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Comments? My first fanfic.


Cuidadora

"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor

"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly

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I loved the story. As I read it I wondered when in the L&C timeline it occurred. Obviously not real early as Lois would never get in Superman's face because she was so smitten by him and put him up on the high pedestal. Maybe early in season 3 after she knew he was just Clark and was still a bit annoyed with him for deceiving her for so long (Contact/When Irish Eyes are Killing/Just Say Noah timeframe).

Anyway a great way to start!

Thanks

Mike

Last edited by Mike M; 05/30/15 12:00 PM.

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Remove all the misery you are able to remove.

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Thank you Mike for your comment. I'm delighted you loved it!

It takes place in Just Say Noah. The background is Lois was angry because Clark broke up with her "for her own good" and didn't discuss it with her first. And the nun in the show was played by Dean Cain's mother.


Cuidadora

"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor

"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly

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What a phenomenal debut. I am impressed. I hope that this proves to be but the first of many fanfics we'll see from you.

My favourite line was:
Quote
Mary Frances promised to help Lois see how imperfection was not the same as failure. Sadly, she knew that lesson was not complete when class ended.
So true!

I loved how Mother Mary Frances was just like Clark with her own secret identity so that she can escape from the idolization and just be herself.

Joy,
Lynn

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Love it! And the principal of my elementary school was named Sister Mary Frances.


"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”

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Yea! Another tale! clap I immediately recognized the setting and the character, and the ridiculous spat that Lois and Superman were having in front of so many people, as if no one would overhear them. Making this nun a witness to the bus incident from the pilot was a great twist and perfect for the challenge. It makes sense that people who have lived in Metropolis for years would run into Superman on multiple occasions and be able to connect pieces of information that reveal his secret. Her connection to Lois was also amusing. Great job for a new author!


You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie. wink
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You've been holding back on us, cuidadora, if THIS is your first story! clap (Be sure to submit it to LabRat at the Archives to automatically qualify for Best New Author at next year's Kerth Awards.)

This story is excellent on many levels. First off, I love the parallels between Mother Mary Frances and Superman.
Quote
They expected her to live above other people, always be Mother Superior and have no sense of humor. Enduring their expectations was exhausting.

Mary Frances loved working with people, especially the orphans. So she bore being placed on that pedestal, but sometimes the mantle of being Mother Mary Frances was too heavy and on that pedestal she felt too exposed.

Then she would throw off her mantle and step down off her pedestal to be just Sister Mary Frances for a while. Sister Mary Frances could be anonymous in a crowd, well as anonymous as a nun could be. She could laugh and cry, make mistakes and be more normal. Like today, when she acted ditzy. Seeing Superman smile and relax his stance for a moment after her performance was her reward.
How, although she loves being Mother Superior, how exhausting other people's expectations were. How she likes to step off the high pedestal of being a Mother Superior just to be a regular Sister. How she likes to unwind with a cup of tea. How she likes to blend into the crowd, just like another person we know. What a wonderful analogy.

I also like that she knew Lois from before and saw the connection between her and Superman.
Quote
Lois Lane.

Sister Mary Frances was her teacher. The first time she heard it, Lois had just gotten a 98 on her paper, and demanded she deserved a 100.
Sadly, here, she saw Lois as continuing to be stubborn and wrong, instead of Superman having been in the wrong. Then again, as Lois says in that scene, nobody ever sees him in that light. He's a "National Treasure". How could Lois compete with that?

I just feel for Lois. Knowing that she was begging for the 100, only so she could please her father, not herself, and Mary Frances never saw that. It shows us another light on that horrible day in Lois's past and also, how she's once more suffering now due to another man's pig-headness. She thought that Clark wouldn't hurt her as all the other men in her life had, and at the first opportunity he breaks up with her due to due to no fault of her own (except going where she shouldn't and getting hurt). Thankfully, Lois doesn't recognize Sister Mary or the pain Clark's inflicted upon her might double.

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And that’s when she promised herself two things: she’d never tell anyone what she saw, and if the opportunity arose she’d find a way to make his day brighter.
Well, I'm glad she's willing to help Clark. And she does make his life feel more special by calling him a "National Treasure" even if Lois isn't feeling that way about him at the moment.

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She wanted to show Lois that being imperfect is part of life and doesn’t mean failure. Whether you’re from Earth or Krypton mistakes are part of life. And that’s how she kept her three promises today.
Sadly, I believe Lois missed that message. frown Perhaps her words started Lois on the path that finally leads her to forgiving Clark.

Quote
And she hoped and prayed that whenever he needed a break Superman would be able to step down off his pedestal, leave his mantle…err cape… safely behind, melt into the crowd and be a regular guy.
Again, you end with the parallels to Clark's life. Love it!

I, too, had forgotten which episode featured the nun. I could recall the scene and the accident, but not what the nun said. I had to go back to the JSN script and double check. lol It definitely was silly.

clap Fun story, cuidadora. I hope you'll share more with us.


VirginiaR.
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Lynn S.M.:
Thank you.

Quote
My favourite line was:
Quote
Mary Frances promised to help Lois see how imperfection was not the same as failure. Sadly, she knew that lesson was not complete when class ended.
So true!
Yes, and sad for Lois.

I wanted to show how sometimes ordinary people also need to escape the fishbowl they live in.

*****

Annie B.:

Quote
Love it! And the principal of my elementary school was named Sister Mary Frances.

What a delightful coincidence! I love it! I'm delighted you loved the story. Thanks!

*****
groobie:

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I immediately recognized the setting and the character, and the ridiculous spat that Lois and Superman were having in front of so many people, as if no one would overhear them.

I agree it was a ridiculous place to have an argument. Bystanders, first responders, reporters all potentially were there ready to collect tidbits from their spat.

Quote
Making this nun a witness to the bus incident from the pilot was a great twist and perfect for the challenge. It makes sense that people who have lived in Metropolis for years would run into Superman on multiple occasions and be able to connect pieces of information that reveal his secret.

It made sense to me, too. I also thought Mary Frances seeing Clark stopping the bus and Superman having an argument/spat/discussion with Lois showed both Clark doing something super and Superman doing something not super.

Glad you enjoyed my story. It's thanks to you and VirginiaR creating this challenge that this story exists.


Cuidadora

"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor

"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly

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VirginiaR:

Yes, it really is my first fanfiction. I've written brief stories as part of blog posts, but never fanfiction. And I will submit it to the Archives.

And thank you for creating this challenge with groobie.

Quote
First off, I love the parallels between Mother Mary Frances and Superman.

Quote
How, although she loves being Mother Superior, how exhausting other people's expectations were. How she likes to step off the high pedestal of being a Mother Superior just to be a regular Sister. How she likes to unwind with a cup of tea. How she likes to blend into the crowd, just like another person we know.

Once I started, I kept finding more parallels.

Quote
I also like that she knew Lois from before and saw the connection between her and Superman.
Quote
Lois Lane.

Sister Mary Frances was her teacher. The first time she heard it, Lois had just gotten a 98 on her paper, and demanded she deserved a 100.

Sadly, here, she saw Lois as continuing to be stubborn and wrong, instead of Superman having been in the wrong. Then again, as Lois says in that scene, nobody ever sees him in that light. He's a "National Treasure". How could Lois compete with that?

I totally agree with you. I decided to stay as consistent as possible to the dialogue in the episode, and the nun fulfilling what Lois predicted.

Quote
I just feel for Lois. Knowing that she was begging for the 100, only so she could please her father, not herself, and Mary Frances never saw that. It shows us another light on that horrible day in Lois's past and also, how she's once more suffering now due to another man's pig-headness. She thought that Clark wouldn't hurt her as all the other men in her life had, and at the first opportunity he breaks up with her due to due to no fault of her own (except going where she shouldn't and getting hurt). Thankfully, Lois doesn't recognize Sister Mary or the pain Clark's inflicted upon her might double.

Yes, I agree. I thought it would be consistent with Lois's character that she would not confess her father's words to Mary Frances. And Sister Mary Frances may have been inexperienced as a teacher at this point, and not aware of or sympathetic to Lois's pain.

In the episode Martha and Jonathan side with Lois over this argument. I don't recall anyone ever telling her that though, and wish Martha or Clark had - to help ease Lois's pain.

Yes, Lois was in enough pain without recognizing Sister Mary Frances.

Quote
Quote
She wanted to show Lois that being imperfect is part of life and doesn’t mean failure. Whether you’re from Earth or Krypton mistakes are part of life. And that’s how she kept her three promises today.
Sadly, I believe Lois missed that message. frown Perhaps her words started Lois on the path that finally leads her to forgiving Clark.

I thought Lois missed the message too, and hope it at least subconsciously helped her to forgive Clark.

And I also couldn't recall which episode this was. Thank goodness for the online scripts. I was able to look through the list of characters in each episode to find the right one.

Thanks for your comments.


Cuidadora

"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor

"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly

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For your first effort this was light an enjoyable to read, but also thought provoking.

lois might have missed what Mary Frances was saying, but at least Superman benefited from her actions.


Morgana

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Oh, I love the complexity. I was definitely not expecting the nun to know Lois, and I definitely wasn't thinking that it would tie in to the pilot! I wonder though, when she started seeing the Lane and Kent posters, if Sister recognized Clark as the man who'd stopped the bus. Really loved this story!


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Deadly Chakram

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Wonderful job, cuidadora clap. And first attempt? Wow notworthy.

I very much enjoyed the parallels you created between Mary Frances and Superman. It was such a creative idea to draw from those similarities in your story, weave them in as you did. And I totally echo being impressed by connecting the nun in JSN with a nun from the Pilot. I love how much 'smaller' of a world it seems when a character can overlap like that.

I knew the scene immediately that you were referring to when I started the story. It's always struck me as such a strange time and place for Lois and (while Clark dressed as) Superman to try to have a discussion dizzy wallbash.

Amazing job smile
Laura


"Where's Clark?" "Right here."

...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.

~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Morgana:

Thank you. Sometimes when offering help it's not in the form someone needs or can accept. I like to think it helped Lois eventually.

Deadly Chakram:

The complexity grew with the story. I'm glad it came across.

Whether or not she knows Clark is a great question, and one that is left up to the Reader to decide.

Thanks!

Laura:

Thank you. The parallels were so much fun once I saw Mary Frances as similar to Clark. Both started out just wanting to help and took on roles that people looked up to in ways they didn't expect. Both needed privacy to continue those roles, and it made sense that drinking tea would be one thing they'd share.

I agree that scene was silly and dangerous to have any kind of a discussion like that in public between Lois and Superman. We can be glad it wasn't real life as they would likely have been overheard by the wrong person(s), and maybe even videotaped.


Cuidadora

"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor

"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly

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Wow, excellent story! Very thought-provoking! I love the insight about Lois perceiving imperfection as failure -- such a powerful line! And really, it is so true about Lois, for herself primarily, but also for everyone around her that she cares about. She did see Clark's imperfections as failures, and sometimes found it hard to forgive him even when he forgave hers so easily. I love that the nun wanted to help them both and found a way to do so in a way that didn't compromise either of them or make Superman uncomfortable with her knowledge. It's also nice to know that someone was on Clark's side -- I usually end up feeling badly for him in the episodes where he and Lois are at odds because everyone up to and including his parents generally take Lois's side and aren't afraid to let him know it, so it was nice to have someone looking out for him here. I've always loved this scene where we see how people see him, and Lois gets a reminder -- even though she's not looking for it and resents it -- that Clark might not be the perfect hero she once dreamed about, but he is a hero and a good man.

The nun's character was very well-drawn. I loved that she tied back to the Pilot -- when I saw this was about a nun, I wondered if it would be the Pilot nun or the Just Say Noah nun, and it was a treat to have her be both. So sad that she recognized Clark's haunted look for what it was after he saved so many people's lives.

Such a great episode-centered story. Thanks for sharing!

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Thanks AntiKryptonite for your review.

I agree that in many episodes where Clark and Lois don't see eye to eye it seems as though those closest to Clark take her side. And, as a result sadly he's even more alone than usual. It was fun to write someone eager to help both of them.


Cuidadora

"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor

"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly

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Hi cuidadora!

Quote
They expected her to live above other people, always be Mother Superior and have no sense of humor.
She could place a fart cushion on one of her visitor’s chairs?

Quote
She heard the soft tone of deep anger and hurt in the woman’s voice, a tone she first heard 17 years ago in a 10-year old girl.

Lois Lane.
Huh. Oh?

Quote
Sister Mary Frances was her teacher. The first time she heard it, Lois had just gotten a 98 on her paper, and demanded she deserved a 100.
laugh clap

Quote
Mary Frances wondered if she would see Lois again in another 17 years with the same tone in her voice.
Talking to a 15 y/o?

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After that class all those years ago, Mary Frances promised to help Lois see how imperfection was not the same as failure. Sadly, she knew that lesson was not complete when class ended.
Aww…Lois really *is* Lex’s soul mate!

Quote
Oh yes, she remembered how Lois as a child was never wrong, and was never shy about letting others know it either… over and over again.
Looks like she was already very mature back then. No need to learn anything else in the intervening years.

Quote
Mary Frances held out hope that Lois had matured and forgave more easily.
I guess it depends of the amount of high quality chocolate being presented as a sacrifice at the Ice Queen’s altar.

Very inspired web you wove clap

wave Michael


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Hi Michael! wave

Quote
She could place a fart cushion on one of her visitor’s chairs?
rotflol

Quote
Aww…Lois really *is* Lex’s soul mate!
That reaction I never expected! shock

Quote
Looks like she was already very mature back then. No need to learn anything else in the intervening years.
Well, maybe she's learned to occasionally admit to herself that maybe she didn't have all the facts, although admitting to being wrong to anyone else might be stretching it. laugh

Thanks for reading and your comments!


Cuidadora

"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor

"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly

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Quote
Aww…Lois really *is* Lex’s soul mate!

That reaction I never expected! /is really shocked/
Thanks. I try to surprise in my FDK wink

Quote
Well, maybe she's learned to occasionally admit to herself that maybe she didn't have all the facts, although admitting to being wrong to anyone else might be stretching it.
rotflol

wave Michael


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Very inspired story, I love trying to take a deeper look at some of the little things that happen in the show. To me this seems like one of the best opportunities in fan fiction - fleshing out parts of the story that weren't originally given much attention. Great insight into the characters and great job giving a deep character and personality to the nun.

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Originally Posted by TaliaJoy
Very inspired story, I love trying to take a deeper look at some of the little things that happen in the show. To me this seems like one of the best opportunities in fan fiction - fleshing out parts of the story that weren't originally given much attention. Great insight into the characters and great job giving a deep character and personality to the nun.

Hi TaliaJoy!

I'm glad you liked it. That's one of my favorite things about fan fiction, too. Whether it's a major or minor character, it's fun to see more depth than can be portrayed in tv or the movies.

It's nice to see another comment on this older story! Thanks for commenting! hyper


Cuidadora

"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor

"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly


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