Illusions of Grandeur - Matchmaker Style
Rated PG-13
* * denotes emphasis
< > denotes thoughts
As always comments are welcome. (ken.janney@kjanney.com)
Previously:
Their conversation was interrupted by the oooohs and aaaahs of the audience at the conclusion of the illusion that was being performed. Their attention was drawn to the stage where they actually saw Darren Romick for the first time. He was tall, somewhat overweight and wore his hair somewhat longer than current style dictated. He was in a tuxedo and had a ‘stage presence’ that couldn’t be denied. The audience was obviously enthralled by his performance.
He bowed to the audience and as he straightened again, held out his hand to the side of the stage and said, “Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. And now, for my final illusion I shall be calling, once again, on assistance from the lovely Constance.”
A beautiful blond wearing little more than a bathing suit as far as how much skin was covered came sparkling onto the stage. Sparkling because her costume was covered in spangles and she also had some ostrich plumes strategically placed to enhance the costume. Black fishnet stockings and the stiletto heels completed the ensemble.
Lois nudged Clark and said, “Eyes here buster. I know you have a weakness for blonds.”
He smiled and replied, “Ah, but my fatal weakness is for a certain brunette.”
While they had been talking, Romick had continued his announcement, “I'm going to need some help from the audience on this one, too. Feel free to call out as we go along. Now first, we're going to need an object from right here in this room. Anyone?”
In response there was a chorus of voices shouting the names of objects. After a few seconds of this Romick called a halt and said, “I heard table.” He pointed at a nearby table and said, “How about that one right there?” He stepped down from the stage, picked up the light from the center of the table and tossed it to Clark who caught it neatly. Then picking up the indicated table, lifted it, drinks and all onto the stage, surprising the patrons that had been sitting there.
Over his shoulder to the guests he asked, “You don’t mind, do you? In fact, why don’t the two of you just bring your chairs and sit right up here on the stage.” He turned to Constance and said, “Constance? Help the lovely couple, would you?”
Picking up their chairs the couple followed Constance onto the stage.
Once they were settled, Romick announced, “Next I need a dead animal.”
Again there were shouts from the audience. Romick listened, apparently until he heard what he wanted to hear and then said, “Did I hear … rat?”
The audience displayed their displeasure at this by booing.
Romick again stepped down off of the stage and into the audience and started looking around. As he searched he continued his patter, “We must have a special telepathy tonight folks because I believe there's one in here somewhere. Could you all just check under your tables please? Oh! Okay, here's one. It's not a rat but it's close.”
To everyone’s surprise he lifted up a mink stole from a woman in the audience. He looked at it and back to the owner and asked, “Mink, right? You don’t mind if I borrow this for a few minutes, do you?” At her nod of agreement he said, “Great.”
As if there was a never ending supply of props backstage, Constance went into the wings and returned with a coat rack. Romick handed the mink to her and she placed it on the coat rack. He turned back to the owner and asked, “Real fur?”
The owner nodded in agreement and Romick shook his head and said, “You know, some people can get really militant about that. I hear they splatter paint all over these things.” Turning back to the owner he asked, “You're not worried are you? I mean, it's only a trick, right? Boy, are you naive. Next, I need a *live* animal. Okay, a live animal that you'd like to see at a zoo or on a farm.”
Again, Romick cupped his hand over his ear and listened as the names of animals were shouted out. There were calls of kangaroo, hippopotamus, giant panda as well as others. Romick allowed the shouts to continue until he heard what he wanted to hear. Finally he called a halt and said, “Giant Panda, too easy. Oh, oh, did I hear cow? Now you're challenging me. Constance, any chance of a Guernsey?”
Disappearing into the wings briefly, Constance quickly reappeared with a cow on a tether.
Seeing this Romick continued his patter, “What do you know?! Telepathy folks. Now, clearly I have no control over these items. There has been no prearrangement and surely no trap door can possibly accommodate all of them at once, so what I'm about to do is ... truly impossible. Unless, of course, you believe in magic. Okay, we have a table and a lovely couple, a mink, cousin of the rat, stole and Sarah the cow.”
Returning to the stage, Romick put his hand on her flank ad addressed the cow, “Sarah, did you bring enough cud for us?” The cow mooed in reply. Turning back to the audience he said, “Okay, I could not possibly have known what these objects were going to be.”
As Romick continued speaking a giant four-sided curtain emblazoned with moons and stars was lowered from the overhead and he guided it down so that all were enclosed in it. He said, “Now, what I am about to do is completely and utterly impossible. Unless of course you believe … in … magic. All it takes is a little imagination.”
As they were doing this, Lois nudged Clark and said, “Clark, look at that curtain. Isn't that what Christopher described to us?”
Nodding, Clark agreed, “Sure looks like it.”
Romick was continuing his patter, “Now, I need to kill some time so I think I’ll have a cup of Joe.”
Constance, ever ready with the props handed him a cup.
He looked at it and said in a disappointed tone, “Black. I really …” He said, “Hey, hey, hey, Sarah …” He reached in through a flap and said, “Give it up now, give it up.” When he pulled the cup out he took a sip and apparently savored his beverage. He held the cup up and as he inverted it he shouted, “Gone!”
As he did there were three flashes and pillars of smoke. The curtain disappeared along with the couple at the table, the mink and the cow.
“And that, my friends, is the mystery of the magic box.” Romick started taking his bows.
As he did, Lois said to Clark, “Well, you were right about one thing.”
Clark was amazed and it took him a second to respond, “What’s that?”
With a smirk, Lois said, “We’ve got a lead.”
And Now
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 4
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The next morning, Lois and Clark returned to the Moskal residence to follow-up. To their surprise, Mr. Moskal answered the door himself.
Clark asked if he could speak with Christopher.
Mr. Moskal answered, “I’ve sent him away, for safekeeping. If the kidnapper finds out he's made a mistake I don't want Christopher in danger.”
Lois addressed him, “We can understand that, Mr. Moskal, but we need to know more about that box he saw. It's very important to the investigation.”
Mr. Moskal was adamant, “I thought I made myself clear. There is to be no investigation either by the police or the Daily Planet.”
Clark saw Rose as she approached. Mr. Moskal heard her and said, in a questioning manner, “Rose?”
Rose replied, “Telephone, Mr. Moskal.”
“Oh, all right. Thank you. Please show them out.” He turned on his heel and left.
Rose waited until he was out of earshot before speaking, “He's meeting the kidnapper with the money tonight. Everything's going to be okay.”
Clark, thinking about how Superman could insure that outcome said, “I’m sure it will be.” Turning away, Lois and Clark left.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
While Lois and Clark had been at the Moskal residence, Jimmy had been perusing the wire service output again. He was reading as a news story was being printed, “Herbert Ralston, owner of the four-star Fitz-Ralston Hotel chain has announced he will convert all his facilities into shelters for the homeless. Something weird is going on. All these famous people doing crazy things.”
Cat had been looking over his shoulder while he was reading. Cat was dressed in an all black outfit this morning complete with beret. The high necked jacket was buttoned all the way to the top.
Jimmy tore the story off the printer as he finished reading and Cat grabbed it from his hand as he turned, “Sounds like good gossip to me.” She started for her desk with Jimmy close behind. Jimmy asked, “Another date with Chow? This is getting pretty serious.”
Cat had her fingers at the collar of her jacket like she was trying to stretch the material as one tries to loosen a noose around their neck in order to breathe. “Seriously stifling.” Suddenly, Cat gave a yank and the seams of the outfit seemed to rip apart with the sound of Velcro releasing. Underneath was one of Cat’s more Cat-like dresses, loud in color, short in length, backless and form fitting. Once she had thrown the black suit aside she leaned back in a victory position and said, “Yes!” She ripped off the beret and flipped her hair into her more normal do.
As she finished her transformation, Lois and Clark walked in from their visit with the Moskals. Lois was startled and addressing Cat inquired, “What happened to the ‘new’ you?”
Cat gave Lois a look and said, “The ‘old’ me wanted out for a while. I don’t know how you … regular girls do it. Those clothes are like … straightjackets.” Cat was leaning on her desk with one hand and with her hip thrust out had her free hand on that hip and was facing Lois.
Looking beyond Cat, Lois, careful not to betray herself by keeping a straight face asked, “What’s Arthur Chow doing here?”
In a panic and so fast that you would think that Cat possessed superspeed she spun and dropped behind a separator. Slowly she peeked over the separator and asked, “Where? Did he see me?”
Lois and Jimmy were both smiling as Lois smirked, “That was almost
too easy,” and started laughing as she moved the rest of the way to her desk.
As she did, Cat followed her, “That was low. Even for you.” She sauntered off as Clark walked up.
“Two o'clock, Magic Club. Darren Romick won’t there but his assistant said she'd be glad to talk to us.”
Sarcastically, Lois replied, “Somehow I don't think the Great Romick is going to be greatly cooperative.”
Jimmy was eager to follow up on his earlier success during the Nightfall incident and said, “Let me come, too. Maybe I could write a side bar on your story.”
Lois was actually happy to help Jimmy further his career, but felt that there would be a stumbling block. She said, “It'd be okay with us, Jimmy, but I don't think Perry'll go for it.”
With a smirk, Jimmy said, “I believe I have that covered.”
Perry happened to be walking by just then and Jimmy addressed him, “Mr. White! I've got an idea.” He rushed to get in front of Perry.
Perry stopped and asked, “What is it now, Olsen?”
“Why don't I help Clark and Lois on this kidnapping story? I could bring my camera and even maybe write a sidebar.”
Perry looked down. The expression on his face did not bode well for Jimmy’s proposal.
Jimmy asked, “Whadda ya say,
Chief?” He placed a lot of emphasis on the word, Chief.
Perry’s head snapped up. His hand came up and he double pointed his fingers at Jimmy and said, “That's brilliant, Olsen.”
After he said it, Perry had a bewildered expression on his face. He couldn’t understand where that had come from. He walked off shaking his head.
Lois and Clark looked at each other with surprised expressions as Jimmy beamed with pleasure.
Turning to Lois and Clark Jimmy said, “What did I tell you? I think things are finally going to be a little different around here.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Lois, Clark and Jimmy arrived at the magic club and found Constance. This time rather than a swim suit with spangles she was dressed in a knee length black skirt and a white blouse. She started giving them a tour. They went into the main room and while Lois and Clark examined the giant magic box, which was actually a curtain she started telling the history. “This place was built over forty years ago. A group of magicians wanted a club for themselves. My father was a charter member. It was a very secret society. Even now it is only open to members and their guests.”
Clark ceased his examination of the curtain and the stage and approached Constance. “We're here because of the kidnappings. One of the intended victims said something about a magic box. When we saw your trick last night, it made us think a magician may be involved. The description of the box was much like this curtain.”
Swinging her head around, as if looking at the members said, “Someone from here?”
Lois responded, “We're not sure yet.” Lois’s tone became more eager as she continued, “So, this box thing, tell us how it works.”
Constance tempered her reply, “Well, it’s a combination of distraction …”
She was interrupted by another voice, “… and genius.” Dr. Novak moved onto the stage. He approached Lois and continued, “Darren Romick is the greatest that ever lived, and I don't think he'd appreciate having his secrets revealed. Wouldn't you agree, Constance?”
Abashed, Constance replied, “Yes, Doctor.” She turned as if being dismissed and walked off.
As soon as Jimmy saw Dr. Novak he moved over and tried to disappear, himself, pretending to examine the curtain.
Dr. Novak still recognized Jimmy and asked, “Well, how is our little experiment going?”
Jimmy was uncomfortable with the question and said simply, “Uh, fine. Just fine.”
Lois’s curiosity was aroused by this and asked, “What experiment?”
Now Jimmy was profoundly embarrassed that his secret was about to be revealed, “It’s nothing.”
Doctor Novak replied to Lois’s question, “Just a small post-hypnotic suggestion we gave to this young man's boss.”
Clark and Lois were both aghast, Clark blurted out, “You hypnotized Perry?”
Jimmy brightened up and said, “It worked, didn't it? Every time I say the word 'Chief,' the Chief tells me I'm brilliant.”
Lois looked at Jimmy and said, “Jimmy, that’s terrible.” She thought about it for a second and then asked, “Will it work if I say it?”
Clark gave Lois a look as if to say, ‘Lois, why would you even ask such a thing?’
Dr. Novak chuckled and said, “The post-hypnotic suggestion was very precise. Only Jimmy’s voice will trigger the response.”
Clark said, “So Perry doesn’t …”
Jimmy interrupted and said, “… have to know.”
Romick suddenly entered through a side door. As he approached he said, “Visitors aren’t welcome until after six o’clock. “
Clark replied, “We’re from the Daily Planet.”
Romick was sarcastic as he replied, “How nice for you.”
Lois replied, “We think your box trick is linked to a series of kidnappings.”
Romick apparently felt insulted, he almost shouted, “Trick?!? Dogs do tricks. I do illusions! Would you like to see one?”
Lois said, “Uh, no, I …”
Romick interrupted her, “You’re a reporter, right? You should be really good at observation.” Pulling out a deck of cards he started to fan them out. He continued speaking as he did and Lois strolled over closer, “Maybe I can trip you up a little bit. This deck of cards here, when you see a black card say, coal. When you see a red card say, fire. Okay, keep your wits about you now.”
Holding up the deck so that she could see the bottom card he tapped it and said, “Okay, what is it?”
Lois deciding to play along saw a nine of clubs and said, “Coal.”
Romick said, “Ooo. A natural.”
He changed the card, this time it was the eight of spades and Lois said, “Coal.”
“Oh, very good.”
He changed the card again. This time it was the ace of clubs and Lois said, “Coal.”
Lois didn’t notice it, but this time as he changed the card he pinched the deck between his fingers, putting tension on them to straighten out. She saw the king of diamonds.
She said, “Fire,” and when she did he changed his grip on the deck and it came squirting out in a stream, right into her face. At the impact she shied away and shouted, Oh!”
As this was happening, there was a flash and a puff of smoke and Romick and Dr. Novak both disappeared.
Lois, Clark and Jimmy all looked around in bewilderment.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Since there was no longer anyone to talk to at the Magic Club, Lois, Clark and Jimmy headed back to the Planet arriving after most of the day staff had already left.
As they were walking in, Perry spotted them and inquired, “So, what’ve you got?”
Throwing down her bag, Lois said, “Only a theory,” in a disgusted tone.
The delay in their return to the Planet was explained as Clark told Perry what they had been doing, “After we left the Magic Club I called the box trick manufacturer. There were only two made with that specific moon and stars design and they both belong to Darren Romick.”
Lois floated her proposal, “I think we've got enough for a preliminary article. What do you think ...” She decided to test her theory, hope actually, that the programming that had been done on Perry would also apply to her, “*Chief*?”
Realizing immediately what Lois was doing, Clark started watching Perry closely, just as Lois was doing to see what reaction this would have.
Lois was disappointed when there was no reaction, other than a normal Parry reaction, “Absolutely not! All you've got is speculation and you both know it.” He turned away, shaking his head and moved toward his office.
Resignedly, Lois muttered, “Well, so much for that.”
Before Perry had a chance to make it to his office, Jimmy intercepted him and handed him a photograph, saying, “Look at this.”
Perry looked at it and as if stating the obvious, said, “It’s the Pope. So what?”
Pointing at the background, Jimmy said, “Yeah. At a *Madonna* concert. Famous people are acting really strange lately. I think there' s a story here. Whaddya say I write it, *Chief*?”
Just like the last time, Perry’s hand came up, he double pointed at Jimmy and said, “That’s brilliant, Olsen.” Also, just as last time, Perry was perplexed by this behavior. He couldn’t understand why he was doing that and as he puzzled over the problem turned and finished his trip to the office.
Jimmy watched as Perry closed his door and then turning to Lois and Clark, rubbed his hands together and said, “Putty in my hands.”
Clark challenged, “Jimmy, don't you think what you're doing is a little ... unethical?”
Jimmy smiled and replied, “Hey, it's not like I'm asking him to send me to Tahiti or anything. This is strictly business. Although, a weekend in Florida would be nice ...”
Lois challenged, “Jimmy …”
Coming back to reality, Jimmy said, “Forget I mentioned it.”
Lois looked at her watch and realized that it had been some time since lunch. She asked, “So, who’s hungry? We’ve only got about two hours.”
Jimmy was curious, “Until what?”
Lois enlightened Jimmy, “Moskal meets the kidnapper at midnight. Clark and I plan to be there.”
Clark was planning to be there all right, but as Superman. He couldn’t believe that Lois was inviting Jimmy to go along. In an attempt to discourage this he said, “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
Lois was mystified, “Why not?”
Clark couldn’t believe that Lois was being so single minded on this and not picking up on his need to be there as Superman. He said, “It’s dangerous for one thing.”
Lois countered, “When has that ever stopped us?”
Clark wracked his brain for another deterrent, “I don't think we should get in the way. The best thing to do is wait it out and talk to Moskal afterwards.”
Lois finally appeared to be picking up on his hints as she said, “You know, you’re right,” but he was still surprised.
He blurted out, “I am?”
Lois answered, “Yes. We should be adult about this. There's no reason to get in the middle of it. We'll write the story when Rose's son is safely returned home.”
“I’m proud of you, Lois.”
“Thank you, Clark. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry. Why don’t you go get us some take out?” She moved over and gave him a hug. While hugging him she whispered, “Use this excuse to be there as Superman. I’m going to bring Jimmy and we are simply going to watch.”
Smiling he donned his coat and headed out.
Once he was out the door, Lois said to Jimmy, “Grab your camera. We’re going to be at that meeting.”
Jimmy asked, “What about Clark?”
“He’ll get over it. We can eat when we get back.”
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