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So. How did you like the addition to the Chinese take-out scene?

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KatherineKent/Victoria
Lois: "You put up with me for the same reason I put up with you. It's because I'm completely in love with you."
Clark: "And I love you ... Did we just make up?"
Lois: "I think so."
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They definitely almost got closer there. That was a definite near miss in a way the original wasn't (quite). I loved her reaction to the "man in blue" comment. Definitely remembers that suit, it seems,


CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)
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Pulitzer
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The additional points to the Chinese takeout scene is very intuitive:

Quote
As she crossed another paper off her 'no date found' list she suddenly realised that Clark had said he knew a Chinese place. He'd only been in Metropolis two days. And he'd spent most of that time here, or with her at Lex's ball. So, actually, he'd spent the last two days with her.

How did he know a good Chinese takeaway already? Maybe there was one near his hotel. She shrugged and returned to work.

Quote
Her eyes widened as she suddenly realised how close to being true that statement probably was. Clark's short cut … probably took him all the way to China. And it was still hot because … well, the air at 10,000 feet was probably pretty cold so his short cut wasn't responsible for the heat … his eyes were.

But no matter what, the food must have been delicious!

The back and forth over silly fortunes between Lois and Clark was funny, but I can't help but prefer the original scene. Lois was the perfect example of Career woman ready to make her mark on the world. She really didn't have time for the young man from Nowheresville.

But oh, what fun watching Clark strive to make her notice him! clap

Last edited by Morgana; 03/01/15 11:23 AM.

Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Totally agree and was going to mention what Morgana brought up. Having Lois know their future, it was really interesting seeing Lois 'catching' little details about Clark (that in the original she never woud have thought to notice). I really was impressed by her perceptiveness...the food probably would be from China, it's hot b/c of Clark's heat-vision. If this Clark only knew how much Lois DOES know about him blush...

The 'look' Lois and Clark give each other, followed by the 'Don't fall for me farmboy...' line from the Pilot Chinese take-out scene--I kept waiting and wondering if you'd take us there in this story. You definitely had them flirting--you could feel the connection. The famous line...I really can't see this Lois saying it as much (due to the fact that she is completely head over heals for Clark). Panicking about a near kiss? That fits...the build up in Lois' mind, all this time she's been waiting to meet and fall for Clark--I can see her doing what you had her do.

Oh, and by the way, loved the back and forth about the fortunes--very cute clap...

Can't wait for the next part smile
Laura

Last edited by LMA; 03/01/15 01:03 PM.

"Where's Clark?" "Right here."

...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.

~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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I loved it! The additional banter was great - the sense that they already have such an easy friendship that they can easily fall into a pattern of joking with each other. clap

Quote
The laughter suddenly died. She straightened up, removing her hands from her stomach. Clark leaned a little closer.

"Lois," he whispered.

Another memory … hundreds of snippets of memory … told her what was coming next. Panic mode set in. "Don't," she whispered in terror, her eyes wide.

Clark stared back at her, frozen. After a wait, that was both too short and too long, he pulled away and turned to start collecting the takeout containers.
I absolutely felt this moment when I read it - it was very well written. The second that seems frozen in time, and then the reality that breaks it...so good! thumbsup


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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hello again smile
I really enjoyed this chapter, more than the previous ones: I'm still a bit on the fence about this mood-shifting Lois (poor Clark, I guess he's really having a hard time trying to figure this woman out!), but now it seems she's starting to regain a bit of composure, like she's in charge of her defenses again.
I like the fact that we see Clark through Lois' eyes, not really knowing what's going on in his mind: it's a nice way to keep the story intriguing. smile
P.S.: For the record, I really thought that the line starting with Clark whispering "Lois..." would end with something like: "...You've got something stuck in your teeth" wink


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Originally Posted by HiddenMoon
P.S.: For the record, I really thought that the line starting with Clark whispering "Lois..." would end with something like: "...You've got something stuck in your teeth" wink
rotflol Great idea. Also, welcome to the LnC Message Boards, Hidden Moon. wave

I, too, loved the back and forth addition of the fortune cookies. The "blue suit" one and Lois's reaction was priceless. Will it have an influence on how Clark chooses his costume? Will he look in the mirror when he tries on the blue suit and smile, thinking "A man in a blue suit will change your life, Lois Lane."?? clap I think so.

What did Clark think when Lois said "don't"? Does he react in the same way that he does when she cockily says "don't fall for me" or does he suspect she's pushing him away for another reason? She's already shown Clark she's more vulnerable that canon Lois did (she waited until Toni Barnes had them locked up in the Messenger Hangar). I can't see that convincing him to move on, but it might have him fall deeper, sooner. You know Clark, he can't resist a woman in need of a hero.

I have to agree with Lois. AT WORK probably isn't the best time or place for their first kiss.


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Beat Reporter
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Great new part. The scene with the fortunes was really cute.


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Originally Posted by Christina
They definitely almost got closer there. That was a definite near miss in a way the original wasn't (quite). I loved her reaction to the "man in blue" comment. Definitely remembers that suit, it seems,
Yup, although not fully. Enough to know that the comment was quite significant, although unintentionally.

Originally Posted by Morgana
The back and forth over silly fortunes between Lois and Clark was funny, but I can't help but prefer the original scene.
Yeah, I know what you mean. I love the way the whole series played out (well 99% of it) so even when I re-write a scene - or anyone re-writes it - the original is still deep in my heart.

Quote
Lois was the perfect example of Career woman ready to make her mark on the world. She really didn't have time for the young man from Nowheresville.
Nope. And I always smile to think of how she had noooo idea what she's letting slip through her fingers.

Quote
But oh, what fun watching Clark strive to make her notice him! clap
Ahhh, he strives and strives, and he's so patient, and perfect.

Originally Posted by LMA
Totally agree and was going to mention what Morgana brought up. Having Lois know their future, it was really interesting seeing Lois 'catching' little details about Clark (that in the original she never woud have thought to notice). I really was impressed by her perceptiveness...the food probably would be from China, it's hot b/c of Clark's heat-vision. If this Clark only knew how much Lois DOES know about him blush...
He might run away in terror ... LOL

Quote
The 'look' Lois and Clark give each other, followed by the 'Don't fall for me farmboy...' line from the Pilot Chinese take-out scene--I kept waiting and wondering if you'd take us there in this story. You definitely had them flirting--you could feel the connection. The famous line...I really can't see this Lois saying it as much (due to the fact that she is completely head over heals for Clark).
No, there was no way that she could say it. But I love that line, and Clark's responding expression, so I had to find a way of putting something similar in.

Quote
Panicking about a near kiss? That fits...the build up in Lois' mind, all this time she's been waiting to meet and fall for Clark--I can see her doing what you had her do.
Good, glad it felt right.

Quote
Oh, and by the way, loved the back and forth about the fortunes--very cute clap...

Can't wait for the next part smile
Laura
Thank you. I thought the fortunes banter was cute too.

Originally Posted by groobie
I loved it! The additional banter was great - the sense that they already have such an easy friendship that they can easily fall into a pattern of joking with each other. clap
Thanks

Quote
Quote
The laughter suddenly died. She straightened up, removing her hands from her stomach. Clark leaned a little closer.

"Lois," he whispered.

Another memory … hundreds of snippets of memory … told her what was coming next. Panic mode set in. "Don't," she whispered in terror, her eyes wide.

Clark stared back at her, frozen. After a wait, that was both too short and too long, he pulled away and turned to start collecting the takeout containers.
I absolutely felt this moment when I read it - it was very well written. The second that seems frozen in time, and then the reality that breaks it...so good! thumbsup
Thank you.

Originally Posted by HiddenMoon
Hello again smile
Hey there. Welcome. grin

Quote
I really enjoyed this chapter, more than the previous ones: I'm still a bit on the fence about this mood-shifting Lois (poor Clark, I guess he's really having a hard time trying to figure this woman out!), but now it seems she's starting to regain a bit of composure, like she's in charge of her defenses again.
I think you are supposed to feel on the fence/unsure about this mood-shifting Lois, because SHE is unsure. Although she knew Clark would come along, it was still a shock to see him, and she's trying to figure out what to say and do, and how to behave around him. She will settle down eventually. smile

Quote
I like the fact that we see Clark through Lois' eyes, not really knowing what's going on in his mind: it's a nice way to keep the story intriguing. smile
I found it really hard to write this way. I always put both viewpoints in my stories, so to keep this at Lois only was hard. I still had to know what Clark was thinking, and also had to try and get it across to the reader - sometimes, but Lois doesn't always get it right when she's trying to figure him out ... even with all her downloaded knowledge from the future.

Quote
P.S.: For the record, I really thought that the line starting with Clark whispering "Lois..." would end with something like: "...You've got something stuck in your teeth" wink
lol I can just see that. What a real mood breaker.

Originally Posted by VirginiaR
I, too, loved the back and forth addition of the fortune cookies. The "blue suit" one and Lois's reaction was priceless. Will it have an influence on how Clark chooses his costume? Will he look in the mirror when he tries on the blue suit and smile, thinking "A man in a blue suit will change your life, Lois Lane."?? clap I think so.
We will never know ... as this scene does not have Lois in it. grin What do you think?

Quote
What did Clark think when Lois said "don't"? Does he react in the same way that he does when she cockily says "don't fall for me" or does he suspect she's pushing him away for another reason? She's already shown Clark she's more vulnerable that canon Lois did (she waited until Toni Barnes had them locked up in the Messenger Hangar).
Yes, they have become more comfortable with each other already ... and THAT scene is still to come, too.

Quote
I can't see that convincing him to move on, but it might have him fall deeper, sooner. You know Clark, he can't resist a woman in need of a hero.
lol We will just have to see.

Quote
I have to agree with Lois. AT WORK probably isn't the best time or place for their first kiss.
Whyever not! I think it would be a great place for a first kiss. And a second kiss. And possibly a third, and fourth ... as infinitum.

Originally Posted by Lady Loisette
Great new part. The scene with the fortunes was really cute.
Thanks.


KatherineKent/Victoria
Lois: "You put up with me for the same reason I put up with you. It's because I'm completely in love with you."
Clark: "And I love you ... Did we just make up?"
Lois: "I think so."

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