It was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do, the most difficult thing he’d ever said to anyone. But if he didn’t say it now, he might never be able to say it.
She all but whispered, “Clark, I—”
Just blurt it out! he ordered himself.
“Lois, I have to go. I have to leave Metropolis. That’s what I really came here to tell you this morning.”
For a moment Clark thought he’d twisted her or shifted her wrong. Her face paled and she held her breath as he hesitated, then rushed on. “I – I know you don’t want to hear this but I have to tell you one last time. that I love you and I don’t want to go out with anyone else or date anyone else and I can’t take it being her so close to you without being able to talk to you or get you coffee or doughnuts or have breakfast with you or – I just can’t!”
She almost smiled. “And you tell me I babble.”
“You do.” He took a deep, shuddering breath and held it for a moment before letting it out slowly. “I can choose to stay here and continue hurting just from being around you or I can choose to accept that whatever we might have had will never be and leave. I choose to leave.”
She reached up and touched his cheek. “You don’t have to leave.”
“Yes I do!” As gently as he could, he shifted her back onto the couch until only her hand was touching his wrist. “It will be like I had an amputation. The pain will stop quickly and leave a shock of loss in place. But that will fade over time as long as I don’t see you every day or hear your voice or watch you smile. You’ll leave a hole in my heart when I go, Lois, but I’ll live, and I’ll learn to plaster over the hole somehow.”
She shook her head. “Even if you leave Metropolis, you could fly back as often as you wanted to. And I want you to.”
“Airfare is expensive.”
She turned her head slightly but still looked into his eyes. “Not for you.”
“What?”
He was genuinely confused. What was she talking about? Who flew without—
Oh.
She was saying—
Wait. She’d mentioned his ‘one big secret’ a minute ago.
She said he’d already known that she’d all but threatened Superman to get him to go along with her nutty plan, despite never having discussed it with him. With ‘Clark’ him.
She knew.
He sat back and covered his face with his hands. “How long have you known? And how did you figure it out?”
“About a month, I guess. And it wasn’t hard once I had time to put my mind to it.”
“Oh, good, it wasn’t hard.”
“Clark?” she whispered. “Please listen. You were never in the same place as Superman, you both decided to leave during that artificial heat wave, you’re both honest and upright and terribly worried about doing the right thing, the way Mazik went after you – Clark – using your parents to force you – Superman – to commit crimes for him, your horrible excuses to disappear, and all the time I’ve had to think about this, well – it all came together for me. I spent almost a week trying to prove myself wrong and I couldn’t.”
His flat answer took more effort than lifting a mountain. “I see.”
“Don’t worry, okay? The only reason I figured it out is because we’re around each other so much and because I know you so very well.”
“Yeah. That’s a comfort.”
“It was supposed to be. I doubt anyone else has any idea. Except Perry. Maybe.”
“Thanks. Really.” He lowered his hands and looked at her. “How mad are you?”
“At you? Almost not at all. At myself? Furious.”
That was interesting. And confusing.
“Would you expound upon both of those statements, preferably in the order that you made them? Just so I can keep everything straight.”
Instead of giving him back a barbed comment, she dropped her eyes to the floor. “I’m not mad at you. Why should I be? Ever since you got shot at Georgie Hairdo’s, I’ve been pushing you away any time you got closer than six feet.” Her face lifted to his. “But I’m still a little mad at you for letting me think you were dead. That was a pretty rotten thing to do.”
He sighed. “I know. And you’re right, it was. The truth is, though, that I didn’t realize how strongly you cared about me at the time. If I’d had any idea, I would’ve come to you later that night to ask for your help in bringing me back to life.” He turned on the couch to face her. “And that speech you gave me when you took me home that night after I pulled you out of the concrete really tore me up.”
She held his gaze for a long moment, then exhaled and deflated at the same time. “I know. It tore me up, too. And you had no reason to trust me with the secret after that. Before then you didn’t know how I felt, and before that, of course, I was mixed up with Lex, and you couldn’t risk it then, and before that all I was looking for was my next byline. You didn’t know how I’d react if I knew, if I’d print it or sell it or blackmail you with it. I might have seen that as my ticket to a Pulitzer, and even if I hadn’t published it, I might have accidentally leaked it to Lex or someone almost as bad, and that would’ve been a total disaster all around.”
He nodded. “That actually sounds more than fair, Lois. Thank you.”
She shrugged. “You’re welcome.”
He thought about taking her hand in his, but decided that there were still things which needed to be said and he didn’t want to distract either of them just yet. “Can you tell me why you’re mad at yourself?”
“Furious, Clark. Not just mad, but furious. Get it right.”
His mouth curled up on one side. “Okay. Why are you furious with yourself?”
She sighed again. “Because of the way I treated you. I threw so many women at you even after you told me you weren’t interested in anyone else. There were so many times I wanted to – to put my arms around you and tell you how I felt and that I was just too scared to admit that I loved you.” A single sniffle escaped, and she pulled herself together with a visible effort. “I wanted to be strong, to be independent, to be invulnerable to pain. But it just doesn’t work that way. I couldn’t let myself get away with it.”
He’d heard all that she’d said, but what popped out to him was something she’d dropped into the middle of that paragraph. “Lois – did you – did you just say that you loved me?”
She almost smiled. “Yeah. I guess I did.”
“Now – do you – is that present tense or past tense?”
She chuckled lightly. “Present tense, Clark. I love you. And that’s why you can’t leave Metropolis. I’d be abandoned, bereft, cancelled like a used stamp, devastated, empty, forsaken, gutted, halved like a worm in a sliced apple—”
“Please tell me you’re not going to go through the entire alphabet.”
They smiled together. “Wish I could, but I got stuck on ‘Q’ and ‘X.’” She reached out and captured his hands in hers. “Please don’t go. Please stay here with me. I want to make a life with you, Clark. Whatever time I have left, I want to spend it with you.”
That was good to know – wait, she said what? He felt his face pale and slacken. “What do you mean, whatever time you have left?”
“Ah. Another thing Perry didn’t share with you.” She leaned back but didn’t release his hands. “Doctor Richards told me that my liver might fail abruptly one day. I’m on the transplant list, but there’s something funky about my blood type or my cell structure or something that makes finding a donor liver a long shot at best. I might have five years left, I might have fifty years left. Of course, the longer I survive, the better the chances are that I’ll find a donor. Or that someone will figure out how to clone someone’s liver. Maybe Dr. Hamilton can work on that. And, maybe some doctor will find an effective treatment for me.”
Okay, this wasn’t good news, but it wasn’t the worst he could have heard. They could work with this. He relaxed and licked his lips.
She turned to face him and leaned closer. ”Did you know that you can donate half a liver and the half that’s left will grow back? And the half you donate – well, not you, obviously, but a non-Kryptonian person – the donated half will develop into a complete liver with full function? Assuming, of course, that the donor and recipient are compatible and the liver halves are healthy and the donor doesn’t have some other physical issue.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“It’s true. Of course, now that you know my big secret, maybe you – you wouldn’t want to risk a relationship with someone who’s liable to up and die on you any minute.”
What? No! He couldn’t let her think that. “Lois—”
“And I’m far more likely to have a shorter life than a longer one. You wouldn’t want to be a thirty-something widower, would you? Of course not. So – so maybe it’s a bad idea for you to stay because of me after all.”
“Lois, will you please—”
She pulled her hands back and turned away. “And I wouldn’t blame you a bit! I’m headstrong, stubborn, impulsive, high maintenance, and a really bad insurance risk, especially now that I probably won’t live out a normal life sp—”
The only way he could think of to shut her up was to kiss her.
So he turned her face toward him and did.
And it worked.
Her arms slid around his neck and she pressed her face against his.
And Clark loved it. This was better than flying. He wanted it to go on forever.
She finally inched away slowly, almost panting. “That – that wasn’t fair. I wasn’t finished ranting at you.”
“I know. But I wanted to say that I don’t care about your liver or what your doctor told you or what disadvantages you think you have. I love you and I want to make a life with you.”
“Make a life with me?”
“Yep. Me and you, together for always.”
“Hmm. You know, I think you’re plagiarizing me. I’ve already used that phrase in a sentence.”
He touched his lips to hers and pulled back slightly. “I’m not plagiarizing, I’m reinforcing and agreeing.”
“Oh. Well, then I don’t mind so much.”
She pulled him back into a kiss, but released him after a few seconds. “Clark? What’s wrong?”
He gestured helplessly. “I want to put my arms around you but I also don’t want to hurt you.”
She smiled. “Thank you. How about I arrange myself on your lap? Then you can put your arms of steel around me and we’ll kiss and go on from there.”
He grinned. “Sounds like a plan to me.”
She did. And he did. And he held her as close to him as he could.
*****
A long time later, as Lois drowsed on the couch in Clark’s arms, a thought came to her and she knew she had to share it. “Clark?”
“Yes, Lois?”
“Does it – no, sorry, wrong question. How much does it matter that I – that you’ll probably live longer than I will?”
She felt his arms tighten protectively. “It matters. But it just means that I – that we don’t have any time to waste.”
“But – I don’t want to leave you alone. And I don’t want to miss out on all the years we might have had together.”
He shook his head and kissed the tip of her nose. “It isn’t the years that are most important, Lois. It’s the moments. As long as we have lots and lots of wonderful moments together, it’ll be enough for me.”
Her hand caressed his face. “Are you sure? Because I don’t want you to think that I’d abandon you.”
He turned his head and kissed her palm. “I’d never think that because I know it could never be true. You wouldn’t stop loving me no matter what. And I’ll never stop loving you no matter what. Besides, even though I’m Superman, that doesn’t mean that I’ll live forever. It may not be likely to happen, but it’s possible that I’ll die before you do.”
The thought shocked her. “Wow. I – have to admit that I never even considered that outcome.” She nestled her head against his shoulder. “I guess I’m still pretty self-centered, huh?”
“No. You’re just considering the most likely scenario. And there’s a third possibility, too.”
“What’s that?”
“We could go out together.”
“Very romantic and more than a little bit dark, but also very unlikely.”
“True. But it’s still possible. And we’d avoid all this angst that we’re dreading right now.”
She chuckled deep in her chest, ignoring the small, sharp twinges in her belly. “You always look on the bright side, don’t you?”
He brushed her bangs away from her forehead. “I just wish I could do something more. I wish I could donate part of my liver to you.”
“I know.” She tried to put all of her love into her smile. “But our vital organs aren’t compatible.”
His eyes focused on hers. “How do you know that? Maybe Earth-humans and Krypton-humans are close enough to exchange body parts.”
She shook her head. “Won’t work. I already asked Bernie Klein about it.”
He went still and licked his lips. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Why would you ask him that question? And why is he consulting on your case?”
“It’s simple, really. Doctor Richards sent for him when I asked if Superman could donate a partial liver. I told him Bernie it was the least that Superman could do, especially since I got hurt saving his life.”
Clark’s head lifted for a moment, then he shrugged and smiled. “I guess that’s true. But what did he say?”
“That quite aside from the problem of how to remove part of your liver without using Kryptonite, your liver functions just a little different from mine. You get a lot of your nourishment from solar energy, and your liver processes the waste products from that function. Bernie has no idea what that tissue might try to do in an Earth-human, but he said he couldn’t think of any way that it would be a good thing. And Doctor Richards agreed with him.”
Clark’s face fell and he whispered, “I’m so sorry. You know I’d do whatever I had to do if they thought it would work.”
“I know, darling. I know. We’ll just have to deal with it, that’s all.”
She stroked his smooth cheek and he almost smiled. “That’s the first time you’ve called me that.”
“Do you like it?”
“Very much.” He bent to kiss her again as her arms snaked around his neck.
After a time just long enough for Lois to have to take a breath, she said, “You know, we’re going to need a family doctor. I think Burt and Bernie would fill that role quite well.”
He frowned in apparent thought for a few seconds, then nodded. “I agree. When do you want to tell them?”
“Soon enough for them to get your blood test for the marriage license.”
He chuckled and gently held her close. “That’s a good idea. How about tomorrow?”
She laughed with him. “If that’s what you really want, then the answer is ‘yes.’ I’m through with waiting for love to fall out of the sky for me, Clark. I love you and I want to be your wife as long as we both shall live.”
“Well, today is Saturday, so how about first thing Monday morning? Contrary to the Mamas and Papas, I think we can trust that day.”
She reached up again and ran her fingers through his hair. “I don’t care about the day. I know I can trust you.”
Their lips came together once again, and she thought about the newspapers he’d brought for her to autograph.
Then she forgot them again for quite a while.
*****
Clark stared into the mirror and fussed with the bow tie on his tux until his father gently took his wrist and lowered his hand. “It’s fine like it is, Son. Besides, the only person who’s going to be looking at you is Lois.”
Clark smiled nervously. “I know. I just want to look the best I can for her.”
Sam Lane patted Clark awkwardly on the shoulder. “You already do, young man. You know, I don’t think Ellen ever looked at me like my little girl looks at you.” Sam sighed and looked at the door of the groom’s room, then back at Clark. “And I haven’t supported the two of you like I should have – but – Clark, you’re the finest man of your generation I’ve ever met. You’ll be a wonderful husband for Lois.”
Jimmy brushed some invisible fuzz from Clark’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, CK, this is the easy part. At least, that’s what they tell me.”
The two older men looked at each other and chuckled. “Young Olsen is right,” Sam added. “The wedding is about twenty to forty minutes of sheer terror that you’re going to say or do the wrong thing and embarrass yourself and your bride.”
“Which you won’t,” grinned Jonathan.
“Your dad’s right, young man. The honeymoon is a time of wonder and bliss and learning about each other. And I don’t mean just sex, either. One of you is going to want the covers a certain way that the other one hates, one of you will squeeze the toothpaste from the wrong part of the tube, one of you will be a morning person and wake up smiling at a growling bear, and that’s when you start figuring out that marriage is a lot of work.” Sam dropped his smile. “I didn’t have the courage to face all that hard work, Clark. But I think you do.”
“Of course he does! He’s a Kent. And he has my Martha’s Clark family heritage on his side, too.”
Sam’s eyes flickered and his lips moved as if he’d thought about mentioning Clark being adopted but decided not to.
“Hey, guys, everything will be just fine!” Jimmy insisted. “I may be the youngest guy here, but I’ve never seen two people who love each other like CK and Lois do.” He gave Clark a soft punch on the outside of his shoulder. “Even if they had to have it hammered into their heads. I tell you what, guys, I’ve never seen two more stubborn people, either.”
Jonathan looked at Sam and said, “Jimmy has a point, Sam. Which one of them do you think is more stubborn?”
Sam leaned back and rubbed his chin with his hand. “Well, I can’t say for certain. Lois is certainly more vocal, and she sends up bright red signal flares when she’s about to argue, but when Clark sets his feet and leans into an idea, you can’t move him with a bulldozer. Their styles are different, but which is more stubborn? I’d have to say it’s pretty much a dead heat.”
Jonathan chuckled again. “I think I agree with you. Hey, do I hear ‘Together Forever’ on the organ?”
Clark felt himself go pale again. “Yes. That’s the seating of the special guests. Perry and Alice, Pete and Lana, Rachel, Cat and her date of the week, Bobby Bigmouth, and some others I can’t remember right now.”
The other three laughed and covered their mouths. When Jimmy got himself under control again, he asked, “So, would Lois mind if I asked the maid of honor out on a date?”
Sam lifted his eyebrows at Jimmy. “Let me recover from this wedding first, okay, Olsen? No, I take that back. I’ll give you real cash money if you and Lucy elope. It’ll be cheaper.”
It was Jimmy’s turn to blush as Clark and Jonathan chuckled. “Hey, how about we get Lucy’s sister married off first? And then let her decide if she even wants to date me? I haven’t even asked her out yet!”
“Well, if you do marry my younger daughter, young man, I want you to use the same sign.”
Jimmy frowned in confusion. “Huh? What sign?”
Clark pointed in the general direction of the church sanctuary. “It’s mounted on a microphone stand at the back of the auditorium. Lois found a sign that says, ‘This is the joining of two families into one. We ask you to take a seat, not a side, and celebrate this joyous occasion with us.’ I thought it was appropriate.”
After a long moment, Sam and Jonathan each put a hand on one of Clark’s shoulders. “It is completely appropriate, Clark,” said Sam. “And I thank all of you for allowing me to participate in this joy.”
Clark reached up and crossed his arms to grab each older man’s hand. “Lois and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
*****
Lois sat on the stool in the bride’s room, wearing her wedding gown and a frozen smile. Without moving her lips, she said, “Are you done yet, Non?”
“Non?” muttered Ellen. “Who’s Non?”
“That’s you, Mother,” Lucy purred. “Lois can’t pronounce ‘m’ with her lips jacked apart like that. Now, if you are finally finished with Lois’ face, it sounds like we have about three or four minutes to go before we parade in and knock all the men’s socks off.”
Ellen moved back from her older daughter’s face and sighed. “That’s the best I can do.”
Lois rolled her eyes. “Gee, Non, thanks a bunch. What a confidence builder you are.” She turned to Lucy. “And you? I thought the bride was supposed to knock their socks off.”
“No, that’s the bridal party’s job. You, big Sis, are going to walk in in Daddy’s arm like you own the whole place and knock Clark’s eyes right out of his head. And that’s what counts.”
Martha carefully hugged Lois around the shoulders. “Lucy’s right, dear. You are probably the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.”
Ellen smiled. “I’ve seen your wedding pictures, Martha. You were quite stunning.”
Martha beamed. “Thank you, Ellen. I think any bride’s beauty depends on the man she’s marrying. And you looked pretty good in your pictures too, you know.”
Ellen blushed slightly. “Thank you, Martha. I know you’re sincere. From almost anyone else, I’d know it was flattery, but you’re probably the most honest and straightforward woman I know.” She reached out and took Martha’s hand. “I’m so pleased that your son is marrying my daughter. Now maybe she won’t get shot at quite so often.”
“At least not until after the honeymoon,” Lucy cackled.
Lois’ face softened and turned dreamy. “Yes, the honeymoon. I’m really looking forward to that.”
“Of course she is, Non,” giggled Lucy. “She’s got the galley proofs for her first Wanda Detroit novel to work on and she’ll have plenty of free time for it.”
Ellen sighed. “You two are not going to call me ‘Non’ from now on, are you?”
“No, Non,” Lois answered, “just today.”
“Lois, dear, how large is the first printing?”
“Oh, Martha, I don’t want to talk about that now!” Then she grinned sideways. “Although Brad, my agent, thinks the first seventy thousand copies should fly off the shelves. That’s a healthy number for a debut mystery series. We’re getting some really good pre-release buzz, and Brad expects at least two more printings at that volume.”
“I doubt if that’s the kind of buzz Clark is hoping for, Sis.”
“Lucy Lane! That’s my son you’re making lewd comments about!”
“Don’t worry, Martha. See the dress? See the color? I earned this white with my persistent acceptance of Clark’s refusals to let me seduce him.”
Martha snorted a laugh, but Ellen put her hands on her hips and frowned at her older daughter. “Young lady, if you were still living at home, I’d take you over my knee and spank you for that remark.”
“Careful, Non, that’s going to be her husband’s privilege from now on.”
The room suddenly went silent as the other three women stared at Lucy. “Hey,” she stuttered, “I – I’m sorry. I – shouldn’t have said that.”
Lois stood and embraced her sister. “Oh, Lucy! Please don’t forget that any man who puts his hands on a woman with anything but tenderness is not a man you want to be around.” She pushed Lucy back and looked gently into her eyes. “Clark will never hurt me. I have every confidence in him. He may do something stupid or just make a mistake and hurt my heart, but he will never, never ever touch me because he wants to hurt me. I trust him with my life.” Lois’ voice dropped in volume. “You understand?”
Lois saw comprehension wash over Lucy’s face as the younger girl nodded. “Yes. I understand. And I never – not ever! – thought that Clark would do anything to hurt you. I trust him as much as you do.”
Lois smiled. “Good. Now I need something to take my mind off waiting. Tell me about your latest job, Punky.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Lois saw her mother roll her eyes, but Lucy either missed it or ignored it. “I’m working with a re-imagining of the play ‘Twelve Angry Men.’ The new title is ‘Twelve Angry People’ and I get the part Jack Klugman had in the Henry Fonda movie. There are seven men and five women in the jury, and I get to demonstrate the proper knife-fighting technique to the rest of them. We’re due to take it to Cleveland for a full dress presentation in two weeks, and if the audience and critics like it as much as everyone in the play does, we may bring it to Metropolis.”
“That’s wonderful, Punky! You make sure that Clark and I get some tickets for one of your performances, okay?”
Lucy shrugged. “If we get this far, sure, no problem.”
A soft knock on the door forestalled any further discussion. A smiling older lady cracked the door open and leaned in. “Wedding planner butting in! One minute to go, ladies. Everyone ready?”
“Ready, Mrs. Dalton,” answered Martha.
Mrs. Dalton stepped partway into the room. “You know, I can’t recall a wedding where both the bride’s and groom’s parents were part of the wedding party, but I think it’s a perfectly lovely idea! I’m going to suggest it to all the couples I work with from now on.” She turned and began to leave, then stopped. “Assuming, of course, that they get along as wonderfully as all of you folks do.”
The door closed behind her and Lois took a deep breath. “Well, it’s time.”
Lucy leaned in and muttered, “If you want to lam out of here, I’ve got a getaway car warmed up in the alley. We’ll go rob a bank, then drive straight through to the Grand Canyon and park right above a high cliff and let the cops arrest us.”
Lois shook her head. “Only my baby sister could come up with a Thelma and Louise getaway plan at this stage of the game.”
Martha looked at Ellen, waved one hand in Lucy’s general direction, and said, “Incorrigible, isn’t she?”
Ellen sighed deeply. “Always has been. At least we’re marrying the other one off to a good man.”
