Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Related FFQ: Child Birth (Tank, do not open this thread)

Okay, I have a question about child birth. How dilated (I think that's the right word) would a woman normally be when they start telling her to push?

How dilated would she be when they get the doctor?

Oh, and how far apart would labor pains be during her final stages of labor? For example, if when she arrived at the hospital, her pains were... (x number of minutes apart) would that tell the nurses that she was going to give birth any minute?

Thanks,

ML

Oh, oh. One more question (for now). If there was a man with her and she refused to let go of his hand, would they allow him to stay - or would they drag him away to get him changed into something more sterile? Or how might that work?

LOL <snort, snort, SNORT!>

I'm sorry ML, I haven't had any children and have no idea. If I happen to come across the info, I'll definitely share with you. <g> But I just had to come laugh at the title of your question... it completely cracked me up!

As someone not in the medical field but did have a baby - the cervix needs to be at 10 centimeters before a woman is told to push. As to how far apart the contractions have to be - it really depends. I know women who didn't even know they were in labor until their water broke. But I recall being told that at 5 minutes apart is a good time to get your behind to the hospital. But even that's not written in stone - some women sit for hours, even days, with contractions at 5 minutes apart but not dilating much. (This one I know from experience.)

They're not likely to tell a woman the baby is on its way until the baby crowns (they can see the top of its head.)

As to whether or not someone who is not gowned would be allowed in the delivery room - it's doubtful anyone would tell the woman 'no, your coach/husband/boyfriend/local superhero can't be here'. They might throw a sterile gown over him and tell him to stay by her head, but that's about all. In any case, she'd be draped with sterile sheets.

I mean, let's face it - babies are delivered in taxi cabs and in restrooms. A guy standing by the woman's head isn't going to mess things up too much (unless she's having a C-section - in which case she'd be draped anyway.

Oh, so Lois is going to have a baby (this is, after all, a FFQ)

And your title really made me laugh (as did DJ's snorting; I still can't get over the sound of the word "snort")

No one else has answered so I'll suck it up and give you my lovely experience. I went into labor almost a month early (and I honestly didn't believe it was *really* labor - but my husband was smart enough to figure out that my "cramps" were very predictable).

So we went to the hospital and they checked me out. At the time I was dilated to a 2 and they would have sent me home but my blood pressure had skyrocketed (stressed? moi?). So they told me that I was having our son that very day. And I locked myself in the bathroom and had a small freakout (which did nothing to relieve my sudden spike in BP).

Given that this was my first child, they figured it would take me hours and hours. My mom told me that women in my family always go fast but they pooh-pahed that idea. Four hours after I had been admitted to the hospital I was only to a 3 and they broke my water for me. Within two hours I was begging Mark to go and tell them that the baby was coming. When a nurse finally sauntered in (seriously, she could not have been more irritated that I was complaining) and checked me, she went RUNNING from the room and suddenly there were people everywhere, pushing carts and moving furniture.

My husband was allowed to stay the entire time. I've had a couple of friends (and one batty sister-in-law) who have had something close to a neighborhood block party in the delivery room and no one shooed them out. As long as they didn't get in the way and the mom wants them there, the hospital lets them stay.

But, like was said above, you have to be dilated to a 10 before they start telling you to push. Or, in my case, NOT to push. Wait for the doctor! Don't push!

There were also issues with the epidural, the episiotomy and my son not breathing when he was first born - but I'll keep those back unless you think the info would help.

Every woman's delivery is different - my little charmer was technically three weeks late (me thinks the doctor couldn't read a calendar.) This was 22 years ago. Ended up with an ultrasound, tests I've forgotten the names of and wouldn't to repeat. Finally went into labor (I knew it was labor, hurt like the dickens.) Got to the hospital, no dilation. They send me home, tell me and hubby to come back when the contractions are closer together or Monday - whichever comes first. We go to pizza and a movie, go back to the hospital on Monday to be induced.

TWO DAYS on IV with drugs. Stuck for hours at 9.5 cm. This was a teaching hospital so everybody and his freakin' brother is wandering through. Finally the head of the department comes through and tells me he has an emergency C-section next door and if my kid isn't ready to be born by the time he comes back I was going to be next. I never worked so hard in my life.



And yes, women do threaten their husbands and bystanders. I threatened to murder my stepmother when she showed up at the hospital.

It's dangerous to ask women for birth info, because we all have our stories!

I think 10 cm is correct. I don't remember anything about the timing of contractions. I can tell you that if the water has already broken, they want the baby to be born within 24 hours, because otherwise the risk of bacterial contamination is higher. (At least this was true 15 years ago, with my daughter.) So they will induce if necessary. I will also tell you that there is an old wives' tale that vacuuming the carpet will bring on labor; I did not know this until I did it and it made my water break. (She was already overdue.)

With my son (18 years ago), he "crowned" (they could see the top of his head), and the nurse said "We'll be done in an hour!" Three hours and 45 minutes later I was still pushing, and it took two nurses pushing on my abdomen, a vacuum-cleaner-like thingy (that didn't work), and forceps that looked like a large pair of salad tongs to pop him out. My daughter was much quicker, which was good, because they had her on a heart rate monitor and her heart rate was dropping. Turned out she had tied a knot in her umbilical cord, so they whisked her away for a special checkup as soon as she was born; I was angry because they would not bring her back, and I was afraid they would give her a bottle (which they did, against my orders), so I would have gotten up and gone after her, but my body was so dead from the epidural that I could not move. I told my husband to go get her instead, but he didn't do it--come to think of it, it's 15 years later, and I'm not sure I've forgiven him for that yet.

Alternatively, I think it depends on what hospital you go to. My friend had her baby and no one but the two people she designated before hand could come up with her while she had her baby and they had to sign a waiver of some sort. Everyone else had to wait in the waiting room.

It depends on the hospital and the doctor/nurse midwife you have. I had a midwife both times, and it was a very laid back experience. When my first child was born, it was only my husband (now ex-husband) and I in the room (our choice). When my second was born, my fiancé’s large family was in the room during labor and my sister-in-law and mother-in-law stayed for the birth along with my fiancé. He actually helped deliver our son (what they call "catching the baby").

As for pushing, 10 cm is correct. Didn't have a problem with that the first time. The second time my body got all out of whack. I wasn't dilating past 7 and had the uncontrollable urge to push, which is definitely NOT recommended.

As for timing of the contractions, five minutes apart is the normal recommended time to get to the hospital (as far as I can remember.)

Unfortunately, that all changes when you have complications and have to be induced. I will not get into that story, though. I've rambled on enough as it is.

Hope that helps!

Well, this is from a former labor and delivery nurse, as well as the mother of seven (five normal deliveries and one C-section for twins).

As they say, every pregnancy is different, however, for a first baby, they tell you to come in when the contractions are five minutes apart. For a woman who has already had a baby, they generally tell you to come in when the contractions are regular because after that first one things can go fast. They don't want you to push before you are 10 cm because you can cause swelling of the cervix and end up being unable to have the baby normally, which of course means a C-section.

My first labor started when I was asleep. I recall feeling something give, which is what woke me up. I wasn't even really awake then, but my husband tells me that I leaped out of bed like a jackrabbit and ran for the bathroom. Once there, I realized I was leaking water and knew that the water had broken, so I walked back to the bedroom and told my very sleepy husband what had happened. He kind of grunted and asked if I was having any contractions, and right at that point I felt the first one. (To give you some idea of how fast I moved, I didn't get a drop of water in the bed. The wet spots started in the hall.)

Anyway, we both figured it would be a while, but that first contraction was the only one that was mild. The next one was about two minutes or so later and it *hurt*. I had a couple more, each closer than the one before, and stronger, and my husband called the hospital.

The nurse at the other end was amused at the new daddy-to-be calling up to tell her my contractions had started about fifteen minutes ago with the water breaking and she told him to just relax, and to bring me in when they got down to five minutes. He told her they'd never gotten *up* to five minutes and then it was "You idiot! Get her in here right now!" I'm sure she didn't really call him an idiot, but he felt like she was treating him that way. He was kind of annoyed. Anyway, we went in, and I was 6 cm. when they checked me. To make a long story short, from the water breaking to delivery was four hours and fifteen minutes. We'd done Lamaze, which was a darned good thing. I didn't have any anesthesia because things went so fast that by the time I started thinking seriously about it, it was already too late. I think this underlines the bit about every labor being different. (The next one took under two hours and we almost didn't make it to the hospital <g>)

And about the man in the delivery room bit. With our fifth child they got mixed up and thought it was my first. We kept telling them it was number five but they were so rushed that nobody listened. I came in in hard labor and they were ultra casual, leaving us alone for what seemed hours. I'd been there about forty minutes when I could tell it was time and I told my hubby to get the nurse. He went out and was begging someone to come in. They thought he was just the typical scared daddy and pretty much ignored him. He got kind of pushy about it and finally here comes the doctor strolling casually in asking me (I still remember this word for word!) "Well, Mrs. Smith, is this your first baby?" Argh!

I was in the middle of a massive contraction and I just splayed my hand out and screamed at him "It's my *fifth*!" You should have seen his expression change <g> Anyway, things got really busy right then, the doctor checked me and asked if I really wanted to go to the delivery room (which, thank God, they don't do anymore, mostly). I said that I didn't, and he said that we'd have the baby right there. Hubby didn't even have a gown on. He just stood next to me and coached. And yes, you do yell at people. I yelled at the doctor because he seemed to be moving so slowly while I was having this massive need to push. Things turned out all right after all that and we had our third daughter. I was pretty ticked off about the whole thing for quite a while (like 23 years later <g> )because things could have really gone bad. The cord was around her neck, and they just plain *wouldn't* listen while we kept telling them that this was not #1 but #5. Chuck told me he was almost ready to haul one of the nurses in there by sheer muscle by the time the doctor deigned to come in and see why we were making such a fuss.

Nan

I think we have now successfully scared ML out of having kids. (And possibly Tank, too.)

Not having in children I can't speak from experience but I can relate what my mother told me about my own birth as related to the other 4 kids(many, many,many years ago). I was quick they all took about 12 hours of labor. What was the difference.

I was to be induced. Operative word WAS. You checked in the afternoon before the day you were to be induced. Induction started early the next morning. All prep was done the afternoon/evening before - shaving etc. Anyway come evening meds they give her something to relax her so she'll sleep. Well it relaxed her so much she went into labor at about 10pm. She was in a ward. After a million trips to the bathroom to pee she decided to go to the nurses station and tell them she was in labor. They yell at her to get back in bed and someone will come check her. They do, wheel her out of the room it is now 11pm. She tells them not to call my Dad because she has long labors to call him after the baby is born. Well my Dad gets a call around 1:30 that I had arrived. I came in just about 3 hours - at 1:10 am to be exact. She said I was the easiest baby she ever had because she was already at the hospital. There wasn't the going into labor, making phone calls(doctor and babysitter), getting in the car driving 20-30 miles to get to the hospital, checked in, prepped and then allowed to get down to the business of having the baby. By that time she said she was so warn out who could give birth. That is why she feels her labor was so long with the other kids and mine was so short - she was there and relaxed.

To Silinde

If you like the sound of the word 'snort', I suggest your reread all of ML's stories. I work so hard to get her to cut out that word, and yet there's still an overabundance of snorting going on.

And I'll save the rest of you from my labour and delivery stories.

gerry

The best way to go is: Repeat C-section

I know they don't do those anymore, but I knew what day he would be born at my first Drs appt. I walked into the hospital on my own, no pain, no nothing. They numb you and cut the kid out. The next day I could bend over and touch my toes, felt fine. Of course I paid for it with the first c-section.

Well all ours were born at home, so I can't really give hospital stories, but...

With our second one, Elisabeth was having very healthy contractions and she got a hold of my hand ...trust me, they wouldn't be able to drag the husband/man/unfortunate victim away from that grip. I was fairly certain that I was going to have a bruised hand or a cracked bone. (it is amazing how deformed a hand can become under the right circumstances...)


James

Thanks, guys, for all the information. I hope I can make good use of this to make my story believable.

(Although I am wondering if I should change the title to tell Tank and any woman who might ever want to have a child to stay away from this thread )

ML

quote:

________________________________________________________________
I think we have now successfully scared ML out of having kids. (And possibly Tank, too.)
________________________________________________________________

I have it on the best authority that Tank is an "Old Man" <g> although I think I am actually a couple of years older than he is. I don't think it's likely that he's going to change his attitude about kids at this point.

Actually, ML, if you need any help, you can ask me. I was a labor and delivery nurse and I can pretty much cover anything about a normal L&D that you need to know, although I might have to research some of the more recent procedures, since I stopped practicing a number of years ago.

Nan

Don't worry about me, Nan. 'Cause I can't have children anyway (although for some reason, I'm now feeling unreasonably happy about that fact ).

So maybe the title of this thread should be:

FFQ: Childbirth (Tank and any woman who might want to have children, don't open this thread. On the other hand, if you can't have children, be sure to read every word)

ML

What do you want to make a bet that Tank took a wee little peek? In DJ’s words... “Snort!”


Haha! I think that’s one of the best ‘ones’ I’ve ever heard. I think it may have been coincidence that your water broke. (But now that one about having sex... It's fairly accurate.)


They may have done this for the baby’s benefit. From my experience working in the nursery, I’d say that most likely they were worried that her blood sugar might plummet. And chances are they only gave her sugar water.


And yes, also speaking as a former labor and delivery nurse, 10 cm is correct, but that’s not all. You can be 10 cm and push all you want, but if your cervix isn’t thin enough yet, it won’t do you a bit of good. The cervix thins out so it is nearly paper thin.


Great thread, ML!!