Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200
Top Banana
OP Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200
So, what do you think?

Was it a satisfying enough story? Sorry I didn't kill off Dr. Deter? Better resolution than the Bummer-Be-Gone thing that brought Lois' memory back in canon?

Reading is nice,
but don't leave in a hurry.
Write me some feedback,
And you might get more stories!
wave



Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way. wink
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,357
C
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
C
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,357
I feel like we missed some of Deter's perspective in the aftermath of the reveal. I also feel like Deter would have been more frightened than he seemed to be. Either he suspected they were the same person prior to the reveal (BTW, I felt like it was hinted at during the AArgh!) or he REALLY doesn't have a great deal of fear (which didn't seem like the case during the argh and doesn't seem to be the case with those bad guys.) I guess I needed a little more perspective from Deter to make sense of what he's doing.

Nice waffy ending, though!


CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,333
Top Banana
Online Content
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,333
I personally believe the only reason to keep Deter around is for a sequel. Otherwise he is a loose canon whether in jail or not, disgraced or not. Neither situation would keep the criminal element from believing him enough to try to use Lois, Perry, Jimmy, or the Kents as leverage against him. Just to see if it works or not. If he truly believes he has nothing to live for (the disgrace) then there is nothing to prevent him from going public with the information. If he does, SOMEONE will believe him enough to make it very dicey for Clark and his closest acquaintances.

Now the Lois resolution was MUCH better and more realistic than the series resolution except for the part where Lois slugs Deter of course...

Mike


Create all the happiness you are able to create.
Remove all the misery you are able to remove.

Jeremy Bentham

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200
Top Banana
OP Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200
Hmm... Not sure if you could get a more satisfying ending for Deter with a reveal (which Christina had asked for) other than to kill him off. I implied that he would be discredited thanks to his narcissism and copious notes. But you all seem to want to see blood... I hope Christina is happy with it and feels she got her money's worth out of it. But if not, PM me. Since it was your story, I'd make an exception and change things if you really want me to... wink


Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way. wink
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 391
Beat Reporter
Offline
Beat Reporter
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 391
This was a well-written story and I'm sorry I didn't comment earlier. Part of the reason was I find Dr. Deter's actions (both in this story and in canon) to be such a depraved violation of medical ethics that he is hard to take. To me, he really stands out as one of the more odious villains in the entire series. I was disappointed that all you see him get in canon is a punch in the nose. grumble

In addition to fraud, I'm reasonably sure that Dr. Deter could be charged with sexual assault, aggravated battery, kidnapping, and false imprisonment, and that's just from what he did to Lois. I'm sure the police could happily find other crimes to charge him with.

Still, it was a great story!

Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,393
Likes: 1
L
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
L
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,393
Likes: 1
I love a WAFFY ending. sloppy smile

Even imprisoned, Deter could still do a lot of damage to Clark. I could easily see him blowing Clark's secret; of course, you know what this means... Sequel, please? grovel

Brava!

Joy,
Lynn

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837
I enjoyed it and yes, the resolution was better than the mechanical thing a ma jig in the basement.
Great job, MM. I enjoyed the pictures too.
cool
Artemis


History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883
Maid,

Very nice story!

A very satisfying ending I must say, much more so than in the series. Deeter got what was coming to him ... revoked license and possibly jail time.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 17
N
Blogger
Offline
Blogger
N
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 17
I agree with everyone else, this ending calls for a sequel... please!!??
You created a very interesting background for this story and it has a lot of potential. It ould really be great for you to use it on a larger story.
Thank you!


Nanou
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200
Top Banana
OP Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200
Originally Posted by DebbieG
This was a well-written story and I'm sorry I didn't comment earlier. Part of the reason was I find Dr. Deter's actions (both in this story and in canon) to be such a depraved violation of medical ethics that he is hard to take. To me, he really stands out as one of the more odious villains in the entire series. I was disappointed that all you see him get in canon is a punch in the nose. grumble

In addition to fraud, I'm reasonably sure that Dr. Deter could be charged with sexual assault, aggravated battery, kidnapping, and false imprisonment, and that's just from what he did to Lois. I'm sure the police could happily find other crimes to charge him with.

Still, it was a great story!
I think the reasons you listed is probably why Dr. Deter doesn't show up much in fanfic. We all pretty much hate the ARGH, agreed? But that was the challenge that arose in the auction. You have good points about what he could be charged with, especially in a real-world context. I'll have to think that over...

Originally Posted by Lynn S. M.
I love a WAFFY ending. sloppy smile

Even imprisoned, Deter could still do a lot of damage to Clark. I could easily see him blowing Clark's secret; of course, you know what this means... Sequel, please? grovel

Brava!

Joy,
Lynn
Glad you liked the WAFF! smile I will think about a sequel, but I'd have to have a good reason to deal with Dr. Deter again... ew! Who wants that much slime sliding around their story anyway? wink

Originally Posted by Artemis
I enjoyed it and yes, the resolution was better than the mechanical thing a ma jig in the basement.
Great job, MM. I enjoyed the pictures too.
cool
Artemis
Thanks! It's fun when I get to share my European experiences in the world of LnC. I just wanted to enhance the story with a few pics...

Originally Posted by KenJ
Maid,

Very nice story!

A very satisfying ending I must say, much more so than in the series. Deeter got what was coming to him ... revoked license and possibly jail time.
Thanks, Ken! I really appreciate that you liked the story!

Originally Posted by Nanou1983
I agree with everyone else, this ending calls for a sequel... please!!??
You created a very interesting background for this story and it has a lot of potential. It ould really be great for you to use it on a larger story.
Thank you!
Merci bien, Nanou! Especially for your help with the French! smile I will think about a sequel... there must be some excuse for Lois and Clark to return to France... wink

Thanks for the feedback, everyone! wave


Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way. wink
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,948
Likes: 28
Boards Chief Administrator
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Offline
Boards Chief Administrator
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,948
Likes: 28
…and now for the conclusion. Will Deter loose his marbles? Will Lois get them back? And will Clark get to play with them? [Linked Image]

Quote
But would discovering he was Clark set her back?
LOIS: Are you saying I can have both Clark and Superman at the same time but still only have a single husband? confused mecry

Quote
and then slow down for a while so Lois could enjoy the view.
LOIS: Oh, look! More ocean. [Linked Image] But I better not say anything to him. I’m sure he must get tired flying so far and I don’t want to seem ungrateful. But I do hope his endurance in other realms is much greater than that. [Linked Image]

Quote
Eventually they entered Metropolis airspace. Lois smiled at the view. “This…it’s definitely home, Superman. I could almost imagine it in Marseille… but this, is definitely a memory I remember.”
Dodging planes while making their approach?

Quote
He nodded. “That’s pretty much the gist of it… But Superman… Lois, you have to understand. Superman is what I can do, not who I am.”
ZARA: We’ll have to work on that…

Quote
Clark sighed, trying to remain calm. He hoped she’d put the puzzle together herself.
LOIS: [Linked Image] Do you have a knife? That piece was obviously cut the wrong way for it to fit here…

Quote
Though, she had taken two years to figure it out the first time. But he had faith in her. And besides, he wanted her to figure it out this time.
Awwwww that she loves him smile1

Quote
She turned to him, having scanned his whole bookshelf, with a curious look on her face. “Why are there so many things of Clark’s here?” she asked, picking up the photo of them once again.
[Linked Image] Oh. That. He hasn’t yet told her *that*! Duh!


Quote
“Lois, isn’t it obvious?”
LOIS: [Linked Image] So…you and Clark, you two are in a relationship, then?

Quote
He waited patiently for the penny to drop.
LOIS: [Linked Image] You…you…let my fiancé drop to his death. And then you let my fiancé get smashed by a subway tunnel!

Quote
Clark longed to reach for her, but he knew she had to find her own way.

“Wait… I need to—“ she stopped and looked at him, this time a little unsure. “Would it be ridiculously rude if I asked you to kiss me again? As Clark?”
rotflol

Quote
He pulled her in for a closer hug. “Are you really back, Lois? Could it be that easy?”
SUPERMAN II LOIS: mad

Quote
The people of Marseille might not care so much, but Deter knew that this information could be very valuable in Metropolis. He could use his knowledge as leverage to get Lois back.
He does realize that Kryptonian men have heatvision, right?
LOIS: Good thing he doesn’t kill, then, huh? So, Clark, see that thunderstorm over there? Let’s go flying, okay?

Quote
“I have secured your library, Dr. Deter. The authorities are on their way to arrest you for fraud. Your copious notes of your conquests and manipulations of your patients will be your downfall. I hope you enjoy the ride.”
So…oops?
DETER: Clark Kent is *Superman*! He *is*!
PRES. DOE: That’s what I’m saying! Why aren’t you listening you stupid flock of geese?

Quote
Jimmy, running around doing various errands. And Perry, giving her a warm teddy bear hug and then blustering about getting the details right on her rescue from the gunrunners for their next lead story.
Ralph, trying to cop a feel…

Quote
His smile warmed her to her toes, a feeling that she had delicious memories of experiencing.
That might not have been his smile…[Linked Image]

Quote
Lois pulled him inside and closed the blinds, not caring that it would look suspicious to their colleagues.
COLLEAGUE: Oh man… first day back at the office and Lane and Kent are going at it again, already…

Quote
“Maybe I did need my prince to kiss me to help me remember, after all.”
Well…he does have practice kissing frogs.

Quote
“Yes, indeed,” she said, tucking her arm through Clark’s as they headed toward the elevator. “Besides, I’m still in need of a bit of therapy. And I much prefer your methods to that awful Dr. Dreadful.”
laugh But he tried to use the same technique! Well…mostly…

Quote
“Well then, Miss Lane. Come on over here, because the doctor is in,” Clark said, pulling Lois into his arms just as the elevator doors closed.
Quack!

That was fun, MM!

wave Michael


Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, our favorite show, life, and more! (It’s almost like the IRC days of old again!)

I go by Michael on the Archives.

Moderated by  Kaylle, SuperBek 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5