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#264027 06/12/15 07:27 PM
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Feedback folder for A Week in Paris.



"It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating."- Simon Pegg
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I wasn't expecting that Lois would tell Clark that she knows so soon.

Loved this line:
Quote
The excuse sounded lame even to her, but she couldn't tell Clark the real reason they'd broken up. That by the time Dan came back from Washington Clark had left and Superman was gone and she'd been a wreck. That Dan had broken things off with her, telling her to go to Paris, find Clark and admit that she loved him. She'd denied it to Dan, but had had to face facts herself. She loved Clark Kent.
Yeah, Dan. That's never going to happen. Then, Lois would have to admit that she was... um... not right. clap I know that there's a lot of Dan haters on the boards, but this shows what a great guy Dan was underneath it all (not great fit for Lois).

A picnic lunch in Parisian garden. Sounds nice. Sigh. I'm glad that Clark's keeping a level head and not making everything about work.

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He waved the sheet of paper. “It's a message from Brad Hancock, my contact in London. Bernard Young- the head of the restorations department at the Royal Academy- has been found floating in the Thames.”
That's just upgraded the story. I'm doubting it's suicide too.

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She busied herself greeting her son and making tea. Trying to keep her question as casual as she could, she asked “So. How's Metropolis?”

“I haven't been to Metropolis.” He sounded genuinely puzzled.

“But you have seen Lois” Martha persisted, putting the teapot and cups down on the table. It was a given. Every time he saw her, he'd turn up at the farmhouse quiet and sad, looking like he had when he'd come to tell them he was moving to France.
There's no fooling Martha!

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“You're right Mom, it's not. I would've told her eventually anyway, if -” Clark cut himself off this time, continuing in a more subdued tone. “I would have told her anyway.” He fell silent, staring reflectively into his mug.
I can just feel Clark's pain here. Poor fellow. The woman he loves has admitted that she knows and accepts his biggest secret. Too bad she doesn't love him back. Too bad Lois didn't tell Clark what Dan told her when he dumped her.

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“So. Lois is in Paris. What are you going to do, Clark?”

“I don't know, Dad. I just don't know.”
Stay up all night doing Super stuff, so that's he's cranky in the morning when he sees her again? Just a thought. wink Not a good thought, but Clark isn't known for making the brightest choices.

Too bad all that good Chinese food had to go to waste. wave I'll take it here! Can't wait to see what our favorite duo will do next.


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally Posted by VirginiaR
I know that there's a lot of Dan haters on the boards, but this shows what a great guy Dan was underneath it all (not great fit for Lois).

Yeah, I agree Virginia. I've never thought that Dan was a bad guy, just that he wasn't the right guy.

I wasn't originally going to have Lois tell Clark she knows quite so soon, but it ended up being important to the story- just not in this chapter.

Thanks for your help with the punctuation too, Virginia smile


"It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating."- Simon Pegg
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I am really enjoying this story, Feli clap.

Virginia's comment : 'The woman he (Clark) loves has admitted that she knows and accepts his biggest secret. Too bad she doesn't love him back' --completely says how painful right now would be for Clark.

He has waited his whole life to find that someone that will accept him...who he can be himself with, tell everything to. Be open and honest with. Lois knows--everything. She's had time to come to terms with it. Accepts it even. But they are not 'together'. How completely bitter sweet for Clark frown.

Knowing that he wants to be in Metropolis, he wants to work at the Planet with Lois, that she misses working with him there. Knowing that 'Superman' is no longer that something coming between Lois and Clark...no more secrets.

And the only issue--the only thing from keeping everything out of Clark's reach--is that he thinks Lois doesn't love him.

OUCH!

You have me completely hooked. Great story--can't wait for more!
Laura smile



Last edited by LMA; 06/15/15 12:26 PM.

"Where's Clark?" "Right here."

...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.

~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Ah, the Tuileries. smile Vive l'empereur! All of your descriptions of Paris take me right back to my vacations there. I expected Lois to wait longer before revealing her knowledge of Clark's secret, but now that it's out, they can spend more time discussing what it means for them and will allow them to grow closer together as they work on the investigation, rekindling their partnership (and hopefully adding a new dimension to it).


You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie. wink
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Really enjoying this story! clap

Lois knowing and telling Clark first that she knows the secret is a great twist. Now if she could just be as honest about her feelings. Will be interesting to see if she understands how much she's hurting Clark by not telling him she loves him, and what she's willing to do to get him to return to Metropolis.

Nice to see Martha in protective Mom mode, not liking Lois's treatment of Clark.

Looking forward to your next chapter!


Cuidadora

"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor

"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly

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I just got caught up with this and am really enjoying it. I'm looking forward to more.


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Pulitzer
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It's nice to see that Scardino is not an unfeeling lout. He actually genuinely cared about Lois and wanted the best for her, which he knew was for her to be with Clark. That takes a certain amount of humility on his part, although most of the time he is not portrayed that way.

Part 3 is shaping up to be a great mystery, keep it up!


Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.

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