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Joined: Jun 2003
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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814 |
Not sure if I want to do anything with this...what do you all think?
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
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You're kidding?! This isn't just a tease of something you've already written?! I love your AU stories - you have such a great style and sense of mood. And your ideas are so creative...I envy your ability to craft unique A-plots. I know you can turn this nibble into a feast! Susan, who also desperately wants another story in the Vagrant/Homecoming universe
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Joined: Apr 2011
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
Shayne, I think you've got a secret career in the genre of romance! What a great beginning. Let's hope it isn't another one-off bodice ripper we never get to read. What is Lois studying? What is so important in New Orleans? Why, oh, why did she have to bring along her own personal third wheel? What will Lois do if she meets the man from her dreams? I'm a big fan of dreams being a clue of one's fate. This one seems to be a window into Lois's past life. Could it be the untold story of Lulu and the Lone Rider? More! More! More!
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Jan 2010
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2010
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I second these two. This needs more! You've set up some intriguing prospects (no pun intended) on whether or not this "King Midas" has superpowers. In the RL, part you're throwing hints out that Lois might end up meeting Clark, but no hint's how it would likely happen (yet). At the Parade in the chaos? At a museum? Running into each other on in front of the famous cathedral?
CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx. JONATHAN: A jinx? CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me. -"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,661 Likes: 10
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,661 Likes: 10 |
This alternative universe story is bold, fresh and new. You gotta finish it! Although, at first when Big Midas is named I thought about Lex Luthor. Now he certainly fits in the Old West, imagine him as either a slick saloon owner or a gunfighter complete with black hat. Yum! You have to add to this fic!
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2010
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Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks" My stories can be found herekj
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
Although, at first when Big Midas is named I thought about Lex Luthor. Now he certainly fits in the Old West, imagine him as either a slick saloon owner or a gunfighter complete with black hat. Yum! I doubt that either of those two would be the "handsomest man she'd ever seen" unless she had led a very secluded life. That's the line that made me think it might be Clark. Also, it was because they said he was a foundling babe, who always seemed to know where the gold was. Sounds like someone with x-ray vision to me.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Apr 2008
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 332 Likes: 1 |
It's a good start to what sounds like an interesting story.
"Who's asking? Clark... or Superman?"
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837 |
Howdy there Shayne: I think you got a right good piece of western writing there and otter continu' it. Maybe King Midas POV? Giddyup yur doggies and take 'em on home. Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
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Joined: Apr 2010
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,661 Likes: 10 |
Artemis is right.
Although King Midas is no doubt Clark, I still think it would be great to have Lex in the mix.
Adios!
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Joined: Sep 2013
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2013
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Really interesting--I'm definitely intrigued and would love to read more The style, the feel of the piece, is great! Originally Posted By: Virginia I doubt that either of those two would be the "handsomest man she'd ever seen" unless she had led a very secluded life. That's the line that made me think it might be Clark. Also, it was because they said he was a foundling babe, who always seemed to know where the gold was. Sounds like someone with x-ray vision to me. Echoing Virginia--the 'handsomest man she'd ever seen'... has to be Clark . Love AU stories...one set in New Orleans? Sounds awesome Great job Laura
Last edited by LMA; 02/07/15 02:46 AM.
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
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You must publish more. You must.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
It's been great to see your Muse so active again recently, Shayne. Any chance some of your recent stories might see their way to the Archive soon? We're running low on upload stock so they'd be most welcome. As always! LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly. Aramis: Yes, sorry. Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,947 Likes: 28 |
Hi Shayne! Every night it was the same, dreams of gun metal and leather, of the sounds of music playing across the prairie, of cows moving uneasily. Huh, Loisette? Metropolis was the entire world. Anything that didn’t fit there wasn’t worth worrying about. To be fair, I believe Nightfall wouldn’t have fit there, eiter. LOIS: So? And what good does worrying about an E.L.E.-type asteroid do? “You honestly can’t be planning to study for this trip,” Jenna said, glancing over at her. I just realized on the second read: Jenna as in Dan’s Jenna? Lois shrugged. “If the records had been available online I wouldn’t be going at all.” So this is contemporary, or at least, very late 90s? Taking Lucy to New Orleans was going to be a mistake; Lois knew it. If her sister ended up on the Internet, her mother would never let her hear the end of it. /googles Lucy Gone Wild/ “I’m not here to get drunk and take my clothes off in front of a group of frat boys,” Lois said irritably. /points at Southern Nights/ She certainly hadn’t done anything to warrant taking her out of Metropolis to get her out of the way of a stalker boyfriend. LEX: It felt a little like selling herself, but her father told her that a pretty face might make a man think a little less clearly. So, it really is like she’s selling herself? I wonder if she’d be offended if the client were to be more interested in the cattle after all. In Colorado he was known as King Midas; it was said that he’d never dug a mine that hadn’t struck gold. If you stopped at Midas, one would think Lex, but now his feat no longer sounds human. Legend had it that he’d been found in the wilderness by two prospectors as a baby, and that he’d been raised with a pickaxe in his hand. Yes. It must be Kara Zor-El’s older cousin. Of course, she’d heard all sort of wild stories about herself that weren’t remotely true, so why should that one be any different? Fasted gun in the west? Likes the ladies more than the gents? Knows how to saddle a bull? According to her father, he owned the whole block, and he wasn’t all that much older than she was herself. Yes. It’s got to be the cousin. She hoped her father didn’t have any hopes of young Midas falling for her. He undoubtedly was wealthy enough that he could have any women. MIDAS: …And if you put your daughter in to sweeten the deal, I’ll even up the offer by 15%. As she turned, it felt as though the breath had left her lungs.
He was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen. Oh no! It’s Call-Me-Daniel! Lois gasped as she woke. She was sweating, and somewhere along the line Lucy had taken the wheel. She’d cut off the air conditioning and rolled down the window, but it wasn’t nearly enough. So, sounds like she’s hot and bothered. than her last date.
Of course, that hadn’t exactly worked out so well. ? Despite herself, Lois couldn’t help but feel a growing sense of excitement. Although Metropolis was the center of the world, coming to New Orleans felt like she was coming home. I sure hope you will do something with this little gem! Michael
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
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What a pleasant surprise! First time back in months and here is a teaser from Shayne. Please, oh please continue! I love AUs and anything that hints at the Soul Mates connection has my undying devotion.
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Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 732 Likes: 1 |
Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Will there be a part 2? More please.
Shallowford
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Joined: Jan 2010
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2010
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Shayne, so.... did this ever get continued? Do you have more of this story that you're working on? Inquiring minds, you know.
CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx. JONATHAN: A jinx? CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me. -"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,661 Likes: 10
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,661 Likes: 10 |
In agreement with everyone here, will there ever be a continuation?
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,466
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,466 |
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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