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KenJ Offline OP
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Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
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Ok. This was a great entry, full of humor and lots of science, which I appreciated to no end. Dr Klein usually gets so bogged down with techno babble he loses me, but this guy Ferguson made everything easy! Kudos.

That receptionist really put her life in her hands by making that crack about Lois getting her perfume from Cost-Mart. In the first season Lois clothes were of inferior quantity, but by the second season she (and everybody else) was dressing much better.

The scene might have had greater impact if you described how Denise looked.

Next?


Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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KenJ Offline OP
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Hi Morgana,

Thanks for the FDK!

I have to admit, I love writing comedy. There are some scenes that are so-so in the script and could go either way. Many of them I am adding a comedic twist.

In this case, there was no visit to STAR Labs in the episode. It was all an add on.

I also love writing the science stuff. This is my particular field. I spent about 15 years doing Analytical Chemistry. I've done a lot of Gas Chromotogaphy, but the UV, UV Flourescence, IR and FTIR was my particular field. I had some help from Artemis on NMR. One of my buddies ran that lab, but I didn't get that far into it.

Thanks for the suggestion about Denise, the receptionist. I may dress her for the final archive version.

Last edited by KenJ; 07/23/14 12:36 PM.

Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
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Oops! Forgot to add this comment:

Quote
Lois advised, "Fight for her, Chief."

Clark added, "Shower her with presents. Write her poems. Put her on a golden pedestal. Tell her you worship her."

Perry thought about this advice and his continence brightened, briefly, then he sagged in his seat and said, "She'll never buy it."

Clark encouraged him, "Come on, Chief. What have you got to lose by trying? Explain what happened over a candlelight dinner. After sending her some roses, of course."

Uh, Perry its going to take more than roses, dinner and a sad expression to win back your bride. Deep down Alice knows you are nothin' but a hound dog ....for her. How about coming home early a few nights and help her make dinner? That'll show your heart is in the right place. sloppy


Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.

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