on how the crops turned out. But, no matter what, we always found a way to set some money aside for you. We always intended it to be used for your education. Then you had that football scholarship that covered the entirety of your college tuition. So we kept saving, thinking that you could use the money for graduate school or a house or whatever it was that you wanted to use it for."
"But you and mom..."
"Are fine. Trust me, Clark, your mother and I have more than enough saved up for ourselves. We've never looked at this money as anything but yours. Even those times when the crops failed and money got tight, we never touched this money, never considered using it for anything else other than for you."
"Are you sure about this?" Clark couldn't help but ask.
"Absolutely."
"I don't quite know what to say here," Clark admitted, "except thank you. And even that feels miserably inadequate."
"You don't have to say anything," Jonathan reassured him. "Your mother and I are thrilled that we were able to do this for you. We want you to have the most comfortable life you can have. Even if we can only offer small gestures like this."
"Dad, this is not a small gesture. This is a sizable down payment on a home. In fact, that's exactly what it might become," Clark said, his mind beginning to race as he thought about what he'd just said. "With the baby coming, even if Lois doesn't want to get married - and I really hope that's not the case - it might not be a bad idea for us to buy a place, or find a bigger apartment that we can share, so we don't have to split our time with the baby."
"Good idea," Jonathan said, and Clark could see the familiar twinkle in his father's eyes.
Clark said nothing. He only nodded and embraced his father, hoping that his dad could feel his appreciation and love through that simple gesture. Jonathan returned the hug, slapping Clark's back lightly in a loving manner. After a moment, they both pulled away at some unspoken signal. Clark pocketed the check after carefully placing it in his wallet. Then he cleared his throat before speaking.
"So, where do you want that filing cabinet?" he finally managed to ask, making his father laugh deeply.
***
"Ah, Nigel. So good of you to visit me," Lex Luthor said from behind the thick sheet of bullet-proof glass that separated him from any visitors who might come to see him or any of his fellow inmates.
Nigel inclined his head in acknowledgement. "Sir, I bring news."
"Oh?" Lex asked, not allowing himself to show anything but a calm, composed exterior. "Good or bad?"
"That depends."
"On what?"
"It's about the Lane woman," Nigel said through the phone that connected the two sides of the glass.
"Lois?" That got Lex's attention.
"One of my associates swears that she's about five months pregnant."
"Pregnant?" He couldn't help the surprise from suffusing his voice.
Nigel nodded. "She, ah, happens to work in Lane's doctor's office. She puts the date of conception right around the time you two, ah..." His voice trailed off.
"I see," Lex said, giving away nothing about what he felt on the matter. "Is your associate sure of this?"
"Quite."
"I see," Lex repeated. He held the phone between his ear and his shoulder, steepling his fingers before him in a thoughtful matter.
"There is something else," Nigel said, though hesitantly.
"And that would be...?" Lex pressed.
"Well, she swears that Lane is claiming that Clark Kent is the father."
"Kent?" he asked, the name burning his tongue like acid. God, how he hated that man.
Nigel nodded in affirmation. "That's what I'm told, yes."
"Is Lois certain of this?" He hated to ask, but he had to know.
"From what my associate has been able to gather, no. There's been no DNA test."
"Interesting," Lex mused. "Nigel, be a friend, would you? Call..."
"Your lawyer," Nigel finished for him. "I've already taken the liberty. He'll be here in the morning."
Lex cracked a tiny smile. "Whatever would I do without you, my old friend?"
Nigel allowed himself a matching smile. "Yes, what indeed?"
Lex allowed himself a slight chuckle. But his heart wasn't in it. Lois' pregnancy, assuming Nigel's informant had the truth of it, was something he hadn't really planned on. One stupid mistake one night, and now he was living in a nightmare - exposed as a rapist, crime boss, and now possibly with yet another illegitimate child on the way.
Sheldon Bender, his ever loyal, if not completely trustworthy, lawyer would see to all of the details to sweep this whole thing under the rug. Still, it was almost a nice thought to think that the woman Lex loved was carrying his child. If the informant was right. If it really was his child she carried.
If.
So much doubt from one little word.
***
"Miss Lane?"
Lois looked up from her desk at the messenger boy who'd called her name. Clark, too, looked up instinctively from his work at his own desk. He was ever alert and aware of any potential threats to the woman he loved more than his own life. He knew, just by the man's voice, that he wasn't one of the regular messengers on the Daily Planet's payroll. And he wasn't one of the regulars he'd gotten to know from S.T.A.R. Labs or any of their other, regular sources.
"Yes?" Lois asked.
"This is for you. Sign here please."
Lois distractedly took the pen and signed where the short, balding man pointed. He handed her an envelope, turned on his heel, and strode away. Clark stood, stretched subtly, then crossed the aisle to Lois.
"Is that the research we've been waiting on?" he asked as he sat on the edge of her desk.
Lois' brow furrowed. "Doesn't look like anything we're waiting on. Actually, it's kind of thin, this envelope." She took up her letter opener and deftly sliced the envelope open. She extracted the contents, unfolded the paper, and read.
"What?!" she said, a little too loudly. Around them, their coworkers looked over at them.
"What is it?" Clark asked, ignoring the stares, too concerned for Lois to care.
"It's from Sheldon Bender."
"Luthor's lawyer?" Clark asked.
Lois nodded. "Lex must have found out about the baby somehow. He's filed to obtain a court ordered paternity test."
"What?" Clark asked, aghast. Having Luthor seek a paternity test was a scenario he'd never once imagined.
"I'm being ordered to show up to court on September twenty-second." She crumbled the edges of the paper as her fists clenched.
Clark slipped from his perch to stand behind Lois. He lightly placed his hands on her shoulders.
"You mean we are being ordered to show up to court," he said. "We're in this together. Whatever happens to one of us, happens to both of us."
"Thanks," she said wearily. "Oh, Clark. How did he find out?"
Clark sighed and shrugged, though he continued to lightly massage Lois' shoulders.
"The man has eyes and ears everywhere. And it's getting harder to hide the fact that this baby is on his or her way."
"Why?" Lois asked, seeming to ask the universe more than Clark himself. "Why would he want a paternity test?"
"Because he's Luthor," Clark said. "Because he needs to feel like he's the one in control, even when he isn't."
"But why would he want even acknowledge this child?"
"To protect himself, most likely," Clark said. "He wants to prove he isn't the father before you can sue for child support. At least, that's what makes the most sense to me. What he'll do when he finds out the truth of this baby's parentage though..." Again, he shrugged.
"Supposed parentage," Lois automatically corrected him.
"Supposed parentage," he echoed hollowly.
She always corrected him whenever he spoke of the absolute certainty that the baby wasn't his. She was persistent, and Clark had long since given up trying to argue the science that said that there was zero chance that he was the biological father. He usually just went along with whatever Lois said, just wanting her to be happy, though it still cut him to his very heart to know that he could never actually father a child with Lois.
"So, what do we do?" Lois asked.
Clark shook his head. "I'm not sure. Hire a lawyer, I suppose."
"A lawyer," Lois said distractedly, appearing to be reading over the court summons again.
"I'll talk to Constance Hunter," Clark promised.
"The lady who represented Superman that one time?"
"The very same. She's had a bunch of successes ever since that whole Superman thing," Clark said confidently. "I'm sure she can help us."
"Is this really her domain though? I'm not being sued here."
"Even if it isn't her area," Clark said after a moment of thought, "I'm sure she knows of someone who can help. Look, it's worth a shot, isn't it? I'll give her a call. Okay?"
"Okay," Lois relented. Clark could see that this newest obstacle in their journey toward parenthood still had her reeling.
"Hey, it's going to be okay," he tried to reassure her, but all she did was nod absently.
***
"Lois Lane?"
"That's me," Lois said, standing, as the nurse called her name.
"Follow me please," the nurse said pleasantly.
Clark stood from his seat, closing the magazine he'd been flipping through but not reading. He set it down on the low table before him. Trailing Lois, his heart was in his throat. Today they would see how their child was growing, making sure that he or she was healthy. He hoped and prayed for good news.
The nurse brought them down to an examination room and took Lois' weight and blood pressure. She nodded to herself as she jotted down the numbers, her brunette ponytail waggling with the movement. Then she brought them to a different room, one that was sparsely decorated but for a long table with high backed black leather chairs, a few plants near the windows, and a couple of generic landscape photos.
"Dr. Humbert will be with you shortly," the nurse cheerfully informed them. "He'll ask you some basic questions about your family genetics so he can keep an eye out for anything that might indicate a problem, though an amnio is more accurate. Any questions for me?"
"Sure. Where's the ladies' room?" Lois asked.
The nurse smiled. "Down the hall, first door on the left." She pointed with two fingers pressed together.
"Thanks," Lois said, just before slipping out the door.
The nurse left without another word, a silent figure in lavender colored scrubs. Clark tried to sit still, but his anxiety was getting the better of him. He began to drum his fingers on the table. He wanted to pace or fly up into the deepening twilight or make a rescue just to burn off some of his nervous energy. How did normal men go through this process, he wondered.
"Back," Lois announced a few tortuous minutes later.
That was a relief to Clark. He pulled out Lois' chair then sat once she was comfortable. He reached over and took her hand, his fingers immediately entwining with hers. That gave him a small measure of comfort, and he hoped it was doing the same for Lois. Perhaps it did - she gave his hand a gentle squeeze, which he returned.
"Are you okay?" he whispered to her.
"I will be, once we know if this baby is healthy," she replied in an honest tone.
"Hello, hello," a dark, short, portly and balding man said. He maneuvered himself to the other side of the table with a speed that belied his rounded figure. "I'm Dr. Humbert."
Lois shook the hand that he offered, followed by Clark. "I'm Lois and this is Clark."
"Nice to meet you both. Did Aubrey explain what we're going to do here?"
"Yes," Lois said, nodding. "She said you would take some family history."
"Right," Dr. Humbert said. "Once I have the information I need, we'll head back to the exam room for the ultrasound. Did you want to know the sex of the baby today, assuming that he or she cooperates?"
Lois shared a look with Clark. He shrugged subtly, letting her know that he was really okay with whatever she chose. After a few heartbeats, she faced the doctor again.
"No," she said, shaking her head. "We'd prefer to wait until the birth."
Dr. Humbert nodded absently. "Fair enough. We get plenty of moms and dads who wish to be surprised at the delivery. I'll warn you though, I have a tendency to say 'he' when I do the ultrasounds. It doesn't mean you're having a boy. It's just a habit of mine, since I dislike calling the baby an 'it.'"
"Okay..." Lois said, clearly at a loss.
"Now then, shall we start with your family history, or his?" the doctor asked in a kindly voice, adjusting his rimless glasses.
"Well," Clark said uneasily. "We really don't have a history for my side. I was adopted and have no knowledge of my birth parents' histories."
It was true. Jor-El hadn't left any kind of family history in his messages to Clark - messages that the globe had held until he grew into a man and had reclaimed it from Bureau Thirty-Nine.
"I see. Not a problem," Dr. Humbert said cheerfully, scribbling a note. "It's actually more common than you might think."
Clark felt horrible, leaving out the fact that he wasn't the true father of this child. But what good would it do to mention that the child was Luthor's? They didn't have a history for him either, nor did Clark want to even attempt to find out. He would just as soon like to forget that Luthor was connected to the baby at all. He just wished that he could forget.
For a solid half hour, the doctor asked Lois about her family's medical history - if diabetes was present, if anyone had heart defects, if any specific ethnic or religious backgrounds were in her family - anything that could be linked to specific diseases. Clark could see that she was answering as best she could, but that she was terrified as she did so. Then they were led back to the same room where the nurse had taken Lois' blood pressure and weight.
Clark helped her up on the table. Lois laid down and lifted her shirt to reveal her expanding waistline as the tech introduced herself as Paulette. She already had the ultrasound machine up and running, so she wasted no time in squirting a generous amount of blue gel on Lois' abdomen. As soon as she pressed the ultrasound wand to Lois' stomach, the screen on the wall came alive with white, gray, and black shapes. Paulette swiped the wand around for a moment, looking for the baby's head.
"Here we go," she said happily as a skull appeared on the screen. "Look at that, your baby is looking right at you. See the dark holes there? Those are the eyes." She clicked around on the computer with the mouse, taking various measurements. "Looking good," she announced.
"Ah, look there," Dr. Humbert said, watching the screen.
"Is that...a hand?" Clark asked as something came into view.
"Yes," the doctor said. "He's waving at you."
As they watched, the baby stuck a thumb into its mouth and began to suck, while simultaneously rolling away from the full frontal view. It stopped once it was laying in profile, contentedly sucking its thumb.
"My God," Lois whispered, her voice sounding somehow reverent to Clark's ears. "Do you see that, Clark?"
"I do," he said, working the words around the emotional lump that had somehow formed in his throat. Funny, he hadn't even felt it form until he tried to speak. "It's beautiful." Beautiful? He'd never before considered the act of thumb sucking to be beautiful before that moment.
Paulette and the doctor continued to take careful measurements of the baby, pointing out everything to Lois and Clark. Arms, hands, fingers, spine, legs, feet - everything that appeared on the screen was identified. Even some of the internal organs - the flickering rhythm of the heart beating, the dark spots that were the kidneys and bladder, even the stomach - were carefully measured and eagerly pointed out by Paulette.
Clark could barely speak as he watched in rapt fascination. Even the normally chatty Lois was subdued and spoke only to ask the occasional question to see if things were still looking well, or if she was unsure about what she was seeing on the screen. At one point, they both had to let out a much needed chuckle as the baby started to hiccup. When Paulette reached the baby's bottom, she had them both look away, so that they could remain unaware of whether the baby was a boy or girl.
Special attention was spent on the baby's heart and umbilical cord, checking for any visible defects or problems. None were found, much to Clark's great relief. He could see from the way the tension bled out of Lois' body that she felt much the same. Finally, Paulette took the wand from Lois' exposed belly and handed her a towel to wipe the gel from her skin. She then went to work printing off pictures for them.
"You can relax now," Dr. Humbert said with a kindly smile. "Everything looks perfect. Your little guy is doing great. He's measuring right on target. Heart is strong, brain looks good. I see absolutely nothing to worry about."
"Thank you," Lois said breathlessly.
"He is laying sideways at the moment, but you still have plenty of time before the delivery for him to flip to the head down position."
"Is there anything we can do to change that?" Clark asked.
Dr. Humbert shook his nearly bald head. "Not at this time. That baby's going to continue to swim around and do somersaults for many more weeks. If he's still transverse closer to your delivery date, your regular OB should be able to give you some tips and run over your list of options."
"Here are your pictures," Paulette said, smiling, as she handed them a stack of thin ultrasound snapshots.
Lois took them distractedly. "So, there's really nothing I can do?"
"Nothing more than to relax and enjoy the rest of the pregnancy. I know it's concerning to many women, not seeing the baby in a head down position. But really, it's fine and many of those babies will move into the correct position for delivery on their own. He's just enjoying himself and all that room to move around until he gets bigger and the space becomes more constrictive."
"Thank you, doctor," Clark said, helping Lois off the table. "We appreciate everything."
"My pleasure," Dr. Humbert said, shaking Clark's hand. "Congratulations, both of you."
With that, both the doctor and the ultrasound technician left the room. Lois took a moment to continue to readjust her shirt, grimacing as she realized some of the gel had managed to evade her diligent efforts to clean herself off. Clark saw the wet marks it left on her shirt.
"Ugh," Lois said, looking down where the gel had connected with her clothing. "I can't wait to shower this stuff off."
"Why don't we head back to your place? You can take a shower and I'll get us a celebratory dinner," Clark offered. "Anything you want, just name it and I'll get it."
Lois smiled at him before pulling him into a hug. He could feel how much tension had drained out of her, now that the ultrasound was over.
"Our baby is healthy," she whispered in awe, as though the news was just dawning on her. "I was so afraid, Clark."
"I was too," he admitted. "Even with as slim a chance as we have that it really is my son or daughter, I was terrified. Your DNA and mine...if it is mine...I was afraid it might cause some kind of deformities or be fatal or at the very least give the kid some antennas or something."
He made the last part lighthearted, wanting to offset the gravity of his fears. Human and Kryptonian genetics had never mixed before, and he'd been terrified that, on the off chance that the baby was his own flesh and blood, that the alien DNA it carried would be either deadly or crippling to the child. Now, however, it seemed liked no matter who was the father - and Clark knew in his heart, despite what hope he might have once had, that it was Luthor's - the child was completely normal and healthy. That knowledge alone made it feel like the weight of the world had been lifted from his struggling shoulders.
Lois seemed to appreciate his minor attempt at humor. She playfully slapped his chest and laughed. "Well, we don't know if this baby has purple skin or anything like that," she teased back.
Clark chuckled and grinned. "Good point. Come on. Let's go home."
"With pleasure. I'm beat and I feel like Slimer caressed my belly."
Clark put his arm around her as they left the examination room. Together, they found their way out of the hospital where the ultrasound had been performed and out into the parking lot. Clark offered to drive. Lois gladly gave him her keys, then proceeded to fall asleep in the passenger seat as he navigated through the city streets to Lois' apartment. He found a spot to park, then gently leaned over and kissed Lois' brow to awaken her.
"Huh?" she asked sleepily as her eyes started to flutter open.
"We're here," he replied in a low, soothing voice.
Lois opened her eyes fully. "Oh. Thanks, Clark."
"Any time. Let's get you inside, then I'll make a food run."
"Okay." She unbuckled and clamored out of the Jeep. "What are you in the mood for?" she asked as they mounted the steps from the sidewalk into her building.
"I don't know," Clark said helplessly. "What are you in the mood for?"
Lois shrugged. "Not Chinese again. I feel like I've consumed more duck sauce than the rest of the country combined in the last month or so."
"French?"
Lois made a face. "No."
"Japanese?"
"And watch you eat all the sushi while I can't have any?" she teased. "Pardon me if I decline."
Clark chuckled. "Italian?"
Lois' eyes lit up. "Now that sounds good."
"Pizza or other?" he asked with a wide grin as the elevator in the building's lobby opened for them. He stepped aside as the Mendez family exited.
"Other. I could go for some chicken francese, a side of pasta, and don't forget the bread and dipping oil," she said as they boarded the elevator.
"Got it," Clark said with a mock salute.
They rode the rest of the way up to her apartment in relative silence. When they reached Lois' floor, they disembarked from the elevator and linked arms as they walked to her door. Once inside the apartment, Clark turned to her.
"I'll head out for the food now, if you want."
"Please. I'm starving." She paused. "Promise me that you'll go someplace local?"
"Do I have to?" Clark asked in faked wounded tones.
Lois smiled and patted his cheek affectionately. "Yes."
Clark sighed dramatically. "Okay, fine. I'll be back as soon as I can."
He went to his customary window after spinning into the suit. It was funny, he thought to himself. He'd always used that one particular window to enter and exit Lois' apartment whenever he was in his Superman garb, even though there were other perfectly good windows he could use. It didn't really mean anything, but the passing thought still struck him. He turned back to Lois for a moment, one foot on the window sill.
"Love you," he told her.
"Love you too. Now, go," she encouraged him.
He nodded, then raced off into the sky, too fast for anyone to notice, though he curtailed his speed so as not to cause the tell-tale sonic boom that oftentimes signaled that Superman was in the area. He thought about heading across town to one of their usual places, but changed his mind seconds later. He altered his course and headed north, to New York.
Twenty minutes later, he was back in Metropolis. He headed for his apartment first, wanting a shower and a change of his civilian clothes. He'd heard that it was a cardinal sin to make a pregnant woman wait for her food, but he was sure that Lois wouldn't mind the extra two minute delay. He zoomed into his place via the terrace door, spun completely out of his clothing, shoved everything in the hamper, showered at super speed, then dressed. He checked his bedside clock as he was once more leaving and smiled to himself in satisfaction. Two minutes exactly, and that was only because he'd taken the time to shave before his shower.
A minute later, he was knocking on the window of Lois' apartment. She'd left it open for him to enter, but he disliked just walking - or flying, as the case might be - into other people's homes without at least knocking. She was just entering the living room from the direction of her bathroom, clad in soft looking pajamas, her hair still damp. She waved him in with a smile.
"Smells good," she said as he stepped into the room.
He spun into his civilian clothes. "Trust me, it tastes even better."
"You didn't go to our usual place, did you?" she asked, her tone indicating that she already knew the answer. "Clark! I told you to stay local. Where did you go?"
"I did stay local. I went to The Bronx," he admitted. "There's a place over there that that blows ours out of the water."
"That's hardly local," she accused.
Clark shrugged, smiling wolfishly. "It is for me."
Lois rolled her eyes, but laughed.
"Besides," Clark continued. "I don't see what's wrong with going a bit out of the way for dinner tonight. We're celebrating, after all."
"That's precisely why I didn't want you flying to Italy or China or wherever. Clark and I are celebrating. Not Superman. What? Why are you smiling like that?"
Clark shook his head as he brought the bag of takeout to the kitchen. "Nothing. It's just...all my life, this is what I've dreamed about. Being able to be myself with the woman I love. Having my abilities accepted but ignored in the greater scheme of who I am. I love that you're able to do that, Lois. Seeing me for who I really am."
Lois came up behind him and grabbed his midsection in a hug. "You make it easy to, Clark. I'll admit, when I first found out about you, part of me wondered if I really would be able to separate you from Superman. I've always looked at you in two different lights. But, somehow, something just made sense and clicked for me. You made it seem so natural, that you were Clark masquerading as Superman and not Superman pretending to be Clark. And not because you explained how you became Superman to me. It's just...who you are. It's just so evident in how you live your life. It was impossible not to 'get it' pretty quickly. What took more getting used to was that, out of the millions of women you could possibly have, you chose me."
Clark twisted in her arms, momentarily abandoning the food containers he'd been taking out of the bag. He kissed her lips - a brief, chaste kiss that lasted only a second or two. "Lois, I have met hundreds of thousands of people, all over the world, between my days traveling the world and as Superman. Believe me when I say you are the only woman who has ever captivated me. Your mind, your drive - everything about you makes me love you. Not to mention how beautiful you are."
Her grin matched his own. "Smooth talker." Her stomach rumbled loudly.
"Baby's hungry, huh?"
Lois blushed. "Yeah, I guess so."
"Go on, sit. I'll get this all set," Clark said. As Lois released him, he went back to work opening the food containers and setting everything on the table.
"Everything looks and smells so good," Lois said as he placed her meal in front of her. "What'd you get?"
"The same as you," he said, bringing his plate over and seating himself. "Enjoy."
"Oh, God, this is good," Lois said after the first bite. "You are officially forgiven for not staying local."
"Good," Clark said. "I was hoping that would be the case." He basked in the praise for a moment, enjoying the fact that he'd made Lois so happy.
Lois ate another bite and closed her eyes blissfully as she chewed. "Definitely forgiven," she murmured.
"I'll keep it in mind next time you're in the mood for Italian," Clark said. "You should try their pizza some time."
"I definitely will be."
A small silence lapsed. Clark fiddled with the food on his plate, enjoying the food but wanting to break the fragile quiet of the room. He was half finished with his meal when he finally found a starting point.
"So, uh, were you going to call your family tonight to tell them the good news?" he asked.
Lois sighed noisily. "I probably should. I've been thinking about it since I climbed into the shower. I'm just dreading it. Mom's still mad that I don't want to know if the baby is a boy or girl yet, and that I'm not using the doctor she's been insisting on. Dad keeps harping on getting a paternity test done. And Lucy...well, I guess I am looking forward to telling her the good news. But at the same time, I feel kind of bad. I know she's been feeling kind of down, ever since the whole thing with Johnny Corben. I just want her to find a sweet guy, like you." She eyed him a gave him a wry smile. "Too bad you don't have a brother," she mused.
Clark chuckled. "I wish. It would have been nice to have someone else like me growing up."
"Do you regret not having siblings?" Lois asked.
It was Clark's turn to sigh as he formulated his answer. "Yes and no. I would have loved to have had a sister or brother to share things with. And I would have loved for my parents to have had another child to love. It always seemed sort of unfair to me, that they had all this love to give but only one child to lavish that love on, and that one only by random chance. And if that other child had been like me...well, it would have been nice, to not have to endure all the changes, all the power manifestations on my own. It would have been nice to know that someone else knew exactly what I was going through."
He paused to take a sip of his water. "On the other hand, I had a fantastic childhood. I had many friends and wonderful parents. I guess I never really felt like I was really missing out on anything by not having a sibling. Even now, as an adult, I have friends who are so close, so dear to me, that they almost feel like the brothers and sisters I never had. Like Jimmy. He's like a brother to me."
Lois hummed her understanding. "I've seen that, between the two of you. I'd bet that Jimmy thinks of you in the same light."
Clark smiled. "He's a great guy. Maybe you should fix him up with Lucy."
Lois rolled her eyes. "I tried that once. I guess it was six or eight months before you started at the Planet. It was a disaster."
"I never knew that," Clark said.
Lois shook her head. "Neither one of them ever mentions it. And I don't even fully know what happened between them. All I know is that it didn't go well."
"Shame. I would think they'd make a cute couple," Clark mused aloud.
"I did too. But maybe it's for the better. Neither one have the best track records in the dating world."
Clark had to concede that point. "True."
As if to spare him from the awkward topic he'd inadvertently brought up, the phone rang. Lois rose to answer it. He heard her greet her mother. Knowing she'd likely be on the phone for a while, he busied himself with cleaning up the kitchen, even going so far as to reorganize her Tupperware, since a small avalanche occurred when he opened the cabinet to find something to pack the leftovers in.
About forty-five minutes passed until Lois finally begged her way off the phone. She pressed Clark to call his parents to share the news that the baby was healthy. He did, but only to make her happy. By then, it was getting late. Lois fielded one brief call from her sister, then curled up under a blanket with Clark on the couch. She leaned against him, resting, and he was more than happy to take her in his arms and hold her close.
"Clark?" she asked some time later, as an old movie played on the television. Her voice was heavy with sleepiness.
"Hmm?" he asked, half asleep himself.
"Will you stay tonight?"
"Only if you want me to," he murmured into her hair, hoping she would say yes.
He always loved when he was invited to stay the night at Lois' apartment or when she accepted his invitation to stay at his place. They always shared the same bed now, though they had agreed not to take things any further than cuddling, kisses, and actual sleep. He knew that Lois was still working through some strong feelings caused by Luthor's attack. In fact, she was speaking with a therapist once a week. According to Lois, Dr. Friskin was simply amazing. He was just happy that Lois was beginning to feel like she was putting some distance between herself and that singularly traumatic night. He still kicked himself for making an earlier than normal patrol that night, and for being at home at the time of Luthor's assault. He still felt like he should have been able to do something to prevent Lois from going through such a frightening and scarring experience.
"I really do," Lois said. "It's so nice when I get to fall asleep in your arms."
"I love it too," he replied.
Lois yawned and stretched. "I'm going to get ready for bed."
"I'll get everything in here shut down," he promised, flicking the television off with the remote control.
As Lois moved off to the bathroom, he double checked the locks on the windows and door, then turned out the lights. After a few minutes, Lois emerged from the bathroom and slipped beneath the bed's soft sheets, allowing Clark to get himself ready for sleep. He'd long ago left a set of necessary toiletries at her place along with some spare changes of clothing, and she at his, so he brushed his teeth, used the toilet, then followed Lois' lead in climbing into bed. Once settled next to her, he placed his hand over the rounded and now unmistakable bump of her belly.
"Baby's moving a lot right now," Lois informed him.
Clark nodded mutely, unable to feel that movement yet, though he knew it would be coming soon enough.
"Our baby," he said after a moment. "Sometimes, I still can't believe it."
"Me too." She placed her hand over his. "I guess I still wonder if we're doing the right thing, if I'll be a good mom. I know you'll be a good dad. And then this little one will kick me and it's like he or she is telling me that it'll be okay." She paused for a moment. "Does that make me sound as crazy as I think it does?"
Clark smiled at her and kissed the tip of her nose. "Not at all. And you'll be a fantastic mom."
"Thanks. So, what's your guess on the baby? Boy or girl?"
Clark shook his head. "No idea. I'll be happy no matter what. What do you think?"
"I don't know. I feel like...I know so many men who want a son, but so many others whose daughters have them wrapped around their little fingers. And, while I'd love a son, the bigger part of me wants a daughter so I can have that mother-daughter relationship. Especially since the relationship with my mother is...well, what it is."
"I guess I can understand that," Clark said, pulling his hand from Lois' belly to brush a stray lock of hair back behind her ear.
"Promise me something?" Lois asked.
"Anything. Uh, what, exactly, am I promising?"
"You'll let me know if you ever see me turning into my mother, regardless of if we have a son or daughter?"
"Absolutely," Clark said with a laugh.
Lois wagged a playful finger at him. "I'll hold you to that."
"So, uh, I was wondering if you'd given any more thought to names," Clark said after a few minutes of silence. His hand went back to her stomach.
"A little. It turns out there are more names that I hate than that I like. What about you?"
"I have a few that I like. I started to highlight ones that I like in a baby name book I found at a library sale."
"Tell me some of them?"
Clark started to rattle off some of the top names and was a little surprised when Lois enthusiastically jumped into the conversation, offering up some names that she liked, or letting him know if she liked or disliked the ones he was suggesting. In a way, it was the most peaceful night they had spent together in the recent weeks, even if it was of the more important discussions in his mind. In the end, they agreed on a few potential names for both a boy and a girl, but also agreed to keep subject open for further discussions.
Soon, Lois dropped off to sleep in his arms, half turned into his body. Clark cuddled her closer and eased himself further down into the blankets. He was tired, but sleep would not come right away. He lay, instead, just listening to the sound of Lois' even breathing as she slept, and the steady, comforting sound of her heartbeat. He listened, for a time, to the baby's heart as well, faster than any resting adult, though Clark had come to learn that that was perfectly normal for any child. He guessed the baby was also sleeping, from the barely changing rhythm of his or her heart.
How did I ever get this lucky? he wondered for what felt the billionth time in the five short months he'd been dating Lois. A woman who loves me, the real me, not the super me. A child on the way. Somehow, I almost feel like I'm not worthy of all these wonderful developments in my life. All I need now is to live with Lois full time, as her husband, if she'll have me. Being apart from her...and eventually being apart from this baby...it hurts. I'm lonelier in my apartment after she goes home for the night than I've ever been in my entire life, even when my differences made me the most isolated person on the planet.
He sighed and placed a careful kiss into Lois' hair, taking every caution not to wake her. Maybe my dad was right. Maybe I should use the check he gave me to put a down payment on a new place for us. Assuming Lois wants to move in together. I mean, we're practically living together as it is. On any given week, about half the nights she's sleeping over at my place or I'm sleeping at hers. And with the baby coming, it makes more sense for us to have one place, right? Or am I crazy in considering this?
His mind turned to thoughts of the ring he'd long since picked out for her. Tomorrow, I'll buy that ring, he decided. I'll hold onto it until I'm sure a proposal would be welcome. But, in the meantime, at least I'll have it. Even if it takes us years to get to the point where I know Lois would be okay with my asking her to marry me, at least I'll know that I'll have the perfect ring for her.
God, she's so beautiful, he thought as he continued to gaze at her peacefully sleeping form. Never in my wildest dreams growing up did I ever dare to imagine that I'd wind up with someone like her. Her smile. Her features. Her mind. She's the most gorgeous woman in the world.
He kissed her once again before shutting his eyes. Finally, thankfully, sleep took him to a deep, dreamless place where only healing rest took place, though even then, he still felt happy.
To Be Continued...
