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Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found HereSee! I got them talking again.  Comments go here.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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First it was "raped by Luthor" or at least abused by him and now Lois thinks he was raped by a fake Lois. That's even almost true. “Clone,” Lois whispered.
“Excuse me?” Henderson asked with a quick glance towards her.
“Home, please, Inspector. I don’t feel well,” she said, raising her hand to her mouth again.
“When we get there, I’ll call S.T.A.R. Labs and see if they have that blood work completed. Who knows what that man had floating around in his blood?” He grimaced.
“Ask them to check for foreign DNA,” she said.
“What?” Henderson said, taking his eyes off the road once more to look at her.
She held out the scrap of paper in her hand. “‘The greatest glory is not in never falling,’” she read aloud. “‘— but rising every time we fall.’”
His brow furrowed. “What in the hell does that mean?”
“It’s Confucius,” Lois explained. “It means, Lex Luthor isn’t dead. Are they going to root out the real Luthor in time? It's going to be interesting to see what development on this occurs.
CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)
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“Have you seen Superman since, yesterday?” he asked. ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/verschiedene/c050.gif) Found some extra black print in that sentence. so why in the hell had he gone drinking last night of all nights? It’s always the quiet ones…? Let Henderson think Lois was out of sorts with Clark, instead of pained at what he must have suffered, to help keep up his disguise. BILL: Poor Kent. First his girlfriend bones her fiancé while he’s locked up with Kryptonite and then she dumps him when he needs a break. Lois hadn’t thought about it at the time, but why was she interested in some fact that Lois might know about Luthor? So she can do a tell-all article? Had Henderson contacted Cat instead of Lois when Superman was in need of assistance? That made no sense whatsoever, unless Henderson… …thought that Clark and Catherine where doing the horizontal mambo?  She eyed the inspector warily. No, he had just asked if Lois had seen Superman. She could flat out ask him if he knows that Clark Kent is Superman. LOIS: Yes! I mean…umm…  Clark, whom the inspector had been told, spent the last twenty-four hours passed out in an alley and then wandering lost in the city. Then, again, Clark and Lois were known as the two people who seemed to know Superman the best. Maybe Bill thinks that Clark *and* Superman had been out drinking last night together to squash the pain of loosing Lois to Lex? Yes, that made sense, much more sense than Henderson calling on Cat Grant, infamous harlot, to assist Superman when he could clearly not defend himself against her wiles. CAT:  Then, again, not only was Cat now a married woman and expecting, According to popular fiction, that means she’s no longer getting any *and* she’s got to be horny as hell from pregnancy hormones. Not that Clark would ever willingly be interested in Cat in that way. CLARK: She’s just like Rachel! ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/liebe/k040.gif) She should’ve known not to discount Henderson’s intelligence BILL: Lane thinks I’m smarter than her! ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/frech/g042.gif) Just as he didn’t judge anyone he rescued from harm’s way, leaving that up to the justice system. It was one of the reasons she had fallen so hard for him, That he’d always rescue her from precarious spots she got herself into while breaking and entering? He never thought of himself before others.
She frowned. Until Clark insisted that he should go to Las Vegas to recover instead of stay in Metropolis with her. So…her toy’s now broken? She glanced back at the mirror, wondering what Luthor could have been thinking. LEX: Me, Lex. You, Lay. ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/figuren/k075.gif) “I just figured out the date,” she said, rushing down the stairs and across the penthouse living room.
“Do I dare ask?” Awww…the first time Lex showed Superman how he does Lois? Lois rolled her eyes and typed in the number, the date Superman first arrived in Metropolis and foiled a plot of Luthor’s. Right. 1993, not 1994. Also… Ooooooooh! Let me guess… mm-dd-1993? The day Superman showed up? “IDs. Identification. Badges. I’ve dealt with men who’ve impersonated the FBI before, and they turned out to want Superman dead, so now I don’t trust the lot of you,” And she will call the FBI headquarters and verify the badgenumbers and describe the photos of the agents? Translation: We’ve got a crazy broad here. Actually: We’ve got a self-important reporter chick here who’d like to cool her high heels in an interview room down at Bureau Central. Thank you for your assistance, Ms. Lane, but you can now go.”
Lois heard Henderson emit a soft groan from behind her. She could only imagine the facial expression that went with it. Translation: That will be a lot of paperwork, doing the writeup on three FBI goons who died during the investigation of a booby trap. “Just for your information, Agents, you will have to carry me out of here to get me to leave,” Lois said, refusing to budge. “I’ve been investigating Lex Luthor for months and had a deal with the MPD granting me access on any major finds regarding his arrest, especially since it was due to my investigation that you found out that Nightfall was a hoax to begin with.” She does realize that it’s common practice to carry away protesters who chain themselves to immovable objects. LOIS:  Where’s Superman when you need to chain yourself to him… Meanwhile… SUPERMAN: Come on, come on, come on… just one more raspberry and I’ll have all three… SLOT MACHINE: *rrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnggggggg*! “No, that you granted her access?” Forest asked.  Will they arrest him? FOREST: Arrest a local stooge for getting caught in a honeypot? Yeah. Definitely. Lois threw up her free hand, the other remaining on the cracked safe door. “I can still shut this vault. Only I know the code.” Couldn’t they double cross her? “Fine!” Lois snapped, removing her hand from Luthor’s vault, so Henderson and the Special Agents could open it safely. This would be the perfect time to jump Luthor’s little plaything and snap her wrists into cuffs before hauling her off to a federal penitentiary. Henderson, then, pulled out an ornate metal box, and Lois got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. He brought the box into the bright light of Luthor’s office before opening it. Inside were two sizeable chunks of crystal, one red and one green.  Couldn’t Lois say that these her hers? She brought them with her from her last visit to Smallville and had asked her fiancé to keep an eye on them since her apartment was regularly burglered? Did he wonder as she did, if Superman would react the same to the red Kryptonite as he did to the green? Or if, when cut just the right way, the red one would make Superman super horny and lock Lois Lane into her bedroom where he’d then proceed to do…unspeakable things to her? Did Inspector Henderson know that Clark Kent was Superman? BILL: No, I do not know that Clark Kent is Superman. It had a gold chain attached. Awww…Lex made a ball on a chain for his new ball and chain. “It looks as if he was going to give this one to you as a wedding present.” To Superman-proof her! “Guys?” said the ever-quiet Special Agent in charge of photography from behind them. Lois had forgotten his name. “You’re going to want to see this.”  “What did he need that for, if he was going to marry the real deal?” Oooooh! It’s the Lois-face Why would Luthor have created a Halloween mask of her face, she had no idea. To have that one worn by someone whom he trusts more not to bite him during certain…acts? Did he doubt her fidelity? Had Luthor made Clark doubt her love? No, the mask did not cause all the discomfort. SLUTTY LOIS:  This ember ignited into a lava flow of fury. Luthor had better be dancing in the fires of hell or she would hunt down his soul and take him there herself. PETER: Ah, yes, Mr. Luthor, sir. We have been expecting you. Yes, we have received your generous donation, thank you very much, that new church in the former Brazilian rainforest is just lovely. We have your new quarters ready for you, sir. She expected someone like Luthor to spy on her, but her own government? /points at contemporary revelations/ NIA: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/c085.gif) “With numerical codes needed for almost every aspect of his life, I wonder how Luthor was able to keep them all straight in his head.” Maybe he’s a savant? She muttered a word describing the agent that she wouldn’t have dared to use in Clark’s presence. Because he’d have taken a bar of soap to her mouth? Because he wouldn’t want her to kiss him ever again with that mouth? Therefore, he must have taken the elevator from the wine cellar up here.” Hmm…that elevator wouldn’t also be going down into the Arc, would it? Also, this Lois knows about the Arc, right? Will she tell Henderson? “So, he has several elevators leading to different areas of the same floor, and several entrances to his wine cellar. He’s… was a billionaire. The rich are known to be extravagant.” Or maybe it’s another booby trap? You have to use the right elevator on the right day or else you end up a smear on the floor? LEX’s GHOST: I could have *sworn* that was the elevator to take on my wedding day. *Who* changed the sequence? BETSY: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/frech/a050.gif) NIGEL: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/engel/d010.gif) “We also took the elevator in the wine cellar, but it didn’t go up,” Lois finally admitted, knowing she should have probably mentioned Luthor’s bunker the previous day when the police were searching for the man. Ooooooh! “Did it go down to his bomb shelter?” Bomb shelter. Underground mansion. Potato. Potato. (sic) Well, weren’t Cat and the inspector chummy all of a sudden? Maybe she should tell Phil? “If that’s true, why did he go to his penthouse and jump to his death?” Henderson asked, his brow furrowing. ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/a015.gif) We didn’t get Lex’s POV, did we when he was back upstairs at the end? It’s possible that he *did* go down on to Brandy, right? LEX-C: Father *told* me that we are so special, we could fly. Like that flying monkey Mother Lois always puts out for. She brushed the front of her remembering the splatter his death caused. Her stomach churned. Lois’s hand rose to her mouth to try to hide the fact that she felt nauseated. “I don’t know,” she muttered. Say, it is sometime before noon, right? And she’s feeling sick…
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They burst into action, yelling questions at her and sticking microphones in her face. Will she now be using those filthy words she wouldn’t want Clark to hear? JIMMY: Look, C.K.! Lois is on TV! CLARK: Huh? TV-LOIS: Get out of my ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/frech/e020.gif) way you excuses for members of the press. CLARK:  JIMMY:   Someone had the audacity to throw a tomato at her. It missed her, but hit the top of the car, splattering its red guts across her face. Oh dear! SPECTATOR: What? That slut is responsible for me losing my job! LOIS:  She swallowed hard, trying to hold down the bile in her stomach. HENDERSON:  “When we get there, I’ll call S.T.A.R. Labs and see if they have that blood work completed. Who knows what that man had floating around in his blood?” He grimaced.
“Ask them to check for foreign DNA,” she said. She held out the scrap of paper in her hand. “‘The greatest glory is not in never falling,’” she read aloud. “‘— but rising every time we fall.’” “It’s Confucius,” Lois explained. “It means, Lex Luthor isn’t dead.” LOIS: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/liebe/a015.gif) Pulitzer! Also, I’ve gone back and checked out the POV bits you gave us. You little *sneak*! “That was the longest two and half hours I’ve ever spent,” Jimmy said with a grin as they exited the gangplank and entered the Las Vegas airport. Being on a plane with Clark Kent is no fun, huh? JIMMY: CLARK: Next time, I’ll take Lois. At least she’d have wanted to join the Mile High Club. “Oh, my God! Look at that, CK! They have slot machines at the airport.” For the tourists. “The quickest path to ruin is through one of those machines,” Clark said. Oooh! I know that one! "There are three ways to ruin yourself -- gambling, women, and crossing Lex Luthor. Gambling is the fastest. Women are the most pleasurable. Crossing Lex Luthor is the most certain. " CLARK: So…two out of three is not too bad, then, is it? JIMMY: Oh *man*! You’ve got to go for the trifecta, now that you’re in Vegas! “Then hold on to my coins, CK, to keep me from temptation while I go hit the head.” I *think* they have slot machines above the urinals. ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/g060.gif) JIMMY: Look, C.K.! I won! I got those brand new chips for my coins, They’re even still wrapped! Every quarter won! “No, just screening calls. You won’t believe what annoying pests other reporters can be,” she said. As opposed to her? Then, she must have realized how ironic her words were and laughed. “I’m sure you didn’t call to hear me gripe about my career path.” Dorm bike. Slept her way to top reporter. Hooked up with billionaire to get job at TV station. Then wasted it all on a fling with a colleague. “What?” she gasped. “Tonight? I mean, don’t be ridiculous, Chuck. You must be exhausted. I know I’m exhausted, and if you head back tonight, you’ll get in after midnight... So…she plans on sneaking down into the bunker tonight? And when Clark gets back, there won’t be a trace but people will be swearing they hear moaning from the sewers every night, like there’s a porn star trapped down below? I can and probably will survive worse. Like her husband wussing out on their wedding night? LOIS:  Clark Jerome Kent! You get your naked butt back into this bed right. This. Instant! “If you want to know the truth, even if you had invited me to go to Vegas, I couldn’t have gone. The FBI doesn’t want me to leave town, because I’m too important to their case or something.” But she’d have been on the plane instead of meeting with the FBI agents. Clark returned what remained of his friend’s roll of quarters. “So, do you want your fifty dollars in coin or bills?” JIMMY: High Stakes *GAMBLING*! Michael
Last edited by Darth Michael; 08/20/14 05:37 AM. Reason: typo
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Columnist
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At least the ark is on Henderson's radar now. I wonder how long it will be before they open it up.
Lois should swap notes with Cat (of course, lots of things would have gone much smoother if she had swapped notes with her [or anyone] sooner...) about the clone idea, since Cat saw Luthor and the clone in quick succession and dismissed the idea of there being two of them.
"It is a remarkable dichotomy. In many ways, Clark is the most human of us all. Then...he shoots fire from the skies, and it is difficult not to think of him as a god. And how fortunate we all are that it does not occur to him." -Batman (in Superman/Batman #3 by Jeph Loeb)
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Also, I’ve gone back and checked out the POV bits you gave us. You little *sneak*!  Mike
Create all the happiness you are able to create.
Remove all the misery you are able to remove.
Jeremy Bentham
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Christina: My, oh, my. Christina. First it was "raped by Luthor" or at least abused by him and now Lois thinks he was raped by a fake Lois. That's even almost true. CLARK: Luthor did what to me?! ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/n065.gif) LOIS: Luthor did what?!  And here I was thinking that Clark was whipped or beaten or something. And forced to watch a live show of Luthor and someone in a Lois mask. I'll never sleep again with these thoughts in my head. CLARK: You and me both, Minha. EW: That's why one's imagination is often worse than reality. Hmmm. Maybe Lois and Clark do need to talk about this. Are they going to root out the real Luthor in time? It's going to be interesting to see what development on this occurs. Well, it's not as what your imagination put Clark through. CLARK: Phew! Please sleep well tonight, knowing that Lois didn't let her thoughts go that negative, and thank you for your comments.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Darth Michael: Either you're still on holiday, or I've caught your attention to earn myself another two-parter fdk!  Found some extra black print in that sentence. You know, it's really a misnomer that people think I put the TOC link at the top of the FDK link so new readers can find this story. It's really there so I quickly make changes when extra ink falls from the sky. ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/e025.gif) Thank you. It’s always the quiet ones…? I know college was a long time ago, but it seemed as if it were the noisy ones who enjoyed drinking more. BILL: Poor Kent. First his girlfriend bones her fiancé while he’s locked up with Kryptonite and then she dumps him when he needs a break. LOIS: Ooops. So she can do a tell-all article? I doubt Cat would do that to Clark; Lois maybe, but not Clark. Had Henderson contacted Cat instead of Lois when Superman was in need of assistance? That made no sense whatsoever, unless Henderson… …thought that Clark and Catherine where doing the horizontal mambo? CAT: Dancing is a good way to exercise while pregnant. PHIL: It's a good way to get pregnant, too. CAT: Oh, did you get knocked up recently? She could flat out ask him if he knows that Clark Kent is Superman.
LOIS: Yes! I mean…umm… LOIS: Chuck /giggle/ while you were out of town... I might have... ooops... told one or two people that you weren't... absolutely positively without-a-doubt Superman... and... /laughing/ you're going to love this... they didn't believe me. I was being a very good romantic partner and all, denying it but they /snicker/ just couldn't believe I was telling the truth /scoff/ for some reason. Maybe Bill thinks that Clark *and* Superman had been out drinking last night together to squash the pain of loosing Lois to Lex? JIMBO: Funny thing, that sounds somewhat familiar.  Jimmy, what DID we do Saturday night? According to popular fiction, that means she’s no longer getting any *and* she’s got to be horny as hell from pregnancy hormones. Only a bad husband wouldn't give his pregnant wife whatever she wants.  CLARK: She’s just like Rachel! Well, Cat is getting a little more soft around the edges. /ducking/ BILL: Lane thinks I’m smarter than her! Hmmm. Are you sure that's the right smilie? Didn't you mean this one? ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/liebe/s045.gif) That he’d always rescue her from precarious spots she got herself into while breaking and entering? Aiding and Abetting is the way to a woman's heart. LOIS:  Die! Lex, Die! LEX: Me, Lex. You, Lay. LOIS: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/k015.gif) No, Lex. You, Lex. Me, *Lane*. Neanderthal. Forget this, Kent's smarter than you *and* has a chest. Awww…the first time Lex showed Superman how he does Lois? Um... no, that would be... um... in 1994. Right. 1993, not 1994. Also… Ooooooooh!
Previous FDK ER: Let me guess… mm-dd-1993? The day Superman showed up? Well, I couldn't TELL you were right then. It ruins the whole surprise! /slips Darth Michael two more points/ And she will call the FBI headquarters and verify the badgenumbers and describe the photos of the agents? LOIS: Um... no? Actually: We’ve got a self-important reporter chick here who’d like to cool her high heels in an interview room down at Bureau Central. LOIS: No, that's Cat Grant. Translation: That will be a lot of paperwork, doing the writeup on three FBI goons who died during the investigation of a booby trap. LOIS: Exactly *whom* are you calling a 'booby trap', Inspector? ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/boese/e035.gif) She does realize that it’s common practice to carry away protesters who chain themselves to immovable objects. FOREST: She was sprayed with Luthor's blood. You pick her up. WALKER: Eh. Gross. No, you do it. It was your idea, man. LOIS: /razz/ Where’s Superman when you need to chain yourself to him…
Meanwhile…
SUPERMAN: Come on, come on, come on… just one more raspberry and I’ll have all three…
SLOT MACHINE: *rrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnggggggg*!  Also, not very tree-like at the moment. CLARK: Hey! That's not nice. Will they arrest him?
FOREST: Arrest a local stooge for getting caught in a honeypot? Yeah. Definitely. HENDERSON: Slander! Couldn’t they double cross her? The FBI? Nah. They're the good guys! /bats eyelashes innocently/ This would be the perfect time to jump Luthor’s little plaything and snap her wrists into cuffs before hauling her off to a federal penitentiary. HENDERSON: I warned them that not only does she have acid for blood and spit, but she's a good friend of Mr. Invulnerable, but *did* they listen? Nooooooo! Couldn’t Lois say that these her hers? She brought them with her from her last visit to Smallville and had asked her fiancé to keep an eye on them since her apartment was regularly burglered? And they would believe her, why? Or if, when cut just the right way, the red one would make Superman super horny and lock Lois Lane into her bedroom where he’d then proceed to do…unspeakable things to her? LOIS: Why, yes, Dr. Klein, I'm willing to sacrifice myself to test the red rock with Superman. If there is no other way... BILL: No, I do not know that Clark Kent is Superman. BILL: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/e015.gif) It had a gold chain attached. Awww…Lex made a ball on a chain for his new ball and chain.  but no. That's how Mrs. Cox hid it from Superman between her... CLARK: I *can't* tell Lois that I didn't even peek. What will she think of me. If I had, then I'd know that wasn't her chest... um... jewelry. Yes, necklace, that's what I mean to say.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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*** Continuation of Response to Darth Michael's FDK ***“It looks as if he was going to give this one to you as a wedding present.” /excited/ To Superman-proof her! LOIS: How else will I get him to stay put during our honeymoon? Now, put it back into the box and give it to me. Oooooh! It’s the Lois-face What else did you think they found? To have that one worn by someone whom he trusts more not to bite him during certain…acts? LOIS: /looks blank/ A sewer rat? No, the mask did not cause all the discomfort.
SLUTTY LOIS: /wave/ MRS. COX: Ew, Lexy, I got a rash for that horrible thing. PETER: Ah, yes, Mr. Luthor, sir. We have been expecting you. Yes, we have received your generous donation, thank you very much, that new church in the former Brazilian rainforest is just lovely. We have your new quarters ready for you, sir. CARLOS: My church and orphanage are very old and not supplied by some rich gringo! How dare you suggest such a thing! /points at contemporary revelations/
NIA: /blushes modestly/ I think you meant: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/figuren/g045.gif) /I was looking for monkeys; it would have worked better./ LEX: 997 women. That's an odd number. It really should be a even number. Nigel! Send in 3 more women! Because he’d have taken a bar of soap to her mouth? Because he wouldn’t want her to kiss him ever again with that mouth? She doesn't want to find out. Hmm…that elevator wouldn’t also be going down into the Arc, would it? Also, this Lois knows about the Arc, right? Will she tell Henderson? Yeah, about 100 parts ago, she went on a little ride with Lex in that elevator. Or maybe it’s another booby trap? You have to use the right elevator on the right day or else you end up a smear on the floor? LEX’s GHOST: I could have *sworn* that was the elevator to take on my wedding day. *Who* changed the sequence? BETSY: NIGEL: LUCky CLEANING CREW: Darn. This locked door is leaking red dye *again*. I wish Mr. St. John would just give me the key, so I could clean it up properly from inside. Bomb shelter. Underground mansion. Potato. Potato. (sic) LOIS: But Luthor can't survive without servants or minions! You must send someone down there right away! Maybe she should tell Phil? LOIS: We didn’t get Lex’s POV, did we when he was back upstairs at the end? It’s possible that he *did* go down on to Brandy, right?
LEX-C: Father *told* me that we are so special, we could fly. Like that flying monkey Mother Lois always puts out for. No, you didn't get a Lex POV since he took the elevator down after finding Superman had escaped. Say, it is sometime before noon, right? And she’s feeling sick… Morning sickness really doesn't have anything to do with the time of day. Will she now be using those filthy words she wouldn’t want Clark to hear? JIMMY: Look, C.K.! Lois is on TV! CLARK: Huh? TV-LOIS: Get out of my way you excuses for members of the press. CLARK: JIMMY: CLARK: I never should have left. She's gone insane. JIMMY: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/k020.gif) Um... sure. That's it. I'm sure she's *never* acted like that before in her life. /cough/ since meeting you /cough/ Oh dear!
SPECTATOR: What? That slut is responsible for me losing my job!
LOIS: /sick/ LOIS: I thought Mrs. Cox was in jail. She swallowed hard, trying to hold down the bile in her stomach. HENDERSON: /worries about his car/ BILL: I just had it detailed! She held out the scrap of paper in her hand. “‘The greatest glory is not in never falling,’” she read aloud. “‘— but rising every time we fall.’” /shocked that the EW held on to that wonderful quote for so long/ Yeah. It's perfect for Lex, isn't it? I found that about a year... year and a half ago and I've been building towards it since then. Possibly. Also, I’ve gone back and checked out the POV bits you gave us. You little *sneak*! Awww. Gee, thanks, Michael. Someone did warn me that I'd been dropping too many hints lately.  Being on a plane with Clark Kent is no fun, huh?
JIMMY: /help/
CLARK: Next time, I’ll take Lois. At least she’d have wanted to join the Mile High Club. JIMMY: Really, CK, you don't have to follow me every time I need to use the can. Really, I figured it was for the gamblers. Oooh! I know that one!
"There are three ways to ruin yourself -- gambling, women, and
technology. Gambling is the fastest. Women are the most
pleasurable. Crossing Lex Luthor is the most certain. "
CLARK: So…two out of three is not too bad, then, is it?
JIMMY: Oh *man*! You’ve got to go for the trifecta, now that you’re in Vegas! I'm sorry, how is crossing Luthor "technology"? I *think* they have slot machines above the urinals. /Potato - Tomato /
JIMMY: Look, C.K.! I won! I got those brand new chips for my coins, They’re even still wrapped! Every quarter won! You only win if you get a chance to UNwrap them, Jimmy. Dorm bike. Slept her way to top reporter. Hooked up with billionaire to get job at TV station. Then wasted it all on a fling with a colleague. But a colleague who will fly her to Tahiti. So…she plans on sneaking down into the bunker tonight? And when Clark gets back, there won’t be a trace but people will be swearing they hear moaning from the sewers every night, like there’s a porn star trapped down below? Hmmm. Interesting theory. Like her husband wussing out on their wedding night?
LOIS: /mad/ Clark Jerome Kent! You get your naked butt back into this bed right. This. Instant! No, no. It was LOIS who said she could survive worse, not Clark. CLARK: Man, I'm so not surviving that scenario. LOIS: See, you can teach a lunkhead new tricks. But she’d have been on the plane instead of meeting with the FBI agents. Hence why Clark doesn't really believe her. JIMMY: High Stakes *GAMBLING*! (After first spin of Roulette wheel) JIMMY: What do you mean RED! I bet it all on Black. /sigh/ Nickel slots, CK? Thanks for the giggles!
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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mrsMxyzptlk: Thanks for commenting! At least the ark is on Henderson's radar now. I wonder how long it will be before they open it up. Good question. EW: /glances over at her WORD program/ With me, there's really no telling. ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/e030.gif) Lois should swap notes with Cat (of course, lots of things would have gone much smoother if she had swapped notes with her [or anyone] sooner...) about the clone idea, since Cat saw Luthor and the clone in quick succession and dismissed the idea of there being two of them. Yes, this is a comedy of mis-communication. How short a story this would have been if all those communication experts *talked* to one another? Where would be the fun in that?! /oh, right, we would have skipped a bunch of this angsty drama and dove right into relationship slapstick fun/ CLARK: Lois, what are you doing with that green bat? Mike M: Thanks for letting me know that you're still reading... at least Darth Michael's FDK highlights. Hmmmm. I wonder what this soap opera would look like if you only read what Michael quoted and not the whole story? ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/verschiedene/b075.gif) It sure would give you a completely different view of this story. No, best not to try that experiment. Especially, since most of his pre-conversion FDK refused to be converted. Just teasing you. Thank you for reading.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Either you're still on holiday, or I've caught your attention to earn myself another two-parter fdk! ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/s045.gif) Umm…I think I know how Clark feels when Lois asks him a question… It's really there so I quickly make changes when extra ink falls from the sky. Quote:
It’s always the quiet ones…?
I know college was a long time ago, but it seemed as if it were the noisy ones who enjoyed drinking more. No, was referring to those who suddenly go wild without giving any prior indication. Quote:
BILL: Poor Kent. First his girlfriend bones her fiancé while he’s locked up with Kryptonite and then she dumps him when he needs a break.
LOIS: Ooops. You do realize that this now looks like Lois feels guilty of precisely that course of action, right? CAT: Dancing is a good way to exercise while pregnant.
PHIL: It's a good way to get pregnant, too.
CAT: Oh, did you get knocked up recently? I was being a very good romantic partner and all, denying it but they /snicker/ just couldn't believe I was telling the truth /scoff/ for some reason. PEOPLE: Well, we all know that Lane has the hots for Blue Steel. Why would we believe she’s suddenly boning her partner instead of Superman? Only a bad husband wouldn't give his pregnant wife whatever she wants. PHIL: But I was *bonding* with my brothers in law! Quote:
CLARK: She’s just like Rachel!
Well, Cat is getting a little more soft around the edges. /ducking/ So, do they call this ‘babyproofing the mother’? Hmmm. Are you sure that's the right smilie? Didn't you mean this one? <Bill is in rainbow love> Well, I couldn't TELL you were right then. It ruins the whole surprise! /slips Darth Michael two more points/ Quote:
And she will call the FBI headquarters and verify the badgenumbers and describe the photos of the agents?
LOIS: Um... no? LOIS: Exactly *whom* are you calling a 'booby trap', Inspector? Umm…the honeypot? Mrs. HENDERSON: He *is* seen with quite the number of younger women who dress rather provocatively…. And they would believe her, why? Maybe the nice local artist in Smallville would vouch for Lois buying them in her little crafts shop/living room? LOIS: Why, yes, Dr. Klein, I'm willing to sacrifice myself to test the red rock with Superman. If there is no other way... CLARK: I *can't* tell Lois that I didn't even peek. What will she think of me. LOIS: How else will I get him to stay put during our honeymoon? Now, put it back into the box and give it to me. What else did you think they found?  LOIS: /looks blank/ A sewer rat? CARLOS: My church and orphanage are very old and not supplied by some rich gringo! How dare you suggest such a thing! I was referring to the new one they set up in the middle of the recently deforested 100 square miles of former rainforest where they’re now building a mining town. /I was looking for monkeys; it would have worked better./ LEX: 997 women. That's an odd number. It really should be a even number. Nigel! Send in 3 more women! LOIS: But Luthor can't survive without servants or minions! You must send someone down there right away! Awwww…now that she’s seen her thoughtful wedding bed, she suddenly realized what she’s lost in not marrying Lex! LOIS: Crabs? No, you didn't get a Lex POV since he took the elevator down after finding Superman had escaped. Morning sickness really doesn't have anything to do with the time of day. Yes, but the word-play wouldn’t work as well if you said ‘It’s sometime during the day, right? And she’s feeling sick…’ That's it. I'm sure she's *never* acted like that before in her life. /cough/ since meeting you /cough/ So…Lois is actually in withdrawal? LOIS: I thought Mrs. Cox was in jail. It's perfect for Lex, isn't it? I found that about a year... year and a half ago and I've been building towards it since then. Someone did warn me that I'd been dropping too many hints lately. Great. No I also need to check for things that are *not* mentioned. Hmm… JIMMY: Really, CK, you don't have to follow me every time I need to use the can. That torture room really did a number on him, huh? Oooh! I know that one!
"There are three ways to ruin yourself -- gambling, women, and
technology crossing Lex Luthor. Gambling is the fastest. Women are the most
pleasurable. Crossing Lex Luthor is the most certain. "
CLARK: So…two out of three is not too bad, then, is it?
JIMMY: Oh *man*! You’ve got to go for the trifecta, now that you’re in Vegas! I'm sorry, how is crossing Luthor "technology"? Drat. Missed one ‘technology’… You only win if you get a chance to UNwrap them, Jimmy. But a colleague who will fly her to Tahiti. Funny how the rest was not discounted… No, no. It was LOIS who said she could survive worse, not Clark.
CLARK: Man, I'm so not surviving that scenario.
LOIS: See, you can teach a lunkhead new tricks. Thanks for letting me know that you're still reading... at least Darth Michael's FDK highlights. Oooops? It sure would give you a completely different view of this story. Oh boy. Michael
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Umm…I think I know how Clark feels when Lois asks him a question… I'll try to control myself. No, was referring to those who suddenly go wild without giving any prior indication. Like Raj they need to alcohol to speak to women? You do realize that this now looks like Lois feels guilty of precisely that course of action, right? Lois doesn't feel guilt. LEX: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/liebe/n010.gif) I knew it wasn't just because I was sprayed by Revenge. PEOPLE: Well, we all know that Lane has the hots for Blue Steel. Why would we believe she’s suddenly boning her partner instead of Superman? LOIS: Because Superman has the body of a muscle bound Ken doll. Literally. CLARK: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/a050.gif) So, do they call this ‘babyproofing the mother’? I'm sure the kid appreciates a nice soft body to cuddle with after it's born, then something bony and hard. HENDERSON: Slander!
Mrs. HENDERSON: He *is* seen with quite the number of younger women who dress rather provocatively…. BILL: I'm *arresting* them! Maybe the nice local artist in Smallville would vouch for Lois buying them in her little crafts shop/living room? Sadly, Martha has been too busy plowing fields for her husband to get into art. I was referring to the new one they set up in the middle of the recently deforested 100 square miles of former rainforest where they’re now building a mining town. Oh. Yep, that sounds like modernization to me. Awwww…now that she’s seen her thoughtful wedding bed, she suddenly realized what she’s lost in not marrying Lex!
LOIS: Crabs? S.T.A.R. Labs Scientist: Our test results aren't quite done yet, Ms. Lane. Yes, but the word-play wouldn’t work as well if you said ‘It’s sometime during the day, right? And she’s feeling sick…’ True. I'd like to see a story (maybe I did write this in Missing Lois -- can't remember) where the woman says, "it's not 'morning sickness' cause I feel like crap all day long!" So…Lois is actually in withdrawal? Anything is possible. Great. No(w) I also need to check for things that are *not* mentioned. Hmm… That torture room really did a number on him, huh? CLARK: But *he* doesn't look anything like that woman who looked like Lois who Luthor was... /shudders/... either. Drat. Missed one ‘technology’… Now it makes sense.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Quote:
No, was referring to those who suddenly go wild without giving any prior indication.
Like Raj they need to alcohol to speak to women? Lois doesn't feel guilt.
LEX: <over the moon in his love for a socialclimbing sociopath> I knew it wasn't just because I was sprayed by Revenge. LOIS: Because Superman has the body of a muscle bound Ken doll. Literally.
CLARK: <realizes he’s not made the best point for himself> ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/teufel/d075.gif) I'm sure the kid appreciates a nice soft body to cuddle with after it's born, then something bony and hard. LEX: Why Lois will have a wetnurse and a personal nutrition specialist. And a personal hairdresser with amputated hands. BILL: I'm *arresting* them! SUPERMAN: That’s what the cops in my dimension always said. True. I'd like to see a story (maybe I did write this in Missing Lois -- can't remember) where the woman says, "it's not 'morning sickness' cause I feel like crap all day long!" To prepare for the endless happy times once the little once actually born? CLARK: But *he* doesn't look anything like that woman who looked like Lois who Luthor was... /shudders/... either. I think the word he’s looking for is ‘making love to’? Michael
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LEX: Why Lois will have a wetnurse and a personal nutrition specialist. And a personal hairdresser with amputated hands. Okay, that's just... what? BILL: I'm *arresting* them!
SUPERMAN: That’s what the cops in my dimension always said. BILL: You've been spending too much time with Lane. To prepare for the endless happy times once the little one actually born? To get you used to not eating hot meals for the next 5 years? I think the word he’s looking for is ‘making love to’? Uh... no.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally Posted By: Darth Michael
LEX: Why Lois will have a wetnurse and a personal nutrition specialist. And a personal hairdresser with amputated hands.
Okay, that's just... what? So she stays in shape and won’t cut her hair? Quote:
BILL: I'm *arresting* them!
SUPERMAN: That’s what the cops in my dimension always said.
BILL: wallbash You've been spending too much time with Lane. SUPERMAN: ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/c075.gif) No. That’s not it. I’m not spending a non-appropriate amount of time with my erm Clark’s girlfriend. Quote:
To prepare for the endless happy times once the little one actually born?
To get you used to not eating hot meals for the next 5 years? Quote:
I think the word he’s looking for is ‘making love to’?
Uh... no. It was worth a try? LOIS: No. It’s *not* worth trying. Michael
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LEX: Why Lois will have a wetnurse and a personal nutrition specialist. And a personal hairdresser with amputated hands.
EW: Okay, that's just... what?
ER: So she stays in shape and won’t cut her hair? Then why have a hairdresser at all? BILL: I'm *arresting* them! SUPERMAN: That’s what the cops in my dimension always said. BILL: wallbash You've been spending too much time with Lane. SUPERMAN: No. That’s not it. I’m not spending a non-appropriate amount of time with my erm Clark’s girlfriend. ER: I think the word he’s looking for is ‘making love to’?
EW: Uh... no.
ER: It was worth a try?
LOIS: No. It’s *not* worth trying. Doesn't Lex need to know how to love before making love? LEX: I love how I feel? HENDERSON: You have the right to remain silent and I sure hope you do so.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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ER: So she stays in shape and won’t cut her hair?
EW: Then why have a hairdresser at all? Because it’s…appropriate for a lady in her standing? Plus, that way Lex gets to have a guy’s hands amputated. Doesn't Lex need to know how to love before making love?
LEX: I love how I feel?
HENDERSON: You have the right to remain silent and I sure hope you do so. Because Lex doesn’t want more paperwork for a deceased prime suspect? Michael
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ER: So she stays in shape and won’t cut her hair?
EW: Then why have a hairdresser at all?
ER: Because it’s…appropriate for a lady in her standing? Plus, that way Lex gets to have a guy’s hands amputated. I really think Lex needs some therapy. Also, how will the hairdresser wash Lois's hair and style it for fancy functions without hands? Perhaps you should have Lex take other unnecessary body parts instead... say 'feet'? Doesn't Lex need to know how to love before making love?
LEX: I love how I feel?
HENDERSON: You have the right to remain silent and I sure hope you do so.
ER: Because Lex doesn’t want more paperwork for a deceased prime suspect? I'm sure you mean Henderson, not Lex. Lex doesn't fill out paperwork. He has people for that.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Oh, look! Old FDK FDK FDK FDK FDK… Also, how will the hairdresser wash Lois's hair and style it for fancy functions without hands? Maybe Lex doesn’t let her out to attend fancy functions? Maybe he uses disposable clones for that? Perhaps you should have Lex take other unnecessary body parts instead... say 'feet'? Yes, ‘feet’. Or things who size is often related to the feet. I'm sure you mean Henderson, not Lex. Lex doesn't fill out paperwork. He has people for that. Michael
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