Lois & Clark Forums Forums General Discussion Fun with Polls Writers feel insecure?

Hi FoLCs.

I dont know if it´s just me, but I usually feel insecure about my writing.

Maybe it´s because English is not my first language and sometimes my limited vocabulary doesn´t allow me to be as dense as I´d like to.

Guys, my question is... many of you are writers and some of you are very well-known around. Some are old around and some are newbies. Tell me...
You still feel insecure about your writing?

MDL.

All the time. It's not just fanfic. If I stare at anything for too long, I think it's all crap. And writing's nothing new to me. I used to write press releases and edit stuff for the paper, but there was never any thought of getting hate mail or an exploding ficus when I wrote for the newspaper. Half this city probably doesn't even read the newspaper to begin with. The whole concept of feedback shakes the bejeezus out of me, though.

And I do the same thing with my paintings and my music, too. I've been playing guitar for almost 9 years, and I've just now started playing in front of people this year.


So those are my general thoughts. When you do any type of expression...whether it be art, writing, music...you're exposing yourself. You open yourself up to criticism, and some of it's good, and some of it can be bad.

But at some point, I have to tell myself, you know, as long as I'm satisfied with what I've done, it's fine. Not everyone's going to like every single thing I do. And as long as I've expressed what I want to, that's okay.

Jen's $0.02 On Life

I voted for 'sometimes'. Sometimes I write a story and I think "hey, this is good!" and other times I think things that range from "hmm..." to "this is horrible!". But usually I post them nonetheless.

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

I think the "stare at it too long" thing messes me up. I'll go sweeping through a paragraph and think how wonderfully talented I am, then go back and reread it make changes, then go back and reread and think what a hack I am, why did I bother changing it, it sucks anyway, I can't believe what I was thinking....

So you get my meaning? Insecurity arises after the alcohol wears off.

TEEEEEEJ<who doesn't drink due to bad heartburn>

I am always insecure about my writing. Always have been, probably always will be. I know I am not one of the best writers, so I almost always think that my stories are badly written. Then when few people comparatively comment and no one criticizes what I write, I assume people are ignoring my story because it is horrible, and I get very self conscious. Same is true for the lack of nagging. While some authors are nagged mercilessly, I am never nagged, and that makes me self-conscious, too. I think no one cares to read anything I write, and no one cares if I write anything more. I know intellectually that it isn't true, but there is something inside me that always feel like my writing is no where near as good as anyone else's. I know, I'm really paranoid. Just ignore me.

EDIT -- to respond to CC and not make another post:

I had that same experience teaching as a TA (and I especially loved the class where I am responsible for everything -- lessons, grades, etc). I didn't hate any part of it. I loved it all. They were all listening to ME. I was in control of everything and everyone's lives -- whether they graduated or not because it was a reqiured senior level class. Oh, the power! It was so wonderful !

- Laura

You didn't have the option "Secure, as long as no one reads it. Gibbering wreck, if they do."

I've posted 5 stories in the year I've been here. Actually, the first two I just tossed out there, had a merry old time, didn't think too long or too hard about feedback, numbers or content. I just enjoyed.

And THEN (Dum, dum, Dummmm) I remember clearly reaching a point in my third story, reading the really thoughtful, smart comments, and realizing...people were paying attention.

Oh man. I had that moment the first time I ever taught in Grad. school as a TA. I was scribbling furiously on the board, talking, talking, talking. When I turned around, though, I saw all these people listening. to. my. every. word. Listening, the way people do when what you're saying is going to be on the final exam. Freaky. I loved it. And hated it.

Half-way through my third story I had that same impression. People were really reading, really following, and darn it...that meant I had to know what the heck I was doing, and where I was taking them.

I must be the only writer alive who half-way wishes to be ignored a little, or read with polite inattention, the occassional smile and nod. Under the microscope, I tend to sweat, double and triple guess myself.

And yet, posting is a thrill ride I wouldn't pass up. The same way I can't pass up the Tilt-a-whirl or bungee jumping. If the rubber band doesn't break, it's just the coolest thing. If it does, though, you end up writing apologies and epilogues left and right.

Way more than my 2 cents, I know!

CC

I've answered sometimes.

When I started writing fic, I was really insecure. I've been writing for a long time, but usually no one got to read it. And suddenly, I was writing in my second language. So I was really nervous and scared and I though everyone would hate my writing. Luckily, that turned out otherwise.

I'm more confident about my writing since I've got more experience now. Graduating from journalism school certainly helped with that. I've also improved my English a lot.

So sometimes I'm really proud of what I just wrote, but other times I think I totally suck at it. In general, I think I'm doing okay as long as I keep improving. But every time I post something, I'm really nervous.

And I often feel sorry for my Beta Readers, since I keep telling them how horrible the stuff is I just send them. Even though they reassure me every time with their overjoyous reactions, I can't help but be my own worst critic.

Saskia

Do I feel insecure about my writing? Absolutely! All the time! Every time I'm in the middle of writing a story; when I start posting; when I post a new instalment; when I read feedback on a story; when I'm struggling to finish it; when it is finished and I have to put that ending out there; when I send it to the archive.

Do I ever stop being insecure about a story? Maybe when one is finished and archived and I can just forget about it. Do I ever stop being insecure about a new story or current WIP? Never.

But I suppose I'm used to it...


Wendy

If insecurity was an Olympic event, I'd win the gold medal every time. My poor, long-suffering BRs know how much reassurance I need - I'm forever asking if stuff is okay. I even sent out a frantic SOS to them not so long ago (which they all answered with a touching and much-appreciated alacrity ).

Curiously, I don't often get nervous about posting, unless I think I've got something particularly controversial or the subject matter is a little risky. I do worry about posting stuff in the PG folder that isn't appropriate - just did that a couple of minutes ago, in fact. I hate to think that I might upset people with my writing, although I'm not averse to tackling something which people might not agree with - but dissention is different to emotional upset. The former is just stimulating discourse, while the latter consitutes actually hurting someone.

Anyway, I think I wandered off topic there, so I'll shut up now.

Yvonne

Wow, Yvonne. You seem awfully confident about the power of your insecurity.

For myself, I'm pretty much always insecure about what I write. I just choose to ignore it. That's much easier to do when your audience is on the other side of the screen, I've found. It's also a lot easier when your audience is made up of FoLCs.

Paul

If you aren't insecure about your writing you are either fooling yourself, or might as well quit writing.

You can be confident, and have a level of satisfaction on any particular piece you produce, but until you actually get feedback you can neveer really know how it will be accepted.

Also, if, even after having written something you are quite proud of, you don't think you can write better, then you might as well quit right there. It's the nature of the beast to think that you can do better. If not, why bother.

Tank (who is currently listening to the Corrs new CD in preparation for their concert tomorrow... which he is going to )

Do I feel insecure about my writing? Well, I think a better question is... have I ever not felt insecure about my writing?

I can't count the number of times I've emailed or IM'd Sas frantically asking if a piece is just about "okay" to be let out there to a general audience. Thankfully, she's reassured me so far [and caught me on every occasion when it was *not*!!! <g>] but it's still a constant worry. Especially with longer stories - I'm working on a monster right now, and instead of actually finishing new scenes, I find myself going over the old ones and nitpicking till all my writing time is sucked up. Very frustrating.

Sara [thankful for her BRs]

PS - Tank, you're in for one heck of a concert!!!!! Went to see them when they played at the Killarney Summer Fest, got a nice tshirt that I'm wearing right now I absolutely *loved* it!!!!!!!!!

Insecure? Me? Heck, yes!

I wrote stuff as a kid (which of course totally sucked) and my ever-loyal sister and brother got hold of it and teased me unmercifully about it for literally years afterwards. This didn't exactly raise my opinion of myself as a writer. I was in my thirties before I would even let anyone look at anything I'd written. Fortunately, by then my sis had tried writing, too, and her (now-ex) husband got hold of it and graded it for grammar, spelling and plot and made her furious with him, so hopefully she now knows what I felt like when she did it to me. The two of us started collaborating on a science fiction series, and gradually grew more willing to let others see our creations. (Of course, little kids aren't that critical of what their parents read to them.) Anyway, the first time I wrote for the Archive, I was dreadfully nervous. Posting on the message boards helped, but when something doesn't get feedback, I always wonder if it somehow bombed. Conversely, when I wrote a vignette that got a tremendous amount of feedback (Home) I was in tears a good part of the time while the discussion raged. It almost didn't get posted to the Archive because of it.

Fortunately I've gotten more philosophical since, but insecurity is still my main emotion every time I post something, because I always feel like it somehow isn't good enough. I suspect that will always be true.

Nan

Yes, but I think that comes from working on something too long. I also have a tendency to get bogged down with revising. I think that's what beta readers are for, to let you know where you can improve and to let you know what works. Reviews are nice, too.

Mixture of the first two options. I'm always insecure about what I'm writing, but I'm used to it. For some time I made my BRs go crazy with my frequent insecurity crisis and need for reassurance. Then I decided to stop being a pain in the tush and just do as best as I could. Sometimes I can even end up being satisfied with a scene! Okay, until I have to post it; then I'm a nervous wreck.

MDL, I sympathise about not being a native English speaker; most of my insecurities are about that, because I can feel very, very frustrated when words just won't come out or it looks to me like I'm using the same phrases over and over again. I can spend ages on the same sentence, staring at my screen and thinking, "boy, I've overused that word; there's probably a better one but I don't know it." Talking with native speakers have made me aware that they often run into the same problem, though.

Anyway, the thing is, you've got to get past it; try to ignore the fact that you're ESL (I know it's not easy for us ESLs to forget), and by all means make sure you don't think too much about your style when you're doing your first draft. Just write, even bare bones. You can add to it later. I've found that if I try to think too hard about style, repetitions, vocabulary or such, then I end up staring at my screen and not doing anything, whereas it gets easier to edit *afterwards*.

Kaethel

Heck, yes, I'm insecure! After three years - or is it four now? - I'm starting to realise it's the way of things.

I only know one good writer - that is, one writer whose work I admire - who's actually confident about their stuff. The rest of us seem to be completely neurotic about it.

Mere

I'm dying to know who this lucky, confident person is.

And lol, Paul! Yeah, I'm dead confident about my lack of confidence.

Yvonne

I have this problem sometimes. If you can stand the pop-up ads or have an ad blocker, www.dictionary.com is a useful site. They have a free thesaurus and dictionary.

Yeah, Kaethel. I guess we never forget we are ESLs. I really think I should give up writing because I honestly cant even pass the "said" and "Asked" commands inbetween lines. Sometimes it´s frustrating, but when I write something in my language (Portuguese BTW)... well, it´s even more horrifying so, I guess I´ll stick to English or giving up writing.

´Well, it´s good to know I´m not alone!!! (Or is it something bad that almost everybody feels the same way?)

MDL.

Don't you dare! I'm sure I'm not the only one here whose had their mornings brightened up by a MDL MLTV! Beta readers can polish up the odd grammar goof - and not just for ESL writers either, we all need their eagle-eyes! - and your GE will take care of what they and you miss.

So keep up the good work. I know I'd miss your stories if you quit on us now.

LabRat