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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
TOVOM TOC I hope you enjoyed the story! 
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie. 
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Columnist
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Beautifully done.
I like the solution to the clone lifespan issue, too. Two week lifespan? Cellular decay? Nah. Lex just lied.
Shallowford
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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OOOh what a great continuation for these classic tales!  I always felt sorry for Clois. Let's hope Lex lied in this situation as well. So if that is the case, will these clones leave Metropolis and find a life for themselves elsewhere? Barry has grown up so much, its time for him to get a real job to continue that growth.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Columnist
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... will these clones leave Metropolis and find a life for themselves elsewhere? Barry has grown up so much, its time for him to get a real job to continue that growth. How about Jamaica? Please?  (Secretly trying to goad Labby into a Masques crossover now!!!  ) And where's alt-Clark when you really need him? 
Shallowford
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Posts: 9,362 |
LOL. I wish. Sadly, the muse has refused to do anything more with the Masques sequel than the two pages of notes and three paras of an opening scene she wrote too many years ago now to count. But, you know, never say never...  But I can't tell you what having my old story mentioned has done for my day! Thank you.   Oh, and should YOU want to use any of the plot or character elements in Masques in your own sequel to your story, Shallowford - you certainly have my blessing! LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Barry found clone Lois! And she's not going to die like Lex told her she would, hopefully. A happy ending for everybody! 
"Who's asking? Clark... or Superman?"
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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What a great chapter! I loved the argument between Barry and Clark, and then them resolving their differences by fighting -- Lois is lucky they didn't do more damage to her apartment.
The ending was great -- Barry found Lois's clone, and they have a chance at a happy ending.
"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Sad that Lois couldn't discern that Barry wasn't Clark, though. Apparently, Barry's been practicing his moves with the ladies at those 'adult' parties. Enough for Lois to think that he was a better kisser than even Clark. Clark Kent was an amazing kisser. The brief goodbye kiss during the heat wave last year? Tender and sweet. The rouse before they were pushed out of Trask’s plane? Pleasurable, but just a distraction. The distraction in the Lexor Hotel? That one should have prompted her to demand more.
But even Superman’s pheromone-induced kiss didn’t compare to what Clark Kent had just done to her on her couch. His strong fingers working their way through her hair, touching spots on her scalp that sent an electric zing through her nervous system. The press of his full, swollen lips against hers, and the soft moans that scattered her thoughts. His broad tongue slipping between her teeth and frantically jousting with hers. Perhaps with longer exposure she would have realized that Barry wasn't exactly acting as Clark did. She was a bit distracted with 'Clark' coming back to life and all. It served Clark well to have Lois dump him as Superman so that she could be Clark. Hee-hee. Barry straightened his spine and removed all traces of his jovial personality from his face. “When I saw the article, it seemed obvious that you hadn’t told her about you. Otherwise, why would she have had a picture of Superman in her purse?”
Clark stood up straight, squaring his shoulders. “So, what, you were just going to sweep in here and take over my life?”
“I don’t want your life. I don’t want to be Clark Kent. I told her I was a clone. It’s not my fault she didn’t ask a follow-up question.”
Clark narrowed his eyes. “So you just want her.”
And something in the way Clark looked at him, the evident jealousy burning behind his eyes, irked Barry. How arrogant that Clark believed he had an exclusive right to Lois. “Why not?” Barry asked, intending to wound Clark where it would hurt the most. “If you don’t want to love her, then I will. And it’s obvious you don’t want her or you wouldn’t have faked your death.”
“I didn’t have a choice!” Clark raised his voice in a pitch of despair. “Some people would go to any lengths to find a way to hurt me.” Clark set his jaw. “You know that better than anyone.”
“So you get an exclusive hold on her? You won’t have her, but no one else can either?” Barry scoffed. “That’s so arrogant.”
“I love her.”
“Not enough to be honest with her.”
“So now you’re my moral judge? You get to decide when I tell her the truth?” Barry's has a point. One year alive and he's wiser than a Kryptonian with almost 3 decades on him. I loved this! Barry and Clark without any experience whatsoever acted like brothers right from the get-go. I could just picture this: “Get out,” Clark said with a tone of menace he probably effectively wielded against everyone else.
Barry set his jaw, unwilling to be intimidated. “Make me.”
* * * * * * * * * *
“What the hell is going on here?” Lois shouted from her doorway.
Clark and Barry froze. Clark’s arm was wrapped around Barry’s neck, gripping him in a headlock, and Barry’s leg was locked around Clark’s, pinning him to the ground. Clark couldn’t imagine how shocking it must look to Lois to see Superman and Clark fighting like characters from the World Wrestling Federation.
Clark followed Lois’ eyes as she scanned the room. The apartment was in shambles; furniture overturned, holes in the drywall. Clark and Barry had been fighting, and the evidence was strewn about the room. He was breathing hard, muscles exhausted, desperately tired. Though Clark had easily defeated Barry a year ago, they were more than evenly matched now. This is the best part of the story!  I could total picture their matching contrite expressions, after freezing when Lois yelled at them.  Clark looked at Barry to see if he was going to speak. Barry looked back at him, silently communicating his support. Clark nodded slightly, acknowledging to both Barry and himself that it was time to end the lies.
Barry pointed at him. “He’s Clark.”
Clark pointed at Barry. “He’s Superman.”
Barry’s voice dipped in astonishment. “I am *not* Superman!”
Clark shrugged. “Well, you could be.”
Barry shook his head. “But I don’t want to be Superman.”
Clark smiled. “It might be nice to have a vacation every once in a while.”
Barry rolled his eyes. “I get paid by the hour.”
Lois interjected. “Geez, you two fight like brothers.” Her eyes widened as she looked back and forth between the two of them. “That’s why you can always get ahold of Superman so quickly.” Okay, I'm quoting the whole story. But this section was just hilarious! Clark seemed to draw in a breath, then gestured his hand towards the clone. “Lois, this is Barry. He was cloned by Lex Luthor, who used him to try and hurt me. But he’s been working as a Superman look-alike for the past year and really has changed the way he sees the world.” I know that there's a ton to absorb here, but I expected a bit more of a reaction from Lois and Clark about learning that Lex was the clone's "father". After a few minutes, Lois took a few tentative steps towards Barry and lowered her voice, even though it was now clear that Clark would be able to hear what she said anyway. She whispered harshly to Barry, “You shouldn’t have let me kiss you!”
Barry couldn’t seem to prevent a slight smile from curling the corner of his lip. “You’re kind of hard to resist.”
Lois let a small laugh slip at the compliment. Barry definitely inherited Clark's ability to wise-crack. ‘Superman is Clark and Clark is Superman and Barry is just Barry.’ Odd how the existence of a clone seemed like the easiest idea to accept. Yes, in a span of 24 hours, Lois's world went 180' to 360' to 270'. No wonder she's dizzy. Clark shifted restlessly; it seemed strange to see Superman project anything other than confidence. “I’m just gonna go,” he said as he made a fractional movement towards the window. ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/a050.gif) So, Barry really IS the smart one? The cape was tucked underneath him, and he shifted uncomfortably, tugging as if it felt wrong to be sitting on top of it. I agree. That just doesn't work. “Can you just take off those clothes?” she asked. Um....  CLARK: Definitely not the reaction I was expecting! I sure can! ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/n022.gif) LOIS: I mean CHANGE your clothes. CLARK: Oh... uh... ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/c085.gif) ... um... Sure. “No. Stay. I still want you...” Her throat caught on the words that most of her still wished were said under different circumstances. “Here. I still want you here.”
“And I want to be here. With you. Always.”
“You should know...” Lois took a calming breath to gather courage. “Even after all of this...” Lois’ voice got very quiet. “I still have feelings for you.”
Clark caught his breath, then asked, “Like a brother?”
Lois looked away and admitted, “No, not like a brother.” I don't know. After how Lois treated Clark's "brother" Barry, "like a brother" doesn't seem so bad now.  I'm glad you allowed Barry to get his Lois Lane, too. They both deserved some happiness. This isn't the idea I had, but then... that would have required a whole big mess of parts to clean up. This is more direct and to the point. /I was going to suggest that it was Barry, not Clark, who married Clois and got jilted on his honeymoon night. But, as I said, it would have taken much more explanation... such as how Barry and Clark switched places after Lex kidnapped Lois.../ She looked up at him, squinting slightly against the sunlight. “Oh. Hi, Clark.” Her eyebrows wrinkled in confusion, then she looked out at the pond. “I was just so hungry. But I don’t see any frogs.” Such a Clois thing to say. He tried to find a safer topic of conversation. Once again, he cast his eye over her filthy clothing. “What happened to you?” he asked.
She finished the hot dog and looked down at herself. “I must have passed out. When I woke up, there was so much rubble around me, like the tunnel had collapsed. It took me hours to get out of there.” Oooooooh. That makes sense. Of course, it leaves the problem that Clark's first wife (not his birth-wife) is still alive, therefore, he cannot marry Lois without becoming a bigamist, but that's fodder for another story. He bent forward, captured by the ingrained feelings for her that he had had his entire life. Barry kissed her, pressing his lips passionately against hers.
Barry felt her body freeze in surprise for a moment, but then her arms wrapped around his back and she leaned into his embrace. He darted his tongue across her lips, and she responding by parting her lips and moaning a soft sigh. And he was thrilled, because kissing was fun. Awwwww. Plus, that last line... Hilarious! A fun story! What a great idea teaming up Vatman with Barry. Brilliant!
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
Perhaps with longer exposure she would have realized that Barry wasn't exactly acting as Clark did. She was a bit distracted with 'Clark' coming back to life and all. Exactly...Lois isn't really isn't analyzing things too closely. She grieved her way through a sleepless night, and now is overwhelmed with joy that Clark's alive. She's just running with her emotions. Kissing is an art form - it take practice to perfect it. Barry has had a lot of practice in the past year. I have full faith and confidence that, with just a bit of practice, Lois will rate Clark's kisses even higher on the scale.  But that story would appear on the other side of the boards! I'm glad you all liked Barry and Clois...everyone deserves a happy ending! 
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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What a wonderful story! Barry's has a point. One year alive and he's wiser than a Kryptonian with almost 3 decades on him. My thoughts exactly! I dunno about the Barry and Lois thing, though... It kind of has Luke and Leia vibes to it. After all, they have the same father. (Kidding! Actually, I think it's a brilliant pairing.) If I were to quote my favourite passages in this part, I'd just be copying and pasting the entire part. So instead I'll just say, "BRAVA!" You did an exceptionally good job at providing verbal visuals. Your descriptions enabled me both to picture what was happening and how the characters were feeling, and they did so without slowing the story down. You also captured to perfection each character's voice. I know you are giving a prize of a story to whoever gets the most points on the quizzes... I would say that that makes *all* of us winners. Joy, Lynn
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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But he was resigned to it – Lois belonged to Clark. That hadn’t stopped him from smirking as he looked through her shirt, though. LOL. Who wouldn't be tempted given how much he connects with Lois (not in quite as strong of a connection as Clark does, but enough to have the hots for her in a way not everyone does). And like Lois points out when she has the powers, a lesser man WOULD have. So it was clear he hadn’t told her, that she didn’t know the most important thing about him. His brother was an absolute coward. While Luthor gave a lot of negative legacy to his learning, this is one little thing that (while maybe just a core thing, and not Luthor at all) seems like it's actually a bit positive. Clark and Barry froze. Clark’s arm was wrapped around Barry’s neck, gripping him in a headlock, and Barry’s leg was locked around Clark’s, pinning him to the ground. Clark couldn’t imagine how shocking it must look to Lois to see Superman and Clark fighting like characters from the World Wrestling Federation. I'm just imagining the scene here to be worse than when Clark was learning the NK martial arts visually. On top of that, I'm trying to imagine what Lois thought in that moment. Superman fighting Clark in her eyes. Then he closed his eyes, sighed, and spun – a whirlwind of colors coalesced, transforming the superhero into her best friend. I'm guessing he always imagined the transformation the other way (from Clark to Superman, rather than Superman fading into Clark). A small, smug smile tugged at the corner of his lip at the thought of how disappointed Lex Luthor would be with his son, and how satisfied Barry was with the man he had become. Luthor would definitely insist on greatness from his "son" when in actuality Barry is quite content to live and make a living out of being in the shadow of the real thing (through impersonating Superman at events rather than making his mark on the world, likely in a negative way). This mash-up worked quite beautifully. Bravo!
CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Wonderful Such a great story! Never before would have linked Vatman and TOGOM, but honestly Susan, you figured it out--gave us an amazing story--and even found a happy ending for Barry and Clois!  . Like I said while beta'ing, Barry and Cloise were really, IMO, the icing on the cake. LOVE them together--and never ever would have thought of it! Wonderful job ... Clark sighed, then pushed himself off the couch. “Well, that was too good to last,” he seemed to say to himself. I really enjoyed how your wrote Barry throughout both sections...parts like this, where the reader knows what he's talking about--but the comment seems to go under the radar to the other characters--I definitely liked. Details like this add so much and you are great at layering them into your story . Lois cut him off again. “I’ve been blind to a lot of things in my life, but when those bullets hit, I finally recognized the truth.” She looked Superman in the eyes. “I love Clark Kent. And I love you for bringing him back to me.” EEK!  . Poor, poor Clark. What a complicated way to find out that she loves 'Clark'. But, at least the 'Clark' she's initially talking about is him ? And now for Clark to deal with Barry... "I love her.”
“Not enough to be honest with her." And this is where Barry earned a lot of points in my book  . BINGO! I mean, I 'get' why Clark had to fake his death, BUT you don't go around causing pain like what Lois was going through to anyone-- especially when you love that person as much as Clark loves Lois. This was brilliantly direct, to the point, and 'Thank you, Barry!' for throwing it in his face . “What the hell is going on here?” Lois shouted from her doorway.  . No kidding! Can not imagine the shock of coming home to this! Barry pointed at him. “He’s Clark.”
Clark pointed at Barry. “He’s Superman.”
Barry’s voice dipped in astonishment. “I am *not* Superman!”
Clark shrugged. “Well, you could be.”
Barry shook his head. “But I don’t want to be Superman.”
Clark smiled. “It might be nice to have a vacation every once in a while.”
Barry rolled his eyes. “I get paid by the hour." This exchange was priceless! Love Barry's last line . Lois whipped around suddenly to face Clark. “And you! You’ve let me think you’re two different people for two years. You let me believe that you died in my arms!” my point . Great job, Lois . “No. Stay. I still want you...” Her throat caught on the words that most of her still wished were said under different circumstances. “Here. I still want you here.”
“And I want to be here. With you. Always.”
“You should know...” Lois took a calming breath to gather courage. “Even after all of this...” Lois’ voice got very quiet. “I still have feelings for you.”
Clark caught his breath, then asked, “Like a brother?”
Lois looked away and admitted, “No, not like a brother.”
His eyebrows raised just slightly and the hint of a smile could be seen at the corner of his mouth. But he bit his lower lip to contain it. Then he said, “I’ve lied to you once before. After Lex...when I took it back. I’ve never stopped.”
Lois looked up and into his eyes. She caught his meaning – thought back to that time and what had led up to it. “Oh,” she said as she remembered the confessions she had made to both halves of him. A look of guilt crossed her face. “I understand why you didn’t tell me right away.”
“Lois...” He seemed to say her name as if he treasured it. Clark placed his hand over hers; the connection felt like them – like what they were and what they could be again. She didn’t pull away.
Lois dared to look deeply into Clark’s eyes, wanting to see him without any deception between them. What she saw there, combined with what she felt inside, gave her hope that they could get past the hurt they had both caused the other. There's my WAFF . Awwwwww... Barry stopped breathing; his hands came up to caress her face. And he watched her eyes – her beautiful, luminous eyes – as she gazed back at him. An emotion was hiding there – the emotion he had always hoped he’d one day see.
He bent forward, captured by the ingrained feelings for her that he had had his entire life. Barry kissed her, pressing his lips passionately against hers.
Barry felt her body freeze in surprise for a moment, but then her arms wrapped around his back and she leaned into his embrace. He darted his tongue across her lips, and she responding by parting her lips and moaning a soft sigh. And he was thrilled, because kissing was fun.
They broke apart slightly and Barry slid his hands down to encircle her waist. His eyes widened with delight as he told her, “Lex Luthor lied to me about that lifespan thing, too. And I’ve been around for a lot longer than two weeks.”
Her eyes lit up and sparkled, and her mouth turned into a smile with the brightest of wattages – a smile that could recharge him as effectively as the light of the sun. For the first time ever, Barry felt complete.
He smiled and confessed to the love of his life, “But I’m not Clark Kent. You can call me Barry.” Awesome! Literally, everyone got the happy ending here . Love the story, Susan--amazing job! Laura
Last edited by LMA; 02/15/15 12:58 PM.
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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EPILOGUE!!!!!
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Beautiful! As far as my brain is concerned, this is now canon.
~•~
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Pulitzer
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Awesome, awesome story, very well tied up!!! It's on my list for next year's Kerths.  Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
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 Wow...I'm stunned and amazed by the feedback for this story! Thank you all so much! I can't even begin to say how good it feels.
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Did Zara track down Kal-El by just spotting Superman and tracking him to find his secret identity or did they have a way to actually track him by biology? If the latter they might find Berry first.
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Features Writer
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Great story! Not a mash-up I'd ever think of doing, and when I read the summary, I immediately thought it'd be a light, comedic story. But...but it was so much better! The opening scene with Clone/Barry was so well done and really had me feeling for him -- I usually do anyway, but the line about him not being mighty and his existence not being right really brought it all home in one short sentence. I loved Lois choosing out the funereal clothes for Clark and hiding the spark of life that always burned in him -- such a neat way of showing Lois's own pain and realized feelings for Clark, how she sees who Clark is, and also a nod to the readers in-the-know about the secret HE was hiding close to himself. Barry's conflict through being drawn to her but trying not to fall into old habits, so to speak, was very well done, and I was with him every step of the way. It would be so tempting, and I was glad he fought it, but then even though I was worried when he surrendered, I could understand why he would. Poor Clark! I know most people vilify him for the choices he made in this episode, but I've always thought he was the real victim in this storyline with no right answer at all. I wasn't too thrilled with Barry calling him out for a situation he didn't understand -- as if Clark had intentionally and purposely chosen to have his Clark identity killed off -- but I was really glad when Lois wasn't overly angry with him. It made my heart crack when he offered to just leave and showed such reticence. And the ending, pairing Barry and Clois, was the perfect touch! I'm so glad he found his own, childlike Lois -- that child-likeness is what made me sympathize with both of them, so it was so utterly fitting to have them end up together! Great story -- very deft handling of all the different elements!
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
Thanks for all of the compliments, Anti-K!  TOGOM was one of those episodes that I swore I'd never base a story around because I didn't think I had anything new to say, but Shallowford's challenge sparked my imagination. I love writing the back story for minor characters, and turning the Vatman clone into Barry was the perfect bridge to bring these two episodes together. I'm writing the sequel now - I'm already up to 56 pages, with several scenes still to write...but half of those pages will head right on over to the other side of the boards! Barry is enjoying life with his new girlfriend.
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Top Banana
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Yes!! While I could see the story with Lois and Clark was pretty complete, Barry and Clois had barely begun. I can't wait. 56 pages and not done? I have seen some stories on fanfiction.net like that. Original story is 6 chapters, sequel is 75 chapters Mike
Create all the happiness you are able to create.
Remove all the misery you are able to remove.
Jeremy Bentham
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