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22. - give some careful thought to choosing your living room sofa 23 - hang around for a few minutes longer and save yourself a lot of heartbreak ( like… uh… don’t jump to conclusions) 24 - If the stuff glows in the dark, regardless of its being liquid or solid or its colour, don’t touch, inhale, or drink it 25 - sit down and actually talk to the people you care about … and save a lot of heartbreak 26 - men who are good cooks are hard to find 27 - there is no life crisis for which there is not an inspirational Elvis parable c. (love this thread  )
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Top Banana
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28 - a farmboy's best friend is his mom; a city girl's best friend is chocolate
29 - although it might also be Bill Henderson <g>
c.
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Pulitzer
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30. When you're called to the morgue to identify your girlfriend's body, insist on a DNA test. It might be someone else, surgically altered to look like her.
PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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31. Always carry a spare bag of gold nuggets. You never know when you'll be stranded in time and in need of fuel. 32. If someone asks you to smash yourself into a giant asteriod composed of the one substance in the universe that can kill you, make absolutely certain that there is no better way to deal with the threat. 33. There are no limits to the number of things that can happen in the time after you get shot at point-blank range by a gangster from the past. 34. If you get shot by a gangster at point-blank range, even in front of dozens of witnesses, there is always something better that you can do rather than fake your own death, wallow in self-pity, and let your partner grieve for you. 35. If you think you have defeated the bad guy, make sure to kill him an extra 2 or 3 ways, just to be absolutely certain. 36. Stranding a time-travelling villain in the past is not an effective means of incarceration. 37. Always be suspicious of natural disasters. They are usually an attempt by the gods to keep you away from your partner at a crucial moment. 38. If you have a secret identity, make sure to tell your true love sooner rather than later. Chickening out now will only cause even more problems for you down the road. 39. If mysterious aliens claiming to be from your home planet suddenly show up to ask you to leave your home, your friends, your family, and your fiance in order to deal with some civil war halfway across the galaxy on a barren rock where you won't have any super powers and where you'll have to deal with a fuedal government and an arranged marriage to a woman you've never met before... Just say no. 40. Just because your wife turns out to be a clone, don't write her off. It's not her fault, and you know she has good genes... 41. You can save time on baths and help get rid of that annoying smokey odor in your clothes by plunging into the ocean on your way home. 42. Never take Utopia for granted. Paul P.S. TEEEEEEJ, some of yours seem kind of familiar. Are you sure you learned them from L&C Fic?
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
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OH heck yeah!! I used the list Paul...they work don't they? I copied that list to my hard drive to help with my stories. The one about going home alone though...I came up with THAT one myself. <shudddddders>
TEEEEEJ/ spelled YRRRRRH if my fingers are wrong on the keyboard.
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Top Banana
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43. You can suffer kidnapping, memory loss, cloning, cryogenic-like freezing, and learning that your boyfriend is an alien all without having any negative psychological affects.
Lynn
You know that boy'd walk on water for you? Or he'd drown tryin'. -Perry White to Lois in Just Say Noah
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Features Writer
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44. Even if you're another Clois clone, you can still survive thanks to helpful scientists!
45. Never piss off Lex if he's after your affections. He might turn something in Mother Nature, to something man-made!
46. Don't kiss your ex-girlfriend in front of Lois. It will only make her angry and we all know how bad "Mad Dog Lane" can get.
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47. Ghosts really don't exist. So if you think you're talking to the ghost of Lois Lane, you might want to investigate astral projection. 48. On the other hand, should the ghost in question start writing on your mirror you might reconsider the issue of whether or not they exist.  Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Merriwether
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 ML 
She was in such a good mood she let all the pedestrians in the crosswalk get to safety before taking off again.
- CC Aiken, The Late Great Lois Lane
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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49) Babies really do get delivered by stork. Or H.G. Wells. Or... something.
50) Just tell her already, you idiot!
51) Not checking for Lois's heartbeat in the area before changing from one identity or the other, or undressing, is not the most brilliant idea you've ever had.
52) However, if #50 is too much of an issue for you, #51 is a pretty quick way to get it over with.
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53. There is no situation so dire, so hopeless, that you can't get out of unscathed at the last minute. 54. Lex Luthor will die. And die. And die. And die. And die. And die. And... 55. Tempus never gives up. 56. Watch that red Kryptonite - it might not hurt you the way the green stuff does, but it can be way more harmful!  57. And speaking of Kryptonite, there is an never-ending supply of the stuff.  58. Don't underestimate that loopy, on-another-planet scientist you just happen to know - he can become skilled in any area of medicine, even obstetrics and gynaecology! Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Hack from Nowheresville
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59. If there's stuff you don't like in the show, just pretend it never happened. Ever. What baby?
Helga
Knowledge is knowing that tomatoes are a fruit.
Intelligence is not putting them in a fruit salad.
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Pulitzer
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60. If you go to New Krypton, there's a 98% chance you'll be back within the week.
61. Don't ever tell your true love "I have something important to tell you later" -- the "later" will never arrive, because in the meantime, she'll have figured you out and be really ticked that you didn't tell her.
PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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62.NEVER go home alone, just *forget* it, stay at a hotel or bring 4 people with you....<shudders>
TEEEEEJ/just finished reading "In a Dark Time"
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Columnist
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60. If you go to New Krypton, there's a 98% chance you'll be back within the week. 63. If you go to New Krypton, there's a 1.9% chance that you'll come back in 1-10 years and your fiance will have been raising your child while you were gone. 64. If you live in a dimention where you have yet to find your soul mate, you will be thoroughly tortured before being allowed to be together. ~Anna
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65. Never play Old Maid with an old maid.
66. Always do the math, count your change, and wear clean underwear on the first date.
67. Only Lois Lane can hail a cab without really trying.
"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher
"Fun will now commence" 7of9
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Top Banana
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68. Individuals of different species with entirely different evolutionary backgrounds can still produce offspring.
"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
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69. Always be suspicious of natural disasters. Barring #37 above, they are an attempt by the mad scientist of the week to take over the world.
Shallowford
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Hack from Nowheresville
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70. It is still possible to shave oneself using heat vision even when blind.
"It's the mythology of a sun god who wished he was a man because he saw something so great in us. It's the story of a hero who could move whole worlds and see through stars and hear a whisper on the other side of the planet... ...and who fell in love with a storyteller." - ashmaht (x)
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71. It is still possible to shave oneself using heat vision when one has amnesia and doesn't know that one even has heat vision.
72. If you have amnesia and someone tells you that you wear glasses, just go with it and wear them even if your vision is already perfect and the glasses don't do anything.
73. Eyes aren't "brown". They're "chocolate".
74. Constantly threatening to fire your employees if they don't give in to your unreasonable assignments is an effective means of motivating them.
75. Sending a reporting team to a therapy retreat to get them together romantically is an acceptable use of company funds.
"It is a remarkable dichotomy. In many ways, Clark is the most human of us all. Then...he shoots fire from the skies, and it is difficult not to think of him as a god. And how fortunate we all are that it does not occur to him." -Batman (in Superman/Batman #3 by Jeph Loeb)
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