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Morgana Offline OP
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So this is how it ends! The identity of our Unexpected Visitor is revealed. Don't be mad at me, I couldn't help tossing in all those red herrings. It wasn't Ching! peep

There will be an epilogue!

Last edited by Morgana; 08/11/14 09:54 PM.

Morgana

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This was a great story. I suspected it was Jor-El, but you threw in enough red herrings that I wasn't sure. Good job!


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Morgana Offline OP
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AnnieB wrote:

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This was a great story. I suspected it was Jor-El, but you threw in enough red herrings that I wasn't sure. Good job!

Glad you liked the final result. The reasons why Jor-El didn't go after him? What did you think of Clark's Stepmother? The interaction between Lex and Jor-El?

Would love to know!


Morgana

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I read your story ad I liked how it all turned out. I would love an epilogue of the meeting of Jor El and his son. Nice job. Thanks. Laura


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That was certainly not who I was suspecting it to be! Well done.

Jor-El is so inscrutable in the messages we see in “The Foundling” that it’s hard to tell what kind of person he is, other than his determination to save Kal-El. I wish we’d learned more about him in the series. Your story is an interesting take.

I love the bit about Krypton not exploding for another ten years.

Jor-El: Lara, at least we’re together, at the end.
Krypton: LOL JK
Lara: Well, that was awkward.

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Lex's voice and characterization were excellently done. It was nice to see Jimmy get a byline, too. smile

I was definitely thrown through a loop. I wasn't expecting that twist at all. The visitor's back story was a bit difficult and confusing to follow, especially with all those names tossed out. At first, I couldn't see how it related to Clark and Lois. It's so sad that Lara and Jor-El had sent Kal-El away for apparently, no good reason. I'm glad that they hadn't bolted off to Earth and spirited him away from the Kents.

When Jor-El was thinking over what happened on Krypton, I thought he was telling it to Lex, not just thinking it over. I must have missed some line of transition from dialogue to contemplative thought somewhere. It became obvious, when he returned to talking to Lex though.

I did like Lex's transportation to New Krypton (or their ship) for trial. A just punishment, indeed. clap The great thing about it was even though he tried to bribe Jor-El, we all knew that Lex had nothing that Jor-El wanted except his own death. Lex shaking in his shoes at the thought of having angered a Kryptonian without the kindness of Superman. Well done!

Also, is this code:
Quote
≈
supposed to mean something? Because it brought me out of the story the three or four times it came up. It didn't seem to indicate a scene break or anything else I could think of. Just random gibberish tossed in at intervals to interrupt the scene for no reason. I believe it came up in an earlier part as well, but at that time I had discounted it as a typo.

The definition of
Quote
moonround**
was made clear by the context, and I don't think needed the ** to bring me out of the story. It made me stop and think why they were there. I was left wondering if there a missing word or something. I recommend removing the ** in the Archive version, and just putting a definition at the end for anyone who couldn't catch it in context. It isn't as if the reader can easily glance down and see a footnote while reading online as one can in paper volume. Same with the * for the characters borrowed from the novel. Include them with the disclaimer at the end, so it doesn't disrupt the reader during the story.

Yes, please post an epilogue. I would like to see Clark's expression when he learns that he was a) abandoned without good cause, and b) that he has a brother, and half-brothers and sisters. I'm sure he'll forgive Jor-El, being that his life turned out quite well.


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Originally Posted by Morgana
AnnieB wrote:

Quote
This was a great story. I suspected it was Jor-El, but you threw in enough red herrings that I wasn't sure. Good job!

Glad you liked the final result. The reasons why Jor-El didn't go after him? What did you think of Clark's Stepmother? The interaction between Lex and Jor-El?

Would love to know!
Jor-El's reason for not going after Clark makes sense -- the needs of the many outweigh the wishes of the few (something I'm sure Clark would agree with). Fortunately for Clark, he wound up in a good place, with loving parents who helped him become a great hero.

Josca reminds me of Lois -- strong and determined, and definitely not docile!

Lex Luthor finally met someone who could (and would) outmaneuver him! Superman could have removed Lex from the equation easily, but he doesn't kill, and Lex has too much influence for the courts to stop him.

Quote
Realizing the fatal blow had not stuck him, the look of shock on Lex’s face twisted into an arrogant mask of disgust. “Just like your son – too spineless to take a life!”
Stupid, Lex -- really stupid (especially since Jor-El has admitted that he has, in fact, killed).

I look forward to reading the Epilogue and seeing how Clark reacts to his father, stepmother, and the knowledge that he has siblings.


"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”

- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
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Part 3. Hopefully some or all my questions will be answered. If not, there better be some more stories to deal with them. wildguy

Quote
Soon the media exposure of his secret identity
What! Lex means to expose him. When it became clear that Lex knew the secret, but hadn't already exposed him, I was thinking that he just wanted to use the information to his own advantage. But now ... someone better take him out quick, before he does expose Clark.

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He needed to do something about *Bernard* very soon.
No not Bernie!!! This visitor, who I think is on the way to see Lex, and who I think is also military minded, better take Lex out!!!!

Quote
a high price to pay for marrying that insufferable giblet.
Strange, that Lex still thinks of Clark as a 'giblet' even though he knows that Clark is Superman.

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As the terrace door slid closed he felt a puff of wind move past and it gave him a slight chill.
The Kryptonian whooshing past?

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the lead scientist in my field,
One instinct, which I ignored in part 2 due to lack of evidence, returns at this. Is it Jor El?

Quote
Yet sadly only minutes *after* the tiny craft had cleared Krypton’s atmosphere the massive tremors ceased and the planet was silent once more.
Hmm, it's even more possible. Krypton survived past Kal El's departure!

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The final death tremors did not occur again for another ten years
shock So, Jor El and Lara could easily have left for New Krypton and are now here for their son.

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Sadly five years after his birth, the First Lady of New Krypton died from massive injuries sustained during an accident while driving a harvesting machine
mecry So only Jor El has come for Kal El then.

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watched as a solitary black curl of acrid smoke ascended as the cassette imploded and fused into a pile of charred, blackened plastic.
dance Yay.

Quote
“Come Mr. Luthor, it is time for you to stand trial.”
Yeah!

Wow. So many bits I could have quoted. But I'm glad that Lex will be dealt with by the Kryptonians.

Loved it. Will you be showing us Jor El again? Will we get to see him introduce himself to his son?


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Lois: "You put up with me for the same reason I put up with you. It's because I'm completely in love with you."
Clark: "And I love you ... Did we just make up?"
Lois: "I think so."
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Wow! Great! All these thoughtful comments have been very encouraging indeed.

AnnieB

Thank you so much for the additional comments, I really wanted the readers to see a very different world from canon, one where at least one of Kal-El's parents survived.

Quote
or-El's reason for not going after Clark makes sense -- the needs of the many outweigh the wishes of the few (something I'm sure Clark would agree with). Fortunately for Clark, he wound up in a good place, with loving parents who helped him become a great hero.

Its not like he and Lara didn't want to board the next ship heading for Earth! But, they were honor bound to help their people. A fine quality their son inherited from them.

Quote
Josca reminds me of Lois -- strong and determined, and definitely not docile!

Most definitely not docile. She helped to keep him on the path of peace not war.

Quote
Stupid, Lex -- really stupid (especially since Jor-El has admitted that he has, in fact, killed).

Yes, Lex was very foolish, the only thing that saved him is that Jor-El had already spilled enough blood and was now on another road.


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Glad that there'll be an epilogue. Since the first time I read this story I always felt this was not "the end". Now we will be able to see Clark's reaction when he meets his presumed dead father and new siblings! hyper Just sad for Lara. Clark would have been very happy if he could meet his mother. mecry But he will know that he still has a Kryptonian family and, more surprising yet, a brother and sister. It'll be really, really unexpected for him. smile

Andreia


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To the public their union would become a living symbol of unity, integrity and strength.
[Linked Image]

Quote
Privately he and sweet, delectable Lois would have shared tantalizing, intimate pleasures beyond either of their wildest imagination.
LOIS: Why would I ever want to imagine such a thing?

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Come to think of it, the good doctor had interfered on that occasion as well. He needed to do something about *Bernard* very soon.
Yes. First take out the physicians and the body guards, then shoot the real target.

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Lex would have cheerfully paid twice that much to have such proof of the alien’s true identity.
Because he’d not actually live to get the money?

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the story of the century would be broken by LNN’s ‘Morning with Metropolis’ reporter Linda King. Another sweet little bit of irony he arranged for dear Lois’ sake.
laugh I wonder how the tape will fare against Kryptonian heat vision…

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Sadly five years after his birth, the First Lady of New Krypton died from massive injuries sustained during an accident while driving a harvesting machine.
Huh. Is that actually Jor-El? Also, that’s why ruling families are not allowed to operate farming equipment.

Quote
They felt he needed to marry someone similar to his first wife, only more docile - a fitting model for other wives on New Krypton to emulate. Of late their taste for independence had deepened. If the First Lady of New Krypton was submissive, the other ladies would fall in line.
rotflol

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Later he approached Jen-Mai privately and informed him, “Should you ever consider Josca as a ‘concubine’ again … it will be the last time.”
Because Jen-Mai would lose his manly…vigor?

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Unfortunately since he had become one of Nor’s followers, Jen-Mai also paid the ultimate price for his treachery.
Why unfortunate?

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The visitor broke free of his deep thoughts and said to Lex, “If you are an example of this world’s nobility, it is no wonder he is needed here.”
No, he’s just an upstart.

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But due to his ethics and current physical condition, Kal-El is powerless to fight you; thus as is my right, I must do it for him.”
So, Lex now gets to contend with an El who does not share the same moral obligations as a Kansan farmboy?.

Quote
Lex looked at the VHS cartridge and before he could grab it, watched as a solitary black curl of acrid smoke ascended as the cassette imploded and fused into a pile of charred, blackened plastic.
Look at that. Apparently, VHS tape does not hold up to Kryptonian heat vision. Too bad Lex wasn’t holding it at the time, so it could melt around his hand evil

Quote
“Before I can reveal myself to Kal-El, *any* threat to his family must be neutralized.”
Neutralized? Might he also get neutered? They used to do that during handing, drawing, and quartering.

Quote
“Surely there is something I can do to alter your … decision?” Lex said, trying to maintain his dignity.
Look, Lex is trying to barter with the ruler of an entire world. Isn’t he adorable!

Quote
Realizing the fatal blow had not stuck him, the look of shock on Lex’s face twisted into an arrogant mask of disgust. “Just like your son – too spineless to take a life!”
I wonder if Lex will be soiling his britches before the day is over.

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If the council finds him innocent he will return with us to New Krypton.
Innocent? *Innocent*? confused

Quote
The End
Ooooh! That was fun. Quite different from what I expected. But lots of fun! clap

wave Michael


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Originally Posted by VirginiaR
Also, is this code:
Quote
≈
supposed to mean something? Because it brought me out of the story the three or four times it came up. It didn't seem to indicate a scene break or anything else I could think of. Just random gibberish tossed in at intervals to interrupt the scene for no reason. I believe it came up in an earlier part as well, but at that time I had discounted it as a typo.
Virginia, this should have been the wavey-equals-sign ("approximately", or two ~ stacked upon one another) but either the copy&paste didn't work for Morgana or the board is not properly processing them. Either way, the HTML-code for the character got printed out on the page instead of the actual character huh

wave Michael


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Originally Posted by Darth Michael
Virginia, this should have been the wavey-equals-sign ("approximately", or two ~ stacked upon one another) but either the copy&paste didn't work for Morgana or the board is not properly processing them. Either way, the HTML-code for the character got printed out on the page instead of the actual character huh
Thanks for the explanation, Michael. That would have been less jarring than a random (to us html deficient) strew of letters, numbers, and symbols. Although, a part of me wondered why they were necessary in the first place, since there didn't seem to be a rhyme or reason for them. Morgana, were the wavy lines supposed to represent flashback or inner monologue or what? huh


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Morgana Offline OP
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It's time to offer feedback to those who wrote such cool comments!

Laurach:

Thank you very much for taking time out to write a heartfelt comment. It made me smile, especially knowing the challenges life has thrown against you. Thanks again and take care of yourself.

Yes there will be an epilogue!

Last edited by Morgana; 08/14/14 06:37 PM.

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I really liked the talk between Jor-El and Lex Luthor. It's kind of nice to see that for once Luthor won't get away. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to face a Kryptonian trial, knowing what they do with alleged traitors. wink


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DebbieG

So glad this took you and everyone else by surprise! People don't expect Clark's parents to show up in anything. Playing on this AU and changing everything around so that Noe never lived to interfere with Clark and Lois was important to me! wink


Morgana

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VirginiaR and Darth Michael

When I posted part three I looked those marks over to make sure they were correct. Unfortunately afterwards, they changed. I went back and changed it to the proper symbol ...twice. I think the third time it finally stuck. Sorry for the confusion!

Last edited by Morgana; 08/18/14 07:41 AM.

Morgana

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VirginiaR

Quote
Yes, please post an epilogue. I would like to see Clark's expression when he learns that he was a) abandoned without good cause, and b) that he has a brother, and half-brothers and sisters. I'm sure he'll forgive Jor-El, being that his life turned out quite well.

Sorry its taken so long to get back to you. RL has been rather brisk lately.

A) Clark was not abandoned without good cause, at the time Jor-El launched his son's tiny ship it truly seemed as if the destruction of Krypton was only minutes away. If Jor-El could have safely returned the ship he would have done so. The narrative makes it pretty clear that he (and Lara) suffered for that decision for years afterwards.

B) Once father and son meet they will be happy to set aside any need for forgiveness and learn about each other.

Last edited by Morgana; 08/18/14 07:40 AM.

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Bakasi

Quote
I really liked the talk between Jor-El and Lex Luthor. It's kind of nice to see that for once Luthor won't get away. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to face a Kryptonian trial, knowing what they do with alleged traitors.

Thanks for the feedback! Your writing is always a pleasure to read!

No, Lex will absolutely not get away from justice this time! In this AU, Mr. Luthor will be gone for good. In the epilogue there will be another surprise guest star who will be taking over the reins of LexCorp.

Last edited by Morgana; 08/18/14 07:51 AM.

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To one and all:

The epilogue will be posted soon. But as we all know, this is the end of summer and lots of RL activities are coming up consuming chunks of time.

I promise this; it will not take months! grin


Morgana

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