I actually wrote the first bit of this years ago, but I finally decided to go back and finish it. Here is the complete story.

Look What the Cat Dragged In
By Lois_Lane_Fan
Rated G

Summary: An alternate ending to the episode 'Neverending Battle.'

Disclaimer: Lois and Clark and related characters belong to DC Comics and Warner Brothers Studio. This story is an alternate ending of an episode of "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman."

*****

Clark had actually done it! He had the Superman story that everyone in the newsroom, especially Lois, had been after for several days. He had to admit that seeing his name next to the headline “Superman’s Back: Disaster Averted” made him feel proud. Of course, since he was Superman, it might be easy to assume that Clark would have any and all Superman stories in the bag, but beating Lois to the Superman story had been a challenge for him. She was absolutely obsessed with Superman, so much so that she’d managed to steal the last Superman story from Clark. She’d also stolen several leads on the story from other reporters, but Clark had set up a little prank that would hopefully teach Lois to remember her ethics.

The thought of Lois taking the bait that he’d left for her made Clark fairly happy for a few reasons. Obviously, a little payback would be nice. He also figured that falling for his trap might also show Lois that he wasn't just a hack from Smallville - that he was a very bright reporter. However, Clark was also concerned for Lois. Her recent lack of ethics regarding any story about Superman could potentially hurt her career if Perry ever found out how far she'd gone. He was hoping that his little prank might give her a much needed wakeup call.

Sure, he’d had his second thoughts about the whole situation. Lois was not only his friend, but he also had a bit of a crush on her. Furthermore, she’d given him support and helped to reassure him that Superman was indeed needed in Metropolis when he was doubtful, even if she hadn't realized how helpful she'd been. Without Lois, Superman would not even exist anymore. In fact, that’s why a regretful Clark had almost stopped Lois to warn her about his prank. She hadn’t listened to him when he'd called out to her, which Clark later decided was for the best. Clark decided that he had to keep in mind that the woman was out of control and deserving of a bit of a comeuppance.

One concern that Clark had, however, was that Lois might not forgive him after the prank. So far, she'd warmed up to him slightly, though the two of them still weren't all that close yet, but it was possible that this prank might push her farther away, making her so mad that she might never speak to him again. Losing Lois’ friendship was the major drawback he could see to his scheme.

“Good work, Kent,” Perry said, interrupting Clark’s daydreaming.

“Thank you, sir. I was just in the right place at the right time,” Clark said modestly.

“That's what being a good reporter is all about. Keep it up.” He turned to Jimmy. “Where the hell’s my fish?”

“I’m working on it, Chief,” Jimmy said slowly as Perry began to walk towards his office. He then began to read from Clark’s article. “'Let there be no mistake. Metropolis is my home now. I'm here to stay.' That should make life pretty interesting.”

Clark’s jaw dropped as he looked past Jimmy. It was Lois, but she didn’t look the way he had expected her to look. Instead of dirty, disheveled, and mosquito bitten, she was completely clean! Was it possible that she hadn’t fallen for his prank at all?

“Lois--“ Clark said, trying to think of what he should say to her. “Did you take a shower today?” His words didn’t come out right, and he knew he was about to get some flack for his stupid comment.

“Excuse me?” Lois asked, rolling her eyes. “What kind of question is that?”

“I’m sorry, Lois. It’s just that you look really--“ Clark thought a second before finishing his sentence. “--clean.”

“Are you saying I’m not usually clean - that I don’t usually take a shower or something?” Lois asked. Clark could tell that she was offended, and her anger was definitely rising with each passing second.

“No,” Clark said slowly. “You didn’t happen to get a map, did you?”

“Map?” Lois asked quizzically. “What do you mean? Why would I have a map?”

“No reason,” Clark lied. Had she figured out it was a fake? Had she fallen for the prank and cleaned up to make it look as though she hadn’t been tricked? Clark scanned her for even a speck of dirt, but he couldn’t find anything. She also had absolutely no mosquito bites. Clark wondered if there was any chance that she’d made it out of the sewage facility without getting bitten once. He remembered that the place had been swarming with mosquitoes when he had hidden the Godzilla doll there.

“You were late to work today,” Clark said. “Was there any particular reason?”

“What are you, my father or something? My alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late, OK?" Lois fumed. "Any other random questions, Kent?”

Clark was silent as he thought about what was going on for a moment. Either Lois hadn’t received the map, or Lois hadn’t fall for his trick, or she’d fallen for it and was too embarrassed to admit it. He just couldn’t figure out which one of these possibilities had actually happened. He was also a little concerned about the fact that if Lois hadn’t found the map, then somebody else might have had it. Had somebody else accidently gone on Lois’ wild goose chase, and if so, then who was it?

“You’d better get to work on that Superman story, Clark. I’m feeling lucky today, so I might just land an interview with him if you don’t hurry up,” Lois teased, breaking the silence.

“Actually, Lois, CK already landed the story. Didn’t you hear the news?” Jimmy asked.

“What?!” Lois screamed as she bolted towards the nearest newspaper, snatching it out of Jimmy’s hands. For a few seconds, she stared down at the story, processing the fact that Clark had been beaten her to the scoop this time. She was about to say something when she heard several gasps coming from behind her. She flung her head around and immediately smiled at the sight that she saw before her.

It was Cat Grant, but she looked nothing like the glamorous beauty she was used to seeing! The Cat Grant before her was a total wreck. She was barefoot, covered from head to toe in filth, still wearing the same clothes from the day before, with her hair sticking up all over the place. She also smelled like she'd spent the night in a garbage bin, and she scratched at the mosquito bites that seemed to cover her almost completely.

“Well, look what the ‘cat’ dragged in,” Lois joked, suddenly forgetting about the Superman story as she delighted in the sight of the tired, filthy, Cat Grant.

"You..." Cat stared at Lois in disgust as she took a couple of steps towards the smiling woman. "I have you to thank for what I've been through."

Lois was confused. "What do you mean? What have you been through?"

Cat shrieked and clenched her fists in anger as she circled Lois. Lois and Jimmy openly laughed at the woman's building anger, and even Clark couldn't help but grin slightly at the sight.

"Yesterday, a little package was delivered to your desk while you were out chasing after Superman," Cat replied. "I was kind enough to sign and accept the package for you. That could have been the end of it, but my curiosity got the better of me."

"Curiosity killed the cat," Lois couldn't help but interject sarcastically, causing Jimmy to snicker.

Normally, Cat wouldn't have let this go without a clever comeback of her own, but she was far to worn out at this point to engage in her usual back and forth with Lois.

"Anyways!" Cat shouted, bringing the attention back to her so she could finish her story. "I opened it up, and what did I find? A hand-drawn map with an X pointing to the location of Superman's spaceship."

"Wait, you stole information about Superman from me?" Lois asked, a slightly annoyed tone to her voice.

"Believe me, you should be thanking me," Cat replied, scratching at a mosquito bite on her elbow as she spoke.

"And besides, Lois, didn't you steal a story from me?" Clark asked.

Lois shrugged her shoulders and admitted, "I guess so." She then turned back and asked Cat, "So did you find anything?"

"Oh, I found something, all right," Cat replied. "I found out that someone really has it out for you. I spent the night walking through the Metropolis Sewage Reclamation Facility only to find a toy Godzilla with a red S painted on it!"

"Somebody wanted me to go on a wild goose chase?" Lois asked, clearly stunned. "Who? And, why?"

Clark shifted around uncomfortably and then finally spoke up. "It was me. I guess I sort of wanted revenge for you stealing my story. I thought you needed to learn a lesson of some kind."

Both women stared at Clark as if they could murder him.

"It seemed like a better idea in my head," Clark added.

"You owe me big time," Cat said as she took a few steps toward Clark. "You owe me money to get this dress cleaned."

"I'll gladly pay your cleaning bill, Cat," Clark replied.

Cat took another step forward. "You owe me a new pair of heels. The pair I was wearing are still lost somewhere at the Metropolis Sewage Reclamation Facility."

"I'll take you shoe shopping this weekend," Clark answered.

"And one other thing," Cat added.

"Anything you want, Cat," Clark replied, hoping to appease her.

"After shoe shopping, I think I deserve a romantic dinner," Cat said. "You've been sidestepping me for a long time now, and I think I deserve a reward after what I went through."

"Fine," Clark relented. "But keep in mind, Cat, that it'll be a date between friends. Nothing more."

"Whatever you say, handsome," Cat replied, suddenly sounding more like herself. With that, she leaned forward, wrapped her arm around him, and kissed him right on the lips, clearly causing Clark some anguish due to the fact that she was filthy and smelly.

Lois and Jimmy both laughed at the sight of Clark being kissed by a filthy, smelly Cat Grant. Soon afterward, Perry came out of his office, ushered his reporters to get back to work, and suggested that Cat take the day off and not return until she had showered a few times.

And that's how Cat Grant finally convinced Clark to go out on a date with her.

THE END