Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Related The Recent Spate of Deathfics

Thanks, Pam. I've been trying to come up with a non-snarky way to express similar feelings. But it's just as well that I failed -- you did so beautifully!

Pam, I'm not usually this sensitive, believe me, but the loss of a younger (and only) sister from lung cancer, when she wasn't a smoker, nor did she live or work around smokers, is kind of a shattering experience. I am also now stuck with caring for an Alzheimer's patient -- my mother -- for who knows how long. I am not asking for a blatant warning -- just that some kind of comment be posted in the WHAM warning thread. Those who don't wish to be warned won't look at it anyway, and I would really appreciate the courtesy. My mother is driving me insane, and she's only been here four days. She has palpitations from nervousness, is afraid for me to leave the room, and asks every two minutes when she is going home -- which she isn't. She kept getting up last night and wandering around the house looking for the way out, which meant that I had to get up several times and take her back to her room. She was up at 5:30, which meant I had to get up at 5:30 as well. I'm dealing with all kinds of legal stuff that I haven't a clue how to handle, her medical situation, and a million other things. The stress is unbelievable. I really need a few minutes distraction during the day, and it just adds more stress when I am afraid to open a story for fear it will turn out to be a deathfic. I honestly don't want to cause any trouble, but it would be awfully nice to have a little reassurance. Is it so unreasonable to request a warning in the WHAM warning thread, especially when it shouldn't spoil it for the others?

I'm sorry if my request prompts a snarky response, rivka. I don't feel that I'm being unreasonable to request something like this. It isn't a demand. I'm not yelling and screaming about the insensitivity of writers who must write deathfics at just this time. That would be asinine, for starters. I'm just asking for a small amount of consideration from other writers during a very difficult time in my life. It would be very much appreciated.

Nan

No, it's not, Nan, but I think what's surprising people is that writers do do this anyway. Or they put a warning in the header of their story. This is what made me blink about this thread - as I said earlier, I just haven't seen any examples of people posting deathfic or very WHAMmy fic without warnings.

So it just feels as if you're asking for something that everyone's already doing anyway, so... I don't get it.


Wendy

Hi Nan. You really need a break. Have you contacted the Alzheimer's Association www.alz.org/ for help? Maybe a neighbor or friend can babysit a while to give you some time off.

Now wait just a minute.

I specifically said that the reason I had NOT posted was because I could not come up with anything that wasn't snarky. As I didn't think snarkiness was deserved, I didn't post. Please do not get annoyed at me for a response that I decided not to post!

In any case, my theoretical response would have been less to your initial post and more to some of the later suggestions.

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time right now. Both of my father's parents died of Alzheimer's; it is a horrible, horrible disease. Even more for the caregivers than the patient.

Okay, I can accept that. In any case, I wasn't demanding anything. I wasn't sure how to explain, but I guess that I simply need to say it. I don't even want to open a deathfic at the moment. It feels like a kick in the stomach when I do, so I wanted to have a warning so I wouldn't have to. I hoped that if people understood why I was making the request they would understand and go along with me for a little while. That was all. I had no intention of starting a fight.

Nan

Nan, a friend of mine works for our local Alzheimer's association here in Ontario, Canada. I'm going to email her and ask her if she has any suggestions re: coping strategies.

You have a lot on your plate right now, but I'm a firm believer that when heavy demands are made on a person, he/she will find the strength to cope.

Irene

Nan, I'm very sorry that life is so hard on you. I hope you feel that at these boards, you can find a bit of sympathy and respect.

Ann

{{Nan}}

I'm sorry life's being so horrible for you right now. I do hope you can get hooked up with respite care soon, because you sound more stressed than any human being should have to be.

PJ