Lois & Clark Forums Forums General Discussion Off Topic James' Mom 1939-2007

I have been in denial about my Mom's health and it is time to share.

However, there is no pleasant news.

Mom has been sort of out of it since she was hospitalized last Wednesday, on June 27th. I went up to visit this last Tuesday. She had an anxiety attack and had to be put on a pressurized oxygen mask, which she hated. When I left, she seemed to be doing better, but was still on the edge of being non-lucid.

On Tuesday night or Wednesday morning, she pulled out all her IV's, her catheter, and all the leads to various monitoring devices and tried to leave. They must have got to her before she successfully got out of bed.

All that exertion caused her oxygen levels to drop and they wanted to put on a pressurized face mask and I think she must have resisted because they tried to sedate her. It took twice the normal dose to knock her out. She not only went to sleep, but she stopped moving, which she hadn't done since she was in the hopital. They asked Dad if her feet moved at night and Dad said that they did.

Her white count jumped to twenty-one. When they hospitalized her it had been nineteen. A normal level is eleven. The infection in her system is resisting nearly all antibiotics except for an experimental one that has not be released for public consumption. They had to ask for permission from the FDA to use it. I don’t know what it is.

They put a shunt into aorta to increase the effectiveness of her medicine and to aid in getting better blood samples. Her arms and hands are bruised all over from slight injuries and from attempts to get blood out of her.

They had to place her into a drug induce coma and put her on a ventilator to give her lungs a rest. She should be out for four to five days.

They transferred her to Iowa University Hospital, where her pulmonary doctor is.

Right now we don’t know when, or if, she will be getting out of the hospital.

UPDATE:July 6, 2007
When Mom was admitted on Wednesday morning, her white cell count was at 25, not 21 as I was first informed. With the new antibiotic, it has dropped to 20, as of last night.


The doctor's say it is too early yet to be certain of anything.



Update: July 9
Mixed news today regarding Mom. The doctor keeps saying she's taking baby steps forward, implying that it might be weeks before we see any real progress. Her white blood count eeked up to 19 yesterday. (It had been down to 17.5, but they're still looking for it to go down to 11.) She also met with a team of 3 doctors who are infectious disease specialists--they're looking to see if something was missed, like a fungus.

On the bright side, she's breathing better every day. Her ventilator is a much smarter machine than I'm used to. It can be set to fully breathe for a person or can be set to assist in getting a full breath. Mom's is on the lowest setting now, meaning she is doing most of the breathing herself. She's maintaining her oxygen levels herself, but will stay on the machine until her lungs completely clear.

She's also been taken off the blood pressure medications--breathing well has helped her heart not to work as hard.

She was not taken out of the coma, as we expected. Every morning, they've been bringing her to wakefulness--enough that she moves her legs around, but not enough to become clearheaded. They will not take her to alertness while she is on the ventilator.

Dad assures me that he's doing well, but I know it takes a toll on him. He's spending 3 hours in the car every day (round trip)--that alone is enough to wear someone out. But he doesn't appear to be so burdened with worry.

Thanks for your continued prayers.


Update July 11

Mom was taken off the ventilator yesterday and brought out of her drug induced coma.

She will be there at least another 2 weeks, which will not be fun for anyone. She is worse than having a doctor as a patient.

Update: July 18th

Sorry for the delay, but not a lot has changed.



They still have her in a lightly sedated state and has a ventilator assisting in her breathing. She really doesn’t know what is going on and fights the machines whenever she is fully conscious.



Dad is having a really hard time. He goes up about 3 or 4 hours a day (it’s a little more than 90 minutes one way to get to the hospital) and then comes home and tries to get everything else done. Thankfully, he is retired.



Her white count keeps going up and down. They are having a hard time nailing the infection. They have three new infection specialists assigned to her case and they are scratching their heads.

Update: July 19th

Well, we have mixed news to report on Mom. They have finally located the source of infection that has been causing Mom knee pain; she has a fungal infection in her knee. It is not believed that this is the cause of the systemic infection, but rather the result of the systemic infection. Also, she is being allowed to come closer to awareness, although she is not conscious enough to fight the machines.

However, her lungs are still too weak to breathe without the ventilator. One lung continues to fill with fluid. The doctor says he still has some tricks up his sleeve, but soon Dad will need to make some decisions.

Mom's sister, Ellen, is also in the hospital right now. While her situation is much less dire, it's one more thing for the family to deal with right now.

In fact, this is the first time that Dad has admitted that the situation is tough on him. He doesn't admit to hardship easily, so he must be at his wit's end.

I have been praying that God's will be done, and I thought I had thought through everything. Thinking doesn't take into account for the emotions of reality.

But, In Roman's 8:26 - 28 it states that ...

Quote

Likewise the Spirit also helps our weakness:for we know not what we should pray for as we ought but the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searches the hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because he makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Good can come of this, no matter what happens.

Update:2:19am July 24th.

Just arrived at Dad's house about 2 hours ago. Just finished up taking care of business related stuff.

Now for the bad news...

Over the weekend, they finally had an actionable diagnosis and had started the treatment. However, three days later, Mom’s health has not improved and there are new complications.

An air bubble has developed between her lungs outside of the lining and she has reached the point where they need to take her off of the ventilator or risk permanent damage. Dad has agreed to do a tracheotomy to do the work of the ventilator. He also has decided to do nothing about the air bubble, except to monitor it with the necessary equipment ready.

A meeting is scheduled tomorrow (Tuesday) at 1 PM. Dad expects to be asked to make life or death decisions at that time. He has decided in his heart that he will not make any decisions until the family members are present. So that decision may be made as early as Tuesday, if by family, Dad means Cathy and I. If he means Mom’s sisters, it may be Thursday, since some of the family is on the West coast.

I am in Iowa, now, and will not be available by phone. I will be checking email, when I get a chance.

Thank you for all of your prayers,



update 8:05pm, July 24

It is so much better to be sitting there when the doctor is talking.

Mom is making marginal progress, but she is making progress. The doctor has been telling us that she is making baby steps to recovery, and they were right. She has Cryptogenic Organizing Pneumonia. An inflammatory lung disease that is only responsive to steroids. However, this disease was a long time forming and will be a long time healing. She could be on the steroids for a year.

Her body seems to be metabolizing the air bubble and will eventually disappear, they say.

The meeting today was to let us know that the prognosis looked better than yesterday and to let us know that a tracheotomy was the best solution to prevent permanent damage to her throat and to limit the possibility of infection. It would also allow them to bring her further up from the drug induced coma.

They took her off of all antibiotics and reduced her pain medication to nothing to start the process of bringing her out. However, to do the tracheotomy, they will have to heavily sedate her again and keep her on painkillers for about two to three days following, so we will be losing about four days on her being returned to consciousness.

We still don’t know if she will return to consciousness, but she shows signs of being minimally aware of her surroundings, but I don’t think she knows we are there.

Dad would like me to stay for the surgery. We are hoping for it to be scheduled this week.

I should be back to work next Monday and will be working after hours to keep the work load down.

Thank you for all of your prayers,




James

Oh, James this is sad. I hope that the experimental antibiotics will work and that your mother will get better. And I wish you and your family strength to get trough the difficult days to come.

I'm sure everyone here thinks of you.

James, I'm so sorry reading this!
I too hope that she will feel better!!

James, I'm so sorry. This is such a painful time - my thoughts are with you and your family, and especially with your mom.

carol

Same here, James. I'll be praying for you and your family.

Laura

I'm so sorry, James. I'll be thinking of you and your family.

Ann

James - I'm so sorry. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

A family crisis like that is terribly stressful. Hang in there and know that others are praying for your mother and your family, James. I'll say a special one for her.

Nan

Thanks for sharing, James. I'll say an extra prayer for her and your family today.

JD

I'm sorry to hear that. You and your mom are in my thoughts.

Mellie

I'm sorry to hear about your mother, James. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

~Anna.

I hope your mom does better.

Oh, James! I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. If I could fit a real hug in this message I would.

I'll be keeping you and Elisabeth in my thoughts. Make sure you give us an update on how she's doing.

-- DJ

Thank you for all your prayers and wishes.

Updates will appear in the top of this thread.

There is an update.

James

I'm sorry to hear of your mom's illness, James. I'll be thinking all best wishes for her recovery.

LabRat

Updated news. She seems to be doing a little better.

Please updated original post for more details.

James

That's very good to hear, James.

Ann

I'm glad to hear she's doing better.

That's encouraging, James. Here's hoping her improvement continues.

Nan

See update at top.

Excellent news, James! Glad to hear she's breathing well and awake!

Har, all of my grandparents were the worst patients ever. Best of luck.

JD

This appears to me to be encouraging news, but I still worry for you and yours.

I'll be hoping things improve more and continue to do so.

Hi James,

I've only seen the bulletins and I wish your mum a full and speedy recovery and you the strength to cope.

Stuart

Thanks for the updates James... I'll be thinking about you and Elisabeth.

-- DJ

Update at top.

I'm discouraged.

James

Sorry to hear that. You and your mom are in my thoughts.

I can only say keep hanging on, James. I'll keep your mom in my prayers.

Nan

Sorry to hear about your mother. Keep your spirits up. Miracles do happen, and people do get well. I have seen it happen. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

More news, some not so good.

James

James,

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. It's a hard thing to let go, but sometimes it's harder for everyone involved to continue to suffer. You have such tremendous faith that I know everything will make sense to you in the end and that you'll have peace - whatever happens.

<hugs>

Sue

James,

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I just happened to visit this thread and caught on.

Through personal experiences I have found that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. My grandmother used to tell us, "Take it to the Lord and leave it there. Don't call him, don't email him or *69. Don't text message him...just leave it." For someone who was not up on the latest technology I found her comment pretty funny...but true.

It was all in reference to my seven year old daughter who was born at 28 weeks, 2# 8oz and subsequently has Cerebral Palsy. We got the sermon of gloom preached to us from the medical staff when we took her home after 3 months in the hospital. She would probably not walk, talk...blah...blah...blah. My grandmother asked if wee were going to believe that doctor's prognosis or Dr. Jesus. I will always remember that. I just prayed to let God's will be done because he knows what we can handle.

Well my daughter, Christina, is 7, scary smart (she's been here before according to my mother). She is an amazing little girl. My husband and son and I treat her like a normal child and she does everything for herself. She walks like Frankenstein, but with therapy and ballet, we're helping that. She talks, runs, feeds herself, potty trained...all in a pretty normal time frame. She is in 2nd grade and goes to a little Catholic School here in Savannah. She's one of the smartest in her class. She doesn't know she has a disability.

My grandmother is long gone now...4 years...but I was convinced that she had a red phone to God (like Batman has to the commissioner).

Just keep Grandma Eula's words of wisdom in mind. She's always around me and I'm willing to share her.

~Sheila

Thank you Sheila. Those were some very helpful words.

I and my immediate family have been praying about this possible situation for years. (She has been a very sick woman for the last 30 years)

But now that it is here, it is almost mind numbing. Elisabeth had to pack my suitcase for me. She sent me to do some busy work in the kitchen and I did it, no questions asked.

I spent the three point five hour drive to my parent's house just listening to Christian radio and to my own wandering thoughts. (Solved two plot bunnies in the fics I am working on, so some good has come of this...as long as I remember to write them down.)

I couldn't list for you the songs placed on the DJ's hearts for the various stations I had to tune to, but they were what I really needed to hear.

Please pray that we make a wise decsion.

James

James, so sorry to hear this recent news. Your family is in my prayers.

I'm in Iowa (QCA) as well, so if you need anything, pls feel free to let me know if I can do anything to help (email me offline).

In Christ's love,
Jo

Good news, the meeting today was to tell us how well Mom is doing, but she has a long way to go.

more details above.

James

James, I'm glad for the news. Don't lose your faith. You and your mother are in my prayers.

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Philippians 4:23

Andreia

I'm so glad to hear your mom is doing better, James.

Ann

I just saw the latest update and am praying for you, James. God will take care of you guys.

JD

James,

Do you have an update for us?

I hope everything is still going really well.

Short report.

Mom is conscious, and recognizes people. The Trach makes it difficult for her to communicate, but believe me, Mom can make her point and needs known.

They have her sitting up on the side of the bed and occasionally, they have walk across the room to sit in one of the room's chairs.

Unfortunately, I can't go up to visit. Last week we traveled to Dallas TX and our van broke down. It is another long story, but we got back with the help of church group we came down with.

Now we are trying to figure out how to get our van back...

James

An update?

How is your mom doing now? Is she still in the hospital? Did you ever get your van back?

You and your family are still in my thoughts and prayers.

Mom is in the hospital still. We all got a chance to be with her. Our eldest, RGT, took it best and tried to talk to her. Our middle child, TFT, didn't like all the machines and spent most of her time in a nearby waiting room. KFT was indifferent. She just had a puzzled look on her face and then turned to me and said, "Kiss Grandpa?" (She is still not getting her labels correct...)

She tires easily and seems to be doing better, but the Hospital is still preplexed at her condition. Her white count spiked two weeks ago up to 52. They think her original condition has changed to normal pneumoia and is treating it with antibiotics, but they still don't think that is the total cause for her condition. Her white count is now in the upper 20s and it should be around 5 to 7. She is still very sick, but being able to talk to her is a real blessing.

Dad is handling it well, but the 90min drives to and from the hospital are wearing him down somewhat. As much as he would like to go every day, he just can't and it is causing him to feel guilty. He now is visiting Wednesdays and Saturdays. (Mom is something of a pack rat and he is using this time to 'tidy' the house, one room at a time. )

We got the van back and it runs fantastically. Could have done without the 12 hour drive home, but what can you do?

And today I am am celebrating a young forty-third year on this planet we call Earth.

James

James, I'm so glad to hear that your mother is doing better. Wow...a white count in the 50's! That's beyond septic. Anyway, my prayers are with you, Elisabeth and the rest of your family.

Oh...and Happy Birthday!

~Sheila

Thanks for the update; I'm thinking about your family! Happy Birthday, James!

JD

Well, got a phone call from Dad shortly after my last post, but forgot to post .

Mom has eaten her first solid food in the last 8 weeks! With the help of a walker and a PT, she walked to the nurse's station, about 20 ft, and she seems to be doing better, white count wise.

The doctors say that if she continues at this pace, that she may be moved to a hospital closer to Dad. There are two possiblities, one is 25 miles away, and is a pretty decent hospital. The other in the same town as Dad, but it really isn't top notch (I mean, I went to school with some of the staff! How good could it really be! )

Anyway, that fact that the doctors are talking so positivly is a really good sign.

James, Thanks for the birthday wishes.

Latest from Dad...

James

Some bad news, but mostly good news.

Mom's health is improving greatly, physically. Mentally, she has a little ways to go yet. She is still rather confused and over the weekend, pulled off all her monitoring leads and pulled out her catheter because, according to her, she wanted to go to the bathroom, like a real person.

However, she fell and broke her glasses and cut the side of her head.


On the plus side, she has been accepted into a nursing home that is only 15 minutes away from where Dad lives . This is not a permanant thing. It is only for her rehab. It is also where most of Dad's family is, so she should get lots of visits.

The doctors still insist that her confusion is probably medication induced and will clear up, once the figure out what, exactly is causing the issue. The hard part is that she hasn't taken anything new in the last year, so there is no obvious suspects.

James

YIPPEE! Mom is being transported to the nearby facility even as I type.

Dad is very happy and sad at the same time. He’s happy to have her closer by, but he apparently had told Mom that he wouldn’t be putting her into a nursing home, so he feels that he is breaking his word to her. Of course, he made this promise a long time ago, long before she was in her current condition. Cathy has tried to reassure him that he is doing the right thing, since this is only going to be temporary, however, Cathy doesn’t have the gift of positive communication so I don’t know if he feels better or not…

James

James, what great news! Your mother is doing a big progress. I hope your father understand he's doing the right thing. I'm very happy for you and your family. I'll keep her in my prayers. Keep your faith.

Last month my sister-in-law lost speech, movements and got comatose due neurotoxoplasmosis. Doctors didn't give us any hope of recovery. They told us IF she came back from coma, she wouldn't walk, or wouldn't speak or wouldn't recognize people. But we prayed and the Lord brought her back in three days. She's speaking, has no memory problem and is already walking. Praise be to God!

For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord. Hallelujah! Psalm 117:2

May God's grace be with you and your family.

Andreia

Which just goes to show that doctor's aren't gods...

James

Mom is dead. Oh God, she dead. Have mercy on her soul.


I have no details, Dad just called Elisabeth before I walked in the door.

James

{{{{HUGS}}}}

You're in my prayers.
Carol

Oh my, James, I'm so sorry to hear that. Love and prayers from me. And lots of (((hugs))).

I'm so sorry to hear it, James. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Ann

James, I am so sorry.

James,

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family are all in my thoughts and prayers. <<<hugs>>>

OMG! That's just...unthinkable.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking of you and your family. ((((hugs))))

I'm so sorry, James. You and Elisabeth and all your family have my deepest sympathy. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Caroline

Hi James,
I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you and saying a prayer for you and your family.

I offer you my deepest sympathies, James and Elisabeth. I wish I had something more substantial to say, but words fail at such times. I wish I could be with you to put comforting arms around you. But know that the Lord will do that so much better than I.

My prayers are with you and your family.

My thoughts and sympathy are with you both as well.

Mona

Oh, James - I'm so sorry to read this. You have all my sympathy. *hugs* to you and your family.

Oh my god, James, I'm so sorry. I'm speechless. I'll be thinking about you.

JD

My sincere condolences. You'll be in my thoughts.

alcyone

Oh, James, I am so, so sorry. I am just now reading this entire post. I will keep you and Elisabeth and your family in my prayers. You two have had a rough year and now this, too. (((Hugs)))

Nancy

James and Elisabeth, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'll be thinking of you and your family.

Tricia.

James, I'm sorry for your loss. I'm thinking of you and your family. *hugs*

Saskia

Me, too, James. My thoughts are with your mom and her heroic struggle, James, and with you and your family now and in the times ahead.

carol

My sincere condolences, you and you family will be in my thoughts.

- Camy

My condolences, James and Elisabeth. My prayers are with you.

Julie

May God comfort you in this sad time.

"the promise was when everything fell, we'd be held"

TJ

James,
I know we don't really know each other and you're probably in a completely different state or country but know that we (on this board) love you and are praying for you and your family to get through this difficult time. Thank you for sharing your life with us and being so open and vulnerable with all of us. I haven't posted in this thread before but I've been keeping up with it and have been there with you every step of the way. We are all mourning with you now too at the loss of your mother. Life is so fragile as many of us here already know. Try to remember all the wonderful times with your mom and how your life was better from knowing her. All you can do is take it one day at a time.

All my love,
Steph

So sorry to hear about your mother, James. My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

~AnnaBtG.

Update

Thank you all for responding.

First of all, I want to apologize for not having responded as often as I should have, over the years, to those of you that have had personal tragedies like this. I realize now that it is not what you say its that someone cared enough to respond. I am so sorry for not replying when I should have.

At 4pm-ish, St. Louis time, the nurses checked on mom and she was fine, resting, but fine. Then about 15 minutes later, Dad walked in and wasn't able to wake her for supper. The nurses couldn't wake her either.

In that short period of time, her oxygen levels had dropped from around 95% to 72% and was still dropping.

They informed Dad that an ambulance would not get there in time to get her to a hospital. They removed her oxygen mask and told Dad that she could still hear him (I don't know if that is true, but it was important that Dad got a chance to say goodbye.) She died 5 minutes later.

I married a wise woman, she awaited until I was home from work to tell me, instead of calling me while driving.

I am babbling now, so I am going to stop typing.

James

James, hearing it like that, it feels even more tragic. All I can do is pray for you and hope that you and your family will be able to help each other through this hard time. And I can send a few more hugs on the way to you and yours.

I know that there is nothing I can say to ease your grief, but I want you to know how sorry I am to hear about your mother. My prayers and thoughts are also with you and your family.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, James.

Sorry to hear this. I wish you and your family all the strength you'll need. I am sorry for the loss.

I'm very sorry James. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Simona

I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.

My thoughts and sympathies are with you. May God keep her safe in the palm of His hand.

OMG James, I'm so sorry. My condolences to you and Elisabeth, I can only imagine what your going through.

Carolyn

"The soul takes flight to the world that is invisible, and there arriving, is sure of bliss and forever dwells in paradise." - Plato

I am truly sorry for your loss.

James, I am so sorry for your loss.

James, I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Chris

I only found this thread today, James -- have had some kind of virus for several days. I'm so sorry. There really isn't anything you can say except I am truly sorry.

Nan

James, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Just know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Annette

The visitation yesterday was heartwarming. My home town is only about 13,000, including the surrounding farming community.

The funeral director came to my father and said that she was going to have to take pages from another sign-in book to accomodate all the people that would be signing in for the funeral because the volume of people signing in for the visitation alone had nearly filled the book.

After public visiting there was still two hours where family could receive friends and we never sat down the entire time.

Dad had a good turn out of supporting friends.

James, who really appreciates everyone leaving messages of support.

Well I'm sorry to hear about your mom , James.

Sorry to hear that such wonderful people as you and your wife have to suffer such a loss. Your mom must have been a wonderful woman.

I'm sorry to hear about your mom, James, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Hi James,

I've only just had time to log on and I saw your very sad news.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your whole family.

Many you all be spared for any more pain and suffering and may He also comfort you and grant you all his blessing of Peace.

With regards,

Stuart from London