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Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found HereIn case you missed it, here's deleted Lois's version of end of the Daily Planet scene. (It'll probably show up in the Archive version.) “EPRAD,” Clark murmured against the top of her head.
Lois had been enjoying the feel of Clark’s chest against her ear; she hadn’t realized he had spoken. “Hmmm.”
“The assistant to the director of EPRAD called me this morning,” he repeated, pulling back enough to lean up against the wall and look Lois in the face. “They wanted to thank me for all the work that we put into clearing Professor Daitch, EPRAD, and Superman’s names from blame for the Nightfall scandal. I told them they should really be calling you.”
“You helped,” she admitted. “You never gave up on that story.” Although she realized he really couldn’t abandon it with LNN skewering Superman’s reputation on a daily basis.
“You got the ball rolling,” Clark said. “You knew that something was wrong and you followed that hunch to discover what. Anyway, the director of EPRAD offered… you an exclusive interview.”
“You mean he offered it to you,” she corrected with some bitterness.
“Yes, initially,” he said. “But I told him that you deserved it more than me. Besides, I’ll be in Las Vegas with Jimmy.”
Lois crossed her arms and stared at him. “You’re still going?”
“Jimmy’s been offered two days and nights at a hotel on the Strip in exchange for an interview about being Lex Luthor’s scapegoat for the Daily Planet bombing. It includes airfare for two. He grabbed it. I’m sure you would too after two months in jail for a crime you didn’t commit.”
She shrugged.
“He was going to take Jimbo, but after they saw me and heard about me being…” Clark coughed. “— beaten up and mugged, they both decided that I should go in Jimbo’s place. You want me back out?”
“You said ‘yes’ without consulting me,” Lois stated.
The muscle in his jaw twitched. “I didn’t realize I needed your permission,” he returned.
Lois took a breath to calm her racing heart from that backhanded slap across her face. “I thought we were a couple,” she said softly. “I thought we’d finally have time for us. I thought we would make these kinds of decisions together.”
“Lois, we are a couple, but I can’t run every decision I make past you. If this investigation wasn’t over, if we had gone ahead with our escape plan for you, we still wouldn’t be together for several days,” he reminded her. “All I’m going to do is spend two days sitting by the pool soaking up as much sunshine as possible, and then I’m coming home. Two days!” Clark flung out his hand in exasperation. “I can get that better out in Las Vegas than I can from my patio, here, in Metropolis.” He lowered his voice. “You know how important sunshine is to my healing.”
“Yes, but…”
“This is about me recovering faster,” he said. “This isn’t about us.”
“By not including me in the decision making process, or even considering whether I might want to come with you or would want you here with me, you made it about us,” she replied. He had made it about them because he hadn’t thought of her at all.
Clark briefly closed his eyes and exhaled a deep breath. “You’re right, Lois. I’m sorry. Do you want to come to Las Vegas with us?”
With us?
“No,” Lois said, straightening her shoulders. She didn’t want to be invited like this. He should want to take her on a trip, not be forced to do so. Was it too much to ask for to want her boyfriend to automatically think of her when contemplating an impromptu trip to Las Vegas? “You weren’t wrong when you said I have things to clean up here in Metropolis.” She relaxed her stance enough to place a hand on his chest and felt the slight tension her touch brought him. Something had changed him. She only wished she knew what. It couldn’t have just been the exposure to Kryptonite. He had lived through that before. “Possibly you’re right, Clark. Maybe we do need some time apart to think about what we really do want.”
Perhaps some time apart would remind him why he didn’t want to be away from her.
He placed his hand over hers. “I want you, Lois. That will never change.”
Lois closed her eyes and leaned her head against his chest, wishing she could believe him. He was saying most everything she wanted to hear, saying all the right words about loving her, but something in his tone rang hollow, as if he were trying to convince himself that she was really what he wanted.
She missed him already as if he were already gone.
“I love you,” she whispered, so softly she didn’t know if he could hear her without his extra sharp hearing.
“I really do like this haircut, Lois,” Clark said, and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll call you tonight, and give you the number of the hotel. I promise you, when I get back, we’ll have that talk.”
Lois wouldn’t be holding her breath. Promises weren’t to be believed until followed through upon. She had learned enough from men to know that. She had hoped that Clark would be different. It turned out he was an All American Male after all. Has Clark redeemed himself or is he still in the running for Lunkhead of the Year? Was Lois right or was she less than right to be angry with him? Inquiring minds want to know. Let me know what you think. Just a reminder, this is still the day after the wedding / Lex's suicide.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Lois is way over reacting, did she ask for Clark's permission to fake her relationship with Lex?
Will Clark eventually stop being such a whinny b^^^^ (I don't remember Clark being this whinny even on the show) and stop only thinking about Lois' feelings? What about his feelings and wants?
Has the relationship between Clark and Lois been reduced to Clark being Lois' obedient dog (I keep thinking about the Looney Tunes Cartoon "Spike and Chester")?
Is Clark not allowed to have any dignity anymore or is it all wrapped up in his "I must love Lois" mantra? Is that the only type of feelings he is allowed to have? If so, that makes for a very boring and one dimensional character.
Clark just went through something very traumatic and does not want to tell Lois about it because he wants to protect her. To me that is a bunch of BS and a good example of what I have mentioned above.
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Clark had just been about to say that he that he would love to go to Vegas, but that he couldn’t due to Lois, that Lois needed him, but he was having a difficult time picking his words. He didn’t want to sound as if he was Lois’s whipping boy. He perceived that Jimmy had noticed that Lois had him wrapped around her little finger, but still… Clark had his pride. Margot!Lois is once again making an appearance (intermingled in with Durance!Lois for good measure). Margot!/Durance!Lois: (patting Alt-Clark on the shoulder consolingly) Sometimes pride's not worth it buddy. “Yeah… well…Lois and her mother… uh… witnessed the event.” Jimmy appeared uncomfortable; although, he wasn’t telling Clark anything Denny hadn’t mentioned the previous afternoon when Clark had returned to the apartment and been told that Lois had called. Margot!Lois: (shakes a cigarette at Jimmy) THAT'S the understatement of the Year. Nor was Clark looking forward to conversing with Lois about their relationship. He didn’t want to tell her about his fears regarding the curse or how it might stop their relationship from moving forward in a way they both wanted. *shaking my head* First you need to tell her ABOUT the curse before you can tell her your FEARS about it. Priorities, Clark. Priorities. Clark pulled Cat’s note out of his pocket and read it again.
‘You’re right, Clark, that wasn’t Lois. Don’t let Lex win by believing his lies. Tell Lois that you love her.’ I didn't remember Cat giving him that note. Also, does she really believe it to be faked? “When all that dies down, we’ll talk. When I get back, okay?” When she had a few days to calm down, and he had recovered his strength to hold his own against her. I think it's safe to say that canon Clark would tell this one that "waiting until things calm down" often ends with never getting a chance to tell them until it's almost too late (Whine, Whine, Whine comes to mind). At least Lois called him on the "It's not you..." thing (even if it hadn't been meant the way it's often stated. I don't know. I kind of think that he should have informed her sooner but it sounds like Jimmy offered it RIGHT before they met up at the "old" Daily Planet building. Doesn't sound like there was enough opportunity for him to say "I'll think about it."
CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)
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There Is No Spoon: Thank you so much for your comments. Lois is way over reacting, did she ask for Clark's permission to fake her relationship with Lex? So, their relationship hasn't moved past that mistake? Will Clark eventually stop being such a whinny b^^^^ (I don't remember Clark being this whinny even on the show) and stop only thinking about Lois' feelings? What about his feelings and wants? I'm not trying to make Clark sound whinny. He isn't feeling well at the moment and as you said, he's just been through something traumatic, and it has darkened his viewpoint of the world. When I'm feeling sick, I don't want to fight, I just want to be left alone. It's hard to feel happy about anything. Annoyances are more likely to make me lash out than at other times. Has the relationship between Clark and Lois been reduced to Clark being Lois' obedient dog (I keep thinking about the Looney Tunes Cartoon "Spike and Chester")? I'm not familiar with that cartoon. In this part, Clark is standing up for himself and what he wants and needs. Canon Clark often gave in to Lois's demands, usually so she wouldn't go off on her own. He learned early on that standing up to Lois earns her respect more. Alt-Clark was Lana's doormat, and it's a familiar path. He's been trying to make Lois happy by giving her whatever she wants (that doesn't work, BTW), trying to make her undercover assignment less of a burden. Now that it's over, they have to figure out how to be together as a couple again... Actually "again" isn't really very apt, because their relationship has always been hidden, so in a way it's still new. They both have preconceived notions on how they should be. If Clark hadn't been caught by Lex, or emotionally tortured, or hungover he would be more ready (as Lois is) to move their relationship forward. Before the investigation into Lex, he was more ready and she was hesitant. Is Clark not allowed to have any dignity anymore or is it all wrapped up in his "I must love Lois" mantra? Is that the only type of feelings he is allowed to have? If so, that makes for a very boring and one dimensional character.  I hope I haven't done that to Clark. Clark just went through something very traumatic and does not want to tell Lois about it because he wants to protect her. To me that is a bunch of BS and a good example of what I have mentioned above. He doesn't want to tell her because he doesn't want to deal with it. He wants to pretend that it didn't happen and move on. He may say or think that he's only protecting her, but that's only an excuse, because he doesn't want to have to talk about it and what he's been through. He often sees Lois through a veil of someone he needs to protect (also not always true), so thinking that is falling back into familiar territory for him. It's more that he wants to protect himself from what she might think of him... he's afraid she will lose respect for him or start to look down at him, which is how Lana often treated him, and he doesn't want to go there with his relationship with Lois. Thank you for you thoughts and concerns. I'll be sure to keep them in mind as the story progresses.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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What I saw was Clark standing up for his decision, and felt he was being strong here not letting Lois get away with her accusations. He wished her use of her nickname for him gave him strength, but instead the tone in which she used it reminded him of how she once used it as an insult. “I’m sorry, Lois… about a lot of things…” he said, trying to find the words in his muddled head to make her understand what he was going through without having to speak of the incident itself. Clark is not thinking clearly from the residuals of the torture. He's having trouble finding the words and quickly finding a suitable reply to Lois's temper. I didn't see Clark as being whinny or weak (other than the understandable weakness from the torture of kryptonite and that video). He's in physical and emotional pain. His reluctance to deal with this now is totally consistent with not being physically or emotionally able to cope with the added stress, and does not mean he can't deal with it later. Despite Lois yelling, pulling him out of the sun (she obviously knows he need to be in the sun to heal) and exposing him by removing his sunglasses, he calms her down and tells her he loves her. Which shows a quiet strength of character in Clark. Lois's impetuous nature is shown well here, unfortunately adding to Clark's pain. And consistent with Cannon S1 Lois.
Cuidadora
"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor
"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly
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Christina: Thank you for your comments. How's that trip to the islands going?  Margot!Lois is once again making an appearance (intermingled in with Durance!Lois for good measure).
Margot!/Durance!Lois: (patting Alt-Clark on the shoulder consolingly) Sometimes pride's not worth it buddy. That's an interesting combination of Loises there. So, one vote to lose his pride with the guys. Or is it more of a "too late, CK, we already know who wears the pants in your relationship and it isn't Superman." Margot!Lois: (shakes a cigarette at Jimmy) THAT'S the understatement of the Year. Yes, I believe that's what Lois comment had been when Cat had said approximately the same thing to Lois's answering machine. *shaking my head* First you need to tell her ABOUT the curse before you can tell her your FEARS about it. Priorities, Clark. Priorities. Oh? Really? That would work better? Hmmmm. Maybe I should tell Clark? I didn't remember Cat giving him that note. Cat gave a note to Phil, who gave it to Clark before he left their apartment at the crack of dawn that morning. Also, does she really believe it to be faked? Maybe the credits gave it away as a Lex Luthor original. I think it's safe to say that canon Clark would tell this one that "waiting until things calm down" often ends with never getting a chance to tell them until it's almost too late (Whine, Whine, Whine comes to mind). So, he needs to go to Brazil and have another talk with Carlos? Too bad his engines are running on empty. At least Lois called him on the "It's not you..." thing (even if it hadn't been meant the way it's often stated. Well, she knew slugging him was out of the question (until she realized he was vulnerable). I don't know. I kind of think that he should have informed her sooner but it sounds like Jimmy offered it RIGHT before they met up at the "old" Daily Planet building. Doesn't sound like there was enough opportunity for him to say "I'll think about it." He called her twice the day before, leaving messages on her machine. (Okay, technically, he was drunk for one of them.) He called her that morning, leaving yet another message on her machine, asking her to call him. She didn't call him back. And, yes, Jimmy's invitation happened shortly before they met up at the Planet. Thanks for your comments. 
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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cuidadora: Welcome to the boards! It's an honor to have you leave some of your first comments on my story. Thank you for reading. What I saw was Clark standing up for his decision, and felt he was being strong here not letting Lois get away with her accusations. He did feel a bit as if she was accusing him and felt the need to defend himself, even though he couldn't say what it was that delayed him. Clark is not thinking clearly from the residuals of the torture. He's having trouble finding the words and quickly finding a suitable reply to Lois's temper. One usually needs to have super powers to be on an even playing field with Lois. Without them he feels at a distinct disadvantage. I didn't see Clark as being whinny or weak (other than the understandable weakness from the torture of kryptonite and that video). He's in physical and emotional pain. His reluctance to deal with this now is totally consistent with not being physically or emotionally able to cope with the added stress, and does not mean he can't deal with it later. That's what he's hoping. Despite Lois yelling, pulling him out of the sun (she obviously knows he need to be in the sun to heal) and exposing him by removing his sunglasses, he calms her down and tells her he loves her. Which shows a quiet strength of character in Clark. Lois's impetuous nature is shown well here, unfortunately adding to Clark's pain. And consistent with Cannon S1 Lois. At the point where she yelled and pulled him into the shade, she hadn't realized that he was dealing with Kryptonite sickness. As soon as she did, Lois (for the most part) stopped yelling. Technically, it was the hangover more than the Kryptonite which made him sensitive to loud noises. Thank you for your comments.  In case anyone is wondering, I based Clark's hangover with how I felt during the first day away I spent with my husband away from the kids in 9 years. It took me two days of migraine headaches, dizziness, nausea, lightheadedness, body aches, and general weariness (and a description of my symptoms to my sister over the phone) to realize that perhaps I wasn't dying of a viral infection after all. Romance, sadly, was the last thing on my mind. (Thanks, Mom, for refilling my wine glass without telling me the previous two nights at dinner.) I'm usually a one glass of alcohol type woman and what we figured out was about 3-4 glasses of wine had hit me like a ton of bricks. Figuratively, but it sure felt literal.
Last edited by VirginiaR; 08/06/14 06:39 PM. Reason: Fixed Typos
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Christina: Thank you for your comments. How's that trip to the islands going? Thanks for your comments. *sigh* Not yet to the islands, actually. Lois has got them "hung up" at her apartment. WPA!Lois: Not in the "Cat Grant" sense, Virginia. I swear!
CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)
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Christina: Thank you for your comments. How's that trip to the islands going? Thanks for your comments. *sigh* Not yet to the islands, actually. Lois has got them "hung up" at her apartment. WPA!Lois: Not in the "Cat Grant" sense, Virginia. I swear! You're right. It's much too soon for that. Later, perhaps. 
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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*************
A Short Break
************* Oh dear! Is the EW taking her summer vacation? Is Clark going to dump Lois? Is Lois going to take a break from Clark like Rachel did with Ross and will Clark then go and make a baby with Mayson only to have Lois show up the next morning, explaining what ‘break’ means?  Or should I just read and find out?  Clark tilted back his seat on the airplane and closed his eyes, wishing the little sunlight coming through the oval on the wall next to Jimmy would help him feel better. Would it help if the plane’s roof were to rip off, leaving Clark exposed to the sunlight from above? “Got to dry out somehow,” Clark had murmured as his excuse. RALPH: I usually do that in the storage cabinet in the office. “What you need is the desert!” Jimbo had said. “Nice dry heat with the sun beating down on you all day. CLARK: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/verschiedene/f025.gif) UNN has offered him a trip for two to Vegas, all expenses paid. Two plane tickets, two queen sized beds, two nights. Two hookers? especially after those guys roughed you up on your way back from talking to Superman at the Luthor House fire,”  CLARK: Yeah, one was over 50, one was a girl, and the last one an elderly British chap. Now your apartment feels like Metropolis’ Union Station. They don’t shower and leave their drug utensils lying around? “It’s just a hangover,” Clark had said, wondering how badly he looked if he was getting nagged by Jimbo. JIMBO: No, I’ll dibs CK’s TV when he dies next week. JIMMY: But I already called dibs yesterday morning. Besides, you already called dibs on Lois. Between the two of us, I think something happened to him in prison...” Did he become a girlfriend? “Not physically, but… I don’t know. He seems different. Odd. So, he going to snap one day and stab CK in the stomach with a steak knife, trying to figure out what makes him tick? Between the hangover and his loss of powers, his reaction time seemed slower than a slug’s. So, Lois could jump him without him being able to get to safety? Clark was too sick to fly. Literally.  but clearly forgotten in the many years since working as designated bodyguard to drunken sorority girls in college. GIRLS: It’s so cool to have a gay big brother  He perceived that Jimmy had noticed that Lois had him wrapped around her little finger, but still… Clark had his pride. Maybe he should make an honorable woman out of her, then? Clark had his pride.
Somewhere.
He just wasn’t sure where he had put it. LOIS: Funny, what this piece of male pride doing next to my bed? “I heard about his parachute-less swan dive,” Clark admitted, leaning back in his chair. Poor guy. I bet he’d love a video of it. Clark’s gut twisted as he again thought of how horrendous witnessing that event must have been for Lois. LOIS: It was like a splatter movie. It just lacked popcorn. And a hunk to hold on to. But still, so satisfying Then, again, if he had been there – as Superman – everyone would be wondering why he hadn’t saved Luthor. Yeah, would have been better had he floated next to Lex on the way down and talked to him about how he’s going to make a big splat on the ground and how he’d then go and do Lois in her bedroom. Since a scene hadn’t been alluded to this morning, Clark concluded that nothing untoward had happened. TROLLOP: I tried but he was so wasted, he just wasn’t up for it. Lois deserved that much before he even mentioned the curse. So, he’s now both cursed *and* associates sex with Lex and other nasty things? They’re never going to consummate while he’s not under the influence of red kryptonite. LOIS:  Not that Clark would ever mention this fear to anyone, but there was a part of him – a little, teeny, weensy piece of him, which suspected that Lois wouldn’t need Super powers to rip him to shreds, not just emotionally, but physically. So, he’s a bit scared of his little mad dog? When vulnerable, as he currently was, and both hung-over and without powers, that tiny piece of him grew exponentially to became terrified she might succeed. Okay, lots scared. It was even shorter than the style that other Lois had when he had first met her. Oh boy. So, crewcut? It was more like when he had seen her when her Clark had disappeared through that time window. Oh. So her hair is right on time, then? After saying a sharp ‘hello’ she had ignored him for a good ten minutes, so he knew it was definitely her. Lois stepped closer to him and his stomach lurched, causing him to stiffen. You know, I’m sure if she kissed him and he threw up a bit during, she’d stop kissing him. Was she blaming Superman for Luthor’s death and thus the final nail in the coffin of the Daily Planet? Maybe she actually loved Lex just as the video showed and is now beside herself from grief? Or maybe it’s just that she blames him for the mess on her wedding dress? Or maybe the gutsy entrance she had to make into the police precinct? That had been Luthor’s choice, not his. Oh, there are *sooo* many loopholes in that statement for a good lawyer to exploit. You once said that I had to do what I could and that there were limits even to what Superman could do,” Like how he can’t do Lois? LOIS:  CLARK: Not helping. he said, finding his pride. Step on a man’s … ego... It had been neither Superman’s nor his fault that the Daily Planet had been bombed. Exactly. Maybe he should mention that it was Lois’s fault? He reminded himself that she didn’t know what Luthor had done to him, causing his delay. He needed to try another tactic. Like…telling her the *gasp* truth? “You’re probably everything in the world that’s precious to me,” So, all it would take where a couple grams of lead, pressed into a conical shape and accelerated towards her heart to bring him eternal misery? he still loved Lois more than anything; he just didn’t have the ability to show her right now. Because they’re in public and he’s got a hangover? So, sometime late in the next century perhaps. ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/verschiedene/b075.gif) Lois could end up marrying ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/liebe/d015.gif) , they’d then have a daughter who’d end up marrying the spawn of Ralph, just to spite her mother, who’d then end up having a daughter herself with Lois’s reincarnated soul and Clark could marry her a 100 years down the road? How could he admit to her how easily he had been fooled by Mrs. Cox’s disguise? CLARK: She acted like a damsel in distress… LOIS: I thought you said she looked like me? ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/boese/e035.gif) CLARK: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/s045.gif) Or how quickly he had acted when he had thought she was in danger without waiting for her code word? Best not mention that. All Luthor had needed was a damsel in distress, Mrs. Cox had been wearing a Kryptonite necklace, and he hadn’t even noticed it. To be fair, Clark would also only notice Lois wearing a Kryptonite necklace if she where naked from the waist up and the Kryptonite pendent strategically positioned? And even then he might be kind of slow to put green and glow together. Mostly, Clark wanted to protect Lois from the knowledge of the lengths Luthor had gone to sully her good name in Superman’s mind. He does realize just how much celebrity-fake-porn is out there, right? SAMANTHA: How could he tell her that he had doubts? You’ve been dallying with so many men while I thought we were dating, I just couldn’t be sure? Sure, he had been able to talk to Cat about what happened, a little bit, but that was only because she had been there. She had seen what he had been through, so he didn’t have to tell her. Plus, she believed it herself. LOIS: Huh, so *that’s* where those 48 hours went… “Lois,” he whispered, wondering why her anger seemed to be increasing. She’s a Lois and it’s been 4 hours since her last coffee? “Lois,” he whispered, wondering why her anger seemed to be increasing. So, he’s leaving town then? and dragging him into the shadows of the overhang of the Daily Planet portico. Oh boy, she must be really mad to be so mean to him. “Lois, please, I need some time and…”
“And what?” she growled. She took a step forward, and he took another step back. CLARK: Vegas. Hookers! “Distance,” he admitted, glancing away. LOIS: CALL-ME-DANIEL: That was not what he meant at all. He was screwing this all up. Well…he *is* moving his lips. “Look, it’s not you,” Clark said with exasperation. “I promise you that. It’s me.” Oh boy. “You didn’t just go there, did you?” Lois scoffed, starting to pace. “I don’t know what’s up with you, Chuck, but I’m certainly not going to accept that answer.” Maybe someone should tell her that ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/boese/k085.gif) is an option at the moment. “But I refuse,” she interrupted. “Refuse to accept that you used me to bring Luthor down.” So, don’t tell me how you never really wanted to marry me when you proposed, because you never actually loved me.”
Wherever had she gotten that idea? From his behavior? If he could still love her after watching Luthor’s sex tape, nothing would drive him away. I recommend he not tell her ‘I love you, even after you fornicated with the devil’. Thankfully, Lois had handed him right back his sunglasses. As he slipped them on, he glanced over his shoulder to see if anyone was watching them or had seen him without his glasses. MET STAR FRONT PAGE: Superman impersonator in civis nursing a hangover! DIRT DIGGER FRONT PAGE: Met Star fallen to new low after arrest of Preston Carpenter! He sighed and his shoulders fell. Did she really think he rescued people to avoid talking to her? Okay, maybe the old him used to do that, but not the new Clark. The one without powers? You mean there’s a way to opt out of the yelling? By all means, tell me how to turn it off. I’m all ears.” Also, I recommend by occupying her lips with something else to do. CLARK: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/teufel/d035.gif) Noooooo! CLARK: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/liebe/h020.gif)
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Her proximity was making it difficult for him to breathe. He allergic to Earth women when he’s not got super powers? “You said ‘yes’ without consulting me,” Lois stated.
The muscle in his jaw tensed. “I didn’t realize I needed your permission.” I believe it’s customary to discuss with your significant other before heading for a wild weekend in Vegas. “I thought we were a couple,” she said softly. “I thought we’d finally have time for us. I thought we would make these kinds of decisions together.” See? I think I know why he managed to mess up Alt-Rachel, Alt-Lana, C-Lois, Alt-Mayson, Wrong-Linda, Wrong-Mayson. His newly found pride flexed its muscles. “Lois, we are a couple, but I can’t run every decision I make past you first. I think he needs to prioritize better and maybe visit a couple’s therapist for himself and his other personality. “All I’m going to do is spend two days sitting by the pool soaking up as much sunshine as possible, and then I’m coming home. A private pool with more relaxed clothing norms than what is common in the US? According to TV shows, that’s what they do in Vegas. “This is about me recovering faster,” he said. “This isn’t about us.” He didn’t just go there, did he? “You’re right, Lois. I’m sorry. Do you want to come to Las Vegas with us?”  He’s…he’s…he’s leanring! CLARK: I got a manual ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/c085.gif) ... he asked, hoping she would say ‘no’.
Jimmy would kill him if she said ‘yes’. Because then they’d have a girl with them in the room? She placed a hand on his chest, and he wondered if she was about to pull his heart out. Wait, did you say that Once Upon A Time is on your Netflix todo list or that you’re already watching? LOIS: Are you implying that I’m Regina? MAYSON: Can I be Emma, then, please? “Maybe you’re right, Clark. Perhaps we do need some time apart to think about what we really do want.” In Vegas… CLARK: No, Jimmy, she said we’re on a break. That means it’s okay for me to hang out with these nice girls who fall just outside of my acceptable dating range. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against his chest, clinging to him in a manner that made him feel like she was saying ‘goodbye’, because she didn’t think he would ever return. Maybe she had a vision that the plane would make a detour to the Bermuda Triangle? Or maybe it would fly over Cleveland and get sucked into the Hellmouth? He needed to get past this problem first, before he could focus on her. Translation: My problems are more important than you. “I love you,” she whispered, so softly that he almost didn’t hear it being that his good hearing was currently on the fritz. He could get a hearing aid? “I really do like this haircut, Lois,” Clark said, Hey, at least it’s not ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/frech/e045.gif) Has Clark redeemed himself or is he still in the running for Lunkhead of the Year? You have to ask? Was Lois right or was she less than right to be angry with him? LOIS: I’m always right! She had hoped that Clark would be different. It turned out he was an All American Male after all. Oh boy. Michael
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Darth Michael: Hi Michael. Sorry for the delay in my response. Oh dear! Is the EW taking her summer vacation? No, but my writing/computer time did fly out the window this week. Is Clark going to dump Lois? Is Lois going to take a break from Clark like Rachel did with Ross and will Clark then go and make a baby with Mayson only to have Lois show up the next morning, explaining what ‘break’ means? Or should I just read and find out? Wow! I think answering those questions might bring about major spoilage. How about just RaFO? ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/e030.gif) /I know. I know. Where's the fun in that?/ Would it help if the plane’s roof were to rip off, leaving Clark exposed to the sunlight from above? METROPOLIS STAR: /headline/ Bomb explodes plane. There's only one survivor, but he doesn't want to talk to media. RALPH: I usually do that in the storage cabinet in the office. Not pee. Dry out. CLARK: Yeah. That's what Clark has in mind. JIMMY:  And Clark has a girlfriend, soooo... I get his share... LOIS: Get back to Metropolis this instant, Chuck! CLARK: Yeah, one was over 50, one was a girl, and the last one an elderly British chap. Maybe it's best not to talk about it. They don’t shower and leave their drug utensils lying around? JACK: No comment. JIMBO: No, I’ll dibs CK’s TV when he dies next week.
JIMMY: But I already called dibs yesterday morning. Besides, you already called dibs on Lois. The TV is Jimmy's; it came from their apartment when Jimbo moved out. Clark's was stolen and he never replaced it. JIMBO: Drat! Did he become a girlfriend? JIMMY: No comment. EW: There was a reason I added clarification. JIMMY: I still don't want to talk about it. So, he going to snap one day and stab CK in the stomach with a steak knife, trying to figure out what makes him tick? Possibly. That trick would answer a lot of questions, I'm sure. So, Lois could jump him without him being able to get to safety? EW: /points above to Union Station reference/ LOIS: So, my place... but it's bugged, soooooo... GIRLS: It’s so cool to have a gay big brother LANA: Hands off, girls, he's mine. YOUNG ALT-CLARK: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/liebe/n010.gif) Maybe he should make an honorable woman out of her, then? CLARK: /coughs/ Curse. LOIS: Funny, what this piece of male pride doing next to my bed? CAT: Don't worry about it. I have a box of that stuff... /notices Phil eyeing her/... that I'm donating to the local homeless shelter? Poor guy. I bet he’d love a video of it. UNN: What? He hasn't been watching our 24/7 coverage? LOIS: It was like a splatter movie. It just lacked popcorn. And a hunk to hold on to. But still, so satisfying I'm thinking she'll enjoy it more after a month or two. Yeah, would have been better had he floated next to Lex on the way down and talked to him about how he’s going to make a big splat on the ground and how he’d then go and do Lois in her bedroom. MARTHA: That wouldn't have been nice. True, but still not nice. TROLLOP: I tried but he was so wasted, he just wasn’t up for it. (next week) DIRT DIGGER WEEKLY: Luthor's Whore's two-timing boytoy out on the town the night of Luthor's death. Details inside. So, he’s now both cursed *and* associates sex with Lex and other nasty things? They’re never going to consummate while he’s not under the influence of red kryptonite.
LOIS: /razz/ It's really difficult to catch a good man in Metropolis these days. So, he’s a bit scared of his little mad dog? CLARK: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/verschiedene/c050.gif) ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/froehlich/d025.gif) LOIS: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/liebe/k050.gif) Finally, a real relationship! LOIS: Not THAT short. Oh. So her hair is right on time, then? I'm sorry was I supposed to include a TANK HAIRCUT WHAM warning before the part when Lois gets a haircut? You know, I’m sure if she kissed him and he threw up a bit during, she’d stop kissing him. He doesn't want her to stop kissing him forever, just for the foreseeable future. Maybe she actually loved Lex just as the video showed and is now beside herself from grief? Or maybe it’s just that she blames him for the mess on her wedding dress? Or maybe the gutsy entrance she had to make into the police precinct? CLARK:  So, she doesn't like me? Oh, there are *sooo* many loopholes in that statement for a good lawyer to exploit. It had been Luthor's choice to expose Superman to Krytponite to make him lose his powers so that he was unable to fly when insane billionaires thought Metropolis was a giant mirage of water instead of a river of concrete. Where's the loophole? Like how he can’t do Lois?
LOIS: /mad/
CLARK: Not helping. LOIS: Don't worry, Chuck. You take care of the hard stuff. I'll take care of everything else. CLARK: Like the running away? I can do that. /tries running/ Hey. How come I’m not going anywhere? LOIS: Kryptonite poisoning. Why don’t you come lay down on my bed? I’ve got some of your favorite ties to keep you company. CLARK: Gosh, Lois, you’re so… why are they tied to the bedpost? Get ego all over your shoe? Exactly. Maybe he should mention that it was Lois’s fault? When should be a good time? Right before Wells returns with the antidote to the curse? Like…telling her the *gasp* truth? CLARK: I didn't lie... just omitted. So, all it would take where a couple grams of lead, pressed into a conical shape and accelerated towards her heart to bring him eternal misery? CLARK: Now, why did he have to bring up Alt-Lois for?  Because they’re in public and he’s got a hangover? Because when you're not feeling well romance is the last thing on your mind. Or is that just something weird that women experience? Lois could end up marrying /call me Daniel/, they’d then have a daughter who’d end up marrying the spawn of Ralph, just to spite her mother, who’d then end up having a daughter herself with Lois’s reincarnated soul and Clark could marry her a 100 years down the road? He meant tell her about Luthor's cage and video in 100 years. CLARK: And it might only take 60 years. CLARK: She acted like a damsel in distress…
LOIS: I thought you said she looked like me? /not liking being called a damsel/
CLARK: /uh/ A really unpretty version of you? CLARK: See! To be fair, Clark would also only notice Lois wearing a Kryptonite necklace if she where naked from the waist up and the Kryptonite pendent strategically positioned? And even then he might be kind of slow to put green and glow together. CLARK: Ooooh. Pretty. And the jewelry... Ow! Also, isn't that kind of what happened to him when he saved her from the thugs next to the elevated train? CLARK: LOIS: See. You've got a problem. SUPERMAN: Hi, my name is Kal-El. I have a problem. I like to rescue women from dangerous situations. JUSTICE LEAGUE: Hi, Kal-El.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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*** Response to Darth Michael's FDK - Part 2 ***He does realize just how much celebrity-fake-porn is out there, right?
SAMANTHA: /wave/ LOIS: Clark, can you explain this video someone forwarded to me of Superman in a den of hookers? CLARK: That's not me! LOIS: Uh-huh. You’ve been dallying with so many men while I thought we were dating, I just couldn’t be sure? CLARK: See! I mean, no, that's not what I meant. I trust you, Minha. Plus, she believed it herself.
LOIS: Huh, so *that’s* where those 48 hours went… Exactly. Oh, dear. Had Lois been sprayed with Revenge and come on to Luthor? ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/muede/n022.gif) She’s a Lois and it’s been 4 hours since her last coffee? CLARK: I knew I was forgetting something. So, he’s leaving town then? /points to opening scene of Clark on plane./ Oh boy, she must be really mad to be so mean to him. Why is it mean to talk to someone in the shadows? JIMMY: You're paying, man! LOIS: /mad/
CALL-ME-DANIEL: /wave/ So, he's coming to town early? Well…he *is* moving his lips. CLARK: But she *wanted* to talk. Maybe someone should tell her that is an option at the moment. CAT: Me! I will! Me! Choose me! From her dream of canon Clark telling her that he lied about liking her. I recommend he not tell her ‘I love you, even after you fornicated with the devil’. Yes. That's good advice. MET STAR FRONT PAGE: Superman impersonator in civis nursing a hangover!
DIRT DIGGER FRONT PAGE: Met Star fallen to new low after arrest of Preston Carpenter! The Clark who knows that she knows CK=SM. Also, I recommend by occupying her lips with something else to do.
CLARK: /Gets some naughty ideas/
ER: /Gibbs slaps Clark and reminds him that this is a Gfic/ Noooooo!
CLARK: /tries thinking again and comes up with Gfic answer/ EW: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/nahrung/h025.gif) He allergic to Earth women when he’s not got super powers? Now, that makes sense. I believe it’s customary to discuss with your significant other before heading for a wild weekend in Vegas. CLARK: A wild weekend of sunbathing? See? I think I know why he managed to mess up Alt-Rachel, Alt-Lana, C-Lois, Alt-Mayson, Wrong-Linda, Wrong-Mayson. Technically, he hasn't met any version of Mayson, yet. I think he needs to prioritize better and maybe visit a couple’s therapist for himself and his other personality. DR. FRISKIN: Superman, what do you think of what Clark said? SUPERMAN: Oh, sorry, I wasn't listening. Damsel in distress. Excuse me. A private pool with more relaxed clothing norms than what is common in the US? According to TV shows, that’s what they do in Vegas. CLARK: We're staying at a hotel, not at Spencer Spencer's private retreat! JIMMY: He didn’t just go there, did he? Yep. ER: /stunned/ He’s…he’s…he’s leanring!
CLARK: I got a manual /blushing/... JIMMY: Hey, CK, Can I borrow your book, everything you wanted to know about women and were terrified to ever ask them? Because then they’d have a girl with them in the room? JIMMY: Mad Dog's a girl? Wait, did you say that Once Upon A Time is on your Netflix todo list or that you’re already watching? Just finished S1 last week. I find watching TV interferes with my writing and FDK responses. I did get the first DVD of Game of Thrones though. That's one R-rated show, isn't it? Is there any characters I'm going to like who don't end up dying or giving up their morals? LOIS: Are you implying that I’m Regina?
MAYSON: Can I be Emma, then, please? LOIS: It so explains a lot to know that you were an unwed mother who gave up her son because he interfered with your partying lifestyle. In Vegas…
CLARK: No, Jimmy, she said we’re on a break. That means it’s okay for me to hang out with these nice girls who fall just outside of my acceptable dating range. ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/a050.gif) I thought we agreed that he was learning? Maybe she had a vision that the plane would make a detour to the Bermuda Triangle? But... but... but... this Lois hasn't gone a cruise over there? Or maybe it would fly over Cleveland and get sucked into the Hellmouth? Um... I thought the Hellmouth was in Southern California? Translation: My problems are more important than you. CLARK: Oooops. He could get a hearing aid? But he heard her. “I really do like this haircut, Lois,” Clark said, Hey, at least it’s not CLARK: Never mind, get me the hearing aid. I couldn't understand a thing Michael was whispering. Has Clark redeemed himself or is he still in the running for Lunkhead of the Year? You have to ask? Soooo, redeemed himself? CLARK: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/k015.gif)
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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No, but my writing/computer time did fly out the window this week. Oh dear! You need to have a serious discussion with RL about EW-happy time /I know. I know. Where's the fun in that?/ Oooh! Oooh! I know! I know! It’s the FDK METROPOLIS STAR: /headline/ Bomb explodes plane. There's only one survivor, but he doesn't want to talk to media. Quote:
RALPH: I usually do that in the storage cabinet in the office.
Not pee. Dry out. That’s awfully specific, there. LOIS: Get back to Metropolis this instant, Chuck! Lois a bit proprietary? EW: There was a reason I added clarification. Maybe he just received poetry? EW: /points above to Union Station reference/
LOIS: So, my place... but it's bugged, soooooo... Quote:
Maybe he should make an honorable woman out of her, then?
CLARK: /coughs/ Curse. Fortunately, making her honorable doesn’t necessarily include making her happy. /notices Phil eyeing her/... that I'm donating to the local homeless shelter? Some ex-stock-broker who got the worse end of a Luthor deal: Hey, look. That looks like it could be mine… I'm thinking she'll enjoy it more after a month or two. It’s an acquired taste? MARTHA: That wouldn't have been nice. True, but still not nice. Funny, how Martha limits her scolding to the taunting and not to not stopping the fall. MARTHA: That’s what the pavement is for. (next week) DIRT DIGGER WEEKLY: Luthor's Whore's two-timing boytoy out on the town the night of Luthor's death. Details inside. LOIS: CLARK: Because they called you a whore’? Quote:
So, he’s a bit scared of his little mad dog?
CLARK: <yes, but please keep it quiet> BATMAN: Quote:
Okay, lots scared.
LOIS: <likes her boytoys broken in> Finally, a real relationship! I'm sorry was I supposed to include a TANK HAIRCUT WHAM warning before the part when Lois gets a haircut?  No, I was just trying to place her hair-style as the universal timeline constant. CLARK: <not happy about being the bright center of the universe> So, she doesn't like me? It had been Luthor's choice to expose Superman to Krytponite to make him lose his powers so that he was unable to fly when insane billionaires thought Metropolis was a giant mirage of water instead of a river of concrete. Where's the loophole? Well…for starters, Superman actively tried to interfere in the coupling of a soon-to-be-wed couple. The groom might have felt cuckolded and decided that life’s not worth it. Then there’s the constant spying that Superman does. That could drive a man to suicide. We also have the systematic attempts of Clark Kent and his crew of ne’er-do-wells to discredit Luthor in the eyes of the public and his fiancé. We also should consider the MPD’s involvement in Lex’s alleged suicide. LOIS: Kryptonite poisoning. Why don’t you come lay down on my bed? I’ve got some of your favorite ties to keep you company.
CLARK: Gosh, Lois, you’re so… why are they tied to the bedpost? /offers up IKEA diagram/ CLARK: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/k045.gif) Quote:
Step on a man’s … ego...
Get ego all over your shoe? When should be a good time? Right before Wells returns with the antidote to the curse? Quote:
Like…telling her the *gasp* truth?
CLARK: I didn't lie... just omitted. I don’t think that line’s going to work with Lois. LOIS: Depends on whether he’s already naked and tied to my bed… CLARK: Now, why did he have to bring up Alt-Lois for? <thinks the ER is referring to his ex-Lois> Quote:
Because they’re in public and he’s got a hangover?
Because when you're not feeling well romance is the last thing on your mind. Or is that just something weird that women experience? CLARK: Umm…yes. Romance. Right. That’s what I was going for! A really unpretty version of you? LOIS: And you thought she was *me*? CLARK: Ooooh. Pretty. And the jewelry... Ow!
Also, isn't that kind of what happened to him when he saved her from the thugs next to the elevated train? LOIS: See. You've got a problem.
SUPERMAN: Hi, my name is Kal-El. I have a problem. I like to rescue women from dangerous situations.
JUSTICE LEAGUE: Hi, Kal-El. LOIS: Clark, can you explain this video someone forwarded to me of Superman in a den of hookers?
CLARK: That's not me!
LOIS: Uh-huh. He could try finding the beauty marks on his body and pointing the lack of them out to Lois. LOIS: I’d have to verify those for myself, of course. For instance, there’s the one you say that you have on your buttocks…? CLARK: See! I mean, no, that's not what I meant. I trust you, Minha. Afraid of rabid dogs? Oh, dear. Had Lois been sprayed with Revenge and come on to Luthor? <EW doesn’t like her own train of thought> Why is it mean to talk to someone in the shadows? Because it’s like when you are sitting at a hospital bed in the ICU and squeeze off the oxygen line? Quote:
LOIS: /mad/
CALL-ME-DANIEL: /wave/
So, he's coming to town early? It would be one possible next step, yes? CAT: Me! I will! Me! Choose me! So, Cat not happy with Clark for the recent marital trouble? The Clark who knows that she knows CK=SM. Because she’d be getting really mad once she finds out the interruption was fake? EW:<suggests feeding Lois delicious CLARK bars> CLARK: A wild weekend of sunbathing? When there’s girls involved? Technically, he hasn't met any version of Mayson, yet. Oh, this one hasn’t dates Alt-Mayson yet? DR. FRISKIN: Superman, what do you think of what Clark said?
SUPERMAN: Oh, sorry, I wasn't listening. Damsel in distress. Excuse me. CLARK: We're staying at a hotel, not at Spencer Spencer's private retreat!
JIMMY: <sad they’re not going to the Montecito> TV show: Las Vegas Quote:
Because then they’d have a girl with them in the room?
JIMMY: Mad Dog's a girl? She’s inappropriate for Clark to date, so…’girl’? LOIS: Inappropriate? Why am I ‘inappropriate’? <insert string of blue language> Just finished S1 last week. I find watching TV interferes with my writing and FDK responses. I did get the first DVD of Game of Thrones though. Also, how many episodes is that? That's one R-rated show, isn't it? Yes, there is a lot of blood and on-screen violence. Is there any characters I'm going to like who don't end up dying or giving up their morals? Umm…do characters count whom you don’t like now but will grow to like later on because they find their morals and who haven’t yet died by the end of book 5? LOIS: It so explains a lot to know that you were an unwed mother who gave up her son because he interfered with your partying lifestyle. I thought we agreed that he was learning? Doesn’t mean he can’t make a misstep or two along the way? Quote:
Maybe she had a vision that the plane would make a detour to the Bermuda Triangle?
But... but... but... this Lois hasn't gone a cruise over there? She needs a reason to go there? And finding Clark could be just as well as disposing of a Kryptonite bullet. Although, I do recommend separate trips for those two acitivities. Um... I thought the Hellmouth was in Southern California? According to Giles, there’s a second one in Cleveland. Quote:
Translation: My problems are more important than you.
CLARK: Oooops. ‘Female’ is quite a difficult language to master, isn’t it? Quote:
He could get a hearing aid?
But he heard her. Almost didn’t. CLARK: Never mind, get me the hearing aid. I couldn't understand a thing Michael was whispering. Fine. She doesn’t look like those nice round faces without any hair on top. Originally Posted By: Michael
Originally Posted By: EW
Has Clark redeemed himself or is he still in the running for Lunkhead of the Year?
You have to ask?
Soooo, redeemed himself? Umm…the other one? Quote:
LOIS: I’m always right!
CLARK: <doesn’t think her opinion counts> LOIS: Michael
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Oh dear! You need to have a serious discussion with RL about EW-happy time. Oh, yeah. Do you have RL's phone number or email address? This week should be better... oh, right. I'm supposed to amp up my job search this week.  Oooh! Oooh! I know! I know! It’s the FDK Always. So, you're thinking there's a trust issue? ER: Maybe he should make an honorable woman out of her, then?
CLARK: /coughs/ Curse.
ER: Fortunately, making her honorable doesn’t necessarily include making her happy. LOIS: And there we have *my* curse. Which one do you think will trump the other? CAT: /notices Phil eyeing her/... that I'm donating to the local homeless shelter?
Some ex-stock-broker who got the worse end of a Luthor deal: Hey, look. That looks like it could be mine… And he'd be right. MARTHA: That wouldn't have been nice. True, but still not nice.
ER: Funny, how Martha limits her scolding to the taunting and not to not stopping the fall.
MARTHA: /huh/ That’s what the pavement is for. JONATHAN: /arm around wife/ That man hurt our boy. He made his decision to meet the pavement. (next week) DIRT DIGGER WEEKLY: Luthor's Whore's two-timing boytoy out on the town the night of Luthor's death. Details inside.
LOIS: /mad/
CLARK: Because they called you a whore’? LOIS: No. /phishaw/ I've been called worse. They called you a boy. I have 100 headlines here which state otherwise. So, he’s a bit scared of his little mad dog?
CLARK: <yes, but please keep it quiet>
BATMAN: /rotflol/ CLARK: So, Bruce, how's that little cat problem you've been having in Gotham? EW: It had been Luthor's choice to expose Superman to Krytponite to make him lose his powers so that he was unable to fly when insane billionaires thought Metropolis was a giant mirage of water instead of a river of concrete. Where's the loophole?
ER: Well…for starters, Superman actively tried to interfere in the coupling of a soon-to-be-wed couple. /cough/ No evidence pertaining to that hearsay. ER: The groom might have felt cuckolded and decided that life’s not worth it. Lois points to evidence of said man cheating on her before their supposed wedding. ER: Then there’s the constant spying that Superman does. Again, no evidence. Unlike all the evidence collected at Lois's apartment regarding the Voyeur which has been linked back to Luthor. That could drive a man to suicide. We also have the systematic attempts of Clark Kent and his crew of ne’er-do-wells to discredit Luthor in the eyes of the public and his fiancé. PERRY: Cold hard facts. We can't help it if Luthor chose to do things which make him look bad. It's our job to report it. ER: We also should consider the MPD’s involvement in Lex’s alleged suicide. HENDERSON: My team and I never touched him. LOIS: Kryptonite poisoning. Why don’t you come lay down on my bed? I’ve got some of your favorite ties to keep you company.
CLARK: Gosh, Lois, you’re so… why are they tied to the bedpost? ER: /offers up IKEA diagram/
CLARK: /confused by the insert tab A into slot B LOIS: *Excuse me!* But Tab A goes into Slot A. CLARK: Now it makes sense. I was wondering what this other woman was doing in the picture. LOIS: Woman? /takes diagram and turns it over/ It's a bed. CLARK: Ooooooh. I don't get it. EW: When should be a good time? Right before Wells returns with the antidote to the curse?
ER: /has a brilliant idea/ Like…telling her the *gasp* truth?
CLARK: I didn't lie... just omitted.
ER: I don’t think that line’s going to work with Lois.
LOIS: Depends on whether he’s already naked and tied to my bed… CANON LOIS: On which Lois exactly do you think that will work? EW: Sorry, I misread as "this Lois". My apologies. CLARK: A really unpretty version of you?
LOIS: And you thought she was *me*? PERRY: Just quit while you're still in the game, son. LOIS: Clark, can you explain this video someone forwarded to me of Superman in a den of hookers?
CLARK: That's not me!
LOIS: Uh-huh.
ER: He could try finding the beauty marks on his body and pointing the lack of them out to Lois.
LOIS: I’d have to verify those for myself, of course. For instance, there’s the one you say that you have on your buttocks…? CLARK: /spinning around in a circle/ I can't see that one. But I do have this one under my belly button. LOIS: Sold! Drop 'em, big guy! LOIS: /mad/
CALL-ME-DANIEL: /wave/
EW: So, he's coming to town early?
ER: It would be one possible next step, yes? LOIS: Once you've tasted chocolate, why would you ever want Rocky Road. My love life is rocky enough without his road. DAN: CLARK: A wild weekend of sunbathing?
ER: When there’s girls involved? Any girls involvement will be discussed in a later Part's FDK. Oh, this one hasn’t dates Alt-Mayson yet? Nope. Only Alt-Rachel and Alt-Lana. Because then they’d have a girl with them in the room?
JIMMY: Mad Dog's a girl?
ER: She’s inappropriate for Clark to date, so…’girl’?
LOIS: Inappropriate? Why am I ‘inappropriate’? <insert string of blue language> JIMMY:  I was going for she's a.. /cough/ a lady. EW: I did get the first DVD of Game of Thrones though.
ER: Also, how many episodes is that? There are 2 episodes per disk. We've seen the first 4 episodes so far. And after Episode 2, nothing has really happened. At least the Agents of SHIELD have 5 episodes per disk. Yes, there is a lot of blood and on-screen violence. And that's only how the viewer feels after watching those dizzifying opening credits. EW: Is there any characters I'm going to like who don't end up dying or giving up their morals?
ER: Umm…do characters count whom you don’t like now but will grow to like later on because they find their morals and who haven’t yet died by the end of book 5? I like a couple of characters better now. When do the dragons appear? (My highly inappropriate mother who wouldn't take me to see the Chorus Line at age 12, thought I should show GoT to my 7 y.o. son because of the dragons. um... that would be a "No". But we did show him and my daughter Hobbit: movie 2, which they loved. I even broke my don't show them the movie until they've read the book rule, because I don't think he'd care much for all the talking and walking and nothing else happening for 150 pages. Hence why we started them on Movie 2.) She needs a reason to go there? And finding Clark could be just as well as disposing of a Kryptonite bullet. Although, I do recommend separate trips for those two activities. Let's just say, she's not going on that kind of cruise. According to Giles, there’s a second one in Cleveland. Having lived in Ohio, it so explains a lot. ‘Female’ is quite a difficult language to master, isn’t it? CLARK: EW: Has Clark redeemed himself or is he still in the running for Lunkhead of the Year?
ER: You have to ask?
EW: Soooo, redeemed himself?
ER: Umm…the other one? CLARK: What did I do wrong now?
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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oh, right. I'm supposed to amp up my job search this week. ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/traurig/k055.gif) What about one of those jobs where you determine the fate of a couple of characters who keep discussing a gun all week long or suddenly turn out to be their twin brother’s long lost cousin’s wife? You’re very good at that. LOIS: And there we have *my* curse. Which one do you think will trump the other? In regard to happy wife = happy life? JONATHAN: /arm around wife/ That man hurt our boy. He made his decision to meet the pavement. They’re a very down-to-earth couple, huh? LOIS: No. /phishaw/ I've been called worse. They called you a boy. I have 100 headlines here which state otherwise. She referring to the Dirt Digger bringing a new interview with some skank about how Superman got her with child at least twice a week? CLARK: So, Bruce, how's that little cat problem you've been having in Gotham? BRUCE: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/boese/d010.gif) Lois points to evidence of said man cheating on her before their supposed wedding. LEX: /points to double standard/ Again, no evidence. Unlike all the evidence collected at Lois's apartment regarding the Voyeur which has been linked back to Luthor. I’m sure a lot of women would testify to being voyeured by Superman. PERRY: Cold hard facts. We can't help it if Luthor chose to do things which make him look bad. It's our job to report it. Always blaming the victim, huh? HENDERSON: My team and I never touched him. Maybe they had someone else with them to do the dirty work? CLARK: Now it makes sense. I was wondering what this other woman was doing in the picture.
LOIS: Woman? /takes diagram and turns it over/ It's a bed.
CLARK: Ooooooh. I don't get it. PERRY: Just quit while you're still in the game, son. Too bad he’s not a quitter, isn’t it? CLARK: Let’s see… I quit Rachel. Lana. That other Lois. My personal life. My own Lois. My own dimension. Did I forget something? LOIS: Once you've tasted chocolate, why would you ever want Rocky Road. My love life is rocky enough without his road.
DAN:<confused by all the chocolate in the room> JIMMY: peep I was going for she's a.. /cough/ a lady. ![[Linked Image]](http://cdnvideo.dolimg.com/cdn_assets/ea89f48925267beae730199856094553f878a1f6.jpg) We've seen the first 4 episodes so far. And after Episode 2, nothing has really happened. Umm…They…Umm…Turney…Umm…Tyrion & Cat? Things kind of pick up speed now that the setup is done? You already up to 6 now? At least the Agents of SHIELD have 5 episodes per disk. Well…naked boobies take up space? And that's only how the viewer feels after watching those dizzifying opening credits. <feels like she’s reading Wrong Clark for the first time> But those are so awesome! The sun even tells the story of how the dragon came to Westeros to conquer the lands before itself fell prey to the stag, the wolf, and the lion until all the animals of the realm bowed to the noble stag. And isn’t he a glorious and inspiring figure indeed? I like a couple of characters better now. OooH! Which ones? When do the dragons appear? Dragons? Oh, you mean the Targaryans (their house sigil is a dragon)? Well, Dany and her brother Viserion have been there since the first episode. Plus, Dany has gotten a gift of three dragon eggs for her wedding. Or did you mean the fire-breathing kind because this is has been marketed as a fantasy show? thought I should show GoT to my 7 y.o. son because of the dragons. um... Oh. Umm…Wasn’t Ned’s little girl in the catacombs and saw a dragon skull? You really do hope for the cute kind, right? ![[Linked Image]](http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120310164035/p__/protagonist/images/b/b5/Elliott_the_dragon.gif) Also, GoT is not strictly suitable for kids who aren’t yet used to watching blood and nudity and gore on TV. On a slightly related note: Even if there *were* dragons on the show, I don’t think a 7 y/o would appreciate them. Much. But everyone is telling us that the dragons have died out, so… ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/frech/a050.gif) It’s a lot like the EW telling us that Lois is just getting fat. But we did show him and my daughter Hobbit: movie 2, which they loved. I even broke my don't show them the movie until they've read the book rule, because I don't think he'd care much for all the talking and walking and nothing else happening for 150 pages. Hence why we started them on Movie 2.) Having lived in Ohio, it so explains a lot. CLARK: huh What did I do wrong now? Where should I start. Moved his lips, lately, when they haven’t been attached to Lois’s? Michael
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EW: oh, right. I'm supposed to amp up my job search this week.
ER: /has pity on fanfic writers trying to make it in RL/ What about one of those jobs where you determine the fate of a couple of characters who keep discussing a gun all week long or suddenly turn out to be their twin brother’s long lost cousin’s wife? You’re very good at that. I don't think that's what the local paper is looking for when they advertise for "reporter". LOIS: And there we have *my* curse. Which one do you think will trump the other?
ER: In regard to happy wife = happy life? The curse Lois is referring to are the men she usually ends up dating: Paul, Claude, Lex... CLARK: Clark. LOIS: Exactly! JONATHAN: /arm around wife/ That man hurt our boy. He made his decision to meet the pavement.
ER: They’re a very down-to-earth couple, huh? So people shouldn't be responsible for the decisions they make? LEX: /lifts head off pavement/ Sounds like a good defense to me. LOIS: No. /phishaw/ I've been called worse. They called you a boy. I have 100 headlines here which state otherwise.
ER: She referring to the Dirt Digger bringing a new interview with some skank about how Superman got her with child at least twice a week? LOIS: No, I was referring to *of course* all MY Superman articles from the Daily Planet! CLARK: So, Bruce, how's that little cat problem you've been having in Gotham?
BRUCE: /I've whipped it/ CATWOMAN: /purring/ I believe he means "he's whipped". Lois points to evidence of said man cheating on her before their supposed wedding.
LEX: /points to double standard/ LOIS: /points to the fact that only SHE is allowed to make double standards/ LEX: EW: Again, no evidence. Unlike all the evidence collected at Lois's apartment regarding the Voyeur which has been linked back to Luthor.
ER: I’m sure a lot of women would testify to being voyeured by Superman. And the proof that they aren't lying (or being hopeful) is? PERRY: Cold hard facts. We can't help it if Luthor chose to do things which make him look bad. It's our job to report it.
ER BENDER: Always blaming the victim, huh? PERRY: Victim? Victim? He's the suspect! HENDERSON: My team and I never touched him.
ER BENDER: Maybe they had someone else with them to do the dirty work? MR. MORRIS (aka Invisible Man): PERRY: Just quit while you're still in the game, son.
ER: Too bad he’s not a quitter, isn’t it?
CLARK: Let’s see… I quit Rachel. Lana. That other Lois. My personal life. My own Lois. My own dimension. Did I forget something? HOPE: JIMMY: I was going for she's a.. /cough/ a lady.
ER: /this lady?/ JIMMY: No, she's not mad enough. I mean, well, look at the time... ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/s015.gif) Umm…They…Umm…Turney…Umm…Tyrion & Cat? Things kind of pick up speed now that the setup is done? You already up to 6 now? Still waiting for disc 3 (Episodes 5-6) EW: At least the Agents of SHIELD have 5 episodes per disk.
ER: Well…naked boobies take up space? CLARK: But those are so awesome! The sun even tells the story of how the dragon came to Westeros to conquer the lands before itself fell prey to the stag, the wolf, and the lion until all the animals of the realm bowed to the noble stag. And isn’t he a glorious and inspiring figure indeed? I can't watch them. The camera movement gives me motion sickness. EW: /blushfully admits/ I like a couple of characters better now.
ER: OooH! Which ones? /excited/ I like the dragon lady with the blonde hair married to the wildman (especially after she stood up to her #^%$&*# brother). The daughter with the sword, who doesn't want to be a princess. The dwarf brother of the queen is a well-rounded character. Jon Snow. I guess I like underdogs. Or did you mean the fire-breathing kind because this is has been marketed as a fantasy show? Those would be the ones. EW: My mom thought I should show GoT to my 7 y.o. son because of the dragons. um...
ER: Oh. Umm…Wasn’t Ned’s little girl in the catacombs and saw a dragon skull? You really do hope for the cute kind, right? I believe she meant more the Hobbit kind. Also, GoT is not strictly suitable for kids who aren’t yet used to watching blood and nudity and gore on TV. On a slightly related note: Even if there *were* dragons on the show, I don’t think a 7 y/o would appreciate them. Much. But everyone is telling us that the dragons have died out, so…/of course, you'll *never* see real dragons on GoT/ It’s a lot like the EW telling us that Lois is just getting fat. Hence, not showing GoT to my children... ever! (if they're ever interested in watching it, they can download it onto their cloud screens once they've moved out after graduation). Lois isn't getting fat. LOIS: [img] http://tinyurl.com/cmlq5zn[/img] /hmmm, my Lois eating chocolate bunny smilie isn't working. / I have no idea to what he could be referring. CLARK: What did I do wrong now?
ER: Where should I start. Moved his lips, lately, when they haven’t been attached to Lois’s? LOIS: You've kiss another woman!  CLARK: What? No! Michael! /takes deep breath and forgives him/ Michael was only making a joke, Lois. I would never kiss a woman who didn't look exactly like you. LEX: Me, too! LOIS: /eyes both men suspiciously/ LEX & CLARK: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/e015.gif)
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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I don't think that's what the local paper is looking for when they advertise for "reporter". Oh. You’re looking for someone to pay you for making up true stories. That’s cool. That means you’re just like Lois, huh? The curse Lois is referring to are the men she usually ends up dating: Paul, Claude, Lex...
CLARK: Clark.
LOIS: Exactly! ER: They’re a very down-to-earth couple, huh?
So people shouldn't be responsible for the decisions they make?
LEX: /lifts head off pavement/ Sounds like a good defense to me. Also, I was thinking ‘down-to-earth’ in a literal sense of what they prefer to have become of Lex. LOIS: No, I was referring to *of course* all MY Superman articles from the Daily Planet! Not liking the competition or the fact that she’s losing? PEOPLE: Superman stopping some bank robber gets old fast. But Superman knocking up another college-coed, now that’s always great news. CATWOMAN: /purring/ I believe he means "he's whipped". LOIS: /points to the fact that only SHE is allowed to make double standards/
LEX: <happy his wife is so arguable> And the proof that they aren't lying (or being hopeful) is? Their word? Plus several photo series in Dirt Digger Weekly and National Whisper or Superman next to their windows? PERRY: Victim? Victim? He's the suspect! BENDER: Considering the present state of my client, I believe he cannot be referred to as a ‘suspect’. This is there for slander and I will have you sued for your pension and your kids’ college funds. Did I forget something?
HOPE: <doesn’t want to be left out> ER: /this lady?/
JIMMY: No, she's not mad enough. I mean, well, look at the time... Still waiting for disc 3 (Episodes 5-6) That’s not nice of…Netflix? Quote:
EW: At least the Agents of SHIELD have 5 episodes per disk.
ER: Well…naked boobies take up space?
CLARK: <has no idea what to do with naked boobies> LOIS: My cross to bare. There’s a running gag in the blogosphere, and the directors have picked up on it and join in the fun, that GoT has an abundance of gratuitous nudity, possibly due to network demands. Since one would strive to present the biggest selling point (after intrigue, murder, zombies, and dragon) in as much definition as possible, one would fathom that the naked boobies are responsible for there only fitting two episodes onto a single disk. I can't watch them. The camera movement gives me motion sickness. Oh you poor dear! On an unrelated note – what if one wrote a Lois who gets sick when flying? like the dragon lady with the blonde hair [Dany] married to the wildman [Khal Drogo] (especially after she stood up to her #^%$&*# brother [Viserys] ). The daughter with the sword [Aria], who doesn't want to be a princess. The dwarf brother [Tyrion] of the queen [Cersei] is a well-rounded character. Jon Snow. I guess I like underdogs. Yes, Dany informing her brother of his place was great fun. And Emilia Clark delivers some great speeches. This was just a teaser. Also, there’s a lot of underdogs in GoT Quote:
Or did you mean the fire-breathing kind because this is has been marketed as a fantasy show?
EW: Those would be the ones. I believe she meant more the Hobbit kind. Yeah. Although that one is still pretty unfriendly and murderous. (if they're ever interested in watching it, they can download it onto their cloud screens once they've moved out after graduation). Oh, you’re telling us that her clothes getting tighter around her chest-area and waist is not related to chocolates? /hmmm, my Lois eating chocolate bunny smilie isn't working. I have no idea to what he could be referring. Right. ER: Where should I start. Moved his lips, lately, when they haven’t been attached to Lois’s?
LOIS: You've kiss another woman! How does she get from here to *there*? I would never kiss a woman who didn't look exactly like you. That’s a very lawyery way to phrase this. LOIS: /eyes both men suspiciously/ So, she dealt with lawyers before, then, huh? Michael
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Oh. You’re looking for someone to pay you for making up true stories. That’s cool. That means you’re just like Lois, huh? LOIS: I think you're confusing me with a blonde reporter named Linda. I only write the truth. Also, I was thinking ‘down-to-earth’ in a literal sense of what they prefer to have become of Lex. MARTHA: We didn't *say* that. JONATHAN: No. We thought it. But we're nice country folk and don't say such things out loud. LOIS: No, I was referring to *of course* all MY Superman articles from the Daily Planet!
ER: Not liking the competition or the fact that she’s losing?
PEOPLE: Superman stopping some bank robber gets old fast. But Superman knocking up another college-coed, now that’s always great news. LOIS: I was talking real news, not fiction. EW: And the proof that they aren't lying (or being hopeful) is?
ER: Their word? Plus several photo series in Dirt Digger Weekly and National Whisper or Superman next to their windows? LOIS: Doctored! Those aren't real photos! CLARK: Um... isn't that flames coming out that window? Wasn't that the fire Superman put out last week? PERRY: Victim? Victim? He's the suspect!
BENDER: Considering the present state of my client, I believe he cannot be referred to as a ‘suspect’. This is there for slander and I will have you sued for your pension and your kids’ college funds. PERRY: Sure, I'll have my son Jerry write you out a check. EW: Still waiting for disc 3 (Episodes 5-6)
ER: That’s not nice of…Netflix? Well, it might have something to do with it not being at the top of my list. They kind of expect me to return the other rentals I have out before sending us new stuff. I'm sure you understand. EW: At least the Agents of SHIELD have 5 episodes per disk.
ER: Well…naked boobies take up space?
CLARK: <has no idea what to do with naked boobies>
LOIS: My cross to bare. CLARK: I know what they are. I meant I don't watch shows with Marvel characters. ER: There’s a running gag in the blogosphere, and the directors have picked up on it and join in the fun, that GoT has an abundance of gratuitous nudity, possibly due to network demands. Since one would strive to present the biggest selling point (after intrigue, murder, zombies, and dragon) in as much definition as possible, one would fathom that the naked boobies are responsible for there only fitting two episodes onto a single disk. High def is very important to DVD watchers. Oh you poor dear! On an unrelated note – what if one wrote a Lois who gets sick when flying? SUPERMAN: I swear, Mr. White, WE haven't had sex yet. She can't be pregnant. PERRY: Yet? LOIS: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/k020.gif) Men! Pregnancy isn't the only thing that causes vomiting you know. SUPERMAN: It isn't? Yes, Dany informing her brother of his place was great fun. And Emilia Clark delivers some great speeches. This was just a teaser. Also, there’s a lot of underdogs in GoT Right! I like the dogs too.  Yeah. Although that one is still pretty unfriendly and murderous. I don't know, I thought Smaug was fun. Sure, not for the Dwarves or the city by the lake, but for us viewers. EW: Lois isn't getting fat.
ER: Oh, you’re telling us that her clothes getting tighter around her chest-area and waist is not related to chocolates? LOIS: I plan to go on a new exercise program in a few days. CLARK: ER: Where should I start. Moved his lips, lately, when they haven’t been attached to Lois’s?
LOIS: You've kiss another woman!
ER: How does she get from here to *there*? Simple, you implied that he moves his lips *when they haven't been attached to Lois's*, which meant they must have been attached to someone else's lips. Right? CLARK: I would never kiss a woman who didn't look exactly like you.
ER: That’s a very lawyery way to phrase this. CLARK: I was pre-law before I took up journalism. LOIS: /eyes both men suspiciously/
ER: So, she dealt with lawyers before, then, huh? /points to Bender's nephew from college/ LOIS: He wasn't a lawyer, per se, but it was in his blood. Taints the whole line.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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LOIS: I think you're confusing me with a blonde reporter named Linda. I only write the truth. PERRY: And then only when she can prove it to me and a pack of lawyers. LOIS:  MARTHA: We didn't *say* that.
JONATHAN: No. We thought it. But we're nice country folk and don't say such things out loud. Hence the washing of Clark’s mouth with dishsoap whenever he talked about his acquaintances with Lex? LOIS: I was talking real news, not fiction. PEOPLE: We use boring news only for lining bird cages. LOIS: Doctored! Those aren't real photos!
CLARK: Um... isn't that flames coming out that window? Wasn't that the fire Superman put out last week? DIRT DIGGER: “Superman has time for quicky while building is burning next door” PERRY: Sure, I'll have my son Jerry write you out a check. Umm…isn’t it against the law to write checks you know will bounce? CLARK: I know what they are. I meant I don't watch shows with Marvel characters. <tries to keep it a secret that he likes the idea of a female Thor> (things one reads on the internet when one isn’t careful) High def is very important to DVD watchers. SUPERMAN: I swear, Mr. White, WE haven't had sex yet. She can't be pregnant.
PERRY: Yet? What if Dan already knocked her up in that alt-verse? LOIS: <can’t believe the single-mindedness of the people closest to her> Men! Pregnancy isn't the only thing that causes vomiting you know.
SUPERMAN: It isn't? LOIS: No, Kryptonite (the alcoholic beverage) can induce it, too. Right! I like the dogs too. Dogs? Dogs? Are you referring to the unborn puppies they had as a main course during the wedding feast? Or do you mean The Hound? BRAN: ER: Oh, you talking about them direwolves. Yeah, they’re fun. Sadly, they’re quite underrepresented on the show. I’m guessing due to the cost of making an animated wolf the size of a horse. Quote:
Yeah. Although that one is still pretty unfriendly and murderous.
I don't know, I thought Smaug was fun. Sure, not for the Dwarves or the city by the lake, but for us viewers. That’s the same as with Lex, isn’t it? Quote:
EW: Lois isn't getting fat.
ER: Oh, you’re telling us that her clothes getting tighter around her chest-area and waist is not related to chocolates?
LOIS: I plan to go on a new exercise program in a few days.
CLARK: <worried about his ability to withstand the allure of a chestically-enhanced Lois> Simple, you implied that he moves his lips *when they haven't been attached to Lois's*, which meant they must have been attached to someone else's lips. Right? He was *talking*! Someone’s got a singleminded mind. LOIS: What! It’s called jealousy due to pregnancy hormones. It’s perfectly natural. CLARK: For a woman who’s not pregnant? /points to Bender's nephew from college/
LOIS: He wasn't a lawyer, per se, but it was in his blood. Taints the whole line. So, one shouldn’t mention to Lois that Clark had just admitted to having studied the practice of law? Michael
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