Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Related Unofficial, Alternative, Wacky Kerths

I'm getting excited to be going though the Kerth process for the first time this year, but GOSH doesn't it take forever?

I thought we could have some fun in the mean time and nominate some alternative awards. Of course there will be no official voting, or ceremony, but nominate and discuss to your hearts content.

Some possible categories I thought of were.

Sexiest portrayal of Clark/Lois
Most annoying/danger prone version of Lois
Cutest Clark/Lois
Best Beta Reader
Most 'out of character' Clark/Lois

Etc, etc.

Hmmmm. I'll have to think about this.


Sexiest Portrayal of Clark: Anything written by Sue S. or Female Hawk usually fits that bill nicey. Although, I must I did like pirate Kal from "A Pirate Affair" even though you said he was Smallville Clark, I always imagined him as our Clark.


Cutest Lois: The Egg by Lonnie Iolanthealias) and volunteer to work on a story over 100+ parts (and going, and going, and going) John! Best Betas EVER! (Okay, I still have a soft spot for Lynn S.M. who was my very first beta the boards, even though I know RL limits her betaing time now. )


Most Inviting of Danger Lois would be Terry's Lois from Knock 'em in the Jaw... um, wait, that's not right (scrambles off to eligible list for some cutting and pasting)... When Death Comes Knocking, Punch Him In The Mouth


Scariest Villain: - Lex from Strange ReveLextions by Ultra Lucille
- Intergang from Vampire Murders by Nan
- Lex from Kiss by Classicalla (That's the one with the dog, right?)
Then, again, Lex from After Nightfall: The Return of Superman by bobbart aka Bob Bartholomew fit the bill too

Sweetest Clark That would be hard to narrow down.
-- Practically Married by KatherineKent
-- Cooking Class by Female Hawk

Oh yes for Sue S. I keep thinking of Anton ... but he's not eligible for last year. (Unless we just open this up altogether - I mean, they are unofficial Kerths )

In regards to A Pirate Affair and Kal - Yay, thanks for thinking of him. I know it's a Smallville story, but I think I wrote my characterization more 60/40 with Dean as the 60. It's switched back and forth between them in my head when I'm re-reading.


I've only got 2 at the moment and I couldn't choose between them. KenJ and Morgana - you are the best.


Oh my goodness yes. Definitely.


Lex in After Nightfall, def. *shudders*

Aww thanks for the vote. I agree on Cooking Class. So sweet.

Most wacky alt universe
Loveable by Mary Potts

Most (purposefully) unexpected 'out of character'
Unfaithful - Queen of the Capes.
- - Lois two timing
- - Clark lying (about something other than being Superman, that is)

Best 'guest star'
Castle and Beckett in T.O.G.O.M. 2013 - Tank Wilson

Well, if you want actual titles: Sue did have "The Ears Have It" and "Fire Drill" which were very drool worthy. And of course, Female Hawk's "Cooking Class". I thought of another one. RodStewFan's "Cold Feet". Although, it could also win for "Sweetest Clark".

I just started watching S8 of Smallville last night and it looks like Tom Welling finally developed the physique for CK/SM. I was like "Whoa! Where did those broad shoulders and chest come from?" The added benefits of a script writer's strike in Hollywood, I guess.

Another contender would be Mouserock's "The Dinner Party".

Not "Gender Bender" by Shane Terry?

Oh, then you can't forget RodStewFan's SOLD! To the Highest Bidder

*squeals* Yes, yes, yes. Finally. You were only on S5 when I joined the boards. You are gonna have such a great time now. S8, 9 and 10 are the best (although I do admit to missing out a certain few episodes in the second half of S8 whenever I re-watch). But ... Instinct, Committed, Identity, Bride, Legion, Infamous ... yeah. And that's just S8.

Oh yeah. It's a possible. But these are all just discussions obviously!

*laughs* yeah, that was so hilarious.

Best Title
Come on. It can be hard to find that title which will capture peoples attention so ... here's my suggestions for most inspired titles...

When Death Comes Knocking, Punch Him In The Mouth
Revenge of the Bride of the Twelve Thirsty Butchers
The(Semi) Annual Safety Seminar

Sexiest portrayal of Clark/Lois: “Fire Drill” by Sue and "A Pirate Affair" by KatherineKent. Imagining Clark as a pirate is very sexy and hot!

I agree. Clark from seasons 8 to 10 seems another character. I guess Lois brought out the best in him in every sense.

Most annoying/danger prone version of Lois: I would say "Wrong Clark" but it's not eligible. So, "When Death Comes Knocking, Punch Him In The Mouth" by Terry. Totally danger prone.

Cutest Clark/Lois: Waiting in Line by KatherineKent. Cuties!

Most 'out of character' Clark/Lois: Terrible Teen Paranormal Romance Story: LNC Style

Scariest Villain: Tempus from Early Intervention by Female Hawking <<shudders>> and Lex from After Nightfall: The Return of Superman by Bob
Sweetest Clark: Clark from Cooking Class by Female Hawk

Best 'guest star': Dean Cain from from Far From Fiction by Mozartmaid

Most wacky alt universe: Terrible Teen Paranormal Romance Story: LNC Style by AnnieB

Most disturbing alt universe: The Lingering Night by Lynn and Strange ReveLextions by Ultra Lucille

Most creative title: Revenge of the Bride of the Twelve Thirsty Butchers by Queen of the Capes

Andreia

LOIS: I won! I won! I won! What do you mean I'm *not* eligible?

Um... thanks?

Your Lois must win the most-danger-prone category next year, if she makes it alive.

I love these!

My nomination for most consistently funny fanfic feedback is Darth Michael, hands down.

Joy,
Lynn

Okay nomination for the real Kerths end tonight. I thought I'd do a summary of the 'Wacky Kerths' nominations. I've tried to find every comment and fit it in somewhere.

Sexiest Portrayal of Clark:

-- The Ears Have It by Sue S
-- Fire Drill by Sue S
-- Cooking Class by Female Hawk
-- A Pirate Affair by KatherineKent
-- Cold Feet by RodStewFan

Cutest Clark/Lois:

-- The Egg by Lonnie
-- Waiting in Line by KatherineKent

Best Beta Readers:

-- ALL of Virginia R's
-- Both of KatherineKent's - KenJ and Morgana

Most 'Inviting of Danger' Lois:

-- When Death Comes Knocking, Punch Him In The Mouth by Terry Leatherwood

Scariest Villain:

-- Lex - Strange ReveLextions by Ultra Lucille
-- Intergang - Vampire Murders by Nan
-- Lex - Kiss by Classicalla
-- Lex - After Nightfall: The Return of Superman by bobbart aka Bob Bartholomew
-- Tempus - Early Intervention by Female Hawk

Sweetest Clark:

-- Practically Married by KatherineKent
-- Cooking Class by Female Hawk
-- Cold Feet by RodStewFan
-- The Dinner Party by Mouserocks

Most wacky alt universe:

-- Loveable by Mary Potts aka Queen of the Capes
-- Gender Bender by Shayne Terry
-- Terrible Teen Paranormal Romance Story: LNC Style by Annie B

Most disturbing alt universe:

-- The Lingering Night by Lynn S.M.
-- Strange ReveLextions by Ultra Lucille

Most (purposefully) unexpected 'out of character':

-- Unfaithful by Mary Potts aka Queen of the Capes
-- Gender Bender by Shayne Terry
-- Terrible Teen Paranormal Romance Story: LNC Style by Annie B


Best 'guest star':

-- Castle and Beckett - T.O.G.O.M. 2013 by Tank Wilson
-- SOLD! to the Highest Bidder by RodStewFan
-- Dean Cain - from Far From Fiction by Mozartmaid

Best Title:

-- When Death Comes Knocking, Punch Him In The Mouth by Terry Leatherwood
-- Revenge of the Bride of the Twelve Thirsty Butchers by Mary Potts aka Queen of the Capes
-- The (Semi) Annual Safety Seminar by Lynn S.M.

Best Feedback giver:

-- Darth Michael

If you are on our list ... then you are a winner, yay!

More names can be added. More categories can be added. Come on. Show appreciation for the variety of writers and ideas and styles we get on our boards.

Michael

Added for clarification only, not for criticism.

I'm certain Shane is thrilled by this award - and Shayne is an outstanding writer who deserves all the accolades which come his way - but this story is mine, not his. So I thank the Wacky Committee for this honor and applaud the other authors on this list for their well-deserved wins.

May I suggest that an appropriate award be a picture of Roger Rabbit (from the movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit?) pressed between two panes of glass?

Argh, argh, argh.

So, so sorry. I admit, it's all my fault. Getting the list together I saw the name Terry and my brain went . All changed above. Hope I've got it correct now. Guess I need to add a new category.

Biggest Mistake:

--KatherineKent (Victoria)

Sorry, category not allowed. Nomination disqualified.

You know as well as I do that the only people who don't make mistakes are the people who don't do anything. I'm a computer programmer, and the only programmers I've ever known who didn't have bugs in their code were the few who never actually wrote anything. You took the reins on this and ran with it so we could have some fun. Your motives were pure and your execution almost flawless. So you don't get to clobber yourself, not for this little blip.

Besides, it's not as if either Shane or I were injured by this tiny boo-boo. In fact, I'm honored that anyone would confuse anything I'd written (even just a title) with what he's accomplished.

Thank you for your enthusiasm, Victoria. You make this old hack feel WAFFy all up inside.