Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Related Calling all spouses...

Hey everybody

As some of you know already, I’m writing – or trying to write – a story in which there is a great deal of stress put on the issue of an engagement ring . Now I’ve run into a bit of a sticky spot regarding the way the ring is worn – is it common for a bride to take the engagement ring off before the actual ceremony takes place, in preparation for it’s replacement with the wedding band?

I’m not exactly sure of the situation here – my mother wears her engagement ring above her wedding, but I have no clue whether or not this is common or not.

If somebody knows for definite the situation here, it’d be great if I could clear this up

Sara

I've seen women wear them both ways.

I wear my engagement ring on top. As you suggest, the engagement ring comes off for the wedding ceremony. Under the tradition that, once on, the wedding ring doesn't come off, the engagement ring then goes on top. Of course, I frequently both take my rings off, to wash dishes, etc. But that is the way I wear them.

But, as I mentioned, I've seen women with the engagement ring on the bottom and the wedding ring on top.

- Vicki

Wow, thank you Vicki, and also to Wendy who responded on IRC.

Amazed as ever that a post can be answered so quickly thanks, FoLC's!

Now all I have to do is bring the Muse back from his permanent holiday :rolleyes: but thank you both for helping me get the ball rolling again

Sara

As Vicki said, traditionally the wedding ring is worn closer to the body, with the engagement ring above it. This way, the wedding ring "stays closer to your heart", as it was explained to me all those moons ago when I got married. <g> (OK, it was only 12 years ago, but you get the idea. <g>)

I've never known anyone who wore their wedding band on the top, though I do know people who simply have one combination ring which serves both functions. (Meaning, at the ceremony, their husband just put the same ring back on their finger.)

And yes, you are supposed to take your engagement ring off at the ceremony so the wedding ring can slip on first, though many of my friends just wore it on their right hand during the ceremony so they could switch it over to their left hand once the wedding ring was on.

Glad to hear you are writing, Sara!

Kathy

Hi,

Engagement ring first then the wedding band in the left hand heart finger.

On the wedding ceremony use can use both rings, but you need a wedding band the get marry at least.

MAF

When we got married,(17 years ago) my wife put her engagement ring on her right hand before the ceremony, then put it on her left hand outside the wedding ring after the ceremony. She seemed to think that was the traditional method - but I have no idea where the tradition comes from. It may be a Minnesota thing (her parents come from there) or a Missouri thing that she learned from her friends.

Wherever it came from, it worked out fine.

Frank

Just to throw in an oddball response...my mom had hers welded together to form one ring...I forget why...

Not so oddball, Jen ... my two rings are melded together, too. It's fairly common. This way, they don't twist around independently of each other, can be sized together, etc.

Kathy

No kidding, eh! Not something I see too often around here. Spiffy.

Well, mine were never welded together, but the wedding band was specifically made to fit against the engagement ring, which had an edge that looked like this:
so they sort of notched together. And I used to wear the wedding band on top -- the other way tended to pinch my finger.

Having just read Maria's post, it occurs to me that where I see women wearing the wedding ring on top is, in fact, in Puerto Rico. I honestly can't remember if I've ever seen anyone wear their rings like that in the states.

In Colombia, the rings are worn on the left hand if you were married in a civil ceremony and on the right hand if you were married in the Catholic church. (a piece of trivia I picked up from watching a Colombian soap opera!)

- Vicki

Everyone else pretty much covered it, but I can add that I've been married 30 years as of last April. My aunt showed me how the rings were worn and held my engagement ring during the wedding ceremony. Traditionally, the wedding ring goes on first, followed by the engagement ring.

Nan

Hmm, I had no idea... I wore my engagement ring on my left ring finger during the ceremony, put the wedding ring on top, and then switched them around before the reception. These other methods sound so much smarter <g> Oh, well...

PJ

I'm not sure, either, but I've heard that you're supposed to take the engagement ring off during the ceremony. I've got the single solitaire for my engagement ring, and then a wrap for the wedding ring, which were soldered together before the ceremony, so that really wasn't an issue. I usually wear the engagement ring on the bottom, but that's more so the "solid" side (the side of the wrap that doesn't go against the engagement ring) is facing out.

Hi Another Vicki,

Where I come from Left married and right is for separed or divorce. But yes, I know other country that use their web ring in the right hand. Strange.

MAF

Yes. If I'm not mistaken, my mother-in-law wears hers on her right hand. (She's a widow.)

- Vicki

Hi,

Found this.

http://www.tellallproductions.com/superstition/s24.html
Is religious thing. I think is to make sure he don't run. We in PR wear in the finger of the heart on left hand. Is a mix of religious and traditions

MAF
"With this ring, I pledge to you all that I am, all that we are. With this ring, I thee wed."

Well just for curiosity here in Brazil we don't have the engagement ring tradition. We use the wedding ring (both male and female) on the right hand until the marriage and then after it we put the ring on the left hand.

Raquel

My advisor is from Russia and he wears his wedding ring on his right hand. He said it is a Russian (or maybe Ukranian . . . not sure) custom that he and his wife decided not to change when they came to America -- they wanted to keep some of their traditions. I am not sure about his wife's engagement ring, though. I just thought it was an interesting tidbit, althouhg sort of OT.

- Laura

ps. to make this more on topic, my mom wears her wedding ring on the bottom to make it closer to her heart, then her engagement ring. When she got married, she wore the engagement ring on her right hand for the ceremony and then moved it to the left after . . .

Hey everybody

Sorry for being so long to reply, but a particularly stupid cousin of mine had a nasty accident and I've had to play Nurse Nancy, so unfortunately all the fun stuff got pushed aside.

Anyway, wow! Thanks everybody for all your replies - this has cleared the matter right up .

However, as soon as one problem was fixed up another one started :rolleyes:

Really? Are they mostly made of gold? It's just that I always thought both of Lois' engagement rings, and her wedding ring afterwards, were made of silver...also, I think you can get silver rings over here...

Anybody have anything else for me?

They could have been white gold. That's what my high school class ring is and it looks more like silver.

I don't believe they sell many (any?) silver wedding rings -- they tarnish too easily to be practical. Silver is also significantly less expensive than gold, so I would imagine it would fall into the "cheap" category in the jewelry stores. (Assuming here; don't mean to offend anyone who might have one. <g>)

Like Anne, if Lois's rings weren't made of yellow gold, I would assume they were either white gold (that's actually what my mom's rings were made of) or platinum. Platinum is actually more expensive than gold ... I'm not sure by how much, but I remember reading articles back in my engagment days about it being the new upscale thing, to have your engagment rings made from platinum.

But one decision couples do need to make when they are first shopping for engagement rings is whether they prefer the look of yellow or white gold (or platinum) for the setting. (I also have seen some men's rings that were kind of neat, where they had interlocking bands of each color, for a two-toned effect.)

Kathy

My rings were made of platinum (which always contains 10% irridium when used for jewelry). Not only is it significantly more expensive than gold (almost twice as expensive, currently ), it is more durable -- less likely to scratch, chemically more inert, etc.

Oh, and I have seen two- (or even three-) toned women's wedding rings too, Kathy, although they are less common.

Hi,

My rings are of white gold. I got an accident with my engagement ring (I burn the ring, don't ask ) I had to send the ring to the jeweler and they send the ring to special company to fix that and other problems (the diamond was falling). I think they gave the ring a new bath of white gold and fix the rest. Never had a problem with the ring again.

MAF

Ooh! Ooh! White gold could work!

I know some wedding rings and engagment rings are sold as a set. When put together they make a whole ring. One ring{one half of the total ring} is a band, the other {the other half of the total ring} is a band with a gem. The band with the gem is the engagment ring. It is left on during the wedding. Then the wedding ring, the solid metal band, is slipped on above it. Later both are welded together to form one ring.