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DebbieG Offline OP
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If you need to catch up on prior chapters, LabRat and Mike M have put together a helpful TOC here. The next post will be Sunday morning.

So, what do you think?

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National Intelligence Agencies

Whoa boy...

I agree with Virginia few parts back, there will be no Kryptonite in this timeline so even the Trasks of this world will not be able to control her. Good thing for them she is more like Clark than Lois...


Mike


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Remove all the misery you are able to remove.

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Kerth
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I enjoyed the part. But Superman Returns? Really? Trying to scar poor Kara?


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Sorry I haven't left FDK, but I'm reading and enjoying this story. Very interesting premise! Looking forward to the next part. hyper

Andreia


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~ Superman: Man of Tomorrow #15
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Wow, lots packed into this one! Definitely one of the biggest days of Kara's life, and poor thing that she doesn't have Dad there to help her out! Though she seems to be getting the hang of things pretty quickly.

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Kara’s thoughts kept drifting to Superman, who spent nearly as much time promoting charities as he did doing rescues or fighting crime. He always said that while he could do a lot, he couldn’t do everything, and that the most important part of being a hero was not having powers, but caring and doing what you could.
Loved this, and Clark would be SO proud of his little girl for thinking about that. But it must be weird for Kara to hear about these kind of disasters WITHOUT a Superman around to help out. Makes me wonder what else would strike her as odd - how long it takes to clear up bad traffic accidents, etc.

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What on Earth was going on? Was she crazy? Were they ghosts or something?
If so, they were very mundane ghosts.
rotflol

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That meant her dad was Superman; she was certain of it. And that made her even more sure that somehow, he’d find her.
Despite her fear at what was happening to her, a tiny smile crept onto her face.
Thatta girl! Must feel nice to know for certain she's not crazy.

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It was unsettling to realize she’d spent a unit of fourth grade Social Studies studying her own father.
Doubly unsettling that she didn't realize it at the time, I'm sure!

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Another epiphany landed on her like a cartoon anvil: Oh my God, I’m an alien.
[Linked Image] You're doing a great job of sharing her swinging emotions as everything comes crashing into her head.

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She noticed Kevin had joined them again.
“Aren’t you going to get sassed for eating lunch with sixth grade girls, Kevin?” teased Bailey.
...
“Hey,” interjected Kevin. “So do you want to come over and see a Superman movie this afternoon after school?”
Wow, I think Kevin's got a little crush going on here! [Linked Image]

Though I'm not so sure it's a great idea for Kara to be hanging out with a bunch of kids after her big day. Talk about putting on the pressure.

Love the baseball scene. I am RIGHT THERE with Kara - I've NEVER liked having balls thrown at me, and could totally freak out about it. Adding in superpowers on top of that panic would be a total disaster. And your super-power-physics are really great, along with Kara's recognition of what's going on. She's a very smart kid!

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She had not had a moment all day to process the meaning or implications of the superpowers that had been erupting one after another like a bad case of Kryptonian acne.
rotflol

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Kara hugged herself and shivered. “I think this was the worst day of my entire life.”
Megan looked confused, then questioning. “Is it…?” she whispered.
Kara looked blank for a moment, then shook her head. “No… I… um, not yet.” She blushed furiously and averted her eyes.

[Linked Image]
The joys of pre-adolescence.

I really think it's a BAD IDEA for her to go hang out with everyone. Yeah, she probably wants to feel normal, but she hasn't had any time to process this on her own and has to be exhausted by now.

And then, UH OH...
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That caused the file to be flagged. The information was transferred to other computer systems, including those used by the national intelligence agencies.
[Linked Image] This can NOT be good for Kara!!!

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Yeah MOS is the last thing this young lady needs to see! Still everything is connected... thumbsup


Morgana

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DebbieG Offline OP
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Yeah MOS is the last thing this young lady needs to see!
Yes, that would probably be worse. This story is set in Autumn 2011 (when I started writing it), so pre-MOS. Otherwise Kevin would've shown her that, I'm sure.

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Lots going on in this part. Yes, those ice cream cones have finally calmed down and figured out a solution, but to have her come upon all her abilities at once? Yikes! What a confusing and horrible day it must be for Kara, even though, I must say, she's handling it very well. And without her father there to guide her through it. I wouldn't be surprised if she's flying long before her 18th birthday. Should she go back, now, to her home dimension would those nanobots revert her back into an ordinary little girl who would slowly ease into her abilities, or would she keep her powers? If the latter, I'd love to see her stand up to that bully who had been bothering her. evil

I do find it interesting that Kara claims that THIS is the worst day of her life. She discovers that these things are happening to her and, not only does she do well to cover what's really going on up, she also KNOWS what's happening to her (unlike Clark when his powers turned on). Yet, she considers this a worse day than the one when she awoke abandoned and alone in this strange universe and everyone told her that not only did her parents and everyone she knew didn't exist, her city doesn't exist, and that her folks have been lying to her. AND, worst yet, that Superman -- a man whom she admires, whom she has studied in school, whom she knows holds truth above all else -- has been lying to her for 11 years. I would say THAT was the worse day. But, then again, pre-teen girls are prone to exaggeration.

Oh, Kevin. USE your head! YOU think she's Superman's daughter (or at least, YOU think she thinks that and you hope so), and you decide to show her Superman Returns? Are you daft?! She's going to see her parents separate and arguing. She's going to witness her mother shacked up with another man whom she's letting raise Kara's elder brother. She's going to think that her father abandoned her mother and her brother for no good reason. That movie would traumatize for life.

Of course, watching Superman 2, she'd see her father erasing her mother's memory after they slept together and THAT can't be any better. Man Of Steel, well, she'd see her father murdering someone, so yes, that too would be bad, but I could see her standing up and saying that Superman would NEVER do that and march out, claiming loudly that the film was a fraud, or at least a poor representation of Superman. Really, Lois and Clark is the only thing Kara should watch. wink

And, only a 12 y.o. boy would choose SR over Superman: The Movie because of the special FX instead of the plot. /roll eyes/ He really isn't going to endear himself to Kara with this plan.

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In an office somewhere in Washington, D.C., Kara’s photograph, fingerprints, and case report were scanned into a computer database. From that point automated systems took over.

The information was cross-indexed; no matches were found among birth or other records. This person seemed not to exist.

That caused the file to be flagged. The information was transferred to other computer systems, including those used by the national intelligence agencies.
Umm... So, it's going to be determined that Kara was kidnapped from another country? Canada, maybe (for the American accent alone, and even with that I'm stretching). How and why would Kara's case file end up in Washington DC? That doesn't make any sense. Do they have a fingerprint record of everyone in the US? I guarantee you that they do not. (Hospitals *might* have a footprint record of a birth, but never fingerprints of a newborn.) Nor would they be able to determine that Kara "did not exist" from so little information. We too often hear of people who gave birth and never had the child's birth recorded legally. What if she and her parents were on the run from the law? Or her parents had a natural child birth at home? Then, her parents fed her this history and she bought it. Trust me, the government contracts with the lowest bidder. The computer systems that our government uses aren't anywhere near that good for that kind of exhaustive analysis.

Unless her file included a sample of her blood and her DNA claimed she *shouldn't* exist, then maybe I might believe that the Federal Government might be interested. Really, they are too busy filing every useless thing in triplicate to care about a lost little girl, who claims to be Clark Kent's daughter. (But, don't worry, they'd never admit to that.) UNLESS they have some other reason to think it could be a possibility. Oh, I do hope that Kara doesn't end up in a lab being studied like a frog, because then Clark Kent really *would* kill someone. Heaven forbid Kara comes across a Jason Trask. [Linked Image] Oh, dear. That would be bad.

Keeping my mind buzzing and me on the edge of my seat, as always. I'm curious to see what will happen next. /I'm almost hoping Trask will show up before she gets a chance to see Superman Returns, that's how badly I think that film would affect her. Personally, I'm kind of hoping she'll mention the movie to Emily who will put a kibosh on the whole evening, instead./

Last edited by VirginiaR; 05/31/14 02:33 AM. Reason: Fixed Typo

VirginiaR.
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Actually Virginia, if I'm not mistaken, the FBI deals with Child abduction cases so it would stand to reason that the feds would be the one to deal with her reappearance. Now this may be a bit more innocuous than it seems... or maybe not.

I am just waiting for Kala to stand up while watching Superman Returns and walk away. When Brian asks what's wrong she blasts him with "Superman would never leave Earth like that!"

.....Wait.....

*remembers the NK arc* Maybe not.


CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)
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DebbieG Offline OP
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But, then again, pre-teen girls are prone to exaggeration.

Indeed. I'm sure the day she was kidnapped was also the worst day of her life. And there will be more worst days of her life in the future. wink

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Pulitzer
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Really, Lois and Clark is the only thing Kara should watch.

Hee hee! I totally agree. Although some of the Season One innuendo might be embarrassing for Kara.

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Hack from Nowheresville
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You think Season One would embarrass Kara, she'll be mortified by some of the episodes in Season 4!!!! ("They are NOT doing THAT on the CEILING!!! Ugh, I'm never going to be able to enter my parents' room again.")


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