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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814 |
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,393 Likes: 1
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,393 Likes: 1 |
Awesome, as are all of your stories. And, as always, powerful.
Well done.
Joy,
Lynn
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,329
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,329 |
Awesome! I just loved the way Wells manipulated him, for his own good of course. He had basically given up, never to die, never to live again. Now he has a new purpose and anyone who thinks they won't meet up is kidding themselves.
It is great as a one shot but could easily be a longer story except now he would have two huge revelations to eventually get through with this Lois. The fact that he was an alien super hero would probably be the easiest of the two...
Mike
Last edited by Mike M; 04/12/15 05:48 PM. Reason: damn commas
Create all the happiness you are able to create.
Remove all the misery you are able to remove.
Jeremy Bentham
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
I echo everything that Lynn and Mike wrote.  Excellent. I do wonder how or if Clark will accomplish avoiding Lois. I understand his reasoning, but WILL he be able to resist her and stay away, knowing what he knows? She isn't his wife, but she is still Lois, so he'll probably have to rescue her at some point. 
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,658 Likes: 10
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,658 Likes: 10 |
Impressive!
Your writing conveys in a few hundred words what it would take many of us three chapters.
Excellent story. If Clark thinks he can live on this new world and not meet up with Lois Lane, he's crazy.
This story can go in so many directions. For instance; since Kal-El's ship never landed in Smallville, what happened to Jonathan and Martha?
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Joined: Apr 2013
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2013
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This story can go in so many directions. For instance; since Kal-El's ship never landed in Smallville, what happened to Jonathan and Martha? I had not even thought of that, will he still claim to be Clark Kent? Will he be able to not go and at least see the Kents? I mean they have been gone from his life for what must seem to him like an eternity? How will he get a reporter job with no references/experience/degree (at least in this AU)? I guess Wells could assist in that... Lots of questions, lots of possibilities. Mike
Create all the happiness you are able to create.
Remove all the misery you are able to remove.
Jeremy Bentham
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 2 |
Haunting. Poor Clark. Lost his Lois and now being faced with her "twin" in a sense. It's got to be like a knife in his heart - at least for the moment, until he gets to know her, I'm sure. And while I don't believe he could ever lover her like he did his own, true Lois, at least he's gotten back that critical spark of life.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: Sep 2006
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Sep 2006
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What everyone else wrote is nothing but true. This story, short as it is, is powerful, emotional and, well, exciting because it's so full of possibilities. (Heck, your story is strong enough to draw me out of lurkdom!) I just hope it's meant to be the prequel to a whole series, or a very long story at the very least. 
The only known quantity that moves faster than
light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
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Joined: Dec 2003
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
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Brava! It takes incredible talent and skill to so vividly paint a picture of this completely original idea in so few words. New fanfic from you is always an absolute treasure. 
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie. 
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Joined: Sep 2013
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2013
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Wow! More...please?  Completely echo everyone's comments. So full of feeling, and so powerfully written. And SO many options of where to go, where you could take us! It really is amazing how you can convey so much into a smaller piece. You really have the ability to pull the reader in  . Having recently become a huge fan of your work--voraciously read through "In Time, Somewhere", "Vagrant", and "Homecoming" very recently  --would love to see where you could take this story. Awesome job Laura
Last edited by LMA; 04/14/15 12:38 PM.
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
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lisa in the sky with diamonds
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Joined: Dec 2005
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
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Well, we can probably guess how that one's going to turn out... It ought to give Clark something to live for, and with a bit of luck his knowledge of events in his original timeline will short-circuit a few problems.
Marcus L. Rowland
Forgotten Futures, The Scientific Romance Role Playing Game
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,944 Likes: 28
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,944 Likes: 28 |
Hi Shane! Lois? Decades of silver hair, age-kissed skin and loving eyes had changed his memories, caused them to fade. Daughter? The music this Lois was playing took him back. Awwww This girl had her heartbeat.
“Are you trying to torture me?” he asked, turning to the man beside him.  The man beside him had always been a meddler, obsessed with making sure that his version of Utopia was achieved, even if it created chaos in Clark and Lois's lives. Oooo-kay, now I’m getting worried. Is this Lois-his-soulmate or Lois-his-granddaughter or Lois-a-lot-younger-and-from-another-dimension? In this era no one would have expected Lois to even reach the age of forty, much less live a century beyond that. Ah, yes. The middle ages, glorious times where you didn’t have to worry about pension funds. “Your rocket never made it off Krypton here,” Wells said quietly. “I don't know why. I don't suppose we'll ever really know.” They got off 500 years too late on this Earth? “She's not MY Lois,” Clark said. Unless…? Long-lived Clark with an alternate Lois? Also, the lived-past-40 just referenced her getting killed off early, then? It was like being a widower and meeting your ex-wife's twin, except that this Lois was closer than any twin was ever going to be. More like a clone, really. “If you don't help her, she'll end up with Luthor, and she'll be dead within a year.” I guess she’s lucky that way? Only staying with Lex for a year. Lois ending up with him or with Lex. Hmm… “Fine. I'll get a job at one of the other papers. I'll take Luthor down on my own, and I'll never have to meet...her.” He looked down suddenly. /Gibbs-slaps him/ His was a world of peace and tranquility. TEMPUS: Shoot me. Just shoot me, please? Yet here he could hear sirens in the distance, the sounds of screams, of cars crashing. TEMPUS:  It should have upset him, but he found an unfamiliar sense of excitement in the pit of his stomach. CLARK: A Lois. Alive and wreaking havoc! He'd have to make it clear that they could never be anything more than work competitors. Maybe if he dated guys? I hear that billionaire over on the other side of the bay is still single. You know, the one living in Gotham. Somehow everything seemed a little less gray.  Adorable!  Michael
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