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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,972 Likes: 10 |
The last thread looked like it was getting kinda full, so I started a new one. I hope no-one minds? So many pictures, it's hard to choose. At first I couldn't make up my mind...then I saw this: ![[Linked Image]](http://www.kachor.de/christiane/lnc03/07097.jpg)
~•~
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Superman: No... sorry, Lois. It's not vodka.
Mulder: Imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. Who would they be?
Scully: I only get five?
Mulder: I remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?
(The X-Files)
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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superman: so, let me get this straight... you're calling yourself "ultrawoman," and you're wearing a purple suit with lavender accents and a teal cape, and you think you have super powers. lois: yes, exactly. superman: and what have you had to eat or drink recently? lois: just that water over there. why do you ask? --- superman: wait, stop! that's not an ordinary bottle of water! delivery man: what do you mean? sure it is. ... oh, it's you, superman. well, if you say so, i'll trust you. <drops the bottle and backs off, quickly.> superman: just as i thought, lois. this is expensive imported mineral water. and the suits upstairs said they couldn't afford to give us a raise! --- kal-el: hmm, odd. this substance appears to be dihydrogen monoxide. why would the earthlings keep it in such a prominent location? do you think it has some sort of cultural significance? --- superman: hmm, yes. clever of him, but i've seen this trick before. the water coolant system has been replaced with a heating system, to excite the ion particles. it was sabatoge! that's why all the drinking water in town is lukewarm! ooo... he's sunk to a new low... --- superman: ah-ha! the water in this tank has been spiked! ultrawoman: with what? alcohol? poison? drugs? superman: no, worse than that. it's... berry blue kool-aid. --- superman: hey, wait a second... this water smells just like that stuff from the space rats, and that means... it's all mine!! --- superman: yes... i see now... it was all a set-up, designed to lure us here... ultrawoman: what is it? what's in the tank? superman: water. ultrawoman: water? superman: yes. careful, lois. we're about to be asaulted with... water balloons! --- superman: this stuff smells familiar. it smells like... what is it? ... i got it! eau de chat #7. wow. cat really buys her perfume in bulk, doesn't she? --- UW: superman, wait! i think that barrel is full of miranda's pheremone perfume. if you smell it now, without your powers, you'll... wait, never mind. sniff to your heart's content, big guy. --- superman: oh no! ultrawoman, you have to get this stuff out of here, fast! UW: what is it? SM: you don't want to know. UW: just tell me. SM: <whispering> it's... a leftover case of crystal pepsi. --- <not sure about this one, but.. what the hey.> SM: lois, quick! get this bottle out of here and replace it with a clean one! UW: what? what is it? SM: well, without my powers, it seems i'm vulnerable to... UW: what? SM: pollen. i just sneezed in the tank. --- UW: is that what i think it is? SM: yup. my next delivery of hair gel. what with air friction and all, i burn through this stuff faster than you'd believe. (note: this caption inspired by a sudden memory of this story by bethy and shivasaavik.)
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Superman: I still don't get it. Why would they make Skittle flavored water?
Ultrawoman: Because it tastes good. Now taste the rainbow for crying out loud! We've got things to do!
JD
LOL, probably not my finest, but I'll get back in shape.
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Lois: Beware, you're gonna ruin your suit and you know how Martha gets touchy on that issue! Carole  LOL, probably not my finest, but I'll get back in shape. It can't be worse than mine 
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Superman: "I don't understand it, Ultrawoman."
Ultrawoman: "Me neither!"
Superman: "There doesn't seem to be anything in there...So what is it that makes these earthlings gather around these 'water cooler' things, anyway?"
"He's a man. I'm a woman. Do you want me to draw you a diagram?" -Lois Lane, I've Got a Crush on You.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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These are all good, but... I'm loving the water cooler one!  PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,972 Likes: 10 |
Originally posted by HatMan:
UW: superman, wait! i think that barrel is full of miranda's pheremone perfume. if you smell it now, without your powers, you'll... wait, never mind. sniff to your heart's content, big guy.
~•~
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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cool, thanks!  glad you liked it. so, new pic. well, see what you can do with this one... (hope it hasn't been used before... not sure.) ![[Linked Image]](http://www.kachor.de/christiane/lnc03/02-60.jpg)
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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OMG! Lois! Did Tank cut your hair AGAIN?
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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The nfic version.... Clark: "When you said you liked things kinky, Lois, I had no idea you'd go THIS FAR!!" -Wanda "My Mind's in the Gutter" Detroit 
"He's a man. I'm a woman. Do you want me to draw you a diagram?" -Lois Lane, I've Got a Crush on You.
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Clark: Lois, tying me with chains made on Kyrpton wasn't what I had in mind when you said you wanted to inject more romance into our relationship!
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched they must be felt with the heart
Helen Keller
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Clark: Lois, when I said I wanted to be more spontaneous, spending the night behind bars was *not* what I had in mind.
Lois: It just goes to show how little you know about theft. When you're stealing a street-sign, you do *not* stop and talk to the cops beforehand.
JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Columnist
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Columnist
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Lois! What do you mean you don't have the key?!
~Anna
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Anonymous
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Clark: "You said I needed some new suits; I said fine. You said I should go to the new clothing store on 41st Street; I said fine. But don't you think you should have mentioned that Rolf was the new tailor and he'd be the one measuring my inseam?!?" Kathy
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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okay. been about a day and a half since the last caption, so i guess it's time to pick a winner so we can get the new pic. this one's a close call. i've gone back and forth on it a few times in the past day or so, when i realized i'd probably have to pick a winner soon. i've been hoping someone else would post something newer and even more brilliant to make it easier for me. it's strange. i was all set to pick one, but then, when i came back and looked them over again, a different one struck me funnier. i guess it all depends on frame of mind when you read them or something. anyway, i'll stop blabbering on. the winner this time is... /sound # drumroll.wav Clark: "You said I needed some new suits; I said fine. You said I should go to the new clothing store on 41st Street; I said fine. But don't you think you should have mentioned that Rolf was the new tailor and he'd be the one measuring my inseam?!?" (though i'm still trying to figure out whether this is rolf's basement or jail, both work really well.) you're up, kathy! Paul
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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LOL, Paul, I'm glad you liked it. It's nice to know I'm not the only one with this sense of humor. OK, here we go ... let's see what you guys can do with this one: ![[Linked Image]](http://www.iph-grenzdyck.de/christiane/lnc02/13-45.jpg) Kathy
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Superman: I see officer, so Graceland is in that direction ready Mr. White?
Perry: Uh Superman I appreciate the offer of a flight to Graceland but this method of transport wasn't what I had in mind.
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched they must be felt with the heart
Helen Keller
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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lol, kathy. i don't know if you really want to claim a shared sense of humor with me, but hey- if you think so, go right ahead. just don't be too surprised when the nice people in the white coats come to check on you. hmm... captions. let's see... --- lois, he says he still won't give you a raise. what should i do with him now? --- the chair goes in that corner, jimmy? okay, if you say so. you know... it's odd. i could swear it was moving. i know i can't see anything on it, but it really feels strange. you're not trying out one of those tricks you learned from baron sunday last night, are you? some kind of rumble chair or something? no, well, if you say so, i believe you. you're the boss. --- you ready, nor? this is it. if i do this, you'll have lost, and you and your army will have to leave the earth and never come back. (of course, if i miss... no, can't think about that...) here goes. eight ball, corner pocket. --- good morning. this is your captain speaking. it's a clear day, 72 degrees and sunny. we'll be cruising today at 7000 feet as we head over towards washington, DC. i have an open taxiway, so we'll be preparing to take off shortly. flight time should be about 1 minute, 15 seconds. our in-flight movie will be a one-handed rendition of "little rabbit foo-foo." unfortunately, we will not have time for beverage service. in case of emergecy, exits are located here, here, and here. please note that federal regulations prohibit smoking on this flight. sit back, relax, make sure your office chair is in the full upright and locked position, and prepare for takeoff. thank you for flying "superman express." ---
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
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