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Comments go here. Hopefully you've all got something to say.

Next week Part 4 - The Apartment


KatherineKent/Victoria
Lois: "You put up with me for the same reason I put up with you. It's because I'm completely in love with you."
Clark: "And I love you ... Did we just make up?"
Lois: "I think so."
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Awwww, Lois. Come on. Clark follows you around like a puppy. You don't think he feels the same way about you that you (have just realized that you) feel about him?

Also, *puts on editor hat* I know this is picky, and I like the story (!!) but your British-isms are tossing me out of the story a little. Just an observation smile

thumbsup


"It's the mythology of a sun god who wished he was a man because he saw something so great in us.
It's the story of a hero who could move whole worlds and see through stars and hear a whisper on the other side of the planet...
...and who fell in love with a storyteller." - ashmaht (x)
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Her mouth dropped open and she completely forgot to answer.

Blue pen.

A short stripe of blue pen, just behind his ear.
Squee!!!!!!! laugh After he washed it off, I didn't think you were going to go there!

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He needed to take her to the hospital. But he was probably blowing this all out of proportion. All he had heard was one, barely audible, sniff.
Clark blows things out of proportion and jumps to conclusions faster than a speeding bullet!

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Now … knowing who he really was, knowing that he only considered her a 'friend', knowing the number of women in his 'human' life who would gladly fall at his feet at only one word from him, never mind the rest of the world's desire for his famous alter ego … she had zero chance.
This is a really interesting take. Usually Lois thinks that Superman is more attainable now that she knows he's Clark. I like her reasoning that makes her think that Clark is less attainable now that she knows who he is.

It's heartwrenching to see both of them pining for the other one, thinking that it's hopeless. They certainly both have reason to believe that their love is unrequited, and neither wants to make the first move for fear of being rejected. I'm eager to see how they resolve their communication problem in the next chapter. (They do, right? You can't possibly leave them both miserable! smile )


"It is a remarkable dichotomy. In many ways, Clark is the most human of us all. Then...he shoots fire from the skies, and it is difficult not to think of him as a god. And how fortunate we all are that it does not occur to him." -Batman (in Superman/Batman #3 by Jeph Loeb)
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Originally Posted by Kismatt
Also, *puts on editor hat* I know this is picky, and I like the story (!!) but your British-isms are tossing me out of the story a little. Just an observation smile

Every time a character pulls out a torch, I have to stop and remind myself that it's not a stick on fire. That particular British-ism really confused me when I first ran across it a few years back. Do the Brits ever use the term "flashlight"? What do they call what Americans call a torch? Is there a different name for it?


"It is a remarkable dichotomy. In many ways, Clark is the most human of us all. Then...he shoots fire from the skies, and it is difficult not to think of him as a god. And how fortunate we all are that it does not occur to him." -Batman (in Superman/Batman #3 by Jeph Loeb)
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Originally Posted by mrsMxyzptlk
What do they call what Americans call a torch? Is there a different name for it?

Apparently it's both the electric battery powered item as well as the fire on the end of a stick.

Welcome to British English! wink


"It's the mythology of a sun god who wished he was a man because he saw something so great in us.
It's the story of a hero who could move whole worlds and see through stars and hear a whisper on the other side of the planet...
...and who fell in love with a storyteller." - ashmaht (x)
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I've been quietly enjoying the story so far and am looking forward to the next part, as well.

The British vocabulary hasn't bothered me at all; in fact, I hadn't particularly noticed it. But then again, I'm not your typical American. I distinctly remember getting "color" wrong on a spelling quiz in elementary school because I spelled/spelt it "colour." huh

I really don't care in general what vocabulary you use, but I would caution you that if you have Lois erase any pencilled doodles, you have her use an *eraser*; the British term for what we call an eraser has an entirely different, n-fic, meaning over here.

Joy,
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*hides all of Lynn's rubbers*

angel-devil


"It's the mythology of a sun god who wished he was a man because he saw something so great in us.
It's the story of a hero who could move whole worlds and see through stars and hear a whisper on the other side of the planet...
...and who fell in love with a storyteller." - ashmaht (x)
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Kismatt,

I haven't got any to begin with! (I use the backspace key. wink )

Joy,
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I think this was Lois's easiest acceptance of the secret that I've read! I can't wait to see how you resolve the romantic angle.

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Lois Kent.

Never gonna happen.

sad whinging Aww--man! Come on, Lois...That man loves you. Think it through before you get too sad...

Great part, KatherineKent--really enjoyed your take on Lois' response to finding out that Superman is indeed Clark. Really unique and thought-provoking!

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"And what made you think that this story-breaking find would be dangling off the end of the pier?"

I liked the worried-teasing from Clark here (and I did get a chuckle out of it, too clap ).

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A short stripe of blue pen, just behind his ear.

Out of sight to anyone.

Except if a person happened to be held cradled in his arms.

Great revelation idea--I had really figured that the pen mark was a non-issue after Clark washed his neck (but had liked the idea of her figuring out that way, if it were to happen). I really liked how you did this--and it was ironically-cool that it was her mark...her mark is what let herself in on the secret thumbsup.

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She'd spent the last year of her life fantasising about this man, in one form or another.

Great point...I liked this sentences--it really did a great job of simply stating the true fact of the matter notworthy.

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She loved him so much that, sometimes, all that got her through the day, was a desperate hope that Clark would offer to see her home and then kiss her goodnight. Really kiss her.


Really liked this admission from Lois...Love thinking about her at work, thinking and daydreaming about Clark smile.

Quote
And now, the idea of being the one female to capture the heart of the Man of Steel ... strangely enough, it seemed even more impossible now. He had no romantic feelings for her. He didn't even want her to know who he was.

If-she-only-new. Wow, how wrong she really is on Clark's feelings towards her--but really, after telling her he just wanted to be friends in HOL, it would be hard (from Lois' perspective) to go the other direction, the direction that Clark really does like her, without some more straightforward clues from Clark.

Really excited for the next installment smile
Laura

Last edited by LMA; 05/08/14 12:10 AM.

"Where's Clark?" "Right here."

...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.

~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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I totally wasn't expecting this part. ANY of it! notworthy You surprised me, left and right. /BTW: I didn't notice any Britishisms, either, but I grew up watching Canadian television so it might be ingrained in my DNA./

Firstly, yea! Superman caught Lois. Wasn't expecting that. Although, she probably could use a cool dunk in the water after all her recent work-distracting thoughts about her partner.

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Lois lifted her head to look at Superman when she heard the unexpected, and rare, teasing tone, but instead of meeting his eyes she focussed on his neck, directly in her line of sight.

Her mouth dropped open and she completely forgot to answer.

Blue pen.

A short stripe of blue pen, just behind his ear.

Out of sight to anyone.
clap Total bait and red herring switch and bait again. You got me!

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"Just … um … just take me home please … Superman." That final word escaped her lips in a croak. It almost felt a lie, to call him that. In fact it was a lie. It was no more his name than … the name she currently doodled when lost in her dreams.
So, if he isn't Superman, and he isn't Clark... that makes him... huh Chuck! /ooops, sorry. Wrong Story. - whistles innocently/

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"I …" She swallowed in nervousness. "Superman …" There was that name again. "Home."
My mistake. Superman's real name is "James" and he's a chauffeur. (As in "Home, James." )

Actually, on second thought, "James" is a GREAT name for Superman, because of all the interruptions he causes between Lois and Clark... peep

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When she'd slipped he'd almost screamed in horror. Reaching her 'just in time' was another thing that seemed to have become a habit for him, just like 'checking up' on her.
So, she would have been a little soaked in the cold water. wink It would've done her some good. Love Clark's habits.

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She slipped so easily into his arms. The crook of his elbow cradled the back of her knees. His other arm supported her back. She slid her arms around his neck. It was all so familiar. It was the feeling he liked to recall at night, when alone in his apartment. Being allowed to hold her close was such a gift. He cherished every time. Oh, he held her as Clark. They hugged often. But there was something about this particular position. It meant so much more. It meant that he was her hero. It meant that she trusted him. It meant that her mouth was only inches from his. If he turned his head …
I love it. From rescuer, to friend, to hero, to more.

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A quiet sniff beside his ear had him slowing again. Was she crying? His pulse increased in concern. Was she hurt. Maybe a ragged piece of wood had slashed her on the way down. Panic began to overtake him. Surely she would have said something if this were the case. Then again, Lois Lane was never one to admit she was a mortal human. Getting her to hospital was a skill all in itself.

Indecision overtook him for a moment. Lois' safety was the most important thing in the world, to him. Well, second actually - her happiness being the first. He needed to take her to the hospital. But he was probably blowing this all out of proportion. All he had heard was one, barely audible, sniff.
Phew! *That* would have been totally embarrassing.

LOIS: Why are we at the hospital, Superman? I told you to take me home.

SUPERMAN: You sniffed.

LOIS: I sniffed? You've got to be kidding me?

lol

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He was her best friend. He was her dream. He was her fantasy.
Awwwwww.

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She used to weave fantastic stories about Superman declaring his love. She'd briefly relived one when he caught her at the dock. But that was shot down not so very long ago. Instead, she now weaved fantasies that ended in cosy, romantic embraces on a comfy couch. She loved him so much that, sometimes, all that got her through the day, was a desperate hope that Clark would offer to see her home and then kiss her goodnight. Really kiss her.
Awwwww.

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He walked her home often enough. But there was never a goodnight kiss.

Now she knew why.
frown and ummm... does it have to do with her shooting him down in the park last summer and then confessing that she loved his alter-ego?

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She'd suspected, many times, that Clark was not interested in her … romantically. Sometimes, something would happen and she'd question that belief. Maybe he did hope for more with her, But then she'd return to that conversation, outside the Daily Planet, where he told her that all he wanted was friendship. Adding into the equation the fact that her best friend had chosen to keep this secret from her … plus that particular evening when Superman rejected her …
Yikes! shock Wasn't expecting that turn.

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Superman wasn't looking down on us, he lived among us. When he looked down from up here, it was as someone who understood life, lived it, struggled through it, wanted to make life better for everyone, wanted to make the world better. But, he was still set apart - she knew that, she felt it in the way he acted emotionless, aloof, when in the costume. He was separate. He was distant. Flying up here in his arms she knew that he felt … alone. He hadn't chosen to set himself apart, as a god. He was forced to be apart. Forced by his own self-image, his morals, his beliefs and his abilities. They separated him from the very people he lived among. And it explained why he'd never told her his identity.
mecry

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And now, the idea of being the one female to capture the heart of the Man of Steel ... strangely enough, it seemed even more impossible now. He had no romantic feelings for her. He didn't even want her to know who he was.
But, Lois, he hasn't told ANYONE! wallbash Argh! She can be so frustrating sometimes.

What a great twist! notworthy And definitely not one I've seen before. Totally not expecting it. Can't wait to see what happens at "The Apartment".


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Hmmm, the British words did not throw me either. I have watched British TV for years, so the words do not throw me off at all. Sorry about that Vicki!


Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Delightful tale.

Originally Posted by AmyPrime
I think this was Lois's easiest acceptance of the secret that I've read!

I agree, and I think the title of next week's part
Quote
Next week Part 4 - The Apartment
gives away the ending. Maddog Lane arrives at Kent's apartment in a full rant mood.

Looking forward to part 4.



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So, seems I caught everybody out. You all thought the pen mark would be the reveal ... then Clark washed it off ... but he didn't realise how far behind his ear it went!


Originally Posted by Kismatt
Awwww, Lois. Come on. Clark follows you around like a puppy. You don't think he feels the same way about you that you (have just realized that you) feel about him?

She's got no idea and has convinced herself of completely the opposite ...

Quote
Also, *puts on editor hat* I know this is picky, and I like the story (!!) but your British-isms are tossing me out of the story a little. Just an observation smile

thumbsup

Oops, sorry. I do have 2 rules I follow in regards to British/American. 1. I will try to use American phrases/words if possible (ie Apartment rather than Flat, Elevator rather than Lift etc - guess I need to add Flashlight instead of Torch too) as these characters are American. 2. If the word is correct I will use British spelling as I (the writer/storyteller) am British. (Unless it happens to be that the American character is spelling a word out loud - C O L O R - and then I will use American spelling).

Was there a particular phrase or word?

Originally Posted by mrsMxyzptlk
This is a really interesting take. Usually Lois thinks that Superman is more attainable now that she knows he's Clark. I like her reasoning that makes her think that Clark is less attainable now that she knows who he is.

Yeah, I know this is unusual, but it's always seemed possible to me. If she wants Superman (who is distant) and finds out he is Clark (who is a friend) doesn't the combination of the two move Superman closer to her ... yet ... if it is Clark that she wants (who is a friend) and she finds out that he is Superman (who is distant) doesn't that move Clark further away from her? (Sort of like giving a numerical figure to each. Clark is 1 (in distance) Superman is 10. Combine them and you get average of 5. So ... if you want the 10 then 5 is nearer. If you want the 1 then 5 is further away.)

Originally Posted by mrsMxyzptlk
Originally Posted by Kismatt
Also, *puts on editor hat* I know this is picky, and I like the story (!!) but your British-isms are tossing me out of the story a little. Just an observation smile

Every time a character pulls out a torch, I have to stop and remind myself that it's not a stick on fire. That particular British-ism really confused me when I first ran across it a few years back. Do the Brits ever use the term "flashlight"? What do they call what Americans call a torch? Is there a different name for it?

There is another name for what you describe ... but I can't bring it to mind ... argh ... although torch is definitely used by British for fire on a stick ...

I'm going to try and remember to use flashlight from now on. To me, it just brings to mind something more to the effect of a mini lighthouse... or a pulsing/flashing light. *shrug*

Originally Posted by Lynn S. M.
I really don't care in general what vocabulary you use, but I would caution you that if you have Lois erase any pencilled doodles, you have her use an *eraser*; the British term for what we call an eraser has an entirely different, n-fic, meaning over here.

Not gonna use that... definitely not.

Originally Posted by AmyPrime
I think this was Lois's easiest acceptance of the secret that I've read! I can't wait to see how you resolve the romantic angle.

Hmm. I'm sure I've seen some pretty easy ones on the archive. But it's not common for Lois to accept so easy. In this case she doesn't feel that she had a 'right' to know because there had been no romance between them and so she can't be angry with Clark's choice to keep to himself.



KatherineKent/Victoria
Lois: "You put up with me for the same reason I put up with you. It's because I'm completely in love with you."
Clark: "And I love you ... Did we just make up?"
Lois: "I think so."
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Originally Posted by LMA
Quote
Lois Kent.

Never gonna happen.

sad whinging Aww--man! Come on, Lois...That man loves you. Think it through before you get too sad...

'Happy' is on the way ... it is.

Quote
Quote
"And what made you think that this story-breaking find would be dangling off the end of the pier?"

I liked the worried-teasing from Clark here (and I did get a chuckle out of it, too clap ).

Thanks, I chuckle at that line too.

Quote
Great revelation idea--I had really figured that the pen mark was a non-issue after Clark washed his neck (but had liked the idea of her figuring out that way, if it were to happen). I really liked how you did this--and it was ironically-cool that it was her mark...her mark is what let herself in on the secret thumbsup.

Yeah. I'm surprised that I've not seen this kind of revelation anywhere before. The closest I can remember is lipstick on Clark/Superman's cheek from Linda King.

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Quote
She loved him so much that, sometimes, all that got her through the day, was a desperate hope that Clark would offer to see her home and then kiss her goodnight. Really kiss her.


Really liked this admission from Lois...Love thinking about her at work, thinking and daydreaming about Clark smile.

I can really relate to Lois here. I feel as if I'm living empathically with her ... daydreaming about Clark walking me home and kissing me ...

Originally Posted by VirginiaR
I totally wasn't expecting this part. ANY of it! notworthy You surprised me, left and right.

Phew. I was sure everyone would be seeing through my red herrings ... but I managed to fool you all.

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Firstly, yea! Superman caught Lois. Wasn't expecting that.

Yup. He decided to leave her to her investigating ... but couldn't actually bring himself to move even thought he'd made the decision.

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Quote
Lois lifted her head to look at Superman when she heard the unexpected, and rare, teasing tone, but instead of meeting his eyes she focussed on his neck, directly in her line of sight.

Her mouth dropped open and she completely forgot to answer.

Blue pen.

A short stripe of blue pen, just behind his ear.

Out of sight to anyone.
clap Total bait and red herring switch and bait again. You got me!

So, seems like everyone missed in part 2 the fact that Clark cleaned off the mark using a tiny mirror ... and he couldn't quite see where it ended behind his ear. But I did do it a subtly as I could.

Quote
Quote
A quiet sniff beside his ear had him slowing again. Was she crying? His pulse increased in concern. Was she hurt. Maybe a ragged piece of wood had slashed her on the way down. Panic began to overtake him. Surely she would have said something if this were the case. Then again, Lois Lane was never one to admit she was a mortal human. Getting her to hospital was a skill all in itself.

Indecision overtook him for a moment. Lois' safety was the most important thing in the world, to him. Well, second actually - her happiness being the first. He needed to take her to the hospital. But he was probably blowing this all out of proportion. All he had heard was one, barely audible, sniff.
Phew! *That* would have been totally embarrassing.

LOIS: Why are we at the hospital, Superman? I told you to take me home.

SUPERMAN: You sniffed.

LOIS: I sniffed? You've got to be kidding me?

lol

lol I managed to have Clark talk himself out of over-reacting. Wasn't that nice of me?

Quote
Quote
And now, the idea of being the one female to capture the heart of the Man of Steel ... strangely enough, it seemed even more impossible now. He had no romantic feelings for her. He didn't even want her to know who he was.
But, Lois, he hasn't told ANYONE! wallbash Argh! She can be so frustrating sometimes.

She really doesn't feel as if she is anything more than 'friend' to Clark at the moment. Poor Lois.

Quote
What a great twist! notworthy And definitely not one I've seen before. Totally not expecting it. Can't wait to see what happens at "The Apartment".

smile Hope you enjoy The Apartment just as much.

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Originally Posted by Framework4
Delightful tale.

Originally Posted by AmyPrime
I think this was Lois's easiest acceptance of the secret that I've read!

I agree, and I think the title of next week's part
Quote
Next week Part 4 - The Apartment
gives away the ending. Maddog Lane arrives at Kent's apartment in a full rant mood.

Looking forward to part 4.

Really? Well, Lois has asked Superman to take her home ... There's another apartment gonna appear soon, much quicker than Lois could get herself to Clark's. And if she wanted to rant at him, why wait till he's back at his own place?

Just to repeat what I've mentioned above. Lois is NOT mad, because she is not under the impression that she 'deserved' to know this secret. She doesn't feel as if she had any right to know, even though they are friends. That's not to say that she isn't upset. She is. She is currently feeling heart-broken.

So. I wonder how many more surprises I can spring on you in part 4 then ... *strokes chin evilly*


KatherineKent/Victoria
Lois: "You put up with me for the same reason I put up with you. It's because I'm completely in love with you."
Clark: "And I love you ... Did we just make up?"
Lois: "I think so."
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Hi KK/V!

It was the flashlight smile Lois has a penlight that she's using. That was the ONE thing that I could see, as the extra 'u' in some words is fine.

Maybe the fire-on-a-stick word you were looking for is a brand? Firebrand?

Anyway, looking forward to Pt 4 laugh


"It's the mythology of a sun god who wished he was a man because he saw something so great in us.
It's the story of a hero who could move whole worlds and see through stars and hear a whisper on the other side of the planet...
...and who fell in love with a storyteller." - ashmaht (x)
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Uh-oh! The pen mark has exposed Clark's secret. goofy I'm looking forward to finding out what happens once they get to Lois' apartment.


"Who's asking? Clark... or Superman?"
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Excellent twist with regards to the pen mark! You had us thinking it was of no importance since Clark washed it off - but you snuck in a little twist there!

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Originally Posted by Lady Loisette
Uh-oh! The pen mark has exposed Clark's secret. goofy I'm looking forward to finding out what happens once they get to Lois' apartment.

Hope you enjoy reading what happens once they get to Lois' apartment grin

Originally Posted by IolantheAlias
Excellent twist with regards to the pen mark! You had us thinking it was of no importance since Clark washed it off - but you snuck in a little twist there!

Thanks. That was the whole point. [Linked Image] Hope you like that he missed a bit behind his ear!


KatherineKent/Victoria
Lois: "You put up with me for the same reason I put up with you. It's because I'm completely in love with you."
Clark: "And I love you ... Did we just make up?"
Lois: "I think so."
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Well, a lot happened in that part. Superman rescued Lois (again), Lois finally overcame some of her blindness (helped by a little trace of ink) and continued on in abject blindness regarding something even more important.

I'm sure you'll give us a happy ending, Victoria. You've set it up beautifully.

Corrina.

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