Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Related FFQ: Child Birth (Tank, do not open this thread)

Okay, I have a question about child birth. How dilated (I think that's the right word) would a woman normally be when they start telling her to push?

How dilated would she be when they get the doctor?

Oh, and how far apart would labor pains be during her final stages of labor? For example, if when she arrived at the hospital, her pains were... (x number of minutes apart) would that tell the nurses that she was going to give birth any minute?

Thanks,

ML

Oh, oh. One more question (for now). If there was a man with her and she refused to let go of his hand, would they allow him to stay - or would they drag him away to get him changed into something more sterile? Or how might that work?

LOL <snort, snort, SNORT!>

I'm sorry ML, I haven't had any children and have no idea. If I happen to come across the info, I'll definitely share with you. <g> But I just had to come laugh at the title of your question... it completely cracked me up!

As someone not in the medical field but did have a baby - the cervix needs to be at 10 centimeters before a woman is told to push. As to how far apart the contractions have to be - it really depends. I know women who didn't even know they were in labor until their water broke. But I recall being told that at 5 minutes apart is a good time to get your behind to the hospital. But even that's not written in stone - some women sit for hours, even days, with contractions at 5 minutes apart but not dilating much. (This one I know from experience.)

They're not likely to tell a woman the baby is on its way until the baby crowns (they can see the top of its head.)

As to whether or not someone who is not gowned would be allowed in the delivery room - it's doubtful anyone would tell the woman 'no, your coach/husband/boyfriend/local superhero can't be here'. They might throw a sterile gown over him and tell him to stay by her head, but that's about all. In any case, she'd be draped with sterile sheets.

I mean, let's face it - babies are delivered in taxi cabs and in restrooms. A guy standing by the woman's head isn't going to mess things up too much (unless she's having a C-section - in which case she'd be draped anyway.

Oh, so Lois is going to have a baby (this is, after all, a FFQ)

And your title really made me laugh (as did DJ's snorting; I still can't get over the sound of the word "snort")

No one else has answered so I'll suck it up and give you my lovely experience. I went into labor almost a month early (and I honestly didn't believe it was *really* labor - but my husband was smart enough to figure out that my "cramps" were very predictable).

So we went to the hospital and they checked me out. At the time I was dilated to a 2 and they would have sent me home but my blood pressure had skyrocketed (stressed? moi?). So they told me that I was having our son that very day. And I locked myself in the bathroom and had a small freakout (which did nothing to relieve my sudden spike in BP).

Given that this was my first child, they figured it would take me hours and hours. My mom told me that women in my family always go fast but they pooh-pahed that idea. Four hours after I had been admitted to the hospital I was only to a 3 and they broke my water for me. Within two hours I was begging Mark to go and tell them that the baby was coming. When a nurse finally sauntered in (seriously, she could not have been more irritated that I was complaining) and checked me, she went RUNNING from the room and suddenly there were people everywhere, pushing carts and moving furniture.

My husband was allowed to stay the entire time. I've had a couple of friends (and one batty sister-in-law) who have had something close to a neighborhood block party in the delivery room and no one shooed them out. As long as they didn't get in the way and the mom wants them there, the hospital lets them stay.

But, like was said above, you have to be dilated to a 10 before they start telling you to push. Or, in my case, NOT to push. Wait for the doctor! Don't push!

There were also issues with the epidural, the episiotomy and my son not breathing when he was first born - but I'll keep those back unless you think the info would help.

Every woman's delivery is different - my little charmer was technically three weeks late (me thinks the doctor couldn't read a calendar.) This was 22 years ago. Ended up with an ultrasound, tests I've forgotten the names of and wouldn't to repeat. Finally went into labor (I knew it was labor, hurt like the dickens.) Got to the hospital, no dilation. They send me home, tell me and hubby to come back when the contractions are closer together or Monday - whichever comes first. We go to pizza and a movie, go back to the hospital on Monday to be induced.

TWO DAYS on IV with drugs. Stuck for hours at 9.5 cm. This was a teaching hospital so everybody and his freakin' brother is wandering through. Finally the head of the department comes through and tells me he has an emergency C-section next door and if my kid isn't ready to be born by the time he comes back I was going to be next. I never worked so hard in my life.



And yes, women do threaten their husbands and bystanders. I threatened to murder my stepmother when she showed up at the hospital.

It's dangerous to ask women for birth info, because we all have our stories!

I think 10 cm is correct. I don't remember anything about the timing of contractions. I can tell you that if the water has already broken, they want the baby to be born within 24 hours, because otherwise the risk of bacterial contamination is higher. (At least this was true 15 years ago, with my daughter.) So they will induce if necessary. I will also tell you that there is an old wives' tale that vacuuming the carpet will bring on labor; I did not know this until I did it and it made my water break. (She was already overdue.)

With my son (18 years ago), he "crowned" (they could see the top of his head), and the nurse said "We'll be done in an hour!" Three hours and 45 minutes later I was still pushing, and it took two nurses pushing on my abdomen, a vacuum-cleaner-like thingy (that didn't work), and forceps that looked like a large pair of salad tongs to pop him out. My daughter was much quicker, which was good, because they had her on a heart rate monitor and her heart rate was dropping. Turned out she had tied a knot in her umbilical cord, so they whisked her away for a special checkup as soon as she was born; I was angry because they would not bring her back, and I was afraid they would give her a bottle (which they did, against my orders), so I would have gotten up and gone after her, but my body was so dead from the epidural that I could not move. I told my husband to go get her instead, but he didn't do it--come to think of it, it's 15 years later, and I'm not sure I've forgiven him for that yet.

Alternatively, I think it depends on what hospital you go to. My friend had her baby and no one but the two people she designated before hand could come up with her while she had her baby and they had to sign a waiver of some sort. Everyone else had to wait in the waiting room.

It depends on the hospital and the doctor/nurse midwife you have. I had a midwife both times, and it was a very laid back experience. When my first child was born, it was only my husband (now ex-husband) and I in the room (our choice). When my second was born, my fiancé’s large family was in the room during labor and my sister-in-law and mother-in-law stayed for the birth along with my fiancé. He actually helped deliver our son (what they call "catching the baby").

As for pushing, 10 cm is correct. Didn't have a problem with that the first time. The second time my body got all out of whack. I wasn't dilating past 7 and had the uncontrollable urge to push, which is definitely NOT recommended.

As for timing of the contractions, five minutes apart is the normal recommended time to get to the hospital (as far as I can remember.)

Unfortunately, that all changes when you have complications and have to be induced. I will not get into that story, though. I've rambled on enough as it is.

Hope that helps!

Well, this is from a former labor and delivery nurse, as well as the mother of seven (five normal deliveries and one C-section for twins).

As they say, every pregnancy is different, however, for a first baby, they tell you to come in when the contractions are five minutes apart. For a woman who has already had a baby, they generally tell you to come in when the contractions are regular because after that first one things can go fast. They don't want you to push before you are 10 cm because you can cause swelling of the cervix and end up being unable to have the baby normally, which of course means a C-section.

My first labor started when I was asleep. I recall feeling something give, which is what woke me up. I wasn't even really awake then, but my husband tells me that I leaped out of bed like a jackrabbit and ran for the bathroom. Once there, I realized I was leaking water and knew that the water had broken, so I walked back to the bedroom and told my very sleepy husband what had happened. He kind of grunted and asked if I was having any contractions, and right at that point I felt the first one. (To give you some idea of how fast I moved, I didn't get a drop of water in the bed. The wet spots started in the hall.)

Anyway, we both figured it would be a while, but that first contraction was the only one that was mild. The next one was about two minutes or so later and it *hurt*. I had a couple more, each closer than the one before, and stronger, and my husband called the hospital.

The nurse at the other end was amused at the new daddy-to-be calling up to tell her my contractions had started about fifteen minutes ago with the water breaking and she told him to just relax, and to bring me in when they got down to five minutes. He told her they'd never gotten *up* to five minutes and then it was "You idiot! Get her in here right now!" I'm sure she didn't really call him an idiot, but he felt like she was treating him that way. He was kind of annoyed. Anyway, we went in, and I was 6 cm. when they checked me. To make a long story short, from the water breaking to delivery was four hours and fifteen minutes. We'd done Lamaze, which was a darned good thing. I didn't have any anesthesia because things went so fast that by the time I started thinking seriously about it, it was already too late. I think this underlines the bit about every labor being different. (The next one took under two hours and we almost didn't make it to the hospital <g>)

And about the man in the delivery room bit. With our fifth child they got mixed up and thought it was my first. We kept telling them it was number five but they were so rushed that nobody listened. I came in in hard labor and they were ultra casual, leaving us alone for what seemed hours. I'd been there about forty minutes when I could tell it was time and I told my hubby to get the nurse. He went out and was begging someone to come in. They thought he was just the typical scared daddy and pretty much ignored him. He got kind of pushy about it and finally here comes the doctor strolling casually in asking me (I still remember this word for word!) "Well, Mrs. Smith, is this your first baby?" Argh!

I was in the middle of a massive contraction and I just splayed my hand out and screamed at him "It's my *fifth*!" You should have seen his expression change <g> Anyway, things got really busy right then, the doctor checked me and asked if I really wanted to go to the delivery room (which, thank God, they don't do anymore, mostly). I said that I didn't, and he said that we'd have the baby right there. Hubby didn't even have a gown on. He just stood next to me and coached. And yes, you do yell at people. I yelled at the doctor because he seemed to be moving so slowly while I was having this massive need to push. Things turned out all right after all that and we had our third daughter. I was pretty ticked off about the whole thing for quite a while (like 23 years later <g> )because things could have really gone bad. The cord was around her neck, and they just plain *wouldn't* listen while we kept telling them that this was not #1 but #5. Chuck told me he was almost ready to haul one of the nurses in there by sheer muscle by the time the doctor deigned to come in and see why we were making such a fuss.

Nan

I think we have now successfully scared ML out of having kids. (And possibly Tank, too.)

Not having in children I can't speak from experience but I can relate what my mother told me about my own birth as related to the other 4 kids(many, many,many years ago). I was quick they all took about 12 hours of labor. What was the difference.

I was to be induced. Operative word WAS. You checked in the afternoon before the day you were to be induced. Induction started early the next morning. All prep was done the afternoon/evening before - shaving etc. Anyway come evening meds they give her something to relax her so she'll sleep. Well it relaxed her so much she went into labor at about 10pm. She was in a ward. After a million trips to the bathroom to pee she decided to go to the nurses station and tell them she was in labor. They yell at her to get back in bed and someone will come check her. They do, wheel her out of the room it is now 11pm. She tells them not to call my Dad because she has long labors to call him after the baby is born. Well my Dad gets a call around 1:30 that I had arrived. I came in just about 3 hours - at 1:10 am to be exact. She said I was the easiest baby she ever had because she was already at the hospital. There wasn't the going into labor, making phone calls(doctor and babysitter), getting in the car driving 20-30 miles to get to the hospital, checked in, prepped and then allowed to get down to the business of having the baby. By that time she said she was so warn out who could give birth. That is why she feels her labor was so long with the other kids and mine was so short - she was there and relaxed.

To Silinde

If you like the sound of the word 'snort', I suggest your reread all of ML's stories. I work so hard to get her to cut out that word, and yet there's still an overabundance of snorting going on.

And I'll save the rest of you from my labour and delivery stories.

gerry

The best way to go is: Repeat C-section

I know they don't do those anymore, but I knew what day he would be born at my first Drs appt. I walked into the hospital on my own, no pain, no nothing. They numb you and cut the kid out. The next day I could bend over and touch my toes, felt fine. Of course I paid for it with the first c-section.

Well all ours were born at home, so I can't really give hospital stories, but...

With our second one, Elisabeth was having very healthy contractions and she got a hold of my hand ...trust me, they wouldn't be able to drag the husband/man/unfortunate victim away from that grip. I was fairly certain that I was going to have a bruised hand or a cracked bone. (it is amazing how deformed a hand can become under the right circumstances...)


James

Thanks, guys, for all the information. I hope I can make good use of this to make my story believable.

(Although I am wondering if I should change the title to tell Tank and any woman who might ever want to have a child to stay away from this thread )

ML

quote:

________________________________________________________________
I think we have now successfully scared ML out of having kids. (And possibly Tank, too.)
________________________________________________________________

I have it on the best authority that Tank is an "Old Man" <g> although I think I am actually a couple of years older than he is. I don't think it's likely that he's going to change his attitude about kids at this point.

Actually, ML, if you need any help, you can ask me. I was a labor and delivery nurse and I can pretty much cover anything about a normal L&D that you need to know, although I might have to research some of the more recent procedures, since I stopped practicing a number of years ago.

Nan

Don't worry about me, Nan. 'Cause I can't have children anyway (although for some reason, I'm now feeling unreasonably happy about that fact ).

So maybe the title of this thread should be:

FFQ: Childbirth (Tank and any woman who might want to have children, don't open this thread. On the other hand, if you can't have children, be sure to read every word)

ML

What do you want to make a bet that Tank took a wee little peek? In DJ’s words... “Snort!”


Haha! I think that’s one of the best ‘ones’ I’ve ever heard. I think it may have been coincidence that your water broke. (But now that one about having sex... It's fairly accurate.)


They may have done this for the baby’s benefit. From my experience working in the nursery, I’d say that most likely they were worried that her blood sugar might plummet. And chances are they only gave her sugar water.


And yes, also speaking as a former labor and delivery nurse, 10 cm is correct, but that’s not all. You can be 10 cm and push all you want, but if your cervix isn’t thin enough yet, it won’t do you a bit of good. The cervix thins out so it is nearly paper thin.


Great thread, ML!!

A web page you might be interested in:

Signs of labor - know what to expect (CNN.com)

It actually mentions all (and some more) of what's been written here. I can't say if it's all true (as I'm not a mother), but thought it would help.

This part might explain the vacuuming "myth" (or truth, who knows? ):
BTW, if you are squeamish about seeing blood and injections, DON'T watch the video on the first link at the bottom of the page (only works in IE). YUCK!

malu

Ok I'm freaked out now! Not sure if I can have kids, but still freaked out!

My brother was late and his blood pressure went really low and he was deprived of oxygen for a bit. My Mum decided no more kids after that b/c the hospital staff and the whole experience did not make her feel good or safe.

I was way to early. I don't know anything about my birth.

I am looking forward to your story! I'm not going to add any info b/c it looks like you have a lot

It was true 10 years ago, too. My water broke early on a Saturday morning, but I wasn't yet in labor. You know, a few squeezes now and then, but nothing too strong or regular. My husband & his sister & my best friend & I spent the day waiting impatiently -- I took a few walks around the neighborhood in hopes of encouraging things, but no luck. By that evening, they told us to come in to the hospital. Still no labor, so they started inducing me. I asked for drugs as soon as I heard the word "pitocin." All I really wanted was the edge taken off, but it put me to sleep. I'd wake up for contractions but then zonk out again. I had to call my labor coach the next morning to find out what happened (hubby's a wimp & stayed in the waiting room down the hall--his sister kept him apprised of events). My son was born early Sunday morning.
(FOLC-related note -- this was during 4th season but luckily L&C wasn't on that weekend. Oh, and my best friend was Chris Mulder who I'd met through fanfic)

Second baby, totally different. I had false labor for weeks (including during the Kerth Awards ). Went to the doctor on a Tuesday of the week I was due; she said she wanted to wait a bit more but did something called "stripping the membranes". By that evening, I was having contractions again but was too cynical to do anything but go to bed. I woke up a couple of times in the night to say "ow". I got up around 6 & timed contractions for an hour -- every three minutes like clockwork. My water hadn't broken yet, though.

We called the doc, she said to come in when they, and I quote, "hurt like hell." I decided we were close enough. Had to call a (FOLC) friend to come over and watch our two-year-old, and get Chris to meet us at the hospital, then hubby started driving me in -- 8am rush-hour traffic, of course. The contractions definitely hurt like hell by then. Somewhat to my surprise, I found that the relaxation/breathing thing really does help. By the time we got to the hospital, I was desperate for some drugs; it seemed to take forever to get checked in. I remember walking back the hallway when another contraction hit me; I had to grab onto somebody but I kept walking 'cause I *really* wanted those drugs!

They sent me into the bathroom to change into a hospital gown -- that's when my water broke in a big gush, right into the toilet. I waddled back out and told them I was feeling a very uncontrollable "urge to push" -- they saw I was fully dilated and got the doctor in there asap. "Don't push yet!" they said. Yeah, right. Like that's an option.

Ten minutes later, my daughter was born. The doc got there in time to catch her. Hubby was just outside the room & had just about decided he needed to take a walk when he heard the baby cry.

This is what I call accidental natural childbirth. They managed to give me a local, but that was it. Oh well. It certainly made subsequent trips to the dentist less intimidating. And it was a very easy recovery.

Chris claimed to be annoyed with me 'cause she'd wanted to have the whole day off work, but instead I was done at 9am

They took Marissa away to clean her up, etc, and moved me to a regular room. Three hours later, they hadn't yet brought her back. We had to ask the nurses -- "no, really, I'm pretty sure I had a baby this morning, so where the hell is she???" Turns out they'd heard a heart murmur and took her for x-rays. Nothing serious, though. It just would have been nice if they'd *mentioned* it.

My step-father-in-law was a corporate big-shot at the time, and he was in town that morning for a ceremony that made the papers. To emphasize that he had ties to the area, they reported that even as he spoke, his daughter-in-law was being rushed to the hospital to give birth. We ended up getting a note of congratulation from the governor

PJ

This is the kind of thread that makes me so very glad that I'm a man.

I wouldn't have read a thread with "child" and/or "birth" in the header, but I saw both Tank and Terry's names and thought how bad could it be.I'll know better next time. How about a WHAM warning or something.

Hey, I have enjoyed it! (I'm just waiting for a comment from Tank.... )

Ann

well ... all in all this thread supports my decision NEVER to have children

Hey - nobody died Maybe a gross warning?

As of 3 years ago, the water breaking thing was still accurate. DD2's water broke [while I was teaching class no less - a big gusher too] but I didn't go into labor. That was about 9am. They went ahead and started pitocin at 1230pm or so. She was born right before 4pm.

DS was born 4.5 weeks ago. He was 30 days early [due date was last Friday]. Contractions were coming every 3-4 minutes but I didn't really think they were real b/c they didn't hurt bad enough and he was so early - even though I KNEW he'd be here at least by August 1. Finally decided that we better check in just in case. By the time we go to the hospital and they checked, I was a 5-6. He was born 2.5 hours later, 30 minutes after they broke my water. He was given a bottle almost immediately because he was already low blood sugar. They'd gone to get the vacuum b/c his heart rate was dangerously low during contractions, but he was born before it got there.

DD3 [almost 4], was very similar to Pam's. They stripped my membranes and I went into labor but not consistent or painful enough to go to the hospital. Doc appt had been at 930am or so. About 330am the next day, my water broke [just a trickle this time]. Instantly, the contractions were 2 minutes apart and 30 seconds long and hurt like a big dog. We were only at the hospital for 45 minutes or so before she was born - also pain med free because there was no time. The time between the contractions did get a bit longer near the end [2.5 min?] and I was literally falling asleep between them.

With DS, the lacadasical nurse ticked me off too. I'd told her several times that I tend to go fast once my water breaks/pain meds are in. She 'uh huh'd. They broke my water at an 8. Doc waited a couple minutes to see what happened - nothing so she went to see a couple patients [a 3m walk at normal pace] since she had surgery in an hour. Within 10 minutes I was pushing the button telling them to GET IN HERE. When the nurse finally did... I'm sure she was quite competent etc, but she KNEW his heart rate was dropping and that I was fully dilated and so on, but she couldn't have moved slower if she tried. Doc was on the floor 3 minutes [according to her nurse] and in with her first patient when she had to interrupt them.

As for folks in with you [or Folcs in Pam's case?], they only allow one here. DH had to sign a form that said basically if he passes out/gets hurt/etc. they'll shove him to the side, take care of me and baby and get to him when they can. DH never had to wear scrubs or anything, but I think you generally do for a Csection - but it can depend on the hospital/doc too. Heck, my doc wasn't even really wearing her gown when DS was born - it was thrown on and falling off one shoulder - no hair net thing or booties or anything because he needed to get out NOW. I think you could probably get away with several different things if you wanted to [make him leave to change, make Martha leave or whoever or let them stay]. I also have a friend whose DH wasn't allowed in for her emergency Csection so you could probably pull that off too if you really wanted.

I'll skip DD5 because I have no desire to remember that labor/delivery/post delivery *shudder*. That was horrid.

Carol

Well, I've been laughing out loud on more than one occasion while reading your stories. Some even reminded me of my very own. I mean, I only have one daughter, but that one time in labor was... interesting.

It was about 6 pm, and I was terribly hungry (time for dinner!)when my (now ex-)boyfriend and I got home. I sat down onto the bed to change into my slippers when I felt something give. Like Nan, I moved really quickly and managed to get to the bathroom without getting my undies wet. (Yeah, really, really quick. My boyfriend never even knew I had been anywhere but the bathroom. ) I hadn't realized it by the time, but I had had mild contractions all over the afternoon.

Well, labor started for me right after the water broke. I got contractions about every seven minutes. We got myself into the hospital, which took about 45 minutes. (In Germany, you're told to go to the hospital at once when your water breaks.) At the end of that time, my contractions came every four to five minutes. Exactly the right time to get into the hospital.

Getting me signed in and waiting for a first exam took about 40 Minutes. By then, I was still pretty cool (reading a book, can you imagine?), having heard that the first baby always takes its time. I was examined, and I was already 4 cm dilated. Still, they put me on a CTG for half an hourin order to find out if I had real labor. Well, I could have told them, for the contractions got worse and worse... Still, they told me it would be a long time until my child would be born. After all, it was my first. (I told them it didn't feel like it would take a long time, but what did I know? I didn't have any experience in that matter.)

Still, they decided that I needed an ultrasonic testing, for which I had to wait for about an hour. But what did it matter? There was still enough time left. By then, I was near to asking for pain meds. Finally, I got into the room with the necessary equipment, but it took the doctor some time to arrive. By the time he finally made it, he discovered that he had a little problem, for there was near to no amniotic fluid left - which didn't do the quality of the pictures he could see any good. So, the testing took about half an hour. I could have sworn that I got a few bruises from that.

I got out and was examined once again. (Because I told them it hurt like hell.) Well, were they surprised when they found me nearly fully dilated (8 cm)! They ordered me to wait a few more minutes and then get into the delivery room. There, they told me it would still take a looong time. The nurses wanted to give me an opportunity to get into the bathroom, but since it was occupied for about half an hour, I had to wait. Again. And I couldn't get the spinal anesthesia I asked for. And when the bathroom was finally free, they didn't let me go there any more for fear that I'd have my baby there. By then, I was drugged with some stupid opioids that made me very sleepy. Sleepy enough to literally fall asleep during contractions. Unfortunately, I felt the pain of the contractions just the same as before.

Anyway, my daughter was born after about 4 hours and 30 minutes. Really, a long, long time. And I managed without cursing, without screaming and without breaking anyone's hand. I didn't even threaten my boyfriend should he ever lay hands on me again. Nothing like that. But when that nice, young doctor decided to stitch me back together (I had several ruptures *to the front* plus an episiotomy) without any anestesia at all, I finally screamed. I mean, imagine someone putting a needle through your most tender parts. Repeatedly. I really could do with a local anesthesia at least. Don't you think?

I'll second that.

Actually, my sister-in-law pretty much had it sewn up before I read the thread. I can't remember how long she was in labour with her first, but I remember it was a dang long time. Days.

It took them a while to listen to her telling them something was wrong, but, eventually, they realised that Amy had her left foot firmly stuck between two of mum's ribs and was going nowhere without help.

The poor little mite had to wear a plaster on her leg for six months after the birth and there was a lot of talk that scared my SIL rigid about damage to the bone and tons of operations in Amy's future and her having to wear calipers until she was a teenager, which happily turned out not to matter. The plaster came off and she was fine. But she looked dang pathetic for a while there.

LabRat (who found this thread interesting, to her surprise, as usually she shares Tank's aversion to anything remotely related to baby talk...)

This makes me wonder; why do WOMEN always have to be the ones to get pregnant? Why can't men just do that for us? I mean, they hold open the doors for us, too...

Ditto for DD5 and why I've blocked it. I'd had the epidural but it had worn off or something and I felt everything. If he gave me locals, they didn't work. My SFIL had to leave the hallway outside the room because he couldn't stand to listen to me scream anymore.

Only it wasn't a nice, young doctor. He was near the end of his practice and DH would still dearly love to meet him in a dark alley - he was yelling at me to hold still and I was yelling back that I couldn't because it hurt too badly. Worst 45 minutes of my life.

I was literally bawling when I talked to my new OB about it because I couldn't handle the thought of going through that again. Fortunately, she reassured me and actually told me she thought it at least bordered on malpractice and that if anyone in her office did something like that to me they'd have to answer to her.
Carol

Both of mine were relatively mundane, I guess... With my first, all the rolling from left side (as my blood pressure was high) to my back for each contraction and then back again crimped off the epidural tube, but when I yelled, the doc fixed that. The second time, the nurses were slow to react to my request for pain meds (and the nurses weren't within reach ) but again, the doc was very accomodating about that (same doc; wonderful woman). Still, two kids was it for me. I was allowed whoever I wanted, and no special clothing was required. My husband did joke about "no shoes, no shirt, no service," but the doc was used to him by then (and he was wearing shoes and a shirt, you know, so really, wouldn't you have ignored him, too?). Anyway, yes, I think you can have anybody you want in there. So you could even have her hanging on to a complete stranger and they'd let him in. (Anybody want to write something like that? Plot tidbit, free to a good home...)

'Toc

Well, after that scream, I got that local anesthesia. Okay, the nice young doctor first told me that I was supposed to have gotten some pain meds, but I was rather quick at convincing him that they had long since worn off. He sure didn't like screaming. As I said, *nice* young doctor. Just a little delusional, I'd say.

Roo, don't worry. I think that all mothers agree that each and every one of their babies was worth it. Really. And most of them would do it again. (The rush of "happy hormones" after giving birth sure makes you forget the pain immediately. As a matter of fact, talking about it is sort of... irreal. At least to me.)