Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#127293 06/22/03 09:50 AM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,569
HatMan Offline OP
Pulitzer
OP Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,569
well, it's back. smile hopefully there's enough here to get peoples' creative juices going. what will happen next? you decide! claim part 5 by posting to the TOC thread .

comments on this part go here. smile

Paul


When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Hi,

Great part. thumbsup

Quote
The revelation that her office had been bugged with a camera, a phone tap, and who knew what else certainly hadn't helped her sort through the confusion. That Lex -- for who else would have or even could have had those bugs placed? -- was so willing to invade her privacy was certainly not a good sign. And she couldn't even confront him about it without revealing how she'd found out. Despite everything, that was one thing she was clear on; she would not tell anyone that Clark was Superman. Which meant that, if she was to accept Lex's proposal, she'd have to keep the secret from her husband.
:rolleyes: Finally she is getting there.

Quote
"What do you mean it's too big to fit into the office?" he demanded. "I told you to -- I see. You were afraid it would be too obvious. Well, that's why I told you to build it into the ceiling. ... You didn't think you'd be able to work around the wiring. And you're just bringing this up now because...?" He sighed into the phone. "Never mind. How long would it take to rebuild it? ... I don't have that much time. Forget it. Just... put it in the wine cellar. I'll figure out how to work around your incompetence."
eek Is Luthor preparing the cage.

I was starting to miss this story.

More soon, please.

MAF laugh


Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999
T
Merriwether
Offline
Merriwether
T
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999
All the parts have been interesting so far, but in this latest part, Paul, I've run into a bit of a snag.

She's all bent out of shape, and confused because Clark lied to her. Granted, it was a pretty big lie, but even she realizes that he did have some reasons for being careful about it. But she finds out Luthor has her office bugged and video taped and she shrugs it off as a mere annoyance.

Perhaps a little more self-righteous anger at her almost intended?

Also, Missy introduced Clark as the newest anchor man, but Lois just sent him out on an assignment. I wonder what the producer is going to say when he/she finds out that Lois sent an on air personality out into the field?

Tank (who wonders who will be next?)

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,202
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,202
YAY! House of Cards is back!

Nice part, Paul. Glad you decided to get back to it, I missed it. So Lois is slowly understanding what it means for Clark to be Superman... with the excuses and everything.

Looking forward to whoever's gonna write more.

Saskia


I tawt I taw a puddy cat!
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,206
RL Offline
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,206
I have to agree with Tank here. Lois, having her privacy invaded, would have gone ballistic against Lex. If she were in her right mind (big "if" in this arc), she wouldn't have cared how she found out and would have told off Luthor before handing him his walking papers for not trusting her. If she's upset at Clark being there to check up on her, what does she think video cameras and phone taps are for? Yet she's ready to crucify Clark and let Luthor off the hook for doing exactly the same thing.

As for Clark, she's appropriately upset at Clark and very confused, but she seems to have completely written him off as a romantic partner and is now concentrating exclusively on Luthor as her "maybe soon to be fiance," which sounds very much like she's leaning towards saying yes, odd given the bugging of her office. She thinks of Clark only in the terms of whether she even wants to be his friend or not, not whether she wants to be involved with him, be his friend, or neither.

If Clark is actually there to investigate Luthor, she would be unjustified in being angry at him, not that that would stop her. What business is it of hers what he does? If he wants to waste his time investigating such an honest man, that should teach him. Clark should ask her to help him investigate, just to get a reaction out of her. 'Fess up about it. At this point in time, Lois rolls over for just about any misdeed of Luthor's, while at the same time is upset at everything Clark does. If she turns him in, he's justified in writing her off. Of course, she'll fry him for checking up on her, even if it's to find out whether she'll spill the beans on his secret identity.

I like the fact that Lois is automatically covering for Clark now when he has to venture off to be Superman.

Quote
Also, Missy introduced Clark as the newest anchor man, but Lois just sent him out on an assignment. I wonder what the producer is going to say when he/she finds out that Lois sent an on air personality out into the field?
As for Clark being told by Lois to investigate a story, it's not necessarily in the field. Being an executive, isn't it her job to tell these people what to do?

Nice setup for the next part, where I'll guess the next writer will have the meeting between L&C.


-- Roger

"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -- Benjamin Franklin
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,569
HatMan Offline OP
Pulitzer
OP Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,569
i'm going to jump in early here because i want to respond to the concerns that have been raised.

yes, i expect lois is quite upset about the bugs. under more ordinary circumstances, she'd have torn into lex in half a second. my thinking here, though, is that she's confused and overwhelmed. between lex's proposal, clark's revelation, clark's suddenly taking the job at LNN, the revelation of the bugged office, and the reminder that clark kent has super powers, she's got quite a lot on her mind.

as i see it, it's not that she dismissed it as an annoyance. it's that she set it aside for the moment because she has bigger issues to deal with first.

she certainly hasn't let him off the hook. i expect there'll be words once she gets herself together enough to find the right ones. she may even change her mind about bringing up the bugs, once she has time for a second thought.

i just thought that the situation with clark was more immediate. she's got more questions for him, and, whether or not she's prepared to admit it, he's more important to her.

Quote
Also, Missy introduced Clark as the newest anchor man, but Lois just sent him out on an assignment. I wonder what the producer is going to say when he/she finds out that Lois sent an on air personality out into the field?
ah. you're right. i'd misread that. in any case, he's the new guy, she's top bananna, the person he was talking to probably had no idea who he was, and it was a handy excuse on short notice.

there may well be some confusion to sort out when he gets back (maybe someone will have a chat with lois about ordering the wrong people around or maybe clark is actually a roving reporter and accidentally said "anchorman" because he's new to the job and the medium), but that's for the next writer to decide. laugh

Quote
As for Clark, she's appropriately upset at Clark and very confused, but she seems to have completely written him off as a romantic partner and is now concentrating exclusively on Luthor as her "maybe soon to be fiance," which sounds very much like she's leaning towards saying yes, odd given the bugging of her office. She thinks of Clark only in the terms of whether she even wants to be his friend or not, not whether she wants to be involved with him, be his friend, or neither.
this is actually something i'd intended. i'm glad you picked up on it. here are my thoughts on the matter:

(1) she told clark that she's not in love with him. maybe she is, but if so, she hasn't admitted it to herself yet.

(2) she's in the middle of at least 2 arguments with clark (over the revelation and over the job)

(3) she's not even sure what clark thinks of her, given that she hurt him by turning him down and then asking him to find superman.

so, clark is not looking like a romantic prospect at the moment. and, since she now knows clark is superman, that rules out blue boy, too.

which means that lex is looking like her only choice unless she wants to stay single for the forseeable future.

she knows she doesn't love him, she knows that it wouldn't be perfect. she knows that even more now. on the other hand, he's there, he's very eligible, he's proposed, the DP is gone, and the only one of her old friends who is even still talking to her is clark (who, as mentioned, is a confusing and infuriating figure at the moment).

lex is looking like a worse and worse option, but she's still trying to talk herself into it because she doesn't know where else to turn.

Quote
If Clark is actually there to investigate Luthor, she would be unjustified in being angry at him, not that that would stop her. What business is it of hers what he does? If he wants to waste his time investigating such an honest man, that should teach him.
what buisiness it is of his to persue an unjustified vendetta against her boyfriend? especially behind her back?

(as to whether or not clark will tell her, i'd say no. he knows she wouldn't take it well. though the bugs may change her mind. maybe. in any case, it's not up to me to decide. personally, i don't see how he can really investigate lex from within LNN, but maybe someone else knows.)

anyway, i'll respond to other comments later.

what i want to know is if my explanations work and if you think any of what i've said should be worked into the story (added to this part as introspection, perhaps). do i still need to change anything? add anything?

thanks for taking the time to point out the problems. i'd appreciate any further thoughts.

Paul


When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,206
RL Offline
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,206
Quote
what i want to know is if my explanations work and if you think any of what i've said should be worked into the story (added to this part as introspection, perhaps). do i still need to change anything? add anything?
Seems logical to me for the most part.

Her behavior towards Luthor is typical for this period of time, so I guess her reaction to the bugging makes relative sense, re my comment about her being in her right mind. At this point in time, she literally does nothing anytime she's confronted by any sign of Luthor's villainy whether it be bugging her office or Lexel Investment's extra insurance policies. She's so willing to believe him that she'll rationalize away anything, but never gives Clark a break on anything he does.

But eventually, her privacy would be a big deal and she would have it out with Luthor before the wedding, if nothing more than to say that he won't be controlling her life once they're married. I just can't see her sitting still for something of this magnitude for long. And Lex will of course pretend to agree, and will then proceed to bug her apartment (if it hasn't already been done) and adding more bugs that are better concealed in her office. We know her car's already bugged. So I would have preferred some introspection that was stronger to the effect that she was mad at Lex but would deal with it later, rather than just saying that Luthor's willingness to invade her privacy was "not a good sign." That shows an almost indifference, whereas she said Clark wouldn't live long enough to regret it for a similar, and actually lesser, transgression. She's also mad at Clark for something he MAY be doing ("checking up on the little woman") versus almost indifference with Luthor who's been caught in the act of real spying. I would prefer something along the lines of, "if anything remotely like this happens again, he's history." A Lois in her right mind wouldn't even give him a second chance. He would have immediately moved into the distrusted federal disaster category. To me, that was the only weak spot to me in an otherwise enjoyable part.


-- Roger

"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -- Benjamin Franklin
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 843
Features Writer
Offline
Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 843
Yay! Finally part 4 is up! thumbsup

I loved this part, especially how Lois assumed the "editor-in-chief" (actually, producer) position and helped Clark. Maybe she will think of him as other than a friend as soon as she thinks more about Luthor.

Oh, no! Here comes the kryptonite cage again! eek

I have a question: is LNN inside the Lex Towers, or is it a different building?

Who's posting the next part? Please somebody claim it soon. Don't leave us waiting this long! frown

malu wave

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,569
HatMan Offline OP
Pulitzer
OP Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,569
okay. first off, i've edited the post. that's what i get for writing at 4am. of course, the post was also edited at 4am, but hopefully it works better than the first try. wink

secondly, i'm going to respond to comments now, but please don't be shy about adding more comments (or about responding to something i've said). as far as FDK posts go, the more, the merrier. smile

maria asked:

Quote
Is Luthor preparing the cage.
yep. i figured that wouldn't have changed, and it makes a nice plot point. smile

Quote
I was starting to miss this story.

More soon, please.
yeah, me too. nice to hear i wasn't the only one. as for more, i'd like to see it, too, but that means someone is going to have to agree to write it. smile

tank, thanks for your careful reading. hopefully it works better now. like i said, i really appreciate your taking the time to point out the glitches.

as for who's next... dare i ask if you're interested? you can give lois a haircut to celebrate her new job, give us a new whammy twist, whatever you want. just please don't kill anyone important. wink

sas, thanks for the enthusiasm. good to hear. smile

roger, thanks also for taking the time to point out the plot glitches and for responding to my earlier post.

paul, interesting thoughts. thanks for... oh, wait. never mind. wink

malu, thanks for your comments. smile

as for your question...

Quote
I have a question: is LNN inside the Lex Towers, or is it a different building?
i'm pretty sure they're two different buildings. can anyone confirm?

Paul


When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999
T
Merriwether
Offline
Merriwether
T
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,999
Okay, even though I'm currently in the middle of something else at present. I have been giving this story a little thought.

So, if the gentle readers can give me a few days, I'll take on the next part.

Tank (who is disappointed that he can't kill off anyone important wink )

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 290
Hack from Nowheresville
Offline
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 290
YAY! Cool smile

Have fun Tank!

-Breanna


_________________________
Trask: Does Superman have any telepathic powers?
Lois: (blushing) I hope not.
A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A
Quote
who is disappointed that he can't kill off anyone important
Why couldn't you? Is it part of Round Robin rules?

Carole smile1 (who's unable to give a clear definition of Round Robins, though she's beginning to get the concept).

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,206
RL Offline
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,206
Paul,

Good changes. This satisfies my concerns about Lois being too weak and inconsistent on the bugging. Thanks! thumbsup

My opinion on killing off major characters is that those typically go under the category of Tank Endings or deathfics. Tank endings generally come as a separate alternative to the main story while deathfics in a round robin should be agreed to ahead of time since one person's effort affects those of all the others that came before in the story. But that's IMO.

[EDIT] It's always OK to kill off the bad guys. And my definition of major character is L or C. It's not really a deathfic, IMO, if the Kents or Perry or Jimmy die since they are supporting characters.


-- Roger

"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -- Benjamin Franklin
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 767
Features Writer
Offline
Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 767
Yea Paul
I'm glad this is back
interesting section and interesting comments
more soon please Tank
merry

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992
T
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
T
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992
Paul

I'm so glad to see you continuing this. smile1

A great part! thumbsup

I really like how Lois realizes that she needs to help Clark. clap

I'm looking forward to seeing where Tank takes this. smile

Tricia cool

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 941
Features Writer
Offline
Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 941
Paul, I'm days behind here, and I see that there are two more parts posted, so I won't say much. Just wanted to note that I'm so glad that you continued this. I didn't see it before your edits, but since Lois still seems surprisingly calm about Lex bugging her office, I'm not surprised that people commented on it. But at least she does plan to have *words* with Lex about it, and it *is* the BatP/HoL arc, after all, so such behavior from Lois is, unfortunately, not really surprising.

And I'm glad that Lois is automatically covering for Superman, even though she seems to have completely dismissed Clark out of the running as a romantic partner. frown Hopefully someone will fix that in a future story part.

Now I can go see what Tank did. Maybe he did find a way to kill someone important. Has Jimmy been mentioned in this story yet? wink

KathyM


"Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter." - Babylon 5
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 35
Blogger
Offline
Blogger
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 35
We've got a lot of great writers on this board. That was wonderful!

I love the plot development and the mention of the cage in the wine cellar for the wedding day.

I like the twist of having Lois know something is up with Lex and him bugging her office.

Great writing!


Bella jump


Lois : And you know, you put up with me for the same reason I put up with you. It's because I'm completely in love with you."
Clark : "And I love you. Did we just make up?"
Lois : "I think so."

Moderated by  bakasi, Blueowl 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5