Lois & Clark Forums Forums General Discussion Fun with Polls FoLC Friends: real or virtual?

It's a little different for lurkers, I suppose. I've read many of your stories, your posts and even the stuff that you guys write in the Off Topic section.
I don't use the IRC at all, and don't intend to. But lurking and reading the posts, makes me feel as though I know many of the FoLCs. At least, the part that FoLCs share on these boards.

See, as a semi-lurker, I feel that I know some of you, but you guys probably know very little about me. Can I call you guys my friends? Perhaps I could, but you probably won't consider me to be one of yours.


metwin1 - who really does enjoy reading what everybody here has to say about fanfiction and all the topics that have featured in the "Off Topic" sections.

Well, I haven't met any FoLC but I'd love to!

I think virtual friends and RL friends are different, not as if one group is less than the other but different as in what are the characteristics(sp?) of each one.

I think this quote sort of explains it. RL friends are people I've met physically, know some of their interests, hang with them and they've also met me physically, know some of my interests and of course I care about them.
Virtual friends(in my case FoLCs), I might never meet, won't know much details about their life(but kind of know something about them through the boards) or won't be able to chat on IRC. Still, I consider virtual friends *friends*, if not close, you guys are definetely people I care about. In fact you are part of one of the things I love the most: L&C.

Apart from not knowing you physically, you're almost RL friends...

Not knowing much of you or the not hanging around part could easyly change,so it's not really a problem ,that is viable through IRC.
The reason I haven't be able to, was time(because of studies, once I start another semester I won't have any time to come and read your posts), plus me being shy, plus the language barrier (even if I have improve a little -at least I hope so!- in all the time I've been part of the boards it's been dificult for me to talk online, veeery different from writing a post, trust me!).
All those factors together and you have a very antisocial-not-liking-to-be-one FoLC.

So that's what I consider is the difference between RL friends and virtual friends.(Did I made sense?)

Carolyn

Well, the only FoLCs I've met in person (although not for lack of trying) have been ones I don't know all that well. So far, at least -- I'm scheduled to meet another in a month and a half or so.

OTOH, I have met MANY online friends from other fandoms. (They had the good sense to live in (or visit) my general geographical area. ) We get together fairly regularly.

And I'm about to head off to Chicago to get together with about 50 people from another forum (about 10 of whom I have met in person already).

I picked the last option.

I am very shy and have no intention of meeting anyone b/c I would be very nervous and make a fool of myself. Also, my living arragements do not allow me to make things very welcoming for people. I'm not outgoing enough to visit others, even though that would be fun. I want to be wild and outgoing...but I try and well things don't end up being peachy.

I don't do IRC because my brain can't figure it out and my computer just looks at me and grumbles, "you want ME to do ANOTHER function?! No way, I'm going on a holiday." I'm a little slow when it comes to real time posting. I think too much with not enough action.

I'll post here, but I still feel like an outsider. I really enjoy the stuff here and will continue to read until everyone jumps ship. Hopefully that will never happen! Maybe I'd feel more at home if I could contribute more.


So I guess I'd have to say no for both.
I wish that where not true. I don't want to call someone my friend and then find out they are not mine. I've done that too much in the past and well I end up looking like a dork b/c I want everyone to like me.

Several years ago, Elisabeth and I met several FoLCs in St. Louis at the Torry(sp?) basketball fund raiser where Dean Cain was playing on the court. Afterward we gathered together in a small room and had a chance to talk with and meet Mr. Cain.

I won't embarrass myself by trying to name any of the people I met because I am so horrible with names. Suffice to say I met some long time members/authors.

Amusing story. The gender of the room was mostly women and less than a handful of guys. Us guys were near the end. Dean had gotten into the habit of leaning over the table and hugging each of the women/girls and the pattern was pretty well set when it came to my turn. For just a moment Dean started to lean forward, paused, did a mental replay of the situation and gracefully stuck out his hand for me to shake. It was very well done. He is as nice in person as he is on the screen.

James

Alas, I have never met one of my FoLC friends IRL. Plans were started one time, but fell through, or just never followed up on. Maybe one of these days, I'll meet everyone I've talked to!

Meeting people that I've met online doesn't bother me, as long as I've talked to them for a good long while first (and most of you, I have!). As most of you know, I met my husband online, and also have quite a few internet friends that I've met IRL, so meeting people I've met online is old hat for me. Oddly, I think I have more internet friends than IRL friends... of course, some of them went from internet friends to IRL friends living near me.

Yay, I got to pick the "Are you kidding?" option. I love my FoLC friends, although I don't get to see any of them very often...or heck even talk to them on IRC that much anymore, mainly because of my screwy school/work schedule.

I've been on vacation (hi beach girls!!!), and been to a couple of houses. And I'm going to dinner and a baseball game with a FoLC buddy today!

And this from someone who's racked up 363 posts. <G> That's a pretty good contribution right there, Roo! We don't need you to do more than you're happy with - we're just happy you hang out here and have fun with us. Keep up the good work! There are members who've never delurked, so for someone shy you're doing pretty well in the bravery stakes already.

And if you ever work up the nerve to join us on irc, just ask for help and someone will be able to beat that lazy pc of yours into submission. You can lurk in #loisclark too - you don't need to dive in chatting. If you want to just sit quietly in the corner with the ficus and listen to the chat, that's cool, too!


LabRat

Tank, dude, you have to be real. You just left me a ton of LNC videos at the comic book store, and if you didn't, I'm in the middle of some big alien conspiracy to keep me from writing while I watch EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

My closest encounter with an email personage and he claims he isn't real. That throws all my theories about life, the universe, and everything right out the window. DAAAAAMN!

I giggled, Sara, I giggled long and hard. Where'd you get that thing, I want one. I used to live in Chandler AZ, so I missed you being a RL for about a 2 hours drive.

Hell we all oughta have a big ole party down in Metropolis IL. They'll think we're nuts, but I bet they'll take our money.

TEEEEEEJ

It's not mine...and despite the good chuckle I get from it, had I one, it would not be on my car.

Sara

Rooooooooo!!!!

How come you say you don´t contribute much to this? You are my life savior!!! Who else helps this Stupid Braz Girl? Only you and SQD!!!

I you.


MDL

Yes, yes, yes, let's invade Metropolis! Just let me know when (preferably after the new year, so I have vacation time again), and I can also plan a family visit, since it's near there. (See my sig. )

Reading through this, it occurred to me that I love you guys I mean, in general, I'll meet someone and hope to get along, but among FOLCs, I just assume we'll be great friends. A few people have managed to make me change my mind about them in particular, but really, it seems pretty difficult to get me to *not* like you.

And I love seeing new people post, either as total newbies, or as long-time lurkers speaking up for the first time. It's wonderful seeing all the new perspectives and enthusiasm

So, yes, metwin, I'd love to meet you (and your clone ) and I'd love to get together with Roo, and pretty much everyone else here. I can't travel much, unfortunately, but I would if I could

And like LabRat said, if anyone wants to get on to IRC, we'd be more than happy to help you get there. If I could figure it out, anyone could.

PJ

Does having three out of four bridesmaids be folcs, including the maid-of-honor, count? *grin*

I've met lots of folcs. Not everybody, especially not the Europeans, except those friendly enough to make the occasional foray across the Atlantic. But I've definitely enjoyed most of those I've met, and even taken a trip to the beach with a bunch of the girls.

When I had to choose bridesmaids for my recent wedding and send out wedding invitations, I ended up choosing three folc bridesmaids, plus several folc invitees. It ended up that only two others came (one couldn't make it because of work, and none of the rest seemed to want to come all the way over from Europe, *sniffle*). But it really made me realize how many good friends I've made among folcs (and, of course, in the column on the spreadsheet where we were writing "relation to bride/groom," I had to keep writing "Sarah-folc friend," which was a bit awkward to explain to my parents, who still think I know Annie from mutual friends from when she lived in DC. Who knows where they think I met Bethy from. )

Back from my holiday in England, and I've got lots to catch up on, but this caught my eye. What a great topic! Though I notice our topic-setter hasn't replied in full details herself.

I went for the "FoLC friends rules" option, as it definitely fits me. Spending time at each other's house, on a holiday together, or shopping... done it all several times and enjoyed it very much.

But it's not because they're FoLCs. Yes, that's true, we first started to chat together because we liked the same show, but if it was just about Lois and Clark, friendship wouldn't develop. It would stay at something superficial and not become some of the closest friendships I've ever had.

Once you start talking with people, and especially when you spend time in RL with them, then you stop talking about Lois and Clark only or even fanfic only. You start talking about your job, your family, your personal issues. You share experiences, comfort each other when one is feeling down, share happiness when one is being enthusiastic about something happening in their life, you go bra-shopping together... /me ducks and runs (sorry, that one was for Annette ), you can even end up conquering your terror of planes when one of your best friends is moving a continent away.

In a nutshell, you do lots of things together, because before being FoLCs, you're *friends*. Proof is, you don't stick to making friends with FoLCs. Example? I became friends with the husband of one of my closest friends, who's absolutely not a FoLC. But he and I can talk seriously or laugh together, tease each other, the sort of things that friends do. Okay, we don't go bra-shopping together (I do that with his wife ).

Basically, my point is that being a FoLC really stops mattering. I don't care that my friends are FoLCs or not; they're just my friends, and that's all that matters. I know I can count on them and they know they can count on me and I'll go out of my way to help them if they need something.

Kaethel

My credit card begs to differ. It considers itself badly damaged, if not murdered (it's got a way of putting things) because of my numerous shopping sessions with (FoLC) friends. But then, my credit card always blames Wendy for introducing it to the wonders of shopping at Cheshire Oaks, EWM, the Trafford Centre, you name it...

Kaethel (who won't take the blame for herself cos, as everyone knows, she's innocent )

Hi, FoLCs!

I voted a while back but didn't have a chance to post anything about the subject.

I agree with everything that Kaethel said. I think virtual friends are just as friends as my real friends. Actually there are some FoLCs that started being virtual friends and became real friends to me. I met some FoLCs in person and they are more than friends to me now. They are like family. I can say that most of the people I talk to in "real" world don't mean as much to me as some people I met online. Besides if you think about it you're just using the computer to talk to a real person... there's nothing virtual because you're not talking to a machine but a person. FoLCs are just the best people ever and I don't have FoLCs close to me to talk to so I have to use the internet.

I may not meet some FoLCs I talk to often but I like them very much and we shared lots of things already When I'm needing comfort I turn to my FoLC friends more often than to anyone else. I can see that as a real friendship.

If it wasn't for the internet I could never have met some of the most important person in my life (right, honey? ) and some of the greatest friends that I have (you know who you are ) so there's no virtual in anything.

Gee, did I make sense here?

Well, anyway I think that if I believed there was a line between real and virtual I would have missed some of the best things that happened in my life.

Raquel