Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Related What I've Learned from L&C Fanfiction

76. Marry a man you don't know and don't love because he has a private jet and you only marry men who fly.

77. Glasses and hair gel are the best disguise. Nobody will recognize you, not even your best friend.

78. Don't trust in darn, nice guys.

79. A giant asteroid can be days away from striking Earth without anybody detecting it.

80. If you have a friend hacker you can find ANY information on the internet - birth and death certificates, bank accounts, blueprints, past jobs, etc...

81. If there's an alien invasion they will land in Metropolis and the first place they will go is the Daily Planet.

82. The most important press conferences are held in front of the Daily Planet.

83. If you replace a work colleague for another person and keeps the same name nobody will notice it. It also applies to the Lane family members.

84. Keep the villains talking - they will always tell you what they did or intend to do - and afterwards you will escape and nail them.

This one's actually true. Sometimes we don't find asteroids until after they've narrowly missed us.

What never made sense to me was how Nightfall passed between Earth and the Sun the way it did but was still on a collision course. The geometry just doesn't work. Maybe I'm not accounting properly for the Earth's gravitational pull on it, but it seems like the writers just didn't think it through. ::end rant::

85.You can jump from a penthouse and lose your hair.
86. Never, ever connect the dots. Superman and Clark Kent look nothing alike.

mrsMxyzptlk said: You are correct, but it's even worse than that. If you look at the physics of casting a shadow, something as small as Nightfall can't cast a shadow more unless it's pretty much right on top of you.

I did a quick calculation. Based on a diameter of 17 miles across, to cast a shadow that reached the ground, Nightfall would have had to be less than 2000 miles away. If it was moving at 30,000 mph (as the script says) then it would have hit (or missed) the Earth approximately 4 minutes after everyone saw the shadow.

This is one of the reasons that Bev continuously tells me to stop analyzing the so-called science when we watch tv or movies.
Bob

You know, Bob, I'm the same way. I don't mind if there's a reasonable amount of Handwaving and Techno Babble if that moves the story along, avoids tedious exposition, or sets up something important.

But I don't like it when stuff is *obviously* stupid or impossible. That really messes up my Willing Suspension of Disbelief .

I have to agree with that. I'm the same way.

That being said - at which number were we?

87. Your future - and that of your family and far-off descendants is not set in stone.
88. Super powers are dominant. Most of the time.
89. If you're Kryptonian and grew up on Earth, you'll learn from your kids how to use your telepathic talent.
90. Despite you and your spouse being from different planets and scientist saying you can't sire children, you will have a number of them. Because a time-traveller in a bowler hat said so. (Your oldest child might be cloned from you, or be born by your birth wife on NK, though.)

91. Adoptive parents will love their kid(s) more than birth parents.

92. Amnesia is a common aliment in Metropolis.

93. It doesn't matter how gorgeous of a woman you are, slap a mustache on you and possibly a toupee, and lower your voice, and men will instantly think you're one of them.

94. 2 out 3 psychologists should be avoided at all costs. (okay, technically, I learned that from TV)

95. Don't trust people from the government to actually be who they say they are.

96. There's someone out there for everyone, even if you're an alien from another planet.

97. How to marry a superhero: be mean his alter ego, hate his ties and almost marry his arch enemy.

97b. Lie to his alter-ego, steal his work, and drool on his Spandex to make sure he knows that you're still interested.
97c. Also make sure you take advantage of him (in and out of Uniform) whenever possible.
97d. Reject his advances and make fun of his family.

Hmmmm... 'How to Marry a Superhero' might end up being a thread of it's own.

98. All of your descendants and ancestors will look just like you.

99. All of their acquaintances will look just like people you know, too.

100. The Kent family will have at least one member work for the Planet for generations to come.
101. People know a map from the local Sewage Reclamation Facility on sight. (Okay, that's also from the show...)
102. Lois is always right (unless she isn't).
103. Lois always tries to stay out of trouble (by heading straight into it).
104. Lois always has a plan. Kind of. It just doesn't usually work.

(From hours and hours of reading fanfic I also learned how many kB I can read in plain text format (txt) per hour. Come to think of it, my English vocabulary increased greatly from reading fanfics here, too. Especially the kind of stuff you never learn at school.)

105. Tomato paste is an aphrodisiac.
106. It's not easy to make butter chicken.
107. Let HIM do the cooking, let HER do the talking.

Actually, I have seen fan fics run recovery time into weeks.

108. When you don't want to get pregnant you will, when you want to get pregnant it will be totally impossible.

Isn't that Murphy's Law?

109. There are major natural disasters all over the world at least weekly.

110. Emergency services and the police are incompetent to the point that Superman is required to intervene every time he hears sirens.

111. Natural disasters and sirens always happen whenever Clark is trying to have an important conversation.

112. A Lois from an alternate universe will immediately fall in love with Clark when they meet.

Is this really so unbelievable?

113. It's not what you can do, or how much money you have that makes you attractive, but who you are.

114. If Lois says more than two sentences at a time, she is babbling, and it is not considered rude to point that out and tell her to shut up.