Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Related Lines I Love But Had To Cut

Per Mrs. Luthor's request that I share more of my cutting room floor (deleted scenes), I thought about adding this thread. Lines you had to cut from a story that you liked, but it didn't work for some reason or another.

I've got 1000 of them, but I'll share this rant of Alt-Clark's to Lois from Missing Lois:

“I hear about your dreams, about how you work together, and how happy you are together, and are great together you are, it’s all a reminder of how I’ll never have that… with her.” He took another deep breath. “So, don’t take this personally, but I can’t anymore. No more telling me about your dreams, no more calling out for me, when you want him, no more holding my hand when you’re in pain. No more being Lois Lane. Can you be just Lucy El for the little time you have left here? H. G. Wells is probably on his way now to take you home to your Superman and then what will I be left with? A bunch of questions from my friends I don’t want to answer? A live-in father-in-law? A giant Lois sized hole in my heart, because I won’t even have you to remind me of her anymore. And I’m afraid I might forget her again and what if she’s out there, waiting for me to rescue her, and I just give up?”

This line got cut because it was too angry for the scene and would have turned the story in a direction I didn't want to go. But I loved having alt-Clark finally stand up to Lois and tell her off. (Two points if you know where in the story it was cut from. )

What is the favorite line you had to cut from a story and never got to use?

Hi Virgnia,

Do I get one point from knowing it was early enough for me to have BR-ed it?

Thanks for starting this thread. I've a line that, although technically not cut from a story I wrote, I've tried to work into a story. I've never succeeded, but now you've given me the opportunity to share it.

Someone (Jimmy, perhaps) would say the following about first season Lois' attitude toward Superman: She worships the ground he flies over.

Joy,
Lynn

Oooh. I like that one.

Yes, you get one point.

Fabulous idea for a thread! It's one of the reasons I hate editing my stories. (Re-reading them? Yes. Tweaking turns of phrase and small mistakes? Absolutely. But cutting out good lines just because they end up "not fitting well"? WAAAAAAAAH )

For my Harry Potter writing, I ended up creating a file with the deleted scenes I liked. I've named it FFR (For Future Reference). I'm going through it right now and thinking "WHY did I delete these scenes? How can I have written anything better to replace them?"

Anyways, thanks for the rambling space, but I'm afraid I don't have any L&C lines to share at the moment. If I finally end up editing any of my old un-Archived stories, I might contribute a bit.

Also - this looks interesting! I think I must find time to fit Missing Lois in my reading schedule.

I'm not one to talk. I developed an entire alternate storyline revolving around a scene I just couldn't keep in the story because it would have launched the story in a whole different direction.

Off to go scour my hard drive(s) now...

(and yes! That means I finally got my external hard drive off my old laptop downloaded and returned to me successfully! Woo-hoo! I can finally continue with stories that I've been forced to neglect for WAY too long... )

Congratulations! I know you've missed it.

Oh wow, I'm pretty sure I know *where* in the story you pulled that from, V, but I couldn't tell you which part. I read the entire thing over the span of like a week? Maybe two? It all just blends into one big part for me now lol

How fun! I hope more people post here. This isn't anything spectacular, but it's a cutting room floor scene from A New Hero which I swear will one day be finished.


For two weeks, Clark worked at home but still had to take it easy when he went back to the Planet. He was put on desk duty. Desk duty, of all things. Jimmy wouldn't hear of anything else, though, and ironic as it was, Jimmy was his boss, now, so he had no choice. No one questioned the mountain climbing accident. Except for 'welcome back', the only comment he got was from Cat, who had been back at the Planet for a few years, now. “So, tiger,” she purred, “not much of a mountain climber, eh? Maybe Cat can kiss it and make it aaalll better.”

Clark had responded, “Cat! Please!”

“Oh, yes, please.” She smiled and kissed him on the cheek. He just ignored her as he usually did. She was relatively harmless.

Zared made quite an entrance when he walked into the Planet for his exclusive interview with Clark Kent. Cat shamelessly flirted with him saying she thought he looked like Dancing Fire. Thus, strange as it was, Cat Grant named him, and Clark's wonderful article was titled “Dancing Fire Comes to Metropolis”.

Classicalla, this sounds very interesting. Please finish! Where's Lois? Why isn't she with Clark? Was Clark really hurt mountain climbing? What happened to Perry? Why is Cat naming superheroes? Who is Zared? And Dancing Fire? So many questions, you tease! Go! Write! Now! (And THIS was your deleted scene/line?!)

I think, so far, I've managed to weasal my favorite lines/scenes into my stories, even if I had to tweak them in order for them to work. We'll see how it goes for further fics though.

Thanks, Virginia. The story went off in another direction. Dancing Fire got renamed but it is a great name, isn't it?

Here's the a little more from that scene but it will likely be used in the story:

Clark also wrote an article about the Metropolis Mutilator. The police still didn't really know much about his motives behind the murders except that it had something to do with the desert. Zared nor Clark had found out how he had gotten kryptonite, but at least now it was safely tucked away at S.T.A.R. Labs. There was still the trial to come and Superman, Jenni, and Zared would all have to testify.

Zared is Clark's son. And, no, Clark wasn't hurt in a mountain climbing accident. The Metropolis Mutilator tried to murder him and very nearly succeeded. Perry is retired.

As for Lois - you won't like that part. I got a lot of flack over it. She is in the story as she is traveling through time from an earlier point in her life, but she is dead during the time of the story.

Oh, and I have so many deleted scenes.... This story is a monster. I'm still working on it, but my life kind of went crazy, and, thus, I haven't posted more parts. And I plan on changing a few things.

If you are still interested, here's the TOC:

A New Hero

Ooooh, too many to mention. I never felt any of them were wasted at the time - I always knew that the right story would arrive at some point that would fit them, so I had a bulging file with all those snippets in it, ready and waiting.

Of course, then I gave up writing, so....

You got me curious, so I did track down my old holding file. But was somewhat disconcerted to discover that all of the snippets had a decidedly unpostable nfic content....

LabRat

Here's another one from my cutting room floor. It was supposed to be the start of a story. I like what I have written, but I haven't been able to get far. I am usually an outliner, but this was my attempt at discovery writing. It succeeded only in convincing me to continue outlining. I have no clue where the story would go after the couple of pages that I have already written.

I am italicizing the quote because it is italicized in the story, to indicate that it is the start of a letter sent to Lois.

I live in Cowsheads. Go ahead and laugh -- Everyone else does. And yes, it is a small town. I love it here. But the thing about small towns is that everyone knows everybody else’s business, so I know that what is happening here ought to be impossible.

Joy,
Lynn

Intreguing, Lynn. I hope your muse sees this and stops back by for an extended visit.

Actually, since I just cut 3 parts from my current story I'm working on (don't ask I never work with outlines, but this story demands it). And by cutting those parts, I figured out a way to save the "feeling" of those scenes by coming up with new NFIC story idea (now added to my very long to-do list). Oooh. I wonder if my Batman joke that I had to cut could work in that story as well... Close a door, open a window.


Deleted from GEM:

I desperately wanted to use this in my current WIP, but I couldn't fit it with the rest of the story mood. If anyone else can use it, go ahead.

/Henderson to Superman/

"I know where Bernie keeps the shiny green rocks, Kent. You want to test that?"

Mouserocks, that is awesome. I love it.

That's awesome. You should make that a challenge to start a story that way!

Hmm... I might just do that!