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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Well, finally, what everyone's been waiting for!
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
 Yea, Clark! But Lois is right, it's also not Clark. He was wearing his glasses before he turned to face her, but then he removed them. What a great way to say, "Well, here I am. The man you unmasked. Isn't that who you were looking for?" It made her uncomfortable and on edge right off the bat, which I doubt he was expecting. How different would the meeting been if he had kept his "disguise" on? But then again, Lois is also right. She killed Clark Kent, so that he no longer can be that man, so he can't BE Clark Kent in front of her.  You certainly drew out the tension of Lois waiting all day for Clark to show. I was beginning to wonder if we'd have to wait another part to finally see them together. I'm glad that Jonathan warned her about Clark's shakes. I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose but it led her to see his actions in a new light. The way he didn't race over to rescue her hand from her fingernails, as the old Clark would've, but instead drew into himself. As she approached him, he moved further away. They are both as fine as their lies of being "fine" could be. I loved your use of the silence as a game of chicken. They both should have realized that Lois never loses at games. Oh, wait. They weren't friends long enough for Clark to have learned this.  Many great descriptions here, again. But she has been building herself up in a steel mold, has poured all that is left of herself into an invisible body-cast that keeps her upright, keeps her looking as people expect her to look, saying the things the Lois Lane of old would say. And so her only reaction is the breath escaping her lungs in a shuddering, involuntary rush. I totally picture this. But why does Lois seem to look like a hollow chocolate Easter bunny in my mind? (She thinks he will turn into the Clark she killed; thinks she can resurrect him from the dead with less effort than it took to kill him.) It's so sad that Lois keeps talking about killing Clark Kent. True, but still sad. He nods, but there’s a flicker in her eyes, and Lois realizes, with a pang, that Clark Kent didn’t work at the Daily Planet long enough to know what was annual and what wasn’t. She forgets, most of the time, that he wasn’t there very long (only two months; only eight weeks and four days); he slipped in so easily, fit in so well, that it seems he was always there. I like how she knew exactly how long Clark worked at the DP and how it never felt the same after he left. So she gathers her courage and she steps around the counter, closer to him. Watches him, notices that he tenses at her motion before obviously forcing himself to stay in place.
She takes another step nearer, toward the couch, and this time, he does not stop himself. He backs up until he is only a foot away from the windows, until he is not touching anything at all. But he does not look away from her. Clark is worried, as he was during Lethal Weapon, and fears his powers. This is not a good thing. (Clark could always say so much with a single look). One could say that Clark could almost look straight through her.  “But that’s not important. How are you?” She has to bite the end of the question off, has to tuck her bottom lip in her mouth, to keep herself from finishing it the way it was about to slip out (to avoid saying Clark, because she lost the right to call him that, and she does not want to see his eyes go blank at the sound of it; does not want to hear this stranger tell her that Clark is dead and he is Superman now). I believe that Lois fears losing Clark more now than ever before. She knows that this is her one and only chance to be with him, so that if she messes this up she'll never have a chance to apologize. Not that she's taking the time to apologize now. IS Lois sorry? I could see Lois thinking that apologizing as a form of defeat or surrender (in other words, a weakness) and she's not yet to the point where she understands the healing power of saying "I'm sorry". She came to see that he was all right, and now she has her answer.
He isn’t.
And so, Lois decides, she has a new wish (a new desire; a new goal), and she will not leave until it is accomplished.
She is going to take this stranger, and she is going to make him better. And this is how Lois will atone for her sins. Personally, I think it's a terrific plan.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
OMG, I can't even!  You are an absolute master at creating mood - the raw emotion just crackles off the page! I love the politeness that everyone displays, and how evident it is that they're all just using that politeness to mask what they're really feeling and all the things they just can't express. How true it is when you just say, "I'm fine", even though everyone knows you're not - socially acceptable lies that everyone recognizes as such and that no one will ever point out. Extraordinary.  Susan, who wonders what Cat is up to 
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,685 Likes: 1 |
“Home’s not a place, Lois,” he tells her, like a benediction, like he’s unfolding the secrets of the universe just for her. “It’s people and family and love. So don’t worry--no matter how far away he flies, Clark always comes back to the people he loves." Love that line - so true. Excellent job with the pacing of their meeting. I so want both of them to be honest with each other. But they're not ready yet. It's going to take time to re-establish trust. Love Lois' plan! Joan
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Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 25
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 25 |
More and more, this is starting the feel like T.S Elliot's The Waste Land, to me. Everything feels dry and hollow. The present tense is haunting and uncertain, it takes away our certainty of closure because in the present tense, the future is unknown. The narrator is not omniscient, so we can't rely on the past either. It gives me shivers just to read it. Add to that smiles without contact, and a name without an identity - even more, words without communication, and you are left with 'fear in a handful of dust'. *Shudders*. I'm thinking that the only way Clark can be 'reborn' is for there the be a violent storm, to tear down the debris and clear the air. And I suspect that Lois lane is going to be the one to provoke it 
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,393 Likes: 1 |
Wow. Your writing was powerful enough that I felt my own stomach churning with Lois' guilt and uncertainty. I agree with Bean22: The present tense definitely intensifies the emotions and makes them feel nearer.
Well done.
Joy,
Lynn
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Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 911 Likes: 2
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 911 Likes: 2 |
What a powerful emotional chapter! Beautifully written.  She finds herself face to face with a stranger.
Neither Clark, nor Superman, he is some strange hybrid, a facet of him she has never seen before How true and devastatingly sad for them both. She came to see that he was all right, and now she has her answer.
He isn’t.
And so, Lois decides, she has a new wish (a new desire; a new goal), and she will not leave until it is accomplished.
She is going to take this stranger, and she is going to make him better. Great to have this chapter end with hope.
Cuidadora
"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor
"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2 |
The windows let in plenty of light, and Lois watches it change, from afternoon to evening Longest day of her life, no doubt. Lois thinks about offering her help, Burning dinner is not helping, Lois. Lois thinks about offering her help, I wondered too. Taxpayer dollars? A thank you from the government? Pretend that she has not forced herself into their life in multiple, unwelcome ways. Awwww! Lois smiles. A real smile. A small, tremulous smile that seems a bit too close to tears for comfort but that she doesn’t mind anyway because, for the first time, she feels like perhaps she is not the enemy Awww! Now, remember that feeling when you finally see Clark. wonders if it is as bare as the places on the fridge where his pictures should be With the way he's shaking and all, I'd be surprised to find more than a bed in there. Her presence is enough to do that all on its own, reminder of all they once had and no longer do thanks to her. An it's going to take her a very long time to stop viewing herself like this. YAY! His back is to her and yet…and yet he knows she is there. As always, he knows. Neither Clark, nor Superman, he is some strange hybrid, Love this whole section. Awww! And since he's a terrible liar, we can only assume the smile is genuine. He is insane. He has cracked and broken and doesn’t remember what happened. So sad but so funny! (Those are happy but heartbroken tears, BYW.) and does not move (does not rise from his grave to comfort her). Love this. She forgets, most of the time, that he wasn’t there very long (only two months; only eight weeks and four days); he slipped in so easily, fit in so well, that it seems he was always there. Love this. It feels so right, so accurate in what we see in canon. (Clark could always say so much with a single look). Very true. “I’m here,” he says in a small voice. “And I’m getting better.” Aaaaaaand cue more heartbreak. She is going to take this stranger, and she is going to make him better. As we all knew she would. I am SOOOOO thrilled we got to see their meeting in this chapter. So short, so full of emotion, so wonderfully heartbreaking. Can't wait until you give us more!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,466 |
Oh-My-Goodness!  The emotion that you create, Anti-K, in your writing!?!  I am sitting here, completely in dumb-founded bliss. Your talent totally amazes me--how you can take our characters, with your words, and create such moments of feeling. I've been so excited for Lois and Clark to come face-to-face, experience each other, feel everything together that has been haunting both of them. I had really built this 'moment' up in my head. And you made it everything I was hoping for, and honestly so much more . I'm really glad for Lois gaining some more time with Martha and Jonathan. I think she needed as much understanding as she could get before she had any time with Clark. Seeing how they've lived, created somewhat of a 'life' for themselves. Finding out more about Clark from them. Clark's hands shaking--it was great Lois knowing that beforehand. Just getting a bit of understanding was huge for Lois. Dark periods. Bleak moments. But she does not think she’s ever felt so bad as she does now, her hands wrist-deep in soapy, dirty water, holding a ceramic bowl and a washrag. Teardrops fall into that water (further dirtying it, sullying it with guilt she shouldn’t even have the luxury to feel, to indulge in), tiny ripples pushing aside soap bubbles, plink-plink-plinking alongside the rim of the bowl.
“I think that one’s done now, honey,” Martha says gently, and she reaches out, infinitely slowly, and unwraps Lois’s fingers from around it. Before Lois can do more than take in a shuddering breath, Martha has placed another bowl in her hands. “Start on this one, okay?”
Lois gives the impression of a nod. She doesn’t say anything and Martha lets her hold on to her impossible hope that neither of them know she is crying.
It takes a while to finish up. There are a lot of dishes (but not so many that Lois doesn’t notice Martha taking the empty plate set aside earlier and filling it to overflowing with leftovers, wrapping it in plastic and placing it in the fridge), but Lois wishes there were more. She wouldn’t mind if she never ran out of dishes, if Martha just kept handing them to her one by one (giving her an excuse to stay; giving her the illusion that she can possibly do something to help them, to give back to them, to make up for what she’s stolen). This part really moved me. Lois having some time with Martha. Lois--never being very good at saying how she feels-- showing Martha with her tears. I think this really gave Martha some insight into 'where' Lois has been during these last few months. Brought Martha understanding. And I think Martha knew how therapeutic letting out some of those tears was to Lois. How Martha very quietly kept the process going, kept Lois washing yet another dish. A bolt of sheer terror sparks a revolution in Lois’s system, deadening her nerves system, shooting adrenaline through her veins. Freezing her in place. “Wh-what…what do I say?”
Something like compassion, like sympathy (or maybe just pity) moves through Martha’s eyes, turns them almost silver, highlighted with sapphire, reflecting gold sparks from the warm tones of the kitchen. “Oh, honey--whatever it is you came all this way to say.” And this moment between them. I think Martha is starting to really grasp the enormity of this time together with Clark Lois is feeling. Lois needed someone to care about her--she's been alone, completely living in guilt for months. I love that that person was Martha. She does not want to talk to him if he will not speak to her in turn (if he will give her only silence, as she gave him coming back from their trip to Smallville). Smallville clue! Bad car trip home? Hmmmm...Lois mad because of how she found out Clark was Superman possibly? Out of everything she could imagine him doing, though, out of all the possible scenarios, he chooses the unlikeliest of all.
He smiles at her.
And as Clark Kent exited this world with a single word, so this stranger enters her world with the same one.
“Lois,” he says. A breath. A murmur. A sound (when for so long there has been only silence). Perfection! Goosebump-provoking . “You came.” She hears the words, recognizes her own voice, and yet, she doesn’t know where those words came from. Doesn’t know why they are the first words she chooses to say to him. But nonetheless, it is her voice and she is the one who said them, and everyone can hear the tears surging up behind them, can hear the disbelief and the relief tainting those two words with a weight they aren’t strong enough to bear up under.
His smile (another one, and this is a Clark smile, teasing and slight, curling up higher at one end of his mouth than the other) makes the room steady around her. Makes the light dim a bit so that it isn’t stabbing into her eyes, into her brain. “Shouldn’t I be the one saying that?” he asks wryly. Going for complete honesty here: I about bawled my eyes out during this moment. The back-and-forth. Clark, being just a little bit like Clark. Teasing her. Calming her. Balancing her. Lois needed him right here, he sensed that, and he was there for her. LOVE this! He gives a short nod, this stranger, not a real nod, just confirmation that she spoke. He waits (she holds her breath, afraid she has scared him away, has lost him again), then, as if he cannot help himself, says, “I missed you.”
Lois swallows. Hard. Curls her hands into fists so tight that she feels a couple of her nails puncture the flesh to release tiny pinpricks of blood. As if in response, the stranger (Clark, her heart stubbornly says; Superman, her mind reminds her; neither, she thinks) flinches. His eyes dart toward her hands, and for the blink of an eye, she thinks he will drop his arms from their crossed position and stride across the distance separating them and then, with hands as gentle as his mother’s, will uncurl her fists and tsk over the puncture wounds and chide her about being more careful. (She thinks he will turn into the Clark she killed; thinks she can resurrect him from the dead with less effort than it took to kill him.)
But then his own hands form into fists, and he tightens his position, resettles his arms across his chest, and does not move (does not rise from his grave to comfort her). WOW! The glimpse of 'I missed you'--'Clark' is still so much there. I love that peak you gave us, letting us know that he hasn't lost any of that initial and immediate love he felt for Lois (regardless of this--the last four months). And Lois' reaction is amazing, how her body reacts so intensly to Clark's admission by curling her hands into damaging fists. I love that deep down she knows that Clark notices the pain, wants to comfort her, but can not. The wordage of 'Clark, her heart stubbornly says; Superman, her mind reminds her; neither, she thinks' is absolutely poetic. I've come back to it multiple times, by the way. He nods, but there’s a flicker in her eyes, and Lois realizes, with a pang, that Clark Kent didn’t work at the Daily Planet long enough to know what was annual and what wasn’t. She forgets, most of the time, that he wasn’t there very long (only two months; only eight weeks and four days); he slipped in so easily, fit in so well, that it seems he was always there. This is a really powerful paragraph. How Clark immediately fit in. From the start. Completely. How Lois associates Clark with all of everything related to the Planet. I love that. And also...the timing. Her knowing percisely how long he was there is amazing, like Virginia pointed out. But I was also struck with how short of a time he was there, that Lois and Clark knew eachother, worked together. Two months. Not long at all, really. And I knew that--from knowing the show and where this story diverted from--but I hadn't really acknowledged it to myself (if that makes sense ). And now it's been four months--since they last saw each other. I was really struck by how they've been apart longer than they ever really got to know each other. But yet, how profound the effect of that time together was (on both of them). And not just because of the damage of a newspaper article... I also LOVE Lois' plan . And I get the feeling she's going to succeed. She's too head-strong not to . Something tells me that (for Clark) the 'best medicine' for him is going to be having Lois back in his life. I think they need to hash a LOT of stuff out. But they will. And during that time, Lois being there--being a distraction for Clark of his fears, being a 'hope' of his for his future--I think Clark will heal. Counting down the days till this weekend . Laura
Last edited by LMA; 06/01/15 05:08 PM.
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Whew! After all the build-up, I'm so glad this meeting didn't come across as disappointing! Virginia, love your image of Lois as a hollow chocolate bunny! So true! Atoning really is what Lois is looking to do - we'll see if an apology comes out verbally yet! I really liked the idea of Clark still wearing the glasses; I know he didn't when Clark was 'dead' in TOGoM while talking to his parents, but in this story, he's clinging to what little pieces he has left to him. Thanks, groobie! It's always such a treat to see your feedback -- I'm glad to know that even after doing all your hard beta-ing work on the story, you're not sick of it yet! And I wonder what happened to Cat, too. If you ever write that spin-off story, we'll know. It definitely will take time to re-establish trust, scifiJoan, especially when neither of them had gotten to the point where they really trusted each other before the article. They're rebuilding in a way, but also building something completely new. So glad the pacing worked out -- I stressed over it a bit, to be honest, and my poor betas are probably tired of answering questions about the pacing. I wish I was culturally literate enough to fully appreciate your comment, Bean22, but I've never been able to fully appreciate poetry as it deserves, so The Waste Land is definitely beyond me. However, I love your comment anyway because you perfectly put down why I chose the use of present tense; I wanted to show just how uncertain the future, and everything we as readers take for certainties, now are. If a violent storm is coming, I hope Lois and Clark can weather it! Sorry to make you so nervous, Lynn, but delighted that you're enjoying the story! I know you don't normally read stories until they're completed, so I'm even more grateful to have you along for the ride! Thanks, cuidadora! It was definitely fun to write the paragraphs about Lois seeing Clark/Superman as an amalgamated stranger. Here's a tissue for those happy but heartbroken tears, DC (though I still think you owe me some, especially after your beautiful 'Unlike Any Other' stories). I'm glad their meeting didn't seem TOO short. I wish they could just hug and go back to developing their love story, but sadly, there are quite a few issues needing to be resolved! Wow, thank you for such a lovely comment, LMA!  Emotion is the one thing I can depend on to keep my interest in writing a story, so I'm glad that it comes through for the reader as well as for me -- and so relieved that this chapter didn't disappoint your expectations of it! Lois gaining deeper understanding of Clark before she even sees him again was one of my favorite things; she wrote a expose on him but is only now learning the 'important' things. Martha was difficult to write, balancing the protective mother with the kind woman, but I was glad she had this moment with Lois, too. Actually, Clark smiling when he came face to face with Lois was almost the first thing I came up with after that prologue, and it's the only reason I decided to go ahead and write the story! I knew there had to be some hope in there for me to devote so much of my time to such a depressing premise! The sentence about wondering who Clark/Superman really is actually is one of my very favorites in the entire story thus far, so I was glad to see it highlighted! Thank you, LWhite! It's fun to get to explore not only Lois's relationship with Clark, but also with James and the Kents. Thanks, everyone, who's following along! I hope you all continue to enjoy!
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Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 167
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 167 |
More and more, this is starting the feel like T.S Elliot's The Waste Land, to me. OMG, I thought the same exact thing!!! I swear that after a while I was reading this story, I thought: "Her style reminds me of someone..." and then Eliot popped into my mind. But since I've read very little English literature in original language, I was sort of self-conscious to make the reference... I'm so excited that someone else agrees with me! :)) Anti-K, face it: you're the T.S. Eliot of the board I am always sure that you understand
My feelings, always sure that you feel,
Sure that across the gulf you reach your hand.
You are invulnerable, you have no Achilles’ heel.
You will go on, and when you have prevailed
You can say: at this point many a one has failed.
But what have I, but what have I, my friend,
To give you, what can you receive from me?
Only the friendship and the sympathy
Of one about to reach her journey’s end.
Last edited by HiddenMoon; 06/08/15 07:44 PM.
Go I Know Not Whither and Fetch I Know Not What
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Wow, what a compliment! I'm woefully unlearned in poetry as a whole, but I like to pretend that I can write somewhat lyrically, so this is a compliment beyond measure! I'm sure I can find some way of suffering through the distinction!
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,660 Likes: 10
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,660 Likes: 10 |
Stepping out of Lurker mode .... I have been quietly reading the different comments from so many readers it is fascinating to see how Anti-Kryptonite's groundbreaking story has touched us. Hidden Moon, what a lovely poem! We are certainly glad to have you on the msbs! 
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 167 |
Hidden Moon, what a lovely poem! We are certainly glad to have you on the msbs! Thank you Morgana! I'm glad to be here, too I really want to stress that the poem is not mine: I was just quoting Eliot's The Waste Land... I think that piece suits well the mood of Anti-K's story.
Go I Know Not Whither and Fetch I Know Not What
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