Lois & Clark Forums Forums General Discussion Lois & Clark Caption Competition XVIII

Thanks, Julie! Hrm, now to find a new picture... no, not enough humor.. no, this won't do either.. eewww... oh, here we go!



Have at it, kids, let's see what you can do with this!

Lois: Clark what happened here? It looks like a tornado hit!
Clark: Yea you could say that it was Superman!
Lois: Yea right Clark like Superman would mess up his best friend's apartment
Superman: HAHAHA I messed up your apartment and Lois doesn't believe you!

--
Superman: Ha! Gotcha! Now *you* find that paper, and *I* am taking Lois to dinner!
--

AnnaBtG.

Lois: Honey, you know, I am all for getting totally into a story, but don't you think you're taking this multiple personality thing you're going to write about a little too seriously?

---
Bernd

Clark: You had Superman cloned?!

Lois: Hey, I said I'd do anything to have Superman for a boyfriend! It's just a shame the original wasn't interested...

------------------------------------------

Clark: Lois, I don't believe this! I just quit my job, acknowledged that you're a far better reporter than I could ever hope to be and declared my undying love for you, and you're going to elope with Superman???

Lois: Sorry, Clark; he asked me first.

Superman: Ready to start a life of endless pleasure and extacy, Lois?

Lois: Okay, but let's hurry up; my alarm clock goes off in half an hour.

------------------------------------

Until today, Clark never subscribed to the Taoist belief that everyone on earth has a double.

Lois (thinking to herself and looking back at Superman then Clark): I thought I had this whole thing figured out. I was just waiting for him to tell me. (now to Clark) "I thought you were Superman."

Clark: "I thought I was too. I mean..."

Melisa

Clark: Man Lois! What have you and superman been doing?!
Superman: 1 guess. *wink*
Lois: Errrr.....

Lois (adressing Supes dummy): "Try this for a deep dark secret: The great flying guy, Superman... He doesn't exist. I invented him. It was working like a charm. Until Clark Kent floated in, told me he was from Krypton and assumes Superman's identity. We never mix business with pleasure. Well...almost never. Well..."

Clark : Okay. lemme guess. Remington Steele reruns?

Jet-lagged-Carole <--- need I say more?

Clark: Lois...? Is that what I think it is?!?!

Lois: (Blushing & stamering)Uhh...no...its...umm...

Clark: I can't believe it was you that took the life size Superman statue from the park!

Lois: Borrowed! I borrowed it!

OKay, after much deliberation, dice rolling, and going eeny-meeny-miney-moe... oh, wait, that was the Kerths. Anyway, the winner for this round is Queen of the Capes. You're up!

Me?! Oh thankyou, Yipee!
*/me runs off to find picture*

Okay, I'm back. Let's try this one:

Perry(to Lois, Clark and Jimmy): "FREEZE!"

villain, offstage: MWAHAHAHAHA!! my evil glass-b-gone ray can make anything made of glass disappear, along with whatever is inside it! be amazed at my awesome power! that glass of water you're pouring there, kid? HAHAHA!

<ZAP>

jimmy: <gasp> he did it!

clark: uhm, excuse me? i'm curious... just how, exactly, are you planning to use this to take over the world?

villain: well, i'll, er... zap the lenses out of everyone's glasses, causing mass panic and confusion, and then i'll... uhm...

clark: you do know that those lenses are made out of plastic, not glass, right?

villain: what? oh, right... well, then, i'll... uhm... give me a sec...

lois: can you believe this guy? he isn't even worth the ink it would take to print up a sidebar.

---

perry: okay, everyone. this here is the new jeep. it's a demo model on loan to the paper for a big ad campaign. now, i know it takes up a lot of room, but i need you all to be careful with it. one scratch on the paint and we'll be out a lot of money, not to mention how it'd ruin the publicity pictures.

lois, thinking: oh, now that's a car.

jimmy, thinking: man, i can just imagine myself behind the wheel of that thing...

clark, thinking: how the heck did he get that up here? no way it would fit in the elevator...

---

jimmy: ... so then i punched him, like this! and he...

perry: jimmy! what do you think you're doing?

jimmy, thinking: uh-oh. busted. ... whoa, what's he wearing?

lois, thinking: huh. you know, i'd never have thought it, but the hawaiian shirt look actually works for him...

clark, thinking: the whole "heba hoba hooba haba" thing was last week. why is he still dressed like that?

----

perry, singing: you ain't nothin' but a hound dog...

jimmy, thinking: okay, so the left hand goes like this, and then you have to...

lois, thinking: oh, great. he's doing his elvis thing again.

clark, thinking: huh. he's actually good at this. he looks like he could be a professional impersonator. hmm, what's that say? "the church of blue suede deliverance." i wonder...

---

tv: earlier today, superman was lured into a boxing match with a -- can you believe this? -- a cyborg boxer. we have exclusive footage of the bout...

lois, thinking: mmmm... superman...

jimmy, thinking: okay, so he holds himself like this, and goes for the jab like this...

clark, thinking: does the suit really look like that from the back?

Perry (from offscreen): What is this: the gaming tables at the Hardrock Casino or the Daily Planet? Jimmy, how many times have I told you to teach Lois and Clark how to play rock, paper, scissors on your own time?

Jimmy: Chief, I'm just getting to the good part. See, when you have two rocks, you have a tie...

Jimmy: "...and my fish was this big - Aw man! Chief!! Why'd you have to spoil my first ever fishing story by bringing in that shark you caught?!"


Wendy

Clark: Jimmy, what...?
Jimmy: That was not supposed to happen when I pulled those strings!

Julie

--
Jimmy: How dare you call me a young, immature boy, Lois! I usually don't hit women, but this time...
Resplendent [sp?] man (off screen): No! I won't let you!
--

AnnaBtG.

Perry: Of course, I can't see Superman's new cape, there's nothing there! Great shades of Elvis, have you never read "The Emporer's New Clothes"??

JIMMY: "No Chief, I'm *serious*. Superman left a footprint in the mud, and his foot is THIS LONG."
LOIS: (thinking) "WHAT did Jimmy just say?"
CLARK: (thinking) "Oh, boy!"

Artemis

Clark: it's a goose, a swan maybe?

Jimmy: nice try.

Lois: out-of-the-Loch Nessie?

Jimmy: nope. Comme on, it's an easy one!

Perry (OS): Elvis on stage performing "In the ghetto"?

Jimmy (*hopeless sigh*): Cat wrestling for Prada boots at Bloomingdale's sales. Geez! It's the last time I play shadowgraph with you guys...

Perry: (off screen) "Cut it out, you three!"
Clark: "Aww, Chief. I bet money that Lois could beat Jimmy in a fight... Now we'll never know how it turns out."
Jimmy: "You bet on LOIS? C'mon, Clark, put 'em up! I'll show you who could beat who in a fight--!"
Perry: "I said, Cut it out!"

Perry reveals to his team that the Dead Sea Scrolls were never invisible.


TEEEEJ

Well, it's been a couple days, so I guess I ought to pick. After thoroughly going over the captions with a critiquing eye (i.e. going "eeny-meeny-miny-moe) I have selected:

HATMAN!

Nana Nana Nana Nana Hatman! Nana Nana Nana Nana Hatman!

*cough* sorry.

So Paul, yer up.

hey, thanks mary! so, time for a new pic, huh? better go find one...

quick, to the sombrerromobile! atomic batteries to power, beanie copters to speed...

... and i'm back.

okay, let's see what you can do with this one:



Paul

Superman: Hey!What are you doing up there?

(1)Supes, you're taking that "dancing on the ceiling" thing way to literally.

(2) Superman goes (hguuuck!) spit

TEEEJ

--
Lois: Ooooh, look! A flying man!
Dr. Deter (off screen): Lois, he's supposed to fly. He's Superman.
Lois: What is a Superman?
Dr. Deter (to Superman): This amnesia thing, you see...
--

AnnaBtG.

Superman: Can't...maitain...altitude (then falls)
Lois: Ohmigod! Superman are you alright?
Superman: Fine...

Lois: Superman! What happened to you?

Superman: Calm down, Lois. I'm just testing out my new telescopic "Slinky" legs. Dr. Klein and his new lab partner, Inspector Gadget, invented them for me!

- Vicki

Superman: Oh Lois what a terrible place to be when your refried beans come back!

Lois: Oh my little bean burrito baby, I'll go run and get you some Immodium!


(FADES TO BLACK)

(please don't kill me but thats what hit me at that moment...)

Later Days!
Andie

Superman: Lois, you're not gonna stay mad for this! I always liked 'flying on the ceiling'.

Lois : kinda runs in the family. You can fly. I stay earthbounded...and mad.
---
Lois: Men! Flying men!
---

Silly, I know. But I couldn't resist!

Carole

"Oh for crying out loud! Will you come down already? It's just a little mouse, for Pete's sake! Sheesh, to think the world's greatest superhero could go pale at the sight of a little furry thing with wiskers and a tail!"

Lois: Gee, I always thought the Macy's Superman balloon was a lot bigger than that.

Tank (who resisted for a time, but is too tired to care)

Superman: "Shh, Lois! I'm playing hide and seek with Batman - he'll never think to look up here!"


Wendy

well, a few days since the last caption. must be time to pick a winner. actually past time, but i've had an unusal time these past few days.

anyway, this wasn't an easy choice. the latest entries have made it even more difficult. i'm not going to object, mind you. the more the merrier, quite literally.

does make things hard on me, though, when it comes time to pick one.

so, close call, but, in the end, i think i'm going to have to go with... mary!



you're up!

Paul

Me? Moi? Migo? Yippee! Yay, thanks Hatman!

/me runs off to find a picture.

/me runs back. Okay, here:


EDIT:
*sigh*. Friends, everytime I get picked to select a picture, I have to re-figure out how to post it. This time, I couldn't figure it out. Lil' help?

i don't know, mary. it doesn't seem to be you. christiane's other pages load for me just fine, but her page on that ep ("i'm looking through you"?) simply won't load for me. sorry. all i can say is maybe you should try a different ep?

Paul

I can load the page just fine, but I don't know what to type to get that one picture. I have to copy the stuff in the address bar, then right click on the picture to get it's number, then somehow combine the two pieces of information. I forgot how to combine them.

When you are on the page which contains the image, just point your mouse on the image, right-click. Select an option which says something like "view image". A new screen will then appear which will contain the full adress in the address bar.

Hope this helps

The way I do it is right click on the image, select properties, and then capy the URL shown there.

Good luck!

Julie

ah. there we go. not sure what was wrong before, but i got the page to load. and i found the pic. and got the url. so, here we go.

right page, right number... is this the pic you were looking for?




(for future reference, i do exactly what julie said.)
Paul

This is what was in Mary's image properties:
http://www.lagsi.de/lnc/lnc01/01-04a-119.jpeg

This is what is in the properties Paul used:
http://www.lagsi.de/lnc/lnc01/119.jpg

Apart from the stray 'e' in jpg, Mary, you have some additional numbers. Did you right-click on the picture and copy the information in 'properties'?


Wendy

D'oh! I never thought of doing that! All I would do is right click and press "save picture", then memorize the number that showed up in the file name box. Oy, do I feel stupid!

/me smacks head.

Thanks, everybody.

CAPTION:
Mrs. Richbucks, the auctioneer: "Here, have this lifelike statue of Superman greet all your guests at your front door! Stash him in the bedroom and indimidate all want-to-be burglars! Superman is yours to keep forever. I'm going to start the bidding at $1,000 and all proceeds go to charity!"
-----------
My right click has both "Save image" which gets it to my harddrive and "Copy image location", which puts it on the clip board to stick between the [img]and [/img] commands. Quite easy, that.

Artemis
P.S. Superman has no lines because it really is a statue.

Emcee:...and the final outfit in our collection today is a genuine Superman suit model by a very delious looking Dean Cain!

Dean Cain thinking: Could this be anymore embarassing?

(I really got to get my head out of the gutter!)

MC: And now ladies I would like...

off stage voice: One hundred dollars!

MC: Ms. Lane, if you could just restrain yourself...

Lois: Two hundred dollars!

MC: Ms. Lane this is NOT an auction.

Tank (who can't understand why anyone would post a picture that doesn't contain Lois)

emcee: and now, introducing our latest contestant for "your favorite elvis impersonator" ... superman!

superman: thank you, thank you very much. huh.

superman, thinking: how did i let perry rope me into this? even if is for charity... well, at least i've got the cape.

---

superman, thinking: okay, there's lois. i want to give her my valentine's card in person, but i can't let anyone else see. so, just like passing notes in school... i'll shift into super speed mode, dash over there, drop the note in her lap, and come back. she's halfway across the room. if i shift now i should have just enough time to get there and back before the emcee's hand touches my chest.

---

emcee: and now, i'd like you all to welcome a man who needs no introduction, the recipient of this year's "gentleman of the year" award, the man of steel himself... superman!

superman, thinking: that's an interesting ring on her hand. i don't think i've ever seen a ruby that bright. wait a second, that's not a ruby...!

superman, out loud: hey, baby. yeah, you in the back, with the tight skirt. after i get this award, how about you and me go join the mile high club? yeah, without an airplane...

"...and our very newest exhibit at Madame Tussauds: Superman! It took three times as long as usual for our artists to create this waxwork, because Superman kept having to leave to save the day. And do look especially closely at the clothing - Superman donated one of his very own suits to us. Isn't he wonderful, ladies and gentlemen? And on the next dais you can see - yes, it's Batman!"


Wendy

Ultrawoman : A+ for freezing breath. Lets test flying. (taking a step towards frozed Superman) Hum. On second thought, I could try x-ray vision first.

Carole

Well, I guess it's time to pick. It was almost a tie. I really liked this one:

But since Tank made it clear last time that he doesn't do the picture-thing, I'm going with the other caption I wanted to pick: Hatman's "ruby ring" caption had me in stitches. So Hatguy, yer up again!